Shampoo Movie Quotes
George Roundy
Can't we just, eh, be friends?
Lorna
Okay.
[teen-aged Lorna makes George an offer he can't refuse]
Lorna
You wanna fuck?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
Let's face it, I fucked 'em all. I mean, that's what I do. That's why I went to beauty school. I mean, they're always there and I-I just can't I-I, you know, I - I don't know what I'm apologizing for. So, sometimes I fuck 'em. I go into that shop and they're so great lookin', you know, and I - I doing their hair and they feel great and they smell great. Or, I could be out on the street, you know, and I could just stop at a stoplight or go into an elevator or - I - it's a beautiful girl - I - I don't know - I mean, that's it! It makes my day. I mean, it makes me feel like I'm gonna live forever.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
[being pushed away by George during a dinner party]
C'mon, who's the greatest cocksucker in the whole world?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
You must be a very important executive.
Sid Roth
Well, whatever I am, I could get you whatever you want.
Jackie Shawn
Hm?
[points to George]
Jackie Shawn
Well, what I really want is to suck his cock.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
I don't fuck anybody for money. I do it for the fun.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
That's what I call fucking! Am I right or am I right?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
Do you think George is a fairy?
Felicia
Who?
Lester
The kid, the hairdresser.
Felicia
Well, I don't know for sure. He is a hairdresser, though.
Lester
Maybe he's just a kooky guy who likes to do kooky things.
Felicia
Maybe. Why do you ask?
Lester
I'm thinking of investing with him. He worries me.
Felicia
Why?
Lester
Well, maybe he's too flighty and irresponsible. That's why I asked if he was a fairy.
Felicia
I don't know. He's a hairdresser.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
Have you ever made it with a guy?
George Roundy
Have you ever made it with a girl?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
Christ, they're women aren't they! Have you ever listened to women talk, man? Do you? Cause I do until it's running out of my ears. I mean, I'm on my feet all day long listening to women talk and they only talk about one thing - how some guy fucked 'em over. That's all that's on their minds. That's all I ever hear about.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
Jill, I'm trying to get things moving.
Jill
Oh, grow up! You never stop moving! You never go anywhere! Grow up! Grow up - grow up!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Felicia
Oh god, Lester you are a miserable human being. You're not helping anybody! You're just twisting arms here for a lot of silly sons of bitches who are all out for themselves. You're kidding yourself if you think your new business partner is going to keep his hands off your girl. Or if she's going to keep her hands off of him!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
I just wish I knew what the hell I was living for. You can lose it all, you know. I mean, you can lose it no matter who you are. What's the sense of having it all. Market went down 10 points last week. God damn, Lyndon Johnson. Well, maybe Nixon will be better. What's the difference. They're all a bunch of jerks.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
Come on, tell me. Don't be afraid.
George Roundy
Why do you want to know so bad.
Lorna
To see if you've been making it with my mother.
George Roundy
Why would my being a faggot have anything to do with that?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[explaining to Lester why he had sex with his wife, mistress and daughter]
George Roundy
Face it, they know we're always trying to nail 'em and they don't like it. They like it and they don't like, it's got nothing to do with you Lester. It just happened.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
Last night I had a dream. I was 50 years old and I was supposed to meet Jill at the shop. It scared the hell out of me.
Jackie Shawn
Why?
George Roundy
I can't imagine being with Jill when I'm 50 years old. I can't imagine not being with you.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
Beverly Hills hairdresser. You might as well be a faggot.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
What about Felicia?
George Roundy
What about her?
Jackie Shawn
Did you?
George Roundy
Did I what?
Jackie Shawn
Come on. Oh, I just can't wait to see Lester with me and the *cunt* in the same room tonight.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
Are you gay?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jill
You know what George did the other night? He wakes me up at 2 o'clock in the morning, just to do my hair.
Jackie Shawn
Why?
Jill
I don't know! I don't know. He just woke me up and he said, "Come on, get up, I'm gonna make you the grooviest looking chick in this town."
Jackie Shawn
So, what did you do?
Jill
Well, I looked at him and I said, "George, if you love me, I am the grooviest little chick in this town."
Jackie Shawn
Did he cut your hair?
Jill
No. We didn't get around to that.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norman
Now, what is this horse shit about not collecting for the coffee?
George Roundy
I'm doing twice as much as I'm supposed to and if you think that I'm going to charge them $25 a head and hit on them for a cup of coffee, you can shove it right up your ass.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
Are you really serious about the shop?
George Roundy
Are you serious about Lester?
Jackie Shawn
I asked you first.
George Roundy
Well, I'm never serious about anything.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
Do you have a thing about older women? That's sort of faggity, isn't it?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jill
Can I ask you something?
Johnny Pope
Sure. As long as you don't ask me what sign I am.
Jill
Are you married?
Johnny Pope
Sometimes. But, eh, not at the moment.
Jill
Would you like to go to a party?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
Felicia, this party involves more than you and me, you know. These people here are concerned about more than each other.
Felicia
Is that right?
Lester
Yes! That's right. Some of us are trying to make this country be a better place to live in. Believe it or not.
Felicia
Is that what this is all about? To make this country a better place to live in?
Lester
Yes, that's what this is all about. It's a beautiful thing to see.
[Felicia laughs]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
Do you know why I used to get angry with you?
George Roundy
I wouldn't settle down.
Jackie Shawn
Cause you're always so happy - about everything.
George Roundy
I was?
Jackie Shawn
I found it rather unrealistic.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jill
Obviously there were others? Weren't there?
George Roundy
Obviously.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jill
You know what I read in Cosmopolitan? That if you don't have a baby before you're 30, you're going to have a Mongolian idiot.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
I don't know where a financial statement is. I got the heads. All right? The heads, the customers. They come to me. I'm the one they want. If I open a shop, they're gonna leave and they're gonna come to me. You'd be surprised. I got a lot of heads.
Mr. Pettis
I'm sure you do.
George Roundy
I - you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?
Mr. Pettis
No, I don't know.
George Roundy
How do you expect to lend me money if you don't know the first thing about my business?
Mr. Pettis
I don't. Good morning, Mr. Roundy.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
Maybe it means I don't love them. Maybe it means I don't love you, I don't know. No one's going to tell me that I don't like them.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norman
I want you to learn to collect for the coffee, George. Learn to nickel-and-dime. You're going to end up without a pot to pee in.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Felicia
Why don't you see Lester?
George Roundy
What? Your husband?
Felicia
Yes!
George Roundy
For what?
Felicia
The shop! I think you'd be a good investment. I don't mind telling him.
George Roundy
Hey, listen, baby, I'm a star! I'm a star.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George Roundy
You know, I think you've got the same eyes as your mother and your chin's a little bit like her's too.
Lorna
No. No, it isn't.
George Roundy
I think it is.
Lorna
No. My eyes aren't like her's either.
George Roundy
They are.
Lorna
No they're not!
George Roundy
They are. They're not.
Lorna
I'm nothing like my mother!
George Roundy
I'm not trying to insult you, you know.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
Who does he think I am? Some cigar that he's got between his teeth?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
David Brinkley
This is not a bad place to visit; but, I don't want to live here. By the way, this is not a projection, it is not NBC's experts, just my own personal, private opinion. I don't think we're going to get a winner tonight.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Senator East
This tells the story of the ancient grandmother, who upon seeing the garden gate of her childhood, stops for a moment and says, "Hello garden gate. Hello garden gate. Garden gate, hello" Hi-Yi-Ya! Hi-Yi-Ya! Hi-Yi-Ya...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
I don't know anything anymore.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Mr. Pettis
Jesus, let me show you something. Six. Six and three-quarters. That's our prime rate. And I'll tell you something else, the big boys are going for it. Do you know where FHA is?
George Roundy
FHA?
Mr. Pettis
Take a guess. Just take a guess where they are. Well, seven and a half.
George Roundy
Wow.
Mr. Pettis
Wow, in deed! We won't be going back to the old days anymore.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jill
Stop kissing everybody's ass that comes into that shop. That's not going to put you in business. That's going to make you a kiss-ass!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Mr. Pettis
Do you have any references?
George Roundy
I do Barbara Rush.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
See you tonight, huh, doll.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Jackie Shawn
What are you trying to do?
George Roundy
I want you to marry me. I, I want to take care of you. I, I want you to have a baby with me. Hey, I know I'm a fuck up, but I'll take care of you. I'll make you happy. I swear to God I will.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
You're right or you're right.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lorna
[to George] Do you have a thing about older women? That's sort of faggoty, isn't it?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lester
I don't know how a guy like you thinks. What, do you get your kicks sneaking around behind people's backs taking advantage of them? Is that your idea of being anti-establishment?
George Roundy
I'm not anti-establishment.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
