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Kinoafisha Films The War of the Roses The War of the Roses Movie Quotes

The War of the Roses Movie Quotes

Oliver Rose I think you owe me a solid reason. I worked my ass off for you and the kids to have a nice life and you owe me a reason that makes sense. I want to hear it.

Barbara Rose Because. When I watch you eat. When I see you asleep. When I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.

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Gavin There are two dilemmas... that rattle the human skull. How do you hold onto someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

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Oliver Rose You have sunk below the deepest layer of prehistoric frog shit at the bottom of a New Jersey scum swamp.

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Oliver Rose [Oliver and Barbara pass each other on the stairs] Stinking bitch!

Barbara Rose Dumb bastard!

Oliver Rose Slut!

Barbara Rose Scum!

Oliver Rose Filth!

Barbara Rose Faggot!

[Passes Susan the maid]

Barbara Rose Morning Susan.

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Oliver Rose You weren't even multiorgasmic before you met me, were you?

Barbara Rose You really expect me to keep on reassuring you sexually even now when we disgust each other?

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Gavin My father used to say there are four things that tell the world who a man is: his house, his car, his wife and his shoes.

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Oliver Rose [just got in the chandelier which pulled him of the balcony] I think I can swing this over to the balcony.

Barbara Rose Stop it! Stop it! stop it!

Barbara Rose I loosened the bolt, I was gonna drop it on you.

Oliver Rose Oooh. That's a good one.

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Gavin There is no winning! Only degrees of losing!

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[Oliver Rose lies in agony, after having his penis bitten severely by Barbara Rose]

Barbara Rose Was it as good for you as it was for me?

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[Oliver Rose pees on the fish Barbara Rose had prepared for the guests]

Barbara Rose I would never humiliate you like this!

Oliver Rose You're not equipped to, honey.

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[last lines]

Gavin [on the phone with his wife] Hi, what're you doing? I'm coming home. Love you.

[smooches]

Gavin Bye.

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Barbara Rose Have you ever made angry love?

Gavin Is there any other way?

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Gavin Oliver, my father used to say that a man can never outdo a woman when it comes to love and revenge.

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Gavin At 15 I became an evolutionist; and it all became clear. We came from mud. And after 3.8 billion years of evolution, at our core is still mud. Nobody can be a divorce lawyer and doubt that.

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Mr. Fisk [Speaking to the other guests after seeing Oliver urinating on the stove] A family tiff seems to be developing. I don't know if we should leave, but I definitely advise skipping the fish course.

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Oliver Rose Wh... why do you want a divorce? I mean... did l do something? Did l... did l *not* do something?

Barbara Rose l can't give you specifics, Oliver.

Oliver Rose Well, try!

Barbara Rose I don't *want* to try!

Oliver Rose ls there somebody else? Another man?

Barbara Rose No.

Oliver Rose A woman?

Barbara Rose You wish.

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[Finding out that they are going to get a divorce]

Oliver Rose And you better get yourself a damn good lawyer!

Barbara Rose Best your money can buy!

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Barbara Rose Get out of the car, honey!

Oliver Rose You're gonna have to kill me.

Barbara Rose I mean it, Oliver.

Oliver Rose You don't have *guts*! C'mon!

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[first lines]

Gavin [Gavin is talking to a client] You have some valid reasons for wanting a divorce.

[blows his nose with a handkerchief]

Gavin Excuse me. My sinuses are very sensitive to irritants.

[sprays nasal decongestant up his nostrils]

Gavin In the past five months, I think I've breathed freely with both sides working maybe a week total.

[pulls a cigarette out of a pack]

Gavin I gotta cut this out. It's gonna kill me.

[lights his cigarette]

Gavin I hadn't smoked for thirteen years. I kept the last cigarette from my last pack. I said if I never smoked this one cigarette I'll never smoke again, period. Thirteen years I kept that cigarette.

[fetches a plastic case out of a drawer]

Gavin I had this little case made for it.

[opens it and shows it to him]

Gavin Thirteen years. And then, one Thursday afternoon, Barbara came to see me. And when she left...

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Barbara Rose [after making love to Oliver, several times, upon their very first meeting] If we end up together, then this is the most romantic evening of my life. And if we don't, then I'm the world's biggest slut.

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Gavin I should have seen her toes in the pit of my crotch as a cry for help.

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Barbara Rose [after learning that Oliver is moving back into the home] This is the stupidest thing you've ever done!