Django Unchained Movie Quotes
Django
Yeah.
Dr. King Schultz
Positive?
Django
I don't know.
Dr. King Schultz
You don't know if you're positive?
Django
I don't know what 'positive' means.
Dr. King Schultz
It means you're sure.
Django
Yes.
Dr. King Schultz
Yes, what?
Django
Yes, I'm sure that's Ellis Brittle.
[Schultz shoots Brittle off his horse]
Django
I'm positive he dead.
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Dr. King Schultz
How do you like the bounty hunting business?
Django
Kill white folks and they pay you for it? What's not to like?
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Calvin Candie
White cake?
Dr. King Schultz
I don't go in for sweets, thank you.
Calvin Candie
Are you brooding 'bout me getting the best of ya, huh?
Dr. King Schultz
Actually, I was thinking of that poor devil you fed to the dogs today, D'Artagnan. And I was wondering what Dumas would make of all this.
Calvin Candie
Come again?
Dr. King Schultz
Alexander Dumas. He wrote "The Three Musketeers." I figured you must be an admirer. You named your slave after his novel's lead character. If Alexander Dumas had been there today, I wonder what he would have made of it?
Calvin Candie
You doubt he'd approve?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes. His approval would be a dubious proposition at best.
Calvin Candie
Soft hearted Frenchy?
Dr. King Schultz
Alexander Dumas is black.
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Calvin Candie
[to Django]
So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?
Django
Not for top dollar.
Calvin Candie
Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...
Django
He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.
Calvin Candie
Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.
Dr. King Schultz
Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?
[laughs]
Dr. King Schultz
Who knows what could happen?
Calvin Candie
And what do you consider "ridiculous?"
Dr. King Schultz
For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?
Django
...12,000 dollars.
Calvin Candie
Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.
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Calvin Candie
Hello. Stephen, my boy!
Stephen
[black house servant exiting the Big House]
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis nigger up on dat nag?
Calvin Candie
Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?
Stephen
Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis nigger on dat nag?
Django
Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.
Stephen
Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo head spin!
Calvin Candie
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here's a freeman.
Stephen
Dis nigger here?
Calvin Candie
That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two oughta hate each other.
Stephen
Calvin, just who the hell is dis nigger you feel's the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie
Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen
Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis nigger.
Calvin Candie
You don't have to know why. Do you understand?
Stephen
Yes, sir. I understand.
Calvin Candie
Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.
Calvin Candie
Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.
Stephen
In the Big House?
Calvin Candie
Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen
Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and everything else when this black-ass motherfucker's gone!
Calvin Candie
That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!
Stephen
Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie
Go on, now.
Stephen
Cain't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a nigger to stay with us. What kinda shit is that?
Calvin Candie
Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER?
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Django
Django.
Amerigo Vessepi
Can you spell it?
Django
D-J-A-N-G-O. The D is silent.
Amerigo Vessepi
I know.
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[repeated line]
Django
Hey, little troublemaker.
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Django
You said in seventy-six years on this plantation, you've seen all manner of shit done to niggers but I notice... you didn't mention kneecapping.
[Django shoots Stephen in the kneecap]
Stephen
Oh, God-motherfucking-damn it!
Django
Seventy-six years, Stephen. How many niggers you think you seen come and go? Seven thousand? Eight thousand? Nine thousand? Nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine? Every single word that came out of Calvin Candie's mouth was nothing but horseshit, but he was right about one thing: I am that one nigger in ten thousand.
[He shoots Stephen in the other kneecap]
Stephen
Oh, you son of a bitch! Oh, you motherfucker! Oh, sweet Jesus, let me kill this nigger!
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Big Daddy
[instructing raiding party] Now unless they start shooting first, nobody shoot 'em. That's way too simple for these jokers. We're gonna whoop that nigger lover to death! And I am personally gonna strip and clip that gaboon myself!
[puts on bag]
Big Daddy
Damn! I can't see fuckin' shit outta this thing.
Unnamed Baghead
We ready or what?
Big Daddy
Naw, hold on, I'm fuckin' with my eye holes.
[rips bag]
Big Daddy
Oh. Oh, shit.
[takes off bag]
Big Daddy
Ah, I just made it worse.
Unnamed Baghead
Who made this goddamn shit?
Other Unnamed Baghead
Willard's wife.
Willard
Well, make your own goddamn mask!
Big Daddy
Look. Nobody's sayin' they don't appreciate what Jenny did.
Unnamed Baghead
Well, if all I had to do was cut a hole in a bag, I coulda cut it better than this!
Other Unnamed Baghead
What about you, Robert? Can you see?
Robert
Not too good. I mean, if I don't move my head I can see you pretty good, more or less. But when I start ridin', the bag's movin' all over, and I - I'm ridin' blind.
Bag Head #2
[rips bag] Shit. I just made mine worse. Anybody bring any extra bags?
Unnamed Baghead
No! Nobody brought an extra bag!
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Dr. King Schultz
[after Calvin Candie brings a box into his dining room and takes a human skull out of it]
Who is your little friend?
Calvin Candie
This is Ben. He's a old Joe that lived around here for a long time. And I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddy's daddy, till he up and keeled over one day. Old Ben took care of me. Growing up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lot of black faces. I spent my whole life here right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. And seeing them every day, day in day out, I only had one question. Why don't they kill us? Now right out there on that porch three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now if I was old Ben, I would have cut my daddy's goddamn throat, and it wouldn't have taken me no fifty years to do it neither. But he never did. Why not? You see, the science of phrenology is crucial to understanding the separation about two species. In the skull of the African here, the area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or other sub-human species on planet Earth. If you examine this piece of skull here, you'll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now if I was holding a skull of a... of an Isaac Newton or Galileo, these three dimples would be in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben, and in the skull of old Ben unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility.
[Turns to Django]
Calvin Candie
Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here and I bashed it in your skull, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben.
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Betina
What'cha do for your massa'?
Django
Didn't you hear him tell ya, I ain't no slave?
Betina
So, you really free?
Django
Yeah, I is free.
Betina
So, you wanna dress like that?
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Dr. King Schultz
Well, Brünnhilde was a princess. She was a daughter of Wotan, god of all gods. Anyways, Her father is really mad at her.
Django
What she do?
Dr. King Schultz
I can't exactly remember. She disobeys him in some way. So he puts her on top of the mountain.
Django
Broomhilda's on a mountain?
Dr. King Schultz
It's a German legend, there's always going to be a mountain in there somewhere. And he puts a fire-breathing dragon there to guard the mountain. And he surrounds her in a circle of hellfire. And there, Brünnhilde shall remain. Unless a hero arises brave enough to save her.
Django
Does a fella arise?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes, Django, as a matter of fact, he does. A fella named Siegfried.
Django
Does Siegfried save her?
Dr. King Schultz
[Nods]
Quite spectacularly so. He scales the mountain, because he's not afraid of it. He slays the dragon, because he's not afraid of him. And he walks through hellfire... because Brünnhilde's worth it.
Django
I know how he feel.
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Cora
Do what now?
Django
I said, "tell Miss Lara goodbye!"
Cora
Bye, Miss Lara!
Django
[quickly shoots Miss Lara, who is comically blown away into another room]
Y'all two run along now!
[Cora and Sheeba frantically run out of the house]
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Dr. King Schultz
Mister Candie, normally I would say "Auf wiedersehen," but since what "auf wiedersehen" actually means is "'till I see you again", and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir, I say goodbye!
[Dr. Schultz turns around to leave with Django and Broomhilda]
Calvin Candie
[Candie sulks in his library chair for a brief moment as he watches Schultz walk out. He then raises his hand to stop the doctor]
Hmm! One more moment, Doctor!
Calvin Candie
[Candie raises out of his chair]
It's a custom here in the South once a business deal is concluded that the two parties shake hands. It implies good faith...
Dr. King Schultz
I'm not from the South...
[Schultz turns again]
Calvin Candie
But you are in my house, Doctor! So, I'm afraid I must insist...
Dr. King Schultz
Insist? On what? That I shake your hand?
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz
Then I'm afraid I must insist in the opposite direction!
Dr. King Schultz
What you think I am? No, I don't!
Calvin Candie
I think you are a bad loser!
Dr. King Schultz
And I think you're an abysmal winner!
Calvin Candie
Never the less, here in Chickasaw County, a deal ain't done till the two parties have shook hands. Even after all that paper signin', don't mean shit you don't shake my hand.
Dr. King Schultz
And if I don't shake your hand, you're gonna throw away $12,000? I don't think so!
Calvin Candie
Mr. Pooch, if she tries to leave here before this nigger-loving German shakes my hand, you cut her ass down!
[Butch turns around to Broomhilda and clicks his gun. Django stands in front of Broomhilda to protect her in case she gets shot; he looks at Schultz. Dr. Schultz glares back at Django with an angry look on his face]
Dr. King Schultz
Oh, if you insist...
[Schultz smiles and walks up to Candie, pretending to willfully shake his hand; he instead raises a tiny gun hidden under his sleeve and shoots Candie in the chest]
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Stephen
DJANGO! You uppity son of a b...
[Plantation blows up]
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Dr. King Schultz
You silver tongued devil, you.
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Calvin Candie
Your boss looks a little green around the gills.
Django
He just ain't used to seein' a man ripped apart by dogs is all.
Calvin Candie
But you are used to it?
Django
I'm just a little more used to Americans than he is.
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Dr. King Schultz
I wish to parley with you.
Dicky Speck
Speak English.
Dr. King Schultz
Oh, I'm sorry, please forgive me. it *is* a second language.
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Calvin Candie
Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles...
[Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively]
Calvin Candie
... went through a whole lot of trouble...
[Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face]
Calvin Candie
... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.
Dr. King Schultz
And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?
Calvin Candie
[Candie lets go of Broomhila's head]
Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!
[Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear]
Calvin Candie
And if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is...
[Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat]
Calvin Candie
TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW... WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?
Dr. King Schultz
[Screams back nervously]
May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?
Calvin Candie
YES, you may!
[Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money]
[Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him]
Calvin Candie
[Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table]
SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER!
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Unnamed Baghead
[raiding party is discussing their bags] Do we have to wear 'em when we ride?
Big Daddy
Oh, well shitfire! If you don't wear 'em as you ride up, that just defeats the purpose!
Unnamed Baghead
Well, I can't see in this fuckin' thing!
[takes bag off]
Unnamed Baghead
I can't breathe in this fuckin' thing, and I can't ride in this fuckin' thing!
Willard
Well fuck all y'all! I'm going home! You know, I watched my wife work all day gettin' thirty bags together for you ungrateful sons of bitches! And all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! From now on, don't ask me or mine for nothin'!
Big Daddy
Now look. Let's not forget why we're here. We gotta kill a nigger over that hill there! And we gotta make a lesson out of him!
Bag Head #2
Okay, I'm confused. Are the bags on or off?
Robert
I think... we all think the bag was a nice idea. But - not pointin' any fingers - they coulda been done better. So, how 'bout, no bags this time - but next time, we do the bags right, and then we go full regalia.
[all agree]
Big Daddy
Wait a minute! I didn't say 'no bags'!
Bag Head #2
But nobody can see.
Big Daddy
So?
Bag Head #2
So, it'd be nice to see.
Big Daddy
Goddammit! This is a raid! I can't see! You can't see! So what? All that matters is can the fuckin' horse see? That's a raid!
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[first lines]
Dicky Speck
[cocks rifle]
Who's that stumblin' around in the dark? State your business or prepare to get winged!
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Ace Speck
Like that.
Dr. King Schultz
My dear sir, I am simply trying to ascertain...
Ace Speck
Speak English, goddamn it.
Dr. King Schultz
Everybody calm down. I'm simply a customer trying to conduct a transaction.
Ace Speck
I don't care. No sale. Now off with you.
Dr. King Schultz
Oh don't be ridiculous. Of course they're for sale.
Dr. King Schultz
My good man, did you simply get carried away with your dramatic gesture, or are you pointing your weapon at me with lethal intention?
Dr. King Schultz
Oh well, very well.
[pulls out pistol and shoots Ace and Dicky's horse]
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Dr. King Schultz
[in disbelief]
Let me get this straight: Your slave wife speaks German and her name is Broomhilda von Schaft?
Django
Yep.
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Dr. King Schultz
Now, anything else about Mr. Candie that I should know about before I meet him?
Leonide Moguy
Yes, he is a bit of a Francophile.
Dr. King Schultz
Ha! What civilized people aren't?
Leonide Moguy
And he prefers "Monsieur Candie" to "Mr. Candie".
Dr. King Schultz
Si c'est cela qu'il préfère.
[Subtitle: Whatever he prefers]
Leonide Moguy
He doesn't speak French. Don't speak French to him; it'll embarrass him.
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Big Daddy
Uh, Betina?
Betina
Yessir, Big Daddy?
Big Daddy
Uh...
[to Schultz]
Big Daddy
What's your Jimmie's name again?
Dr. King Schultz
Django.
Big Daddy
Django!
[to Betina]
Big Daddy
Betina, sugar, could you take Django there and take him around the grounds here and show him all the pretty stuff?
Betina
As you please, Big Daddy!
Dr. King Schultz
Oh, Mr. Bennett, I must remind you, Django is a free man. He cannot be treated like a slave. He... within the boundaries of good taste, he must be treated as an extension of myself.
Big Daddy
Understood. Betina, sugar?
Betina
Yes'um?
Big Daddy
Django isn't a slave. Django is a free man. You understand?
[Betina pauses]
Big Daddy
You can't treat him like any of the other niggers around here, 'cause he ain't like any of the other nigger around here. Ya got it?
Betina
You want I should treat him like white folks?
Big Daddy
No, that's not what I said!
Betina
Then I don't know what you want, Big Daddy!
Big Daddy
Yes, I can see that.
[turns to Mammy]
Big Daddy
Uh, what's the name of that peckerwood boy from town that works with the glass? His momma work at the lumberyard...
Big Daddy's Mammy
Oh, you mean Jerry?
Big Daddy
That's the boy's name, Jerry!
[to Betina]
Big Daddy
You know Jerry, don't ya, sugar?
Betina
Yes'um, Big Daddy.
Big Daddy
Well, that's it then! You just treat him like you would Jerry!
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Dr. King Schultz
Let's just hope she works in the house, not in the field.
Django
Oh, no, she ain't no field nigger. She... She pretty. And she talk good, too. But when they tore her back up and then they... burned that runaway "r" on her cheek... they goddamned her. She ain't no field nigger but she ain't good enough for the house no more either. They gonna try to make her a comfort girl.
Dr. King Schultz
What's a comfort...? Oh.
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Django
[Django shoots Billy Crash in the arm; he falls to the floor injured and wailing]
Billy Crash!
[pause]
Django
Now, where were we? Oh... that's right! Last time I saw you, you had your hands around my-
[Django shoots Billy Crash in the genital area; he starts screaming]
Billy Crash
D-Jango! You black son of a bitch!
[Django shoots Billy Crash dead]
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Dr. King Schultz
My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, Marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of 200 dollars. Now, that's 200 dollars, dead or alive.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
The hell you say!
Dr. King Schultz
I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news. But I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last two years. I know this because three years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now, this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was. In other words Marshall... you owe me 200 dollars.
Django
I'll be damned!
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Django
What'a a bounty?
Dr. King Schultz
It's like a reward.
Django
You kill people? And they give you a reward?
Dr. King Schultz
Certain people, yeah...
Django
Bad people?
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Calvin Candie
[to Stephen]
Stephen, when you get through showing them to their rooms, go fetch Hildi. Get her cleaned up and smellin' real nice and send her over to Dr. Schultz's room.
Calvin Candie
What?
Stephen
Uh, Hildi 'in the hot box.
Calvin Candie
Well what's she doin' there?
Stephen
What you think she doin' there, in the hot box? She been punished!
Calvin Candie
Well what did she do?
Stephen
She run off again.
Calvin Candie
Jesus Christ, Stephen! How many people run away while I was gone?
Stephen
Two.
Calvin Candie
Well when did she go?
Stephen
Last night. They brung her back this morning.
Calvin Candie
How long she been in the box?
Stephen
How long you think she been in there? All damn day! And the little bitch got ten more days to be in there.
Calvin Candie
Take her out.
Stephen
Take her out? Why?
Calvin Candie
Because I said so, that's why! Dr. Schultz is my guest. Hildi is my nigger. Southern hospitality dictates I make her available to him.
Stephen
But Monsieur Candie, she run off.
Calvin Candie
Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a nigger that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest? Now I realize it is an inconvenience. Still, you take her ass out!
Stephen
Yes sir.
Dr. King Schultz
Lori Lee! Will you and Cora be responsible for getting her cleaned up and presentable for Dr.Schultz, here?
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly
Of course, darling.
Calvin Candie
Now, gentlemen, I do apologize; but, I am weary from our travels beyond words. It is time for me to rest my tired eyes.
[kisses Lori Lee on the lips]
Stephen
[to the Overseers]
Ya'll done heard the man! Get her ass up outta there! Go! Come here. Get her over there and get her cleaned up and bring her back over here to, uh, Doctor -
[to Schultz]
Stephen
What did you say your name was? Shoots?
Dr. King Schultz
Shultz.
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Django
It's me, baby...
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Calvin Candie
I've heard tell about you. I heard you been telling everybody them mandingos ain't no damn good, ain't nothing nobody is selling is worth buying - I'm curious. What makes you such a mandingo expert?
Django
I'm curious what makes you so curious.
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Billy Crash
[after Django attacks one of Candie's men, pulling him off his horse]
Oh, you are one lucky nigger!
Django
You better listen to your boss, white boy!
Billy Crash
Oh, I'ma go walkin' in the moonlight with you!
Django
You wanna hold my hand?
[Billy Crash laughs]
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Dr. King Schultz
And as if on cue, here comes the sheriff!
Sheriff Bill Sharp
[Comes in tavern]
Okay, boys, fun's over! Come on out.
[Bill Sharp leads Schultz and Django outside while an anxious crowd watches]
Sheriff Bill Sharp
Alright folks, calm down! Go about your business. The jokers will be gone soon.
[Turns to Schultz and Django]
Sheriff Bill Sharp
Now, why do ya'll wanna come into my town and start trouble? And scare all of these nice people? You ain't got nothing better to do than to come into Bill Sharp's town and show your ass-!
[Dr. Schultz suddenly raises his derringer and shoots the sheriff in the stomach]
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Dr. King Schultz
How long have you been associated with Mr. Candie?
Leonide Moguy
Oh, Calvin's father and I were about eleven when we went to boarding school together. Calvin's father's father put me through law school. One could almost say I was raised to be Calvin's lawyer.
Django
One could almost say youse a nigga.
Leonide Moguy
What did you say?
Django
I said...
Dr. King Schultz
Nothing; he's just being cheeky.
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Big Daddy
It's against the law for niggers to ride horses in this territory.
Dr. King Schultz
This is my valet. My valet does not walk.
Big Daddy
I said, niggers on horses...
Dr. King Schultz
His name is Django. He's a free man. He can ride what he pleases!
Big Daddy
Not on my property. Not around my niggers he can't!
Dr. King Schultz
My good sir, perhaps we got off on the wrong boot. Allow me to unring this bell! My name is Dr. King Schultz, this is my valet, Django, and these are our horses, Tony and Fritz.
[Fritz the horse does his bow, making the slave girls giggle]
Dr. King Schultz
Mr. Bennett, I've been lead to believe you're a gentleman and a business man. And it is in these attributes we've ridden from Texas to Tennessee to parlay with you now. I wish to purchase one of your nigger gals!
Big Daddy
You and your Jimmie rode from Texas to Tennessee, to buy one of my nigger gals, no appointment, no nothin'?
Dr. King Schultz
Well, I'm afraid so!
Big Daddy
Well what if I say, I don't like you, or your fancy pants nigger, and I wouldn't sell you a tinkers damn! Now, what'cha got to say about that?
Dr. King Schultz
[Django looks at Schultz, Schultz looks at him and looks back up at Big Daddy]
Mr. Bennett! If you are the business man I've been led to believe you to be, I have five thousand things I might say that could change your mind.
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Stephen
[after Django is recaptured, stripped naked, taken to a barn and chained upside down from the ceiling; Stephen walks in and throws a bag of filthy clothes on the barn floor]
You leaving. This here is what you take with you.
[Stephen pulls up a stool and sits in front of the hanging Django]
Stephen
Your black ass is what all them motherfuckers at the Big House could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk ain't never had a bright idea in they life was coming up with all kinds of ways to kill your ass. Now, mind you, most of them ideas had to do with fucking with your fun parts. Now, that may seem like a good idea, but the truth is, when you snip a nigga's nuts, most of them bleed out in, oh, about... seven minutes. Most of them.
[Stephen chuckles at the shivering, then-helpless Django]
Stephen
Well, more than most. Then I says, "Shitfire! The niggas we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" And they say, "Let's whip him to death!", or "Throw him to the Mandingos. Feed him to Stonesipher's dogs." And I said, "What's so special about that? We do that shit all the time! Hell's bells, the niggas we sell to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" Lo and behold, out of nowhere, Miss Laura come up with the bright idea of giving your ass to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company!
[Django just stares at the old man talking to him]
Stephen
And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth until the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swingin' a sledgehammer, turnin' big rocks into little rocks. Now, when you get there, they gonna take away your name, give you a number and a sledgehammer, and say, "Get to work!" One word of sass, they cut out your tongue. And they good at it, too. You won't bleed out. Oh, they does that real good! They gonna work ya all day, every day 'till your back give out. Then, they're gonna hit you in the head with a hammer, throw your ass down the nigger hole.
[Django looks on]
Stephen
And THAT will be the story of you, Django!
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Stephen
[singing]
In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore. In the sweet by and by, we shall meet on that beautiful shore...
[continues signing]
Stephen
In the sweet...
[Stephen, Miss Lara and everybody else in the room jerks up to Django, who is standing on the top balcony lighting candles]
Django
Ya'll gonna be together with Calvin in the "bye-and-bye..."
[Django pauses as Billy Crash walks up]
Django
... just a bit sooner than ya'll was expecting!
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Dr. King Schultz
[Turns to the four remaining slaves]
Now, as to you poor devils. So as I see it, when it comes to the subject of what to do next, you gentlemen have two choices. One: once I'm gone, you could lift that beast off the remaining Speck, then carry him to the nearest town; which would be at least 37 miles back the way you came. Or two: you could unshackle yourselves, take that rifle, put a bullet in his head, bury the two of them deep, and then make your way to a more enlightened area of this country. The choice is yours.
[Starts to ride off but stops to talk to the slaves again]
Dr. King Schultz
Oh! And on the off chance there are any astronomy aficionados amongst you, the North Star is that one. Tata!
[Dr. Shultz rides away with his horse and wagon; Django follows him on horseback but keeps watch of what the four other slaves do to Dicky Speck]
Dicky Speck
[the slaves watch both Shultz and Django walk away and all turn to Dicky Speck, who is lying on the ground wounded]
Now, wait a minute, fellas! Let's talk about this!
[the black men start approaching him aggressively. One of the men drops the lantern; the slaves each take off their blankets and a couple of them pick up sticks]
Dicky Speck
You gotta be reasonable in a situation like this!
[the slaves continue walking towards him, not saying a word. The man on the far right holds a rifle. Django watches and observes all of this]
Dicky Speck
I'm not a bad guy, I'm just doing my job! Blueberry, didn't I give you my last apple? Tell you what, boys, take me to the doc in El Paso, and I'll get you your freedom.
[We hear the rifle cocking]
Dicky Speck
No... wait!
[the slaves shoot and kill Dicky Speck]
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Dr. King Schultz
Do most slaves believe in marriage?
Django
Oh, me and wife did. Old Man Carrucan didn't. That's why we, uh, we run off.
Old Man Carrucan
[During Django's flashback when he was a slave on the Carrucan plantation]
Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boy's got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand.
[Django, with a metal collar around his neck and face, looks on]
Old Man Carrucan
I want you to burn a runaway "R" right here on his cheek, and the girl, too.
[Django groans]
Old Man Carrucan
And I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell them. Both of them... separately.
[Django looks at Old Man Carrucan with rage]
Old Man Carrucan
And this one... you will sell him cheap!
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Django
[playing his role as a black slaver to the hilt]
You niggas gon' understand something about me! I'm worse than any of these white men here! You get the molasses out your ass, and you keep your goddamn eyeballs off me!
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Stephen
You said you ain't know him.
Broomhilda
Huh?
Stephen
I said, "You said you ain't know him."
Broomhilda
I don't.
Stephen
Yes, you do.
Broomhilda
Mister Stephen, I don't.
Stephen
Why is you lying to me?
Stephen
Then why is you cryin'?
Broomhilda
You scaring me.
Stephen
Why is I'm scarin' you?
Broomhilda
Because you're scary.
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Dr. King Schultz
Our mutual friend has a flair for the dramatic.
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Dr. King Schultz
Oh, Monsieur Candie, you can't imagine what it's like not to hear your mother tongue in four years.
Calvin Candie
Well hell, I can't imagine two weeks in Boston!
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[last lines]
Django
Let's get out of here.
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Calvin Candie
[the library doors open revealing Calvin Candie, Stephen is sifting his brandy]
What is the matter?
Stephen
[swirling his brandy glass, looks up]
Them motherfuckers ain't here to buy no mandingos. They's here for that girl.
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Broomhilda
Hey, big troublemaker.
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Dr. King Schultz
Auf Wiedersehen. Bullseye.
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Django
Hey, white boy!
[pause]
Django
I said, "hey, white boy!"
The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee
Shut up, black! You ain't got nothing to say I wanna hear!
Django
How would you like to make $11,000?
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Dr. King Schultz
Good morning, inn keeper. Two beers for two weary travelers!
Innkeeper
[while busy fixing a lamp bulb in the diner] Ah, it's still a bit early. We won't be open for another hour. By then, we'll be servin' breakfast-
[the innkeeper turns around and sees Schultz with Django; he gasps frantically]
Innkeeper
Whoa, whoa, WHOA, WHOA!
[to Django]
Innkeeper
What the hell you think you're doing, boy?
[to Schultz]
Innkeeper
Get that nigger outta here!
[the innkeeper is then shown running outside]
Innkeeper
Help! HELP!
Dr. King Schultz
[Schultz runs after him] Innkeeper... innkeeper! Remember, get the sheriff, not the marshal!
Innkeeper
[as he is running through the town] Sheriff! Help!
Dr. King Schultz
[Schultz returns to the inn and shrugs to Django] Alas! Now we must act as our own bartender. Sit down, my boy.
[Django sits at the table while Schultz goes to the bar to prepare two glasses of beer]
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Dr. King Schultz
I must admit, I'm at a bit of a quandary when it comes to you. On one hand, I despise slavery. On the other hand, I need your help. If you're not in a position to refuse, all the better. So, for the time being, I'm gonna make this slavery malarkey work to my benefit. Still, having said that, I feel guilty...
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz
So, I would like the two of us to enter into an agreement.
[Schultz leans in on Django]
Dr. King Schultz
I'm looking for the Brittle brothers.
[Django stares at him]
Dr. King Schultz
However, at this endeavor, I'm at a slight disadvantage insofar as I don't know what they look like.
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz
But you do. Don't ya?
Dr. King Schultz
Good. So here's my agreement: You travel with me until we find them...
Dr. King Schultz
I hear at least two of them are overseeing up in Gatlinburg, but I don't know where. That means we visit every plantation in Gatlinburg till we find 'em. And when we find them, you point them out, and I kill them.
[Django smirks and nods]
Dr. King Schultz
You do that, I agree to give you your freedom; $25 per Brittle brother.
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U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
[the Marshall has arrived to confront Dr Schultz]
This is U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum.
Dr. King Schultz
Wunderbar, Marshall! I have relieved myself of all weapons, and just as you have instructed, I am ready to step outside, with my hands raised above my head. I trust, as a representative of the criminal justice system of The United States of America, I shan't be shot down in the street, by either you or your deputies, before I've had my day in court.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
You mean like you did our sheriff?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes, that's exactly what I mean! Do I have your word as a lawman, not to shoot me down like a dog in the street?
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
Well, as much as we'd all enjoy seein' somethin' like that, ain't nobody gonna cheat the hangman in my town.
Dr. King Schultz
Fair enough Marshall, here we come!
[to Django]
Dr. King Schultz
They're a little tense out there. So don't make any quick movements, and let me do the talking.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
Come ahead. You unarmed?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes indeed we are. Marshall Tatum, may I address you and your deputies, and apparently the entire town of Daughtrey, as to the incident that just occurred?
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
Go on...
Dr. King Schultz
My name is Dr. King Schultz, and like yourself, marshall, I am a servant of the court. The man lying dead in the dirt, who the good people of Daughtrey saw fit to elect as their sheriff, who went by the name of Bill Sharp, is actually a wanted outlaw by the name of Willard Peck, with a price on his head of two hundred dollars. Now, that's two hundred dollars, dead or alive.
U.S. Marshall Gill Tatum
The hell you say!
Dr. King Schultz
I'm aware this is probably disconcerting news, but I'm willing to wager this man was elected sheriff sometime in the last two years? I know this because three years ago, he was rustling cattle from the B.C. Corrigan Cattle Company of Lubbock, Texas. Now this is a warrant, made out by circuit court Judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin, Texas. You're encouraged to wire him. He'll back up who I am, and who your dear departed sheriff was.
[He and Django lower their arms]
Dr. King Schultz
In other words Marshall, you owe me two hundred dollars.
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Calvin Candie
How long was he lose?
Mr. Stonesipher
About, a day. Just the other night.
Calvin Candie
How far he get off of the property?
Mr. Stonesipher
About twenty miles off the prop. Pretty far considering that limp he's got though.
Calvin Candie
M-hmm.
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Dr. King Schultz
Bonsoir ma petite femme noir.
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[Django is hesitating to kill Smitty Bacall]
Dr. King Schultz
[teasing] Ooh. What happened to Mister "I Wanna Shoot White Folks For Money"?
Django
His son's with him.
Dr. King Schultz
Well, good. He'll have a loved one with him. Maybe even share a last word. That's better than most of them get. Damn sight better than he deserves.
[Django still hesitates]
Dr. King Schultz
Put down the rifle.
[Django cocks back the safety and puts the rifle down]
Dr. King Schultz
Don't worry, I'm not mad at you. Let's take out Smitty Bacall's handbill.
[hands it to Django]
Dr. King Schultz
Now, read it out loud. Consider that today's lesson.
Django
[stumbles while reading] "Wanted... dead or alive. Smitty Bacall and the Smitty Bacall G..."
Dr. King Schultz
Gang.
Django
"Gang. For murder and... s-stagecoach ro... robbery. Seven zero-zero-zero..."
Dr. King Schultz
Seven thousand.
Django
Seven...?
Dr. King Schultz
Thousand.
Django
"Seven thousand... dollars for Smitty Bacall, one thousand, and five hundred dollars for each of his... gang m..."
Dr. King Schultz
Mem...?
Django
"Members. Known members of the Smitty Bacall Gang are as follas..."
Dr. King Schultz
Follows.
Django
"Follows. Dandy Michaels, Gerald Nash and..."
Dr. King Schultz
[finishes for him] Crazy Craig Koons.
[points to the portrait on the poster]
Dr. King Schultz
*That* is who Smitty Bacall is. If Smitty Bacall wanted to start a farm at 22, they would never have printed that.
[takes back the handbill]
Dr. King Schultz
But Smitty Bacall wanted to rob stagecoaches, and he didn't mind killing people to do it. Do you want to save your wife by doing what I do? This is what I do. I kill people and sell their corpses for cash. This corpse is worth seven thousand dollars. Now, quit your pussyfooting and shoot him.
[Django shoots Smitty. His son laughs, thinking it a joke]
Smitty's Son
Pa? Pa!
[runs to his father's body]
Dr. King Schultz
Here. You need to keep this Smitty Bacall handbill.
Django
Why?
Dr. King Schultz
It's good luck. You always keep the handbill of your first bounty.
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[in a flashback, when Django is doing target practice]
Dr. King Schultz
Do you know what they're going to call you? The "Fastest Gun in the South".
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Dr. King Schultz
I can't express the joy I felt conversing in my mother tongue. And Hildi is a charming conversation companion.
Calvin Candie
Well, be careful now, Dr. Schultz. You might have caught yourself a little dose of nigger love. Nigger love's a powerful emotion, boy. It's like a pool of black tar. Once it catches your ass, your caught.
Stephen
Yessir, you stuck!
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly
I don't know, doctor. You can lay on all the German sweet talk you want, but it looks like this pony's got big eyes for Django.
Dr. King Schultz
Well, naturally, it is the soaring eagle that attracts her attention, not the plucked chicken.
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Dicky Speck
[as Django walks over to Ace Speck's body to retrieve his coat]
Nigger! Don't you touch my brother's coat!
[Django turns around and walks towards Dicky Speck; he angrily stomps on his shattered leg]
Dicky Speck
AHHH! GOD DAMN IT! OH!
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Calvin Candie
Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen, and you, you old decrepit bastard are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
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Calvin Candie
Everybody stop antagonizing my guest.
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Dr. King Schultz
[Big Daddy approaches with a mob of other people to confront Schultz and Django after they killed the Brittle brothers]
Everybody calm down, we mean no one else any harm!
Big Daddy
Who are you two jokers?
Dr. King Schultz
I am Dr. King Schultz, a legal representative of the criminal justice system of the United States of America. The man to my left is Django Freeman, he's my deputy. In my pocket is a warrant signed by circuit court judge Henry Allen Laudermilk of Austin, Texas, for the arrest and capture, dead or alive, of John Brittle, Ellis Brittle, and Roger Brittle...
Django
They were going by the name of "Shaffer."
Dr. King Schultz
You know them by the name "Shaffer," but the butchers real names were Brittle. These are wanted men; the law wants them for murder. I reiterate, this warrant states "dead or alive." When Django and myself executed these men on sight, we were operating within our legal boundaries. Now, I realize passions are high, but I must warn you, the penalty for taking deadly force against a officer of the court in the performance of his duty is, you will be hung by the neck until you are dead.
Dr. King Schultz
Satisfied? May I have that back?
Big Daddy
Get off my land!
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[Schultz fills the beer glasses from the tap]
Dr. King Schultz
Despite that cart, I haven't practiced dentistry in five years. But these days, I practice a new profession...
[Schultz grabs the glasses filled with beer and gives a drink to Django]
Dr. King Schultz
Bounty hunter.
[Schultz sits down with his own glass]
Dr. King Schultz
Do you know what a bounty hunter is?
Django
No.
Dr. King Schultz
Well, the way the slave trade deals in human lives for cash, a bounty hunter deals in corpses.
[Schultz clinks his beer glass to Django's]
Dr. King Schultz
Prost!
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz
The state places a bounty on a man's head. I track that man, I find that man, I kill that man.
[pause]
Dr. King Schultz
After I've killed him, I transport that man's corpse back to the authorities. Sometimes that's easier said than done. I show that corpse to the authorities, proving yes, indeed, I truly have killed him, at which point the authorities pay me the bounty. So, like slavery, it's a flesh for cash business.
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Big John Brittle
[preparing to whip Little Jody]
And the Lord said "The fear of ye, and the dread of ye, shall be on every beast of the Earth."
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Leonide Moguy
Yes, Calvin?
Calvin Candie
You make this gentlemen a receipt for $12,000, please.
[Candie stands up and casually examines his cut hand]
Calvin Candie
It was a pleasure doing business with y'all.
[pause]
Calvin Candie
Now gentlemen, if you care to join me in the parlor, we will be serving white cake...
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Calvin Candie
You do not have anything to drink. Can I get you a tasty refreshment?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes! I'll have a beer.
Calvin Candie
Wunderbar. Roscoe, a beer for the man with the beard and I will have a Polynesian Pearl Diver - do not spare the run.
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Calvin Candie
You enjoy that, boy - you've earned it.
Big Fred
Yes, sir.
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Stephen
Hold your fire. Stop shooting, goddammit!
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Bag Head #2
Anybody bring any extra bags?
Unnamed Baghead
No! Nobody brought an extra bag!
Bag Head #2
I'm just askin'!
Unnamed Baghead
Do we have to wear 'em when we ride?
Big Daddy
Well... shitfire! If you don't wear it as you ride up, that just defeats the purpose!
Unnamed Baghead
Well I can't see in this fuckin' thing! I can't breath in this fuckin' thing! And I can't ride in this fuckin' thing!
Willard
Well fuck all y'all, I'm goin' home! You know I watched my wife work all day getting 30 bags together for you ungrateful sons of bitches, and all I can hear is criticize, criticize, criticize! From now on, don't ask me or mine for nuthin!
[rides away]
Big Daddy
Now, look! Let's not forget why we're here. We got to kill a nigger over that hill there. And we gotta make a lesson out of him.
Bag Head #2
Okay, I'm confused. Are the bags on or off?
Unnamed Baghead
I think... we all think... the bag was a nice idea.
[mumbled agreement among others]
Unnamed Baghead
. But... I'm not pointin' any fingers... they coulda been done better. So, how 'bout... no bags this time. But next time, we do the bags right and then we go full regalia.
Big Daddy
Wait a minute! I didn't say no bags.
Bag Head #2
But nobody can see.
Big Daddy
So?
Bag Head #2
So it'd be nice to see.
Big Daddy
God dammit! This is a raid! I can't see, you can't see. So what? All that matters is can the fucking horse see? That's a raid!
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Calvin Candie
Where I part company from many of my phrenologist colleagues is I believe there is a level above bright, above talented, above loyal that a nigger can aspire to. Say, one nigger that just pops up in ten thousand. The exceptional nigger.
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Django
Why you care what happens to me? Why you care if I find my wife?
Dr. King Schultz
Well frankly, I've never given anybody their freedom before. And now that I have, I feel vaguely responsible for you. Plus, when a German meets a real life Sigfried, that's kind of a big deal. As a German, I'm obliged to help you on your quest to rescue your beloved Broomhilda.
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[repeated line]
Dr. King Schultz
You poor devils.
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Dr. King Schultz
Why is he called Eskimo Joe?
Calvin Candie
You never know how these nigger nicknames get started. His name was Joe. Maybe one day he said he was cold? Who knows?
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Dr. King Schultz
What's everybody starring at?
Django
They ain't never seen no nigger on a horse before.
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Django
You want me to play a black slaver? Ain't nothin' lower than the black slaver. A black slaver is lower than the head house nigga, and buddy, that's pretty fuckin' low.
Dr. King Schultz
Then play him that way! Give me *your* black slaver.
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Calvin Candie
Though they may be good in the kitchen... adult supervision is required.
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Stephen
Thank you Stephen, you're welcome Calvin.
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Dr. King Schultz
What's your name?
Django
Django.
Dr. King Schultz
Then you're exactly the one I'm looking for.
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Betina
Dat house we just left from, is the Big House. Big Daddy call it dat cause it's big.
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Dr. King Schultz
He owns the fourth biggest cotton planation in Mississippi: Candyland.
Django
Candyland?
Dr. King Schultz
Oh, so you've heard of it?
Django
Ain't no slave ain't heard of Candyland.
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Calvin Candie
Why would they go through all that trouble for a nigger with a chewed up back, ain't worth three hundred dollars?
Stephen
They're doin' it cause that nigger Django's in love with Hildi. She's probably his wife. Now why that German gives a fuck about who that uppity son-of-a--bitch is in love with, I'm sure I don't know.
Calvin Candie
If she's who they want, why the whole snake oil pitch about Mandingos then?
Stephen
You wouldn't pay no never mind to no three hundred dollar. But twelve thousand - that made you real friendly now, didn't it?
Calvin Candie
Yes, it did. His wife, huh? If there'd been a snake, it would have bit me. Those lyin' goddamn time wastin' sonsabitches! Sonsabitches!
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Django
So, do we offer to buy her?
Dr. King Schultz
So, say a man wants to buy a horse - *needs* to buy a horse. He walks up to the farmer's farm. He knocks on the farmer's door and asks the farmer to buy his horse. And you know what the farmer says? The farmer says: no.
Django
Well, I say, fuck that farmer and I steal that horse.
Dr. King Schultz
Fair enough. But, now you're a horse thief and they hang horse thieves. Not to mention the horse goes back to his original owner because the horse is still his property. We need her *and* we need a bill of sale.
Django
Well, if we ain't gonna try to buy her, how we gonna git her?
Dr. King Schultz
May I offer an alternative plan of action?
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Dr. King Schultz
Don't get so carried away with your retribution. You'll lose sight of why we're here.
Django
You think I lost sight of that?
Dr. King Schultz
Yes, I do! Stop antagonizing Candie. You're going to blow this whole charade or, more than likely, get us both killed. And I, for one, don't intend to die in Chi-cka-saw County, Mississippi, USA.
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Django
We ain't payin' a penny for that pickaninny. We ain't got no use for 'em.
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Calvin Candie
Darlin', you are a tonic for tired eyes.
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Calvin Candie
Gentlemen, may I propose a toast? To Eskimo Joe!
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Jinglebells Cody
Wait a minute, is that Krondon? Million to one?
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Stephen
You ain't gonna get away with this, Django. They gonna catch your black ass. You gonna be on the wanted posters now, nigger. The bounty hunters gonna be looking for you. You can run, nigger, but they gonna find your ass! And when they do, oh, Lord, what they gonna do to your ass. They ain't gonna just kill you, nigger. You done fucked up! This Candieland, nigger. You can't destroy Candieland! We been here! There's always gonna be a Candieland. Can't no nigger gunfighter kill all the white folks in the world! They gonna find your black ass! Django! You uppity son of a...
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Dr. King Schultz
[to Calvin Candie]
Mr. Candie... normally, I would say auf wiedersehen. But since what auf wiedersehen actually means is till I see you again... and since I never wish to see you again, to you, sir... I say, goodbye.
[turns around and faces Django]
Dr. King Schultz
Let's go.
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Dr. King Schultz
Can you please stop playing Beethoven?
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[Giving Django a gun]
The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee
I've just had the sights fixed.
Django
Good to know.
[Shoots them]
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Dr. King Schultz
Mr. Speck, I'm afraid I'll require a bill of sale. Do you have one?
Dicky Speck
You go to Hell, Dentist!
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Calvin Candie
Hello! Stephen, my boy!
Stephen
Yeah yeah yeah! Hello my ass! Who dis nigger up on that nag?
Calvin Candie
Oh, Stephen! You had nails for breakfast? Why are you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?
Stephen
Oh-ho, yes, sir! I... I miss you like a... like a hog miss slop. Like a... like a... a baby miss mama's titty. Hahaha! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Hahahahaaahaha! Now, I axed you: who dis nigger on that nag?
Django
Hey, Snowball! You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me!
Stephen
Who the hell you calling Snowball, horse-boy? I'll snatch your black ass off that nag down here in the mud so fast make your head spin!
Calvin Candie
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here is a freeman.
Stephen
This nigger here?
Calvin Candie
That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this one is another cheeky black bugger like yourself: Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two ought to hate each other.
Stephen
Calvin, just who the hell is this nigger you feels the need to entertain?
Calvin Candie
Django and his friend in grey here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen, and you, you old decrepit bastard, are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?
Stephen
Yes, sir. Him I understand, but I don't know why I got to take lip off this nigger!
Calvin Candie
Well, you don't have to know why! Do you understand?
Stephen
Yes, sir. I... I understand.
Calvin Candie
Well, good. They'll spend the night. Go up in the guest bedrooms and get two ready.
Stephen
He gonna stay in the big house?
Calvin Candie
Stephen, he's a slaver. That's different.
Stephen
In the big house?
Calvin Candie
Well, you got a problem with that?
Stephen
Oooh no no, I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burning the beds, the sheets, the pillowcases and everything else when this black ass motherfucker's gone!
Calvin Candie
Well, that is my problem. They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddam rooms ready!
Stephen
Yes sir, monsieur Candie.
Calvin Candie
Go on now!
Stephen
Can't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the big house! Your daddy rollin' over in his goddam grave right now!
Calvin Candie
The lip on him! Hooh!
Stephen
A nigger in the big house! What kinda shit is that!
Calvin Candie
It's getting worse and worse!
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Calvin Candie
Dr. Shultz, when you were alone with Hildi, did you just speak German or did you get to take her clothes off?
Dr. King Schultz
No, we just talked.
Calvin Candie
So, you haven't seen her back?
Dr. King Schultz
I haven't...
Calvin Candie
No. No, no. Stephen's right. You might find this interesting. Hildi, go on take off your dress, show Dr. Schultz your back here. Go on.
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly
Calvin, I just got her all dressed up and looking nice.
Calvin Candie
But Lara Lee, Dr. Schultz is from Dusseldorf, they don't got niggers there. He's a man of medicine! I'm sure it would fascinate him, the niggers endurance for pain. These niggers are tough, Dr. Schultz, no doubt about it. Hildi's got somethin' like four lashes on her back. If Lara Lee just get one, she'd lose her goddamn mind! Look at that Doctor. It's like a painting. Look at that.
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly
Calvin! Ain't no one wanna see her whipped up back.
Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly
Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine. After dinner then, Stephen. After dinner. During the brandies, gentlemen.
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Sheriff Gus (Snowy Snow)
Why don't cha come in here outta the snowy snow and git yourself some coffee. We had a birthday yesterday and got some *cake*. Purty good.
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Calvin Candie
Mr. Moguy, who was D'Artagnan suppose to fight Friday?
Leonide Moguy
One of this new lot.
Calvin Candie
Well, the way he looks now, a blind Indian wouldn't bet 'a bead on 'em.
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Django
What you said was that, "This is my world. In my world you gotta get dirty." So, that's what I'm doin'. I'm gittin' dirty.
Dr. King Schultz
Well, you're paraphrasing a tad, but, that was the general gist of it.
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Django
You don't wear a hat in the house, white man. Even I know that.
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Calvin Candie
Moguy, I want you to take care of my new boy, here. You find him a room with a soft bed and then you bring him up a pony to lick his pole.
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Calvin Candie
Why do you want to get in the Mandingo business?
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Stephen
They playin your ass for a fool, is what I'm talkin' bout. They ain't here for no muscle bound Jimmie, they here for that girl.
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The LeQuint Dickey Mining Co. Employee
What the *fuck* are you talkin' about?
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Calvin Candie
Now, now, now, now, now. No beggin', no playin' on my soft heart. You in trouble now, son. Now, I done paid five hundred dollars for you. And when I pay five hundred dollars, I expect to get five fights outta a nigga 'fore he roll over and play dead. I done said I'm runnin' a business here. You've fought three fights.
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Calvin Candie
Now, seein' as you won't pay a penny for this pickaninny here, you won't mind me handlin' this nigger however I see fit?
Django
He's your nigga.
Calvin Candie
Mr. Stonesipher, let Marsha and her bitches send D'Artagnan to nigger heaven.
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Dr. King Schultz
Can you convincingly masquerade as someone who's an expert on Mandingo fighting?
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Dr. King Schultz
Oh, Monsieur Candie, about that matter about the nigger girl we were talking about?
Calvin Candie
Nigger gal?
Dr. King Schultz
I believe you mentioned she spoke German?
Calvin Candie
Ah, yes, Hildi, what about her?
Dr. King Schultz
Do you think before the demonstration you could send her to my room?
Calvin Candie
You little Dickens, you. I don't see why not.
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Plantation guard
[during massive shootout] Who gave a nigger a gun?
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