The Big Bang Movie Quotes
Detective Poley
What the fuck's all this got to do with finding the stripper?
Ned Cruz
What the fuck's a busted condom got to do with your birth certificate, Poley? It's just cause and effect.
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Detective Skeres
You're an asshole, Frizer. Roll-it-down asshole. If we've a contest, the world's biggest asshole, you coming second.
Detective Frizer
Yeah? Why not first?
Detective Skeres
'Cause you're an asshole.
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Detective Poley
I am a human lie detector. If you don't tell me the truth, I'll beat it outta you. And love every minute of it.
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Detective Frizer
So, who is the crispy midget?
Ned Cruz
He's Astrophysics, Frizer.
Detective Frizer
Astrophysics.
Ned Cruz
His name is Russell. He's a white dwarf gone supernova.
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Fay Neman
These are the spiral trails left by sub-atomic particles moving through liquid hydrogen in presence of a magnet field.
Ned Cruz
You know, in fact they look familiar.
Fay Neman
You gotta understand, everything behaves like a particle in a wave at the same time until something is actually observed. Because of the same multiple states of reality simultaneously. Then only you actually observe anything, anywhere in the universe, to change it. And if that thing is entangled in a relationship with anything else, it changes still, instantly. And that's faster than a speed of light. But you know what? Nothing's faster than the speed of light. It's real-life magic... and atom. It's made of electrons, protons and neutrons. And protons and neutrons are made up of quarks, and quarks are held together by gluons. And gluons are bosons, and bosons... are elementary particles, which are the fundamental forces of nature.
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Simon Kestral
Dr. Niels Geck. PhD at MIT, age 13. Rogue scholar, age 16. Professor of Departement of Theoretical Physics, University of Geneva, age 20. Chief Physicist at the San Celeritas particle Collider. He's blessed with a neurological disorder. He sees words and numbers as shapes and colors. It's called synesthesia. It's like being born on acid. So he has very rich inner life. I envy him above all others.
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Fay Neman
I mean, you solved everything... and you got the girl and... I got the gecko.
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Detective Poley
You think too much.
Ned Cruz
Compared to you, Poley, so does asparagus.
Detective Poley
Say, that's my favorite fucking vegetable.
[attacks him]
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Fay Neman
And you are here because...?
Ned Cruz
Because... I'm looking for someone who is supposed to exist but nobody has seen.
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Detective Skeres
Why... why! Why the fuck did I let you talk me into this?
Detective Frizer
How about... 30 million dollars worth of 'why'?
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Simon Kestral
27 hours, I'm gonna find something that theoretically should exist but no one has ever seen.
Ned Cruz
Funny. This is exactly what I'm looking for.
Simon Kestral
You know why?
Ned Cruz
Yes, because I'm a private detective and I've been hired to.
Simon Kestral
Because I already know why we're here. I knew it the first time I dropped acid.
Ned Cruz
Really? When was the last time?
Simon Kestral
We are sentient beings, evolved in an infinite universe. An infinite extrapolation of our evolution is to become Gods ourselves. You dig?
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Simon Kestral
If everything there is, from all the heavenly bodies in all the galaxy's still expanding universe, to you and me was one smaller than a single atom, where did all this mass and matter come from?
Ned Cruz
Don't tell me, the God particle.
Simon Kestral
Fucking A! At 7:00 a.m., tomorrow morning, with 5 billion dollars worth off-the-shelf technology, I'm gonna answer the greatest question of all time.
Ned Cruz
Why do men have nipples?
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Simon Kestral
The reason we are here is to find out how we are here. What is the trick? What is the divine mechanism that gives form and substance to all things? Any other questions are waste of fucking time. This is the only worthwhile pursuit in the universe, bro.
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Simon Kestral
Detach yourself, detective.
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Niels Geck
There's just no explaining for, how this universe acquired mass. There's no explanation at all for how, we're here in a physical sense. Unless, unless there is some special, mysterious particle that actually gives mass to... well, everything. In a sense, such a particle must exist, but we've never seen it. It's like love. We know it exists. We can feel it, but we've never seen it.
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Ned Cruz
So, huh... what happens tomorrow?
Niels Geck
Well, we'll recreate the conditions that existed one-trillionth of a second after the Big Bang. Protons will head toward collisions at nearly the speed of light. And quarks and gluons will release enough energy to create the Higgs Boson particle, the God particle. It's unstable, it's fragile. And it will last for less than a one-millionth, of a billionth, of a billionth of a second... before it decays. But we've seen it for the first time in history.
Simon Kestral
Questions?
Ned Cruz
Yeah. The woman who's serving us, she's Hindu, she's dressed in white, and she's mourning. Why?
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Ned Cruz
You okay?
Julie Kestral
No! I dropped the gun.
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Ned Cruz
So... what's the worst that can happen... with a couple of billion worth of off-the-shelf technology, brought it together by imperfect human beings HO here in Mexico?
Niels Geck
A black hole.
Ned Cruz
What was that?
Niels Geck
A black hole. Theoretically, collisions with this much energy, could create a black hole that could swallow the earth. Or... or create strangements that could initiate runaway fusion and turn the planet into a shrunken lump of strange matter.
Ned Cruz
We've got nothing to worry about.
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Simon Kestral
I think you two need to... go away. Do your business. Talk, fuck... whatever. By 7.00 a.m. tomorrow, I'm gonna be on stage... standing next to God... and looking right up his sleeve.
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Ned Cruz
So... what do you think, is gonna happen at 7.00 a.m. tomorrow?
Niels Geck
There are hidden variables, so it's difficult to predict the outcome. But... I think, one way or another, at 7 a.m. tomorrow, Simon Kestral will be close to God.
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Detective Frizer
Lex Parsimoniae. What does it mean?
Ned Cruz
Well, it's the Latin expression for a philosophical concept known as 'Occam's Razor'. In language that Poley can understand, it means... "All things being equal, the simplest solution is the best".
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Ned Cruz
Niels Geck calculated the probability that Anton Protopov would find him. And based on his result, he bought himself a gun.
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Detective Frizer
Who was it? Who crashed the party?
Ned Cruz
Well, that... that... that's simple. The guys who had been shadowing Anton, then tailing me... the guys in the Lincoln Town car. I can describe them. One is a fucking sociopath, who never finished first grade and who nobody likes. Another is a broken down family man, with nothing... nothing to show for his life. And the third guy... wears brown shoes and a black suit because he can't tell the difference between right and wrong.
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Ned Cruz
Who killed Puss?
Detective Frizer
Your client did.
Ned Cruz
Why?
Detective Poley
Guess he was following up on your so-called investigation, didn't like the African-American's personality.
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Ned Cruz
Stop them, Frizer, before they kill again.
Detective Skeres
I didn't kill anybody.
Detective Frizer
Not yet.
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Detective Frizer
See... I like my aftershave. I like the color of my shoes and I like that... at the end of the day, I beat you, Cruz.
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[last lines]
Detective Poley
I fuckin' knew it.
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Ned Cruz
We've all got kinks. All built-in closets where they hide. There is always the fear that someday someone walks into your closet... and switches on the light... and there in the corner is your kink. The most terrible fear of all... is the fear of being exposed.
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Ned Cruz
He's a white dwarf gone supernova.
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Anton 'The Pro' Protopov
I want you should find somebody.
Ned Cruz
You've specific person in mind or will just anybody do?
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Ned Cruz
Three days later, they find Skinny Faddeev in the kitchen at Prostranstva. And... it's hard to tell the difference between the former Master and the Borscht.
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Detective Frizer
Tell us everything you did, everything you know and tell us now.
Ned Cruz
Or else what? Poley is gonna hit me? It may get my sight back.
Detective Poley
Anything that helps, yeah.
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Puss
Allright, cum for chrissakes!
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Ned Cruz
The "Ouroboros" is what Plato described as the first living thing in the universe. An immortal, perfect creature. A serpent eating itself, swallowing its own tail. Everything has meaning.
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Drummer
Just remember: love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. Cupid is blind.
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Julie Kestral
Close your eyes... and I will show you my secrets. You gonna love me... without shame or fear. Your search ends with me. I am missing person... of your heart. Your one... true love.
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Detective Poley
Remember: I can read your mind.
Ned Cruz
You couldn't read even a picture book.
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Detective Poley
Tick... buried, tock... buried.
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Simon Kestral
You're in a 8-mile long circular tunnel, 300 feet below San Celeritas. And 27 hours from now 8 Magnet-Assembly storing 10 GigaJoules of energy, will guide two proton beams fired simultaneously in a semi-circular path towards each other, at 99.999% of the speed of light, and they'll collide right in there.
Ned Cruz
Whoa.
Simon Kestral
To recreate conditions of 3/8th of a second after The Big Bang. The beginning of the universe... 13 billion years ago. Questions? Preguntas?
Ned Cruz
'What the fuck for', comes to mind.
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Detective Frizer
By the way, he'll hurt you.
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Ned Cruz
But it was you guys, you all along!
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Detective Poley
He's doing it again. You wily fucking Duke. Quit t-t-t-thinking. Quit stalling. Can we do this my way?
Ned Cruz
Okay, Poley but tell Frizer to get down when I start to shave skin...
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Ned Cruz
Do you like Adam Nova?
Detective Skeres
The actor?
Ned Cruz
Yeah.
Detective Skeres
He's alright. I guess he makes an honest buck.
Ned Cruz
Try 20 million per picture and 20 percent junk off the back-end. One of the highest paid movie stars in history and I have to tell him... that it's all over.
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