The Decoy Bride Movie Quotes
Katie Nic Aoidh
And you're back of Hegg now because...?
James Arber
Oh, I'm on a sheep-stealing raid, yeah. I mean, I thought I might grab myself a woman at the same time, but predominantly it's a sheep-snatching thing.
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James Arber
You don't live here?
Katie Nic Aoidh
Not in this toilet, no. Here we live in primitive dwellings anthropologists like to call "houses."
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Katie Nic Aoidh
Good. I don't want to meet him. He sounds like a twat. Anyway, I'm like Kryptonite to men. Kryptonite dipped in cellulite.
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James Arber
I've been trying to get your attention with conventional weapons: phones, emails, that sort of thing.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
A guidebook to here? Don't be mad. "Come see our disused toilet that may or may not be haunted by the ghost of a drowned cow."
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Angus
I wanted to grow old with you. You're beautiful and clever now - it's easy to love you now - but I'll still love you when the wind's dried you out, and when you're old and broken.
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Reverend McDonagh
When God made time, he made plenty of it. When God made twine, he made balls of it.
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James Arber
They say "Write about what you know;" so, obviously, I set it against the backdrop of the Spanish Civil War.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
What's this nameless new book of yours about, then... if it exists?
James Arber
It's about the end of the world as seen through the eyes of God.
Katie Nic Aoidh
Oh, dear. Did no one tell you to write about what you know?
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Katie Nic Aoidh
This is where you tell me I'm just one chapter, not a whole book.
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James Arber
You know, they asked 10,000 men to name their ideal partner and 9,800 said Lara. Statistically that includes at least 800 gay men. If you're male and Lara Tyler's interested in you, she's the one; it's kind of a rule. You can't be happy with Lara Tyler, you can't be happy with anyone.
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Iseabail Nic Aoidh
I've got to get out of here, Katie. I've never been anywhere, and I want to see the world, overdose on daiquiris and be thrown into a volcano, but you need money for that.
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Lara Tyler
You are ruining my life!
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Katie Nic Aoidh
How do you know when you've met *the one*?
James Arber
Whenever you look at them, you find yourself singing "Wind Beneath My Wings".
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Katie Nic Aoidh
Nobody's going to buy a guidebook to Hegg unless it's cheaper than our toilet paper.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
She is not putting toilet cleaner in my hair.
Steve Korbitz
Don't be a diva.
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Iseabail Nic Aoidh
Do you like him?
Katie Nic Aoidh
He's an emotionally retarded arty boy who's in love with another woman. Of course I like him.
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Steve Korbitz
Yeah, well, I'm full of shit. My last colonic took a week.
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James Arber
Lemme tell ya, for a honey trap to work, there needs to be honey.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
It's cruel to give the servants names, isn't it? Don't want to get too attached to them.
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James Arber
Griddled Puffin? On a Friday?
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Charley
I've just been kicked in the face by the most beautiful woman in the world who is now walking around outside dressed as my old boarding school matron. I will pay 200 grand for that cover shot. Go and get it.
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Muireen
To my wife. A chapter can be a book.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
For someone in marketing you're not very good at lying.
James Arber
I'm still quite junior.
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Lara Tyler
Now, sweetie, I may look like a simple, cake-baking, small-town mom, but inside I am a prize fighter, and I will not rest while there is a single rod of depleted uranium anywhere in South Carolina.
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Katie Nic Aoidh
But I don't look anything like Lara Tyler.
Steve Korbitz
That's true, but neither does she until these ladies get their hands on her.
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Marco Ballani
"I am a cavern of longingness." Is that good English?
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Marco Ballani
Where do these stupid people kiss?
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