Dirk
What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.
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Floyd Gondolli
I'm not a complicated man. I like cinema. In particular, I like to see people fucking on film. But, I don't want to win an Oscar and I don't want to re-invent the wheel. I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass and lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy. Call me crazy, call me a pervert. But, there's one little thing that I'm going to do in this life, and that is: I'm going to make a dollar and a cent in this business.
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Dirk
You're not the boss of me, Jack. You're not the king of Dirk. I'm the boss of me. I'm the king of me. I'm Dirk Diggler. I'm the star. It's my big dick and I say when we roll.
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Kurt Longjohn
Little Bill.
Little Bill
Hey. Kurt. What's up?
Kurt Longjohn
What's wrong with you?
Little Bill
Ah... my fuckin' wife, man, she's over there... she's got some idiot's dick in her, people standing around watching - it's a fuckin' embarassment.
Kurt Longjohn
Yeah. Yeah. I know. Anyway, listen...
Little Bill
Yeah?
Kurt Longjohn
For the shoot - I wanna talk about the look. I wanted to see about getting this new zoom lens...
Little Bill
Right.
Kurt Longjohn
I wondered if we'd be able to look into getting some more lights, too, y'know...
Little Bill
Jack wants a minimal thing...
Kurt Longjohn
Right, well, very often, minimal means a lot more photographically than I think, well... than I think most people understand...
Little Bill
I understand.
Kurt Longjohn
No, no. Hey. I know you understand, I was talking about some other people.
Little Bill
Well, I think what Jack is talking about is minimal, not really "natural", but minimal...
Kurt Longjohn
Okay... fine... I was just saying...
Little Bill
I understand...
Kurt Longjohn
'Cause I'm trying to give each picture it's own look...
Little Bill
Can we talk about this later?
Kurt Longjohn
Oh, yeah... you have to go somewhere... or...?
Little Bill
Well, no, yeah... I mean...
Kurt Longjohn
'Cause I was hoping to, y'know, for the shoot tomorrow, we could send Rocky down and he could pick it up...
Little Bill
Kurt.
Kurt Longjohn
No. Hey. Gotcha. You've gotta go somewhere so - hey - what the fuck? It's only the fucking photography of the movie we're talking about.
Little Bill
My fucking wife has an ass in her cock over in the driveway, alright? I'm sorry if my thoughts aren't with the photography of the film we're shooting tomorrow, Kurt, OK?
Kurt Longjohn
OK. No big deal. Sorry.
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[in a scene from "Brock Landers: Angels Live In My Town"]
Jessie St. Vincent
Starving.
[unzipping his pants]
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[takes off Dirk's pants]
Amber Waves
This is a giant cock.
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[Both women are high on coke]
Rollergirl
Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom?
Amber Waves
Yes, sweetie.
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Reed Rothchild
Want to hear a poem I wrote? "I love you, you love me. Going down the sugar tree. We'll go down the sugar tree, and see lots of bees: playing, playing. But the bees won't sting, because you love me." That's it.
Dirk
That's fuckin' great man! Did you write that?
Reed Rothchild
Yeah. I write songs too.
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Dirk
Are you gonna take your skates off?
Rollergirl
I don't take my skates off. And don't fuckin' come in me.
Dirk
Okay.
Jack Horner
Aim it at her tits.
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Eddie Adams
I was thinkin' about what the Colonel was sayin' about my name.
Jack Horner
Uh-huh.
Eddie Adams
I was just wonderin' if you had any ideas.
Jack Horner
I had some thoughts on it, yeah. What about you? What do you think?
Eddie Adams
Well, my idea was, y'know, I just want a name, I want it so it could cut glass, y'know, like razor sharp.
Jack Horner
Razor sharp, right.
Eddie Adams
Yeah. Well, when I close my eyes, I see this thing. It's like this big sign. And the name is in like bright blue neon lights with like purple outline. And this name is just so bright and so sharp that the sign - it just blows up because the name is so just. powerful. - - It says: "Dirk Diggler."
Jack Horner
I think - I think heaven has sent you here - Dirk Diggler. I think the angels have blessed us all because of you.
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[Little Bill discovers his wife having sex surrounded by a throng of spectators]
Little Bill
What the fuck are you doing?
Little Bill's wife
Go away, Bill, you're embarrassing me.
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Buck Swope
You see this - this is Hi-Fi. Okay? High Fidelity. You know what that means? That means this is the highest quality fidelity. Hi-Fi. Those are two very important things to have in a stereo system.
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Reed Rothchild
Hey, did you ever see that movie: Star Wars?
Dirk
Oh, about four times.
Reed Rothchild
People tell me I look like Han Solo.
Dirk
Really?
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Jack Horner
Do these characters have a name?
Dirk
The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild
And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner
Those are some great names.
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Young Stud
[sobbing]
This is TWICE in two days that a chick has OD'd on me!
Colonel James
[rapidly]
Well, do you think this means that maybe ya oughta think about getting some new shit? Whaddya ya think?
Young Stud
[contritely]
Yes, sir.
Colonel James
Ah.
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Jack Horner
Where are you going?
Becky Barnett
I gotta go wash my vagina.
Jack Horner
How long will you be?
Becky Barnett
Two seconds. You want it clean, don't you?
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Jack Horner
We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.
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Todd Parker
We're not leaving yet. We're here now, and we want something else from you. Hey... hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! We want something else from you.
Rahad Jackson
What?
Dirk
Todd, what the hell are you doing, man? Let's just go.
Todd Parker
In the master bedroom... under the bed... in a floor safe. Understand?
Dirk
What the fuck is the matter with you, Todd? Let's go! Come on, man!
Reed Rothchild
Todd!
Todd Parker
Shut up, Dirk. I t... I told you I got a plan. I got a very good plan.
Rahad Jackson
Are you - are you kidding me, kitty?
Todd Parker
Nah, I'm not, see? I'm not kidding. I want what's in the safe! We want what is in the goddamn safe, in the goddamn master bedroom on the fuckin' floor in the goddamn fuckin' floor safe, that's all!
Dirk
Todd, don't be crazy, okay?
[to Rahad:]
Dirk
Sir, we don't know anything about this, okay? This is not at all what we wanted.
Todd Parker
Shut the fuck up, Dirk.
[to Rahad's bodyguard:]
Todd Parker
Do not reach for your gun, man, don't reach for your gun!
[Todd pulls out his gun and aims it at the bodyguard, Rahad shoots Todd in the shoulder, before fleeing to his bedroom, laughing maniacally; Dirk and Reed take cover as the bodyguard pulls out two pistols and starts firing at them, Todd then shoots the bodyguard]
Todd Parker
He went in the bedroom!
Dirk
Todd, what the fuck are you doin'?
Todd Parker
He went in the bedroom!
Dirk
Todd, what the fuck? Did you go crazy?
Todd Parker
He's got coke and he's got cash in that safe, in that bedroom and if we leave here without it, man, we're fuckin' idiots, man! We came here to motherfuckin' do something and we can fucking do it, alright? Are you with me?
Reed Rothchild
Todd, listen to me! Let's just split, man! Let's just split, right? This was not the thing! This was not supposed to be the thing, Todd!
Todd Parker
That's what we goddamn came here to motherfuckin' do, and that's what I'm gonna fuckin' do right fuckin' now!
Dirk
Fuck, no! Don't, don't! Don't be fucking stupid!
Rahad Jackson
[Todd kicks down the door and is shot in the chest with a shotgun by Rahad]
Come on, you puppies!
[Rahad racks his shotgun and fires at Dirk and Reed]
Rahad Jackson
It's comin' down for puppies!
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Colonel James
I'm looking forward to seeing you in action. Jack says you've got a great big cock.
Eddie Adams
Well, I don't know, I guess so.
Colonel James
May I see it?
Eddie Adams
Really?
Colonel James
Please!
[stares as Eddie lowers his shorts]
Colonel James
Thank you, Eddie!
Eddie Adams
No problem.
[the Colonel continues to stare as Eddie walks away]
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Dirk
I wanna fuck. It's my fucking big dick. Who wants to fuck?
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Floyd Gondolli
The Colonel's got the money. You've got the talent, Jack. I've got the connection to the equipment and the mail order distribution, not to mention those kids out-there, who are hot-fuck-action to the max, Jack. This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth.
Jack Horner
Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? And it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, that's why I will *never* make a movie on videotape.
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[last lines]
Dirk
[practicing his lines in the mirror]
I've been around this block twice now. Looking for something. A clue. I've been looking for clues and something led me back here. Yeah. So here I am. It could have been me, the one who was at Ringo's place when the shit went down. Hey. I know how it is. I've been there. We've all done bad things. We've all had those guilty feelings in our heart. I'm going to take your brain out of your head and wash it and scrub it and make it clean. I don't know. But I'm going to have to settle this. First we're going to check the hole and see what we can find. We're going to get nice and wet, and you're going to spread your legs. Oh, that's good. So you know me. You know my reputation. Thirteen inches of tough load, I don't treat you gently. That's right. I'm Brock Landers. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice. So I'm going to be nice, I'm going to ask you one more time. Where the fuck is Ringo?
Dirk
[he stands, unzips his pants and pulls out his penis]
I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right.
[he rezips his pants]
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[Little Bill walks in on his wife having sex with someone]
Little Bill
What the fuck are you doing?
Little Bill's wife
What the fuck does it look like I'm doing?
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[the Colonel's young lady friend is lying on the floor, her nose bleeding profusely]
Young Stud
[wailing]
I - I think she did too much coke.
Colonel James
Oh, you think so, doctor?
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Dirk
Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer
No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk
In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild
Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk
Hello? Exactly.
Record Producer
That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it.
Reed Rothchild
Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man.
Dirk
Let me explain to him in simple arithmetic. One, two three! Because you don't fuckin' get it, Burt! You give us the tapes. We get the record contract. We come back and give you your fuckin' money. Have you heard the tapes? Have you even heard them? We're guaranteed a record deal. Our stuff is that good!
Record Producer
Now I get it. Now I understand. You want it to happen... but it's not going to happen. Because it's a Catch-22.
Dirk
What the fuck does that mean? What is a Catch-22, Burt?
Record Producer
Catch-22, gentleman. Think about it.
[pause]
Dirk
You know what I'm thinking about, man? I'm thinking about kicking some fuckin' ass!
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Scotty
[after coming on to Dirk]
I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot...
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Rollergirl
You don't ever disrespect me. FUCKER! YOU NEVER DISRESPECT ME, YOU FUCKER!
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Eddie Adams
[Eddie has returned home after auditioning for Jack all night, his mother is up and waiting for him in the living room, drunk]
Hi.
Dirk's Mother
Where were you?
Eddie Adams
Eddie Adams, Dirk's Mother: Nowhere.
Dirk's Mother
Shut up. Where were you?
[puts out her cigarette]
Dirk's Mother
Did you see that little slut girl you see? Cheryl? Cheryl Lynn?
Eddie Adams
Don't say that.
Dirk's Mother
Do you feel like a stud to see trash like that? Is she your girlfriend?
Eddie Adams
No, she's not my girlfriend.
Dirk's Mother
She's a little whore, and a little piece of trash. And I know you're not the only one she sees.
Eddie Adams
Why... why would you say something like that?
Dirk's Mother
I heard things about her, that girl. Don't think I don't know what goes on here, when I'm not here. I wash your sheets, I know she's been here. Or, or are you doing something else in there, with your music and your posters on the wall?
Eddie Adams
What is your problem?
Dirk's Mother
OK, all right, fine. Just go. Go to that little whore Cheryl. Why don't you just go to her. Go to your little girl.
Eddie Adams
Yeah? Well, maybe I will.
[heads to his room]
Dirk's Mother
Yeah?
Eddie Adams
Yeah!
Dirk's Mother
Yeah? Well, what are you going to do?
[she gets up and follows him]
Eddie Adams
I don't know! I'll do somethin'!
Dirk's Mother
You can't do anything! You're a loser! You'll always be a loser! You couldn't even finish high school because you are so stupid! So what are you gonna do?
Eddie Adams
I'm gonna do something! I'll do it! You know what, I'll go somewhere and do something, and maybe run away to where you can't find me!
Dirk's Mother
Oh, go ahead... fuck that little girl!
[Eddie grabs a duffel bag and begins to fill it with his belongings]
Dirk's Mother
Oh, what do you think you're doing?
Eddie Adams
I'm gettin' my stuff!
Dirk's Mother
Oh, you think that's your stuff? That's not your stuff! You didn't pay for it!
[grabs Eddie's face and squeezes it hard]
Dirk's Mother
That is not your stuff because you didn't pay for it, stupid! None of this is yours!
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Jack Horner
[can't accept that video is replacing 35mm film]
You know, if it looks like shit... and it sounds like shit, then it must be *shit!*
Floyd Gondolli
You're holding on too tight, Jack. It doesn't have to look good.
[shakes his head]
Floyd Gondolli
Film is just too damn expensive. And the theaters are already converting to video projectors.
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Dirk
It's okay to come?
Amber Waves
Are you ready to come?
Dirk
Yeah.
Amber Waves
Come in me.
Dirk
What?
Amber Waves
I'm fixed. I want you to come in me.
Dirk
Okay.
[moans and climaxes]
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Jack Horner
What?
Dirk
Well, if you just wanna see me jack off, it's ten. But if you just wanna look at it, it's only five.
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[just before they start filming Dirk's first movie]
Dirk
Does he want me to keep going until I cum?
Amber Waves
Yeah. You just cum when you're ready.
Dirk
Where should I do it?
Amber Waves
Where do you want?
Dirk
Wherever you tell me.
Amber Waves
Well, cum on my tits, if you can, okay? Just pull it out and do it on my stomach and my tits, if you can.
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[the Colonel James is in jail after being arrested for cocaine possession and attempted statutory rape]
Colonel James
They found something else.
Jack Horner
What?
Colonel James
Well... it's just... they're so cute when they're so young like that...
Jack Horner
Ah, Jesus...
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Jack Horner
[re his new inordinately well-built stud]
I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.
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[Rollergirl scratches her crotch]
Amber Waves
What's the matter down there?
Rollergirl
I gotta go pee.
Amber Waves
Well, go then.
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[his one word prediction for the future of the porn industry]
Floyd Gondolli
Videotape.
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Rollergirl
[to Amber in a documentary about Dirk]
He can fuck really hard or he can fuck really gently. He's the best.
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Amber Waves
[screams]
Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things.
Rollergirl
Okay.
Amber Waves
Let's go walk.
[sniffs]
Rollergirl
I don't want to leave this room.
Rollergirl
I love you, Mom!
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Little Bill
[while shooting a scene, Dirk ejaculated inside Amber]
We missed the cum shot. He came inside her. Maybe we could go to stock footage, or...
Jack Horner
Are you crazy? It won't match!
Dirk
Jack? I can do it again if you need a closeup.
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Jack Horner
You know this is the film I want them to remember me by.
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Jack Horner
Don't just ram it in there like that, this is not a hole in the wall pal, it's Rollergirl.
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Rahad Jackson
Oh, that's Cosmo... he's Chinese.
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Dirk
Don't you fucking call me a kid!
Jack Horner
What?
Dirk
What the fuck, if you wanna see me kick some ass, I know fucking karate! You wanna fuck with me?
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Buck Swope
You're not being fair. This isn't fair.
Loan Officer
This financial institution cannot endorse pornography.
Buck Swope
Stop saying pornography! Why are you doing this to me? I am an actor. I am an actor.
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Dirk
No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.
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Jack Horner
So what I'm trying to tell you, Eddie, is that it takes a *lot* of good old American *green* stuff to make one of these things, you know what I mean?
[sighs]
Jack Horner
I mean, you know, you got your camera, you got your film, you got your lights, you got your sound, you got your lab costs, you got the developing, you got your syncing, you got your editing. Before you turn around, you've spent maybe twenty, twenty-five... thirty thousand dollars on a movie.
Jack Horner
You bet your ass it is.
[nods]
Jack Horner
But if you make a good one, there's practically no end to how much money you could make.
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Rollergirl
That shirt's pretty sexy too.
Dirk
Well, yeah, this is like - um - imported Italian nylon. And its like a special edition, limited silk print. And it was done by this really famous - um - design artist, from Italy.
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Reed Rothchild
TODD... PARKER!
Todd Parker
Rockin' Reed Rothchild!
Reed Rothchild
You made it! Woo-Hoo!
Todd Parker
Amazing party, man! Fuckin' chicks everywhere!
Reed Rothchild
You bet. Compliments of Jack Horner. Thank you.
Todd Parker
I wouldn't mind me having a piece of that action right over there.
Reed Rothchild
Michelle... I'll introduce you.
Todd Parker
Sure, introduce her to my lap!
Reed Rothchild
Ha ha. You just get off of work, man?
Todd Parker
Don't dance Sunday nights.
Reed Rothchild
Right.
Todd Parker
Who's 'vette is that out in the driveway?
Reed Rothchild
DIRK! I'm so jealous.
Todd Parker
That shit's jammin', man.
Todd Parker
Start down low with a 350 cube, three and a quarter horsepower, 4-speed, 4:10 gears, ten coats of competition orange, hand-rubbed lacquer with a dual-plane manifold,
Todd Parker
Full fuckin' race cams. Whoo!
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Rahad Jackson
You want somethin' to drink? A little pill, a little coke, a little dope? I got everything!
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Jack Horner
I don't wanna make a film where they show up, they sit down and jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea, to make a film that the story just sucks them in and when they spurt out that joy juice, they just gotta sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends. You know, I wanna make a film like that.
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Becky Barnett
It sounds like your bosses at the stereo store are saying the same thing.
Buck Swope
What?
Becky Barnett
YOU HAVE TO GET A NEW LOOK!
Buck Swope
What? You get a new look.
Becky Barnett
I have a look alright. The look I have is just fine.
Buck Swope
What's your look?
Becky Barnett
Chocolate love 100%. You don't have to lash out like that Buck, I'm just trying to be your friend.
Buck Swope
Drop it Becky.
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Reed Rothchild
Nobody fucks with Chest and Brock!
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Jessie St. Vincent
He's kicking ass inside my stomach.
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Dirk
You know, I'm gonna be a great big bright, shining star.
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Little Bill's wife
Don't stop, Big Stud!
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Jack Horner
He's my 17-year-old piece of gold.
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[Reed and Buck discuss a magic trick in a loud and crowded night club]
Buck Swope
Doesn't it scare you dealing with all those evil forces?
Reed Rothchild
Evil horses?
Buck Swope
Evil forces.
Reed Rothchild
Evil? No man, it's not evil. It's an illusion.
Buck Swope
Yeah, yeah, it's confusing.
[Reed looks confused and smiles]
Reed Rothchild
Thank you.
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Joe
[as Dirk is in his truck and trying to rub his penis to get an erection] Come on!
Dirk
[Dirk stops] I can't! I can't get it hard, right? I can't. I'm sorry!
[another truck suddenly pulls up with a group of guys]
Joe
You just shouldn't do this sort of thing, you faggot!
[punches Dirk]
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Buck Swope
So basically, you're gettin' twice the bass, with the TK421 of which we got available in this system right here.
Stereo Customer
I don't know. I don't really know if I need all that bass.
Buck Swope
Oh, I think you need all that bass.
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Reed Rothchild
I have other interests. I'm a magician.
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Dirk
I'm ready to shoot RIGHT NOW.
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Jack Horner
I don't want it loud, I want it mellow. Mellow!
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Maurice
I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me.
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Reed Rothchild
You fuck like a champ! You rock!
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Dirk
You feel so good, Amber.
Amber Waves
Are you ready to cum?
Dirk
Yeah.
Amber Waves
Cum in me.
Dirk
What?
Amber Waves
Don't worry, I'm fixed. I want you to cum in me. Okay.
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Dirk
[Eddie/Dirk and his mother are having a heated argument in his bedroom as she's destroying his posters]
Don't do that!
[hysterical]
Dirk
Why the fuck do you keep doing that?
Dirk's Mother
[screaming]
You're not gonna be shit because you're too stupid!
Dirk
I'm not stupid!
Dirk's Mother
Yes you are!
[crying]
Dirk
Please don't be mean to me!
Dirk's Mother
I am not being mean to you! You're just too stupid to see it!
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Buck Swope
I was sayin' that I love sunsets.
Jessie St. Vincent
But, sunrises are better.
Buck Swope
Exactly!
Jessie St. Vincent
I - I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
Buck Swope
No, I feel that way!
Jessie St. Vincent
Really?
Buck Swope
Yes, really!
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Dirk
Blocking an idea or a movement, you know. Jack will put the final touches together for what the camera needs for editing and stuff, but, um, you know, he allows me to block my own sex scenes, and, you know, give me the freedom to develop the character and stuff like that. God, I don't know any other, you know, director who would let an actor, you know, do that. You know?
Jack Horner
I don't allow him to block his own sex scenes.
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Jack Horner
So, now you know I'm not full of - doggie do do.
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Little Bill
The set up is - okay, here we go. One, Amber talking to Becky. They make a telephone call to the agents to send over some actors. Two. Enter Reed to audition for Amber. They go at it, Becky watches. Three. Becky goes to the bathroom to jack off, she gets interrupted by Amber, they go at it. Four. Who's Dirk - Dirk Diggler?
Jack Horner
Yeah, that's that new good-lookin' kid - Eddie at the club.
Little Bill
Good name. Anyway, enter Dirk, he meets Becky, they go at it.
Jack Horner
No, change that, will you. I want Eddie to be auditioning for Amber.
Little Bill
Got it.
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performer picked up on the street
[the limo pulled to the curb, and he has to get out] I can't fucking believe this! Jesus Christ, you gave me a hard-on, the least you can do is jack me off or something!
Rollergirl
What the fuck did you say?
performer picked up on the street
I said it's not that cool leaving me with a hard-on, okay?
Rollergirl
Fuck you!
performer picked up on the street
[pulls up his pants] I'm fucking getting out of this! This is a fine life you've made for yourself! You really should be proud! I mean, you're like... Yeah, *fuck you!*
[as he gets out, sneers at Jack:]
performer picked up on the street
And your films suck now, anyway!
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Jack Horner
You can work out in the morning. You can work out at noon. You can work out at night. It doesn't matter, if you don't have those juices flowing down there in Mr. Torpedo area - in the fun zone.
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Jack Horner
Good night, Honey-Tits. Sleep beautiful.
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Buck's Manager
You put on that country and western shit and no ones going to buy a stereo. What kind of a brother are you anyway, huh? Listening to that shit.
Buck Swope
All right, look Jerry...
Buck's Manager
No, no, no, no. You look. I gave you a job here because, you know, I thought your acting stuff might bring some nice pussy into the place. And it has. But, I can't have any more fuck ups. You dig?
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Buck Swope
Still a little uncertain, aren't you? Yeah. You know what you need? You need a test drive. That's what you need. You need a test drive. I mean, it's one thing to hear it from Buck's mouth, it's another thing to hear it from the TX421. So, lemme just pop in this eight track and you just give a listen and tell me what you think. Okay? Whoa! You hear that? You hear the bass? Right? You hear it? It kicks. It - it - it turns. It curls up your belly. It makes you wanna freaky-deaky, right?
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Dirk
Hey, I want you to know, I plan on being a star. A big, bright shining star. That's what I want. That's what I'm gonna get.
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Jack Horner
It takes a lot of the good 'ol American green stuff to make one of these things. You know what I mean? I mean, you know, you got your camera, you got your film, you got your lights, you got your sound, you got your lab costs, you got your developing, you got your synching, you got your editing, before you turn around, you spend around twenty - twenty-five - thirty thousand dollars on a movie.
Dirk
That's a lot of money.
Jack Horner
You bet your ass it is. But, if you make a good one, there's practically no end to how much money you can make.
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Sheryl Lynn
Your cock is so beautiful.
Dirk
Yeah?
Sheryl Lynn
Do you know how good you are, Eddie? Having sex? Fucking me? Making love to me?
Dirk
Everyone has one thing, you think? I mean, everyone's given one special thing, right?
Sheryl Lynn
That's right.
Dirk
Everyone's blessed with one special thing.
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Scotty
You look really good.
Dirk
Why, thank you.
Scotty
And you look really sexy.
Dirk
Thanks!
Scotty
Yeah.
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Amber Waves
Fuckin' 1980. Can you believe it?
Dirk
I can't. It's like, the next thing you know it's like 1990 and 2000. Can you imagine?
Amber Waves
Goodbye 1979. Hello 1980. Okay. Make sure you snort it back, real quick - and hard.
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Rollergirl
Why do I love him? Ah. He's very special! And he can fuck hard and he can fuck like really gently. He's the best!
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Floyd Gondolli
So let's talk about the future. So let's talk about what video means to this industry - and let's talk about how all of us - not one of us - but all of us are going to profit.
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Jerome
As far as I'm concerned, it's all about love. You know what I mean? If you love someone, how hard can the world be. I mean, people will come and they will go and so will problems. But, ultimately, if you have got love on your side and it is just - I mean - it is just deep down in your soul, what's a problem going to be that takes your attention away from that? You understand?
Becky Barnett
I'm Becky Barnett.
Jerome
I'm Jerome.
Becky Barnett
Nice to meet you.
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Dirk
I've gotten thousands upon thousands of letters, you know, from people telling me, "God, you've taught me this and you've made our love life so much better." And this isn't, you know, go out and have sex with ten million people and, you know, how to get a girl off. It's about how to get your wife off. You know, if only, you know, people could have been doing this before, we could have a million relationships. You know, I've saved thousands.
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Dirk
[interviewed]
It's jealousy, it's deceitfulness, it's vindictiveness... it's all that stuff, you know. But, I mean, God! what can you expect when you're on top, you know? It's like
[shakes his head]
Dirk
Napoleon when he was the king, you know, people would just constantly try to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire, so it's ...
[shakes his head]
Dirk
Europe history repeating itself all over again. To all the critics out there, you know, I know they're gonna be rude reading this, and I know they're gonna try to knock me. I just want them to know - Is it okay if I say this into the camera, Amber? Okay - I only am who I am because I was born that way. I have a gift and I am trying to not be selfish about it, but to use it. Okay? And if you wanna knock me for that, it's your own problem. Okay? Jealousy will get you nowhere.
[nods emphatically]
Dirk
I'm gonna keep rockin' on!
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Rahad Jackson
I love this. I make these little mix tapes together. You know, I put all my favorite songs together. Hey Cosmo, what number is this? Number - number eleven, yeah. I love it. When you buy a tape or something or an album, you know, you put it on and the songs are - the band put the songs in some fuckin' order like they want you to listen to it in that order. You know, I hate that. I fuckin' hate that. I don't like to be told what to listen to, when to listen to it or anything! Fuck.
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Jack Horner
I'm not going to shoot you in the state you're in.
Dirk
What do you mean state? State? State of California? I know where the fuck I am, Jack.
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Dirk
[to his mother]
You don't know what I can do! You don't know what I can do, what I'm gonna do, or what I'm gonna be! You don't know I'm good! I have good things that you don't know about! I'm gonna be something! I am! And don't fucking tell me I'm not!
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Jack Horner
You sure you don't want a Fresca?
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Dirk
Is everything cool?
Little Bill
It's going great. We just got to change the angle.
Dirk
Does it - look sexy?
Little Bill
Oh, it's great!
Amber Waves
You're doing so good Dirk.
Dirk
Does it feel good?
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