Andy SachsNo... No, no, nothing's... you know, it's just... both those belts look exactly the same to me. You know, I'm still learning about this stuff and, uh...
Miranda Priestly"This stuff"? Oh. Okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You go to your closet and you select, I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent, wasn't it, who showed cerulean military jackets?
Miranda PriestlyAnd then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores, and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs. And it's sort of comical how you think that you've made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you're wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room... from a pile of "stuff".
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Miranda Priestly[errand girl Andy's late]Is there some reason that my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?
NigelAnd that's my problem because... Oh, wait. No, it's not my problem.
Andy SachsI don't know what else I can do because if I do something right, it's unacknowledged. She doesn't even say thank you. But if I do something wrong, she is vicious.
NigelI can get another girl to take your job in five minutes... one who really wants it.
Andy SachsNo, I don't want to quit. That's not fair. But, I, you know, I'm just saying that I would just like a little credit... for the fact that I'm killing myself trying.
NigelAndy, be serious. You are not trying. You are whining. What is it that you want me to say to you, huh? Do you want me to say, "Poor you. Miranda's picking on you. Poor you. Poor Andy"? Hmm? Wake up, six. She's just doing her job. Don't you know that you are working at the place that published some of the greatest artists of the century? Halston, Lagerfeld, de la Renta. And what they did, what they created was greater than art because you live your life in it. Well, not you, obviously, but some people. You think this is just a magazine, hmm? This is not just a magazine. This is a shining beacon of hope for... oh, I don't know... let's say a young boy growing up in Rhode Island with six brothers, pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going to sewing class and reading Runway under the covers at night with a flashlight. You have no idea how many legends have walked these halls. And what's worse, you don't care. Because this place, where so many people would die to work, you only deign to work. And you want to know why she doesn't kiss you on the forehead and give you a gold star on your homework at the end of the day. Wake up, sweetheart.
EmilyReally? It's for Paris, I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.
Miranda PriestlyBy all means move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.
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Miranda PriestlyYou thought I didn't know. I've known what was happening for quite some time. It just took me a little while to find a suitable alternative for Jacqueline. And that James Holt job was just so absurdly overpaid that of course she jumped at it. So I just had to tell Irv that Jacqueline was unavailable. Truth is, there's no one that can do what I do. Including her. Any of the other choices would have found that job impossible and the magazine would have suffered. Especially because of the list. The list of designers, photographers, editors, writers, models, all of whom were found by me, nurtured by me and have promised me they will follow me whenever and if ever I choose to leave Runway. So he reconsidered. But I was very very impressed by how intently you tried to warn me. I never thought I would say this, Andrea, but I really, I see a great deal of myself in you. You can see beyond what people want, and what they need and you can choose for yourself.
Andy SachsI don't think I'm like that. I couldn't do what you did to Nigel, Miranda. I couldn't do something like that.
Andy SachsThat's not what I... no, that was different. I didn't have a choice.
Miranda PriestlyNo, no, you chose. You chose to get ahead. You want this life. Those choices are necessary.
Andy SachsBut what if this isn't what I want? I mean what if I don't wanna live the way you live?
Miranda PriestlyOh, don't be ridiculous. Andrea. Everybody wants this. Everybody wants to be us.
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NigelLet me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. Means it's time for a promotion.
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Emily[to Andy]You sold your soul to the devil when you put on your first pair of Jimmy Choos, I saw it.
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Andy SachsLearned a lot. In the end though, I kind of screwed it up.
EditorI called over there for a reference, left word with some snooty girl. Next thing you know, I got a fax from Miranda Priestly herself... saying that of all the assistants she's ever had... you were, by far, her biggest disappointment. And, if I don't hire you, I am an idiot. You must have done something right.
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Miranda PriestlyDo you know why I hired you? I always hire the same girl - stylish, slender, of course... worships the magazine. But so often, they turn out to be - I don't know - disappointing and, um... stupid. So you, with that impressive résumé and the big speech about your so-called work ethic - I, um - I thought you would be different. I said to myself, go ahead. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl. I had hope. My God. I live on it. Anyway, you ended up disappointing me more than, um - more than any of the other silly girls.
Andy Sachs[answering the phone few minutes later]Miranda, hi, I'm trying to get you a flight but no one is flying out because of the weather.
Miranda PriestlyOh, please... it's just - I don't know- drizzling.
[Background in Miami shows a huge storm and smashing thunder]
Miranda PriestlySomeone must be getting out. Call Donatella. Get her jet. Call everybody else that we know that has a jet - Irv? Call every - this is your responsibi - *This is your job! Get. Me. Home!*
NigelThere's a scale. One nod is good, two nods is very good. There's only be one actual smile on record and that was Tom Ford in 2001. If she doesn't like it she shakes her head. Then of course there's the pursing of the lips.
Miranda PriestlyI don't understand why it's so difficult to confirm an appointment.
EmilyI know. I'm so sorry, Miranda. I actually did confirm last night.
Miranda PriestlyDetails of your incompetence do not interest me. Tell Simone I'm not going to approve that girl that she sent me for the Brazilian layout. I asked for clean, athletic, smiling. She sent me dirty, tired and paunchy. And R.S.V.P. yes to Michael Kors' party, I want the driver to drop me off at 9:30 and pick me up at 9:45 sharp. Call Natalie at Glorious Foods and tell her no for the 40th time. No! I don't want dacquoise. I want tortes filled with warm rhubarb compote. Then call my ex-husband and remind him that the parent-teacher conference is at Dalton tonight. Then call my husband, ask him to meet me for dinner at that place I went to with Massimo. Tell Richard I saw the pictures that he sent for that feature on the female paratroopers and they're all so deeply unattractive. Is it impossible to find a lovely, slender, female paratrooper? Am I reaching for the stars here? Not really. Also, I need to see all the things that Nigel has pulled for Gwyneth's second cover try. I wonder if she's lost any of that weight yet.
EmilyWhat? No! Nothing! One time an assistant left the desk. Oh, because she sliced her hand open with a letter opener, and Miranda missed Lagerfeld just before he was about to board a 17 hour flight to Austrailia. She now works at TV Guide.
[at the "Urban Jungle" fashion shoot, talking to Andy]
NigelExcuse me, can we adjust the attitude? Don't make me feed you to one of the models.
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Nate[as Andy takes a call from Miranda]You know, in case you were wondering - the person whose calls you always take? That's the relationship you're in. I hope you two are very happy together.
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EmilyYou went upstairs? You went upstairs. Oh my God. Why didn't you just crawl into bed with her and ask for a bedtime story?
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NigelI don't know what you expect me to do. There's nothing in this whole closet that'll fit a size six. I can guarantee you. These are all sample sizes - two and four. All right. We're doing this for you. And...
NigelYou'll take what I give you and you'll like it. We're doing this Dolce for you. And shoes. Jimmy Choos. Manolo Blahnik. Nancy Gonzalez. Love that. Okay, Narciso Rodriguez. This we love. Uh, it might fit. It might.
NigelOkay. Now, Chanel. You're in desperate need of Chanel. Darling, shall we? We have to get to the beauty department, and God knows how long that's going to take.
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Nigel[to Andy, who is buying lunch]Corn chowder. That's an interesting choice. You do know that cellulite is one of the main ingredients in corn chowder.
EmilyAndrea, Runway is a fashion magazine, so an interest in fashion is crucial.
Andy SachsWhat makes you think I'm not interested in fashion?
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EmilyI don't care if she was going to fire you or beat you with a red hot poker, you should've said no.
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Emily[deleted scene - during the rush as Miranda arrives]Oh God, you're still there. Um. Go. No. Stay. Stay. Sit there, sit there and I will pray she does not notice you are in the area
Miranda PriestlyNo. No, I just - it's just baffling to me. Why is it so impossible to put together a decent runthrough? You people have had hours and hours to prepare. It's just so confusing to me. Where are the advertisers?
Miranda PriestlyOh God. Get away from her, she's useless. And unattractive. Ask for Ivan. Tell him we need 20 skirts for a reshoot.
[hangs up]
LizWhat did she say?
Andy Sachs[Embarrassed pause] Uh. Is Ivan available?
LizOh.
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Andy Sachs[as she and Christian wander through Place Des Vosges, after both have had a little too much to drink]I never understood why everyone was so crazy about Paris, but now...
EmilyAndrea, Miranda decided to kill the autumn jacket story for September and she's pulling up the Sedona shoot for October. You need to come into the office right this second and pick up her coffee order on the way.
EmilyNow, get a pen and write this down. I want one no-foam skimmed latte with an extra shot and three drip coffees with room for milk. Searing hot. And I mean hot.
Miranda PriestlyI don't want that. I'm having lunch with Irv, I'll be back at 3:00, I'd like my Starbucks waiting. Oh, and if you don't have that Harry Potter book by then, don't even bother coming back
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Emily[on the phone]While you're out, Miranda needs you to go to Hermès to pick up 25 scarves we ordered for her.
EmilyCassidy forgot her homework at Dalton. Pick that up. Oh, yeah. And Miranda went out to meet with Meisel, and she'll want more Starbucks when she gets back. *Hot* Starbucks.