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Kinoafisha Films Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy the Vampire Slayer Movie Quotes

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Movie Quotes

Andy They had this look in their eyes, totally cold, animal. I think they were young Republicans.

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[Amilyn has lost an arm]

Amilyn We're immortal, Buffy. We can do anything.

Buffy Oh yeah? Clap.

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Buffy All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry Christian Slater, and die. Now it may not sound too great to a sconehead like you, but I think it's swell. And you come along and tell me I'm a member of the hairy mole club so you can *throw* things at me?

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[after getting his whole arm cut off]

Amilyn You ruined my new jacket! Kill him A LOT!

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Buffy Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

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Grueller Now, I'm a God!

Pike [stakes him] And now, you're a coat rack.

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Buffy I have something that the other girls didn't have.

Merrick And what might that be, pray?

Buffy My keen fashion sense!

Merrick Oh, vampires of the world beware.

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Buffy Does the word "duh" mean anything to you?

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Buffy Are you okay?

Pike I can't move my legs.

Buffy Why?

Pike 'Cause you're sittin' on them.

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Buffy Pike isn't a name, it's a fish.

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Benny Let me in, Pike. I'm *hungry*!

Pike Go home, Ben.

Benny [whining] C'mon I'm hungry.

Pike You're floating! C'mon, man, get away from here!

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Cheerleaders How funky is your chicken? How funky is your chicken? How loose is your goose? Our goose is totally loose! So come on all you Hog fans, so come on all you Hog fans and shake your caboose, and shake your caboose! WHoooO!

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Buffy [to weird stranger Merrick] Does Elvis talk to you? Does he tell you to do things? Do you see spots?

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Buffy You left me a message?

Jeffrey You weren't home! Like always.

Buffy You broke up with my machine?

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Buffy Don't worry. They can't come in unless they're invited.

Kimberly I already invited 'em.

[Buffy looks at her]

Kimberly They're seniors!

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Buffy I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm in a graveyard with a strange man hunting for vampires on a *school night*.

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Buffy You threw a knife at my head!

Merrick Yes, I had to show you.

Buffy But... you *threw* a *knife* at my *head.*

Merrick And you caught it. Only the chosen one could have caught it.

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[after punching Merrick]

Buffy Oh, wow. I-I never hit anybody before.

Merrick Really? Well you did it perfectly.

Buffy I didn't even break a nail.

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Pike I know that guy. *That* is a bad guy. Can we go please?

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Lothos [Buffy holds up a cross] This is your defense? Puh-lease. Your puny faith?

Buffy No.

[the cross ignites in flames and she tosses the cap off a hairspray can]

Buffy My keen fashion sense.

[she sprays the flames, shooting them at his face]

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Buffy Merrick, you made a joke. Are you okay? Do you want to lie down? I know it hurts the first time

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Gary [Thinking Buffy is doing drugs] Hey, there's nothing to be afraid of! I know where you're coming from. Believe me. I'll tell you the truth. I've had my drug experiences, too. I did a lot - I did some acid in the Sixties. Well, the late Seventies, actually. It was at a Doobie Brother's concert... and I could see the music flowing into me, it was bright red and electric, and I felt like a big toaster, and I thought, maybe I am a toaster, we're all molecules, and my friend Melissa, her head looked like a big party balloon, and that scared me, I started to freak out...

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Nicole Buff, I don't see why we have to invite every single senior.

Buffy Because it's the senior dance. It's just a shot in the dark.

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Lothos You and I are one.

Buffy One what? Cute couple? I don't THINK so.

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Buffy [to the weird stranger who tries to get into the elevator] Excuse much! Rude or anything?

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Kimberly Buffy? What's your sitch? You're acting like the thing from another tax bracket. It's too weird.

Buffy Listen, a lot's been going on you guys, okay? And I really wanted to talk to you guys about it. See, um, a couple of weeks ago, I met this guy-...

Kimberly Oh my god, you're having an affair?

Nicole Cool!

Jennifer Does Jeffrey know?

Buffy It's not about that. He's, like, old. He's fifty.

Kimberly Kimberly, Nicole, Jennifer: Ewwwww!

Jennifer Gross!

Buffy Haven't you guys noticed what's been going on here? The strange things? Have you noticed people disappearing, turning up dead?

Nicole What are you talking about?

Kimberly Weird? You mean like hanging around with that homeless Poke?

Buffy Pike.

Nicole [gasp] Eww, you're having an affair with him?

Jennifer He doesn't look fifty.

Buffy Guys, I think reality stepped out of here about five minutes ago.

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Merrick None of the other girls ever gave me this much trouble.

Buffy And where are they now? Hello!

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Nicole You got a C-plus? I can't believe I cheated off of you.

Buffy Excuse me for not knowing about El Salvador, like I'm ever going to Spain anyway.

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Buffy [Merrick has taken Buffy to the graveyard] D'you have any gum?

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Amilyn Will you be wagging that jaw of yours while I'm biting it off?

Pike Are you addressing I?

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Lothos I haven't finished with you, bitch!

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Gary [Throwing detention slips on the dead vampires] Detention

[Walks to another body]

Gary ... detention

[Walks to another body]

Gary ... detention.

[Throws 2 more slips on the same body. Says quickly]

Gary Detention, detention.

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Buffy [Trying to come up with an issues-related theme for their school dance] The environment.

Nicole The homelesses?

Kimberly [to Nicole] Oh, please.

Jennifer Are there any good sicknesses that aren't too depressing?

Buffy Guys. The environment. I'm telling you, it's totally key. The earth is in terrible shape, we could all die, and besides, Sting's doing it.

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Merrick [Trying to explain that Buffy's a vampire slayer] I've searched the entire world for you, Buffy. To bring you... your birthright.

Buffy My birthright?

[Slightly excited]

Buffy You mean, like a trust fund?

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Benny Her yabos scoff at gravity.

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[Buffy stakes Lothos]

Lothos Now I'm really pissed off.

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Buffy Three weeks ago, all I thought about was... well I didn't actually think about anything.

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Merrick And you're going to be able to use that to track them.

Buffy Great. My secret weapon is PMS. That's just terrific. Thanks for telling me.

Merrick It's not a weapon. It's an alert system.

Buffy Well, aren't we kung fu? I don't see you out there killing any vampires.

Merrick I play my part.

Buffy You can play with your part all you want, but it's my neck on the block.

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Zeph Where the hell are you going?

Pike I'm leaving man, I'm bailing town. This place has gotten way too hairy.

Zeph Where the hell am I gonna find a mechanic stupid enough to work for my kind of money?

Pike Seen Benny lately?

Zeph No. Hey! What, you want me to give him a message?

Pike You should think about leaving too, man. Sell this place. There's something going on around here. I don't know, something really weird.

Zeph Hey, what do you want me to do if I see Benny?

Pike Run.

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Pike Look! Air!

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Merrick You do everything wrong.

Buffy Sorry.

Merrick No. Do it wrong. Don't play our game.

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Buffy's Mom [Buffy walks in late] Do you know what time it is?

Buffy Uh... around ten?

Buffy's Mom [looks at her watch] I *knew* this thing was slow. You pay a fortune for something...

[shouts to Buffy's father]

Buffy's Mom Honey, come on, we're gonna be late!

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Gary I have detention slips here and I'm not afraid to use them.

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Lothos [to Amilyn] Honestly, I don't know how you made it through the Crusades.

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[the Coach is having the last pep-talk with his team, pointing at a piece of paper with an infinity-sign, some male / female symbols and the eye inside the pyramid]

Coach Therefore, if we all work together, together it'll all work out. Are you with me? Now, get out there! All right! Score some, uh, points! Hey, you missed practice again today! I think you better sit down and think about how that made me feel.

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Pike Buffy, you're the guy. You are the chosen guy.

Buffy Right. I'm the chosen one. And I choose to be shopping.

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Coach Okay, people, they're psyching you out. Let's not be so defensive out there, okay? Now what do we say on the court, repeat after me; I *am* a person, I have the right to the ball.

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Merrick I would have been a wonderful bootmaker.

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Kimberly Nice ensemble.