Blood Car Movie Quotes
Denise
Put a taco in my mouth and your dick in my ass.
Archie Andrews
What kind of tacos do you want?
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Donald Watkins
Let's cut straight to the chase. You've invented what we've been calling in official documents, a blood car. You beat us when we didn't play fair, so now we've all agreed to act civil. Civility. Civilian. The civil war? They all started the same way, Archie. The Civil war was started over people using other people - black people-as servants. Not really like humans, but like animals, to pull carts and plant vegetables. And you know all about vegetables, don't you? It was a good idea, but it didn't work-the vegetable for the car thing. Slavery didn't work either, but that's because it was racist. Killing people for fuel is not racist. It's patriotic. It's all about making a sacrifice to fuel our cars, mow our grass, and grill our steaks-if you're not a charcoal man that is. Sure, it came down to us and the Russians, like everything else, and we've beaten 'em,. You've beaten them. Us has beaten them. US. Spell it out Archie, U. S. The US. No other nation can say that. Not even in their native tongue. Outer space is uncharted territory, no matter what they told you about Columbus. The plans just keep getting closer. The farther away we get from Antarctic oil drilling; hard-boiled potatoes, used in apple pies; the Euro. And tarantulas. Deadly tarantulas. For sale in vending machines. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? We need you to build another blood powered engine, we need your help. We need another blood car. We need blood trucks, blood tanks, blood planes, and blood lawnmowers. We need your work to continue. We can't duplicate it. We don't even understand how it works in the first place. How it could possibly work in the first place. But it does. We can't just release this to the public. No one wants hysteria, riots, mass graves. You don't mix milk chocolate and peanuts on your own. You leave it to the pros and reap the benefits. What do you say?
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Archie Andrews
Puppies... You killed that girl with puppies... Things are changing man, get it together!
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Archie Andrews
Listen, Denise, it is a school night for me. I shouldn't get too many drinks in me.
Denise
Well, it's a meat stand night for me, and you don't hear me whining. What, you're in school?
Archie Andrews
I'm a teacher. Elementary school.
Denise
Ugh, you teach children? They give me the creeps I never really liked them.
Archie Andrews
No, they're nice.
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Archie Andrews
Hey, there!
Vietnam Vetran
Hey.
Archie Andrews
How are you?
Vietnam Vetran
Oh, I'm okay. I'm okay. Hey, can you spare some change for some food?
Archie Andrews
Oh, yeah. Sure, I can.
Vietnam Vetran
Oh, thanks.
Archie Andrews
You say you need some food?
Vietnam Vetran
Yeah. Yeah, I do. I'm really hungry.
Archie Andrews
Well, I was gonna drive to a diner and eat. Would you like to join me?
Vietnam Vetran
Drive? You drive? Hey, did you leave that car running over there like that?
Archie Andrews
Yeah. Yeah, I did. It's a little embarrassing.
Vietnam Vetran
Oh, hell. You must be made out of money to walk off and leave a car running like that. Yeah, I'll go eat with you.
Archie Andrews
Okay, great. Great. You want to ride in the car?
Vietnam Vetran
Oh, ride in a car and eat fancy and all that? I might need a tie.
Archie Andrews
Yeah, you might. You might.
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Car Jacker
Start pumping.
Archie Andrews
Listen, I didn't want to say, but I have some gas in the trunk.
Car Jacker
Oh, hold the fuck up. Probably got more than that in the motherfucking trunk. Probably got a motherfucking pistol or shotgun or something in the motherfucking trunk. Listen, we're gonna fill this motherfucker up, we're gonna ride a fucking tank of gas out of here, and you're gonna drop me off at the motherfucking house. Now, don't try no motherfucking shit.
Archie Andrews
No, no, no, I didn't...
Car Jacker
Give me the goddamn motherfucking keys, motherfucker. What's in the trunk, man? What's in the goddamn trunk?
Archie Andrews
Just gas!
Car Jacker
Let me see what's in this motherfucker. Hold still, motherfucker. You trying to hide something? Shit! Damn!
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Archie Andrews
Hello, Mrs. Butterfield!
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Lorraine
It works, Archie! You got it to work?
Archie Andrews
More wheatgrass, Lorraine.
Lorraine
Absolutely! What did you do?
Archie Andrews
Blood, sweat, and tears, Lorraine. That's all it takes.
Lorraine
This is amazing. I am so happy for you.
Denise
Is this yours?
Archie Andrews
Yeah, that's mine.
Denise
What, did you win the fucking lottery or something?
Archie Andrews
Not literally.
Denise
Your boyfriend can afford gas, Lorraine. That's quite a catch.
Archie Andrews
I'm not her boyfriend.
Denise
No? Gosh, I'd give anything to ride in a car.
Archie Andrews
Uh, sure, I can give you a ride.
Denise
What's your name?
Archie Andrews
Archie.
Denise
I'm Denise. I love riding in cars.
Lorraine
What about the meat stand?
Denise
Meat sells itself, Lorraine. I want to ride in a fucking car.
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Car Jacker
Start driving, motherfucker!
Archie Andrews
Oh! Okay!
Car Jacker
The fuck wrong with you? What you doing, window-shopping in the ghetto?
Archie Andrews
No. I was just thinking.
Car Jacker
Wrong part of town to be thinking here, motherfucker. Probably thinking about buying some pussy. Keep driving.
Archie Andrews
What are you doing?
Car Jacker
Shut the fuck up! Think I get to ride around in cars, listen to the radio and shit? Do you? Fuck no, I don't!
Archie Andrews
Do you want to just take the car?
Car Jacker
Shut the fuck up and drive, nigga.
Archie Andrews
You can take the car.
Car Jacker
What sense that make, huh? You got maybe an eight of a tank. If I take this car and drive and run out of gas, what am I gonna do, fill it up? What, this is a 12-gallon tank, ain't it?
Archie Andrews
I don't know.
Car Jacker
What size, motherfucker?
Archie Andrews
I don't...
Car Jacker
Ten-gallon? Twelve-gallon? What?
Archie Andrews
Yeah, 12. Twelve gallons. I'm positive, it's 12.
Car Jacker
Why you just didn't say that?
Archie Andrews
I don't... I don't know. I don't know.
Car Jacker
It's like 12 gallons at 35 dollars and 50 cents, about 36 dollars a gallon. If I fill it up, it's like 450 dollars. Now, I can't...
Archie Andrews
No, it's not quite 400...
Car Jacker
Yes, it is, nigga! It's like 440 or 450! Do the math!
Archie Andrews
I did the math, that's incorrect.
Car Jacker
What? You got a calculator? Give me a calculator.
Archie Andrews
No, I don't have a calculator. I have a pencil. Will that work?
Car Jacker
What? "Will that work?" Hell yeah, it'll work. Think a nigga can't do his timetables and shit? Well, at 36 a gallon, it's pretty damn close.
Archie Andrews
But not quite, right?
Car Jacker
Well, pull into this motherfucking gas station, and let's fill this bitch up, man.
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Lorraine
I love this car, Archie.
Archie Andrews
I need to clean it a little bit.
Lorraine
I think it's lovely.
Archie Andrews
Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get a bite to eat or something?
Lorraine
I'd love that.
Archie Andrews
Steakhouse?
Lorraine
I'd love that. I love steakhouse, Archie.
Archie Andrews
No you don't.
Lorraine
Uhh... oh you're right.
Archie Andrews
Cut it out, Lorraine. Cut it.
Lorraine
I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.
Archie Andrews
I'm nervous all the time.
Lorraine
No, you're not.
Archie Andrews
Yeah, I am.
Lorraine
You're nervous right now?
Archie Andrews
Yeah. I'm a little nervous.
Lorraine
Well, what makes you nervous? it's just you and me.
Archie Andrews
Maybe I'm just hungry.
Lorraine
Well, eat.
Archie Andrews
You wanna go to my apartment and get some food?
Lorraine
Yes.
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Archie Andrews
Why can't I just take you home?
Denise
Uh-uh. I'm sick of stalkers. Goddamn sick of them. And if I don't let you buy me food and stick your tongue in my ass, you'll be in the bushes with the rest of them. Crying and whacking off every time you get two beers in you. Shit, you'd probably write poetry.
Archie Andrews
I'm not like that.
Denise
Yeah, right, sissy. I bet you writer sonnets and all that shit.
Archie Andrews
No. I mean I'm not a stalker.
Denise
Well, you're not actually a stalker until you stalk somebody. So why don't you think about that when you go home and write haikus about my box?
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Denise
Come on. Batter up there, Professor.
Archie Andrews
No, I shouldn't.
Denise
Come on. You can't fuck in the bathroom of a Mexican restaurant sober. So kill that shot and cannonball that 'rita. Come on. Drinky, drinky. I got to piss.
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Axed Agent
All right, son, let's talk this out, huh? 'Cause I don't know if you've ever been shot, but I've got to tell you, it hurts like fuck! And I will shoot you! All right, come on, man, why don't you just come out here? We'll sit down, we'll talk about it, we'll figure something out. I mean, I don't have to hurt you. I mean, trust me, I won't fucking hesitate, but I don't have to hurt you. Dammit. Where is he?
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Denise
Whoa. Could have hit the showers before coming out. No big deal. Just clean up a little. You working on the car or something? Rough day? Me too. Want some barbecue?
Archie Andrews
Barbecue?
Denise
I love eating barbecue after a bad day. No place on Earth filled with more sad, depressed, fat-necked fuckers than a barbecue joint. Look at them. Pathetic. Rib-eating motherfuckers.
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Lorraine
Hi, Archie.
Archie Andrews
Hello, Lorraine. Doing all right?
Lorraine
Oh, you know, just here. You know? How's your wheatgrass car coming along?
Archie Andrews
Yeah, it's coming along, I guess.
Lorraine
That's a great shirt. It's really funny.
Archie Andrews
Just need some more wheatgrass today.
Lorraine
Did you get a new bike?
Archie Andrews
No, I didn't. Two dollars, right?
Lorraine
Really, it looks different. Maybe it got a new haircut.
Archie Andrews
What?
Lorraine
I was just making a joke.
Archie Andrews
Uhm, yeah. Yeah. Bye, Lorraine.
Lorraine
Yeah.
Archie Andrews
Take it easy.
Lorraine
I'll see you later.
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Lorraine
Hey, Archie. What's up? How was school?
Archie Andrews
Oh, fine. I need more wheatgrass.
Lorraine
Hey, I thought of a great idea for your wheatgrass engine. What if you put pedals on it? Like a bike? Then you can ride it, like a bike? it's, it's just an idea that I had.
Archie Andrews
$2.00?
Lorraine
Actually it's $2.50. Wheatgrass prices are going up.
Archie Andrews
Are you joking?
Lorraine
No, no kidding. But hey for you $2.00.
Archie Andrews
Are you sure?
Lorraine
Of course. You're only like my best customer.
Archie Andrews
I appreciate it.
Lorraine
Hey, Archie, I was thinking, would you wanna maybe, hang out sometime? I would really like to see your wheatgrass engine. It's just an idea, another one that's real bad.
Archie Andrews
I'm real busy.
Lorraine
And it's a school night, I guess.
Archie Andrews
Yeah, It sure is, sometime though. Maybe.
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Denise
Thanks, Poncho Villa. After you get that, why don't you bring us a couple of margaritas and two shots of tequila?
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