The Spy Next Door Movie Quotes
Bob Ho
Family isn't whose blood you carry. It's who you love, and who loves you.
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Farren
[crying]
I know he lied, but he did protect us. This whole time, all he ever wanted to do was protect us, Mom, and, Mom, you're never gonna find a man as good as Bob, never again.
Ian
I never thought I'd say this, but I agree with Farren.
Nora
I want Bob to be my daddy.
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Bob Ho
So, tell me more about Halloween.
Nora
It's the best. You get candy, everyone pretends to be someone else, and nobody knows who you really are.
Bob Ho
Sounds familiar.
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Poldark
Where is the file?
Ian
It's on my iPod on my desk at home.
Bob Ho
Now, see, you want to be a spy - never tell the truth to the bad guy.
Ian
Sorry. I'm new at this.
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Russian Thug
What are you supposed to be?
Nora
A cyborg, sent from the future to blast you away!
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Nora
Mommy, that man can fly!
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Glaze
What took you so long to get here?
Bob Ho
Six minutes.
Glaze
You stop for a latte?
Bob Ho
Oh, I get it. You're, uh... What's the expression? Chopping my bust.
Glaze
Close enough.
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Glaze
Tell me he didn't get away.
Colton James
Oh, he's as gone as rum cake at an AA meeting.
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Colton James
Oh, heck, man, don't get married. Just find some woman that you're gonna hate in five years and give her your house.
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Ian
Hey, how you doing? I'm Ian. If I told you have a beautiful body, you hold it against me?
Cute Gymnast
[disgusted]
Yeow!
Bob Ho
At least you're not shy.
Ian
I wanted to talk to her in the worst way.
Bob Ho
Mission accomplished.
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Bob Ho
I have two words for you, Larry. Thirteen.
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Ian
You know about fashion?
Bob Ho
No, but I know women. Wear it like this. It's cool. I saw it in a movie.
Ian
What movie? Octopussy? This isn't 1985.
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Bob Ho
I've brought down dictators. How tough can three kids be?
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Farren
Gillian, your son is a psycho. He booby-trapped my hairdryer.
Ian
Nice hypothesis, but ya can't prove it.
Farren
Yeah, but I can hurt you.
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Colton James
Now, how the heck are you gonna get in there? Jet pack?
Bob Ho
It's in the shop.
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Bob Ho
If a man marries you, he marries all four of you.
Gillian
Don't forget the pig, the cat, and the turtle.
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Poldark
Tatiana, you can't imagine what it's like in there. The oppressive darkness, and the torture of empty days stretching for years. Prison is hell.
Creel
You were in there for four hours.
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Glaze
Hey, loosen these things up!
Colton James
Oh, I'm sorry. What's wrong? Got the handcuffs too tight? I don't know how these things work. I'm just a dumb hillbilly.
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Bob Ho
Yo, it's Ho.
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[first lines]
Nora
Mom! Jethro's eating my unduweahw!
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Colton James
Oh, while I'm thinkin' about it, they suspect there may be a mole at the agency.
Bob Ho
They suspect me?
Colton James
Noooo. You know Glaze thinks you're the sharpest barb on the wire.
Bob Ho
I've no idea what that means.
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Farren
Bob, this is Larry.
Larry
Pleased to meet you, sir.
Bob Ho
Let's get some food.
Farren
He goes to the university.
Ian
He's a poet. Isn't it cool?
Bob Ho
It's rad. It's awesome. It's jiggy for shizzy. It's bomb.
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Bob Ho
Can your mommy do that?
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Bob Ho
He is rare. He is amazing. He is the man.
Farren
How embarrassing.
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Poldark
I look like the French Prince of Belarus.
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Poldark
How quickly can you give me orange jumpsuit?
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Colton James
Don't get married! Just find a woman who will hate you in five years and give her your house.
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Ian
Oh. Hey, guys! Gotta go.
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Nora
[Heading toward a Chinese restaurant]
Doesn't look like they have chicken tenders here!
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Ian
I hate it when old people have feelings.
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Nora
Boys are pigs.
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Creel
[after Poldark throws his cell phone on the floor and shoots it]
You must stop shooting things, Antonsha.
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Poldark
I need a change of clothes - something current and fashionable, and something to eat that does not come with a toy.
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Poldark
I don't know who you are sending out to buy my clothes, but I want them killed.
Creel
You could go yourself.
Poldark
I'm the most wanted man in America. I can't exactly browse the racks of J.C. Penney's.
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