Monsters, Inc. Movie Quotes
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Mike
Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley
Yeah, I got, uh, Smelly Garbage or Old Dumpster.
Mike
You got, uh, Low Tide?
Sulley
No.
Mike
How about Wet Dog?
Sulley
Yep. Stink it up.
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Mike
Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.
Sulley
Mike, you don't understand.
Mike
Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.
Sulley
I'm being attacked!
Mike
No, I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.
[Boo approaches Mike, frightened]
Mike
I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.
Mike
[Sulley is being strangled]
Come on, pal. If you start crying, I'm gonna cry, and I'll never get through this. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but I am now. Hey, Sulley, I am baring my soul here. The least you can do is pay attention!
[Throws snowball; it hits Randall, making him visible enough for Sulley to knock him out]
Mike
Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.
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Charlie
[Repeated line]
Twenty-three nineteen! We have a Twenty-three nineteen!
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[Sully thinks Boo has been crushed into a cube of garbage]
Sulley
[tearfully] I can still hear her little voice.
Boo
[from down the hall] Mike Wazowski!
Mike
Hey, I can hear her too.
Kids
Mike Wazowski!
Mike
How many kids you got in there?
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Mike
Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today?
Roz
Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night.
Mike
Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away?
Roz
Don't let it happen again.
Mike
Yes, well, I'll try to be more careful next time.
Roz
I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.
Mike
Ooh, she's nuts.
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Mike
Kid?
[chuckles nervously]
Mike
What kid?
Randall
It's here in the factory. Isn't it?
Mike
You're not pinning this on me! It never would've gotten out if *you* hadn't been cheating last night!
[calms down]
Randall
Cheating. Right. Okay, I think I know how to make this all go away. What happens when the whistle blows in five minutes?
Mike
Uh, I get a time-out?
Randall
Everyone goes to lunch! Which means: the scare floor will be...?
Mike
...Painted?
Randall
EMPTY! It'll be empty, you idiot! You see that clock? When the big hand is pointing up...
[forces Mike's left arm up]
Randall
and the little hand is pointing up...
[forces his right arm up]
Randall
the kid's door will be in my station. But when the big hand points down...
[bends the right arm over the left; Mike groans in pain]
Randall
the door will be gone. You have until then to put the kid back. Get the picture?
[Mike whimpers and nods]
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[Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo]
Mike
I can't believe it...
Sulley
Oh, Mike...
Mike
I was on TV. Ha. Did you see me? I'm a natural.
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Mike
Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Come on, tell me it's a new haircut, isn't it? It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz
Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike
He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz
This office is now closed.
[closes the window on Mike's fingers]
Mike
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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Randall
[Finding out that he caught Mike instead of Boo]
Wazowski! Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike
Okay, first of all, it's "creetin". If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is gonna help YOU cheat your way to the top.
Mike
Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.
[a Handle Bar is placed down preventing Mike from leaving, and his hands get cuffed on]
Randall
I am about to revolutionize the scaring industry, and when I do, even the great James P. Sullivan will be working of me. First I need to know where the kid is, and you're gonna tell me.
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Henry J. Waternoose
This has gone far enough, James.
Sulley
She's home now. Just leave her alone!
Henry J. Waternoose
I can't do that, James. She's seen too much. You both have.
Sulley
It doesn't have to be this way.
Henry J. Waternoose
I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore.
Sulley
But kidnapping children?
Henry J. Waternoose
I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!
[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo]
Sulley
No!
[Waternoose instead finds the simulated child]
Voice
Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated...
Henry J. Waternoose
[confused] Huh? But... What?
[the lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room; Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]
Mike
I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?
[replays the tape of Waternoose over and over]
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Sulley
Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous.
Mike
Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me.
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[Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture]
Sulley
Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
[Opens closet and walks inside]
Sulley
Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.
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[Mike and Sulley at a crosswalk next to a giant monster]
Sulley
Hey, Ted! Good morning!
[Ted clucks; light changes and they cross]
Sulley
See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work.
Mike
Big deal. Guy takes five steps and he's there.
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Sulley
How can I do this? How could I be so stupid? This could ruin the company.
Mike
The company? Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a KILLING MACHINE!
[points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly]
Mike
I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
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Celia
Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
[Mike stares lovingly at her]
Celia
What are you looking at?
Mike
I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Mike
Your hair was shorter then.
Celia
Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
[the snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear]
Mike
No-no, I like it this length.
[the snakes sigh in relief]
Mike
I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia
What did you say?
Mike
I said...
[Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia]
Mike
Sulley?
Celia
Sulley?
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Mike
Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Please, Fungus?
Fungus
I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
[Sulley grabs Fungus from above, while Mike looks up overjoyed. In the next scene, Randall manages to plug the Scream Extractor back in, and then returns to the lab where he notices that Fungus is seated in where Mike was, with the Scream Extractor sucking him.]
[Randall turns off the machine as Fungus, now turned white and pale from the Scream Extractor, weakly points in a direction to his left]
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[first lines]
Flint
All right, Mr. Bile, is it?
Bile
Uh, my friends call me Phlem.
Flint
Uh-huh, Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?
Bile
I fell down?
Flint
No, No, before that.
[Turning to the Trainees behind her]
Flint
Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone?
[the Trainees look confused]
Flint
[Playing the Footage on the Screen above of Bile entering the room]
Alright let's check footage, right there. The Door! And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...
Bile
Uh... it could let in a draft?
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Mike
[as the Scream Extractor approaches]
What is that thing? What is that thing? Hey, hey, hey, that thing is moving. I don't like big, moving things that are moving towards me.
[the Scream Extractor comes to a stop, pointing itself directly at Mike]
Randall
Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Mike
Hello. Hey, where are you going? C'mon, we'll talk! We'll have a latte!
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[Repeated Line]
Boo
Mike Waszowski.
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Yeti
You wanna go to the village? Okay, rule number one out here: Always... no, Never go out in a blizzard.
Sulley
We need to get to Boo.
[a snowcone gets thrown at Sulley from off-screen. The Yeti points at Mike]
Mike
Boo? What about us?
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike
Ever since that kid came in, you've ignored everything I've said, and now look where we are!
[Throws another snowcone]
Mike
Oh, we were about to break the record, Sulley. We would've had it made!
Sulley
None of that matters now.
Mike
None of it matters?
[Drops the snowcone he was about to throw onto the floor]
Mike
Wa-wait a second. None of it matters? Oh, okay, that's - no. Good. Great. So now the truth comes out, doesn't it?
Yeti
Oh, would you look at that? We're out of snowcones. Let me... just go outside and make some more.
[Leaves]
Mike
Sulley, what about everything we ever worked for? Does that matter? Huh? What about Celia? I am never... never gonna see her again. Doesn't that matter? What about me? I'm your pal, I'm-I'm your best friend. Don't I matter?
Sulley
I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry we're stuck out here. I didn't mean all this to happen. But Boo's in trouble. I think there might be a way to save her if we can just get down to that...
Mike
We? Whoa, whoa. We? No. There's no we this time, pal. If-if-if you wanna go out there and freeze to death, you be my guest, because you're on your own.
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Sulley
Mike, that's not her door.
Mike
What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley
No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike
No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
[opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room]
Mike
[to Boo]
You hear that? Sounds like fun in there. Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo
Mowki Kowski.
Mike
Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
[waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog]
Mike
Look at the stick. See the stick?
[throws the stick through the door]
Mike
Go get the stick. Go fetch.
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Sulley
Oh. So *that's* puce.
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Roz
Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
Mike
Well, as a matter of fact...
Roz
Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once.
[Mike smiles innocently]
Roz
Your stunned silence is very reassuring.
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Mike
Get out of here. You're ruining everything.
Sulley
I went back to get your paperwork and there was a door.
Mike
What? A door?
Sulley
Randall was in it.
Mike
Wait a minute, Randall? That cheater! He's trying to boost his numbers.
Sulley
There's something else.
Mike
What?
Sulley
Ook-lay in the ag-bay.
Mike
What?
Sulley
Look in the bag.
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Mike
I'm telling you, Big Daddy. You're gonna be seeing this face on TV more often.
Sulley
Yeah, like on "Monstropolis' Most Wanted"?
Mike
Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.
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Sulley
Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike
Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley
That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike
Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me...
[pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor]
Mike
Oh, hey. We're rehearsing a - a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
[singing]
Mike
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut. We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.
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Yeti
Abominable. Can you believe that? Do I look abominable to you? Why can't they call me the Adorable Snowman, or the Agreeable Snowman, for crying out loud? I'm a nice guy. Snow cone?
Mike
Yuck.
Yeti
No, no, no, don't worry. It's lemon. How about you Big Fella? Snow cone?
Sulley
[Feeling sad after accidentally scaring Boo at the Scare Simulator]
Did you see the way she looked at me?
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Sulley
Nice job, Mikey. You filled your quota on the first kid of the day.
Mike
You know, only someone with great comedic timing could produce this much energy in one shot.
Sulley
Uh-huh, and the fact that laughter has ten times the energy of scream had nothing to do with it.
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[Randall cuffs Boo onto the chair at the Scream Extractor, preparing to extract her screams to impress Waternoose]
Henry J. Waternoose
Finally. I shouldn't have trusted you. Because of you, I had to banish my top scarer.
Randall
Ah, with this machine, we won't need scarers. Besides, Sullivan got what he deserved.
Henry J. Waternoose
Sullivan was twice the scarer you'll ever be!
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Mike
Oh, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face when that wall went up. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the company in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?
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Babysitter
Well, hello there. What's your name?
Boo
Mike Wazowski.
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Needleman
So I said, "If you talk to me like that again, we're through."
Smitty
Oh! What did she say?
Needleman
You know my mom. She sent me to my room.
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[Mike and Sulley, with the help of Waternoose, are preparing to send Boo home. Watenoose clicks on a device that retrieves doors]
Henry J. Waternoose
I never thought it would come to this. Not in my factory. I'm sorry you boys got mixed up in this. Especially you, James. But, now we can set everything straight again. For the good of the company.
[a huge metal door is brought out instead of Boo's]
Mike
Sir, that's not her door.
Henry J. Waternoose
I know, I know...
[Suddenly, Randal materializes in front of the door and opens it, which leads out to a Harsh Cold Environment]
Henry J. Waternoose
... It's yours.
[Waternoose, holding Boo, pushes Mike and Sulley through the door]
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Mike
Look at the big jerk. He ruined my life, and for what? A STUPID KID! Because of you, I am stuck in this frozen wasteland!
Yeti
Wasteland? I think you mean "Wonderland"! I mean, how about all this fabulous snow, huh? Oh, and wait until you see the local village, cutest thing in the world. I haven't mentioned all the free yak's milk.
Sulley
Wh... What did you say?
Yeti
Yak's milk. Milking a yak ain't exactly a picnic; but once you pick the hairs out, it's very nutritious.
Sulley
No, No. Something about a Village. Are there any Kids there?
Yeti
Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...
Sulley
Where is it?
Yeti
Bottom of the Mountain. A 3 Day hike from here.
Sulley
3 Days? We need to get there NOW.
[Sulley bangs his fists against the wall in Frustration. A fallen icicle rolls over to a Toboggan and Lantern over in the corner, which could help him get down the mountain quickly]
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[Boo's laugh made all the lights go out]
Sulley
What was that?
Mike Wazowski
I have no idea. But it would be a really good idea if it didn't do it again.
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Sulley
[Sulley and Mike have just been banished to the Himalayas on Earth - Sulley opens the door to find nothing beyond it]
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mike
It's too late! We're banished, genius! We're in the human world! Oh, what a great idea; goin' to your old pal Waternoose! Too bad he was in on the whole thing! All you hadda do, was listen to me, just once! But you didn't, did you?
[Sulley continues to fret in the doorway]
Mike
YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING!
[Mike jumps at Sulley in Frustration sending them down a hill. Then they get Company]
Yeti
Welcome to the Himalayas.
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Boo
[giggles and opens her closet door, only to find nothing but toys and clothes hung up]
Boo!... Kitty?
[the scene changes to show Boo's door being shredded by the CDA and Roz]
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[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose]
Henry J. Waternoose
Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley
Mr. Waternoose.
Henry J. Waternoose
Ah, James. Is this one yours?
Sulley
Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike
Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose
Hmm, must have missed the memo.
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Trailer Son
[after Sully throws Randall into a door and destroys it] Mama! 'Nother gator got in the house!
Trailer Mom
Another gator? Gimme that shovel!
[she begins to whack Randall with the shovel]
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Celia
So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?
Mike
I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's.
Celia
Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there.
Mike
Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quitting time, and not a minute later.
Celia
Okay, sweetheart.
Mike
Think romantical thoughts.
[singing]
Mike
You and me, me and you, both of us together!
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Yeti
[Referring to despondent Sully]
Aw, poor guy. I understand. It ain't easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy".
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Henry J. Waternoose
Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.
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Mike
She's the one. I'm telling ya, she is the one.
Sulley
I'm happy for you.
Mike
Oh, by the way, thanks for hooking me up with those reservations.
Sulley
No problem. They're under the name Googlie-Bear.
Mike
Thanks, I... you know, that ain't very funny.
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Henry J. Waternoose
No, no, no, no, no. What was that? You're trying to scare the kid, not lull it to sleep.
Bile
I was going for a snake-slash-ninja approach, with a little hissing.
[hisses]
Henry J. Waternoose
How many times must I tell you? It's all about presence. About how you enter the room.
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Randall
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh. Do you hear that? It's the winds of change.
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[Mike falls from the chair]
Randall
Well what do you know? It scares little kids and little monsters.
Mike
I wasn't scared, I have allergies
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Needleman
Hey, Mr. Sullivan!
Sulley
Guys, I told you, call me Sulley.
Smitty
[Giggling]
I don't think so.
Needleman
We just wanted to wish you good luck today.
Mike
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on, get lost, you two. You're making him lose his focus.
Needleman
Oh, sorry.
Sulley
See you later, fellas.
Smitty
Go get 'em, Mr. Sullivan!
Needleman
Quiet! You're making him lose his focus.
Smitty
Oh, no. Sorry!
Needleman
Shut up!
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Henry J. Waternoose
There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee
I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me.
Henry J. Waternoose
You're going in there, because we need this.
[Holds out a Scream Canister, which lets out a small scream that it Extracted]
Henry J. Waternoose
Our city is counting on you to collect those screams. Without scream, we have no power. Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan.
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TV Anchorman
If witnesses are to be believed, there has been a child security breach for the first time in monster history.
CDA Agent
We can neither confirm nor deny the presence of a human child here tonight.
Witness #1
Well the kid flew right over me and blasted a car with its laser vision.
Witness #2
I tried to get away from it, but he picked me up with his mind powers and shook me like a doll.
Witness #3
[has many eyes] It's true! I saw the whole thing!
Professor on TV
It is my professional opinion that now it's the time to *panic*!
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Mike
Hey, genius. Wanna know why I bought the car?
Sulley
Not really.
Mike
To drive it! You know, like on the street? With the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Sulley
Wah, wah, wah. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.
Mike
I could use the exercise? Look at you. You have your own climate.
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Mike
You know, I am so romantic, sometimes I think I should just marry myself.
Sulley
Give me a break, Mike.
Mike
What a night of romance I got ahead of me. Tonight it's about me and Celia. Ooh, the Love Boat is about to set sail. Toot-toot! Cause I gotta tell you, buddy, that face of hers , it just makes my heart go...
[Sees Roz in front of him]
Mike
Yikes!
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Sulley
[Boo is sleeping in Sulley's Bed]
Hey that's my bed, you're gonna get your germs all over it.
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Roz
None of this ever happened, gentlemen. And I don't want to see any paperwork on it.
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Mike
Come on, the coast is clear. Ok, all we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey.
Sulley
But she can't stay here this is the men's room.
[pause]
Mike
That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it's ok! Look, it loves it here, its dancing with joy!
[Boo needs to 'go' badly and is struggling to hold it in]
Mike
I'll be right back with its door key.
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Henry J. Waternoose
James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.
Sulley
So would I, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose
Say, I could use your help with something.
Sulley
Anything, sir.
Henry J. Waternoose
You see, we've recently hired some new recruits, and frankly, they're... um...
Sulley
Inexperienced?
Henry J. Waternoose
Oh, they stink!
Sulley
Uh-huh.
Henry J. Waternoose
I thought you could drop by the simulator tomorrow and give them a little scare demonstration, show them what it takes to be our top scarer.
Sulley
I'll start with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl.
[Jumps and growls]
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Mike
Follow the sultry sound of my voice
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[Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer]
Mike
Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees, which is good news for you reptiles, and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... Work out that flab that's hanging over the bed! Get up, Sulley!
[honks a horn right in Sulley's face; Sulley wakes up and screams, then starts working out]
Sulley
I don't believe I ordered a wake-up call, Mikey.
Mike
Hey, less talk, more pain, marshmellow boy!
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Henry J. Waternoose
[Being arrested by the CDA]
I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now? The energy crisis will only get worse, because of you!
[the Doors close as Waternoose is dragged out]
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[Sulley enters the Scare Simulator room with Mike and Boo in her costume, willing to ask for help which can send Boo home, forgetting Waternoose had been expecting him]
Sulley
Mr. Waternoose?
Henry J. Waternoose
James! You're just in time. OK Gentleman. It's time for you to see how scaring really works.
[Mike picks up Boo and walks away]
Sulley
But sir, I just wanted to ask...
[the lights go out, as if it's nighttime, and the Simulator Child goes to sleep]
Boo
[Excited to watch Sulley]
Kitty!
Mike
No Boo. I wouldn't...
Henry J. Waternoose
Now, give us a a Great Big Roar.
Sulley
Sir, can I just...
Henry J. Waternoose
Roar!
Sulley
But sir...
Henry J. Waternoose
ROAR!
[Sulley without choice, lunges out at the Simulator Child and lets out a loud roar, causing it to scream. Little did he know that Boo was standing close by, watching in horror]
Henry J. Waternoose
[Applauds]
Well done James. Well done. Well Gentleman, I hope you've all learnt a valuable lesson...
[Sulley notices Boo run off crying, terrified from his roar]
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[from teaser trailer]
Mike
Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye.
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Mike
[Spotting Sulley while he's working out]
118. Do you have 119? Do I see 120? Oh, I don't believe it!
Sulley
I'm not even breaking a sweat.
Mike
Not you! Look! The new commercial's on.
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Mike
[while Sulley brushes teeth]
C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!
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Mike
[whilst he, Sulley and Boo are hanging from a door leading into the station of where they come from]
Sulley, what are we doing?
Sulley
We have to get Boo's door and find a station.
Mike
What a plan. Simple, yet insane.
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Mike
I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Sulley
Spoons?
Mike
That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek.
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[Mike and Sully have transported to Hawaii]
Mike
Why couldn't we have been banished here?
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Sulley
[singing to Boo to get her to stop crying]
Oh, he's a happy bear, and he's not crying, and neither should you, or we'll be in trouble, 'cause they're gonna find us...
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[running from Randall in the door vault, Sulley and Mike's shadows appear behind a Japanese paper screen]
Mike
Come on, it slides, it slides!
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Charlie
[Trying to reassure George, who is in crutches after too many encounters with the CDA]
Now, George, I know you can do this. I picked out an easy door for you, in Nepal. Nice, quiet Nepal.
George Sanderson
You know, you're right. Here, Take this.
[Give Charlie his crutches]
Charlie
Go get 'em, Georgie.
[as George walks to the door, Sulley bursts through, knocks George over]
Sulley
Gangway! Look out! Coming through! Sorry, George.
Charlie
Hey, you can't just...
[Sees a sock on George]
Charlie
Twenty-three nine...!
[George grabs Charlie, stuffs the sock in his mouth and tosses him into the door, then walks away humming happily]
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Boo
Lookit.
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[Mike complains to Sulley about Randall]
Mike
One of these days I am really... gonna let you teach that guy a lesson.
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[Ward runs out of a door, scared to tears]
Ward's Assistant
What happened?
Ward
The kid almost touched me. She got this close to me.
Ward's Assistant
She wasn't scared of you? She was only six.
Ward
[shakes his assistant] I could have been dead. I could have DIED.
Ward's Assistant
[slaps Ward] Keep it together, man.
Ward's Assistant
[whistles] Hey, we've get a dead door over here.
[Smitty and Needleman arrive with a Door Shredder, and place the door Ward went through into it]
Needleman
OK, Let her rip!
[the Door gets shredded, leaving only shards and a Door Knob]
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[Sully goes looking for Boo; Mike tries to talk him out of it]
Mike
Someone else will find the kid. I'll be their problem, not ours. She's out of our hair!
[they bump into an Invisible Randall]
Randall
[Turning Visible again] What are you two doing?
Monster
They're rehearsing a play.
Mike
[singing] She's out of our hair...!
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Randall
[to Sulley, hanging on from a door]
Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid, pathetic waste!
[starts stomping on Sulley's fingers]
Randall
You've been number one for too long, Sullivan. Now your time is up. And don't worry, I'll take good care of the kid.
[Just then Boo jumps on Randall and attacks him with a baseball bat; Sulley climbs back on and restrains Randall]
Boo
Roar! Roar!
Sulley
She's not scared of you any more.
Boo
Roar!
Sulley
Looks like you're out of a job.
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Mike
On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to Accounting, the fuchshia ones go to Purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Leave the puce.
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Henry J. Waternoose
What a day.
Sulley
It's just a rough patch, sir. Everyone knows you'll get us through it.
Henry J. Waternoose
Tell that to the board of directors.
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Mike
Scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, oop! The kid's awake!
[Sulley ducks down]
Mike
Okay, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, scary feet, kid's asleep!
[Sulley roars]
Mike
Twins! In a bunk bed!
[Sulley growls high, then low, then high then low again]
Mike
Darn I thought I had you with that one!
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Randall
So, how about this kid getting loose? Crazy, huh?
Sulley
Uh, yeah, crazy.
Randall
Word on the street is the kid has been traced to the factory. Know anything about that?
Sulley
Uh, no, uh...
Mike
No, no way. But if it was an inside job, I'd put my money on Waxford.
Randall
Waxford?
Mike
Yeah, works over in sector 6, he's got those shifty eyes.
Randall
Hey, Waxford!
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[Celia is hanging on to Mike while Sulley is dragging him]
Celia
Michael, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, we are through! You hear me? Through!
Mike
Okay, here's the truth. You know that kid they're looking for? Sulley let her in. We tried to get her back, but Waternoose had a secret plot, and now Randall's right behind us, and he's tring to kill us.
Celia
You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski?
Boo
[peeking from Sulley's shoulder]
Mike Wazowski!
[Celia screams and lets go]
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Mike
Just think about a few names for a second: Bigfoot. Loch Ness. The Abominable Snowman. They all have one thing in common, pal: Banishment! We could be next!
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Sulley
Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?
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Randall
I'm in the zone today, Sullivan. I'm gonna do some serious scaring, putting up some big numbers.
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Celia
[answering phone calls]
Monsters Inc., please hold. Monsters Inc., I'll connect you. Mrs. Scaremonger is on vacation. Would you like her voice mail?
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Mike
Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from?
[kid doesn't answer]
Mike
You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life.
[still no answer]
Mike
Of my life. But I love sports. Dodgeball was the best. I was the fastest one out there. Course, I was the ball. You see, I... was the ball. All right, kid.
[Mike swallows his microphone and after a few seconds burps it out louldy; kid laughs]
Mike
Thank you! You've been a wonderful audience. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress.
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Mike
You're the boss! You're the boss! You're the big, hairy boss!
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Sulley
The power's out. Make her laugh again.
Mike
All right, I got a move here, it'll bring down the house. Up!
[Does a backflip, lands on his crotch]
Sulley
Oh, sorry, she didn't see that.
Mike
What? What'd you do, forget to check if her stupid hood was up, you big dope?
Sulley
Uncle Mike, try not to yell in front of her. You know we still need her to laugh.
Mike
Right. He-he! Hey, Boo! Just kidding. Look!
[Slams the door on his face, making baby noises]
Mike
Funny, right? Huh? With the... These are the jokes, kid.
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Sulley
Boo!
[Boo falls into the trash can]
Sulley
No!
CDA Agent
Hey you!
[Sulley gasps]
CDA Agent
Halt! He's the one! The one's from the commercial! Affirmative. That's him. Can we get an autograph?
Sulley
[Relieved] Oh! Oh sure! No problem!
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[Deleted Scene]
Sulley
[Calling out] Hey Ted, Good Morning.
Rex
Rrroooaaarrr!
Unknown Offscreen Character
Cut!
[Camera pans out that Rex from the Toy Story Films, much larger, is standing right next to Mike and Sulley]
Rex
How was that? Was I scary? Do I get the part? Can I do it again? I can be taller.
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[after Randall makes one of his Scares while trying to take the lead past Sulley]
Fungus
Randall?
Randall
What?
[Randall has scored enough points to overtake Sulley and take the lead on the Leaderboard]
[a huge crowd forms around an overjoyed Randall to congratulate him, only for Sulley to overtake him and once again be at the top not long later]
[the crowd leaves, leaving Randall to continue being frustrated]
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[Mike and Sully are caught behind Boo's door]
CDA Agent
This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.
Mike
[Stepping out from behind the door with Boo's monster disguise costume] Okay, okay! You got us. Here we are, here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say.
[Takes Boo's sock out of his mouth and throws it at the CDA agents]
Mike
Catch!
CDA Agent
[as the others jump over the guy who gets the sock] 23-19!
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Celia
[wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA]
Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none!
[the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike]
Celia
I thought you cared about me.
Mike
Honey, please. Schmoopsie, I thought you liked sushi.
Celia
Sushi? Sushi? You think this is about sushi?
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Randall
[to Fungus, as he's still not at the top on the Leader board]
If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.
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Henry J. Waternoose
Well, Jerry, what's the damage so far?
Jerry the floor manager
We may actually make our quota today.
Henry J. Waternoose
Hmm, first time in a month.
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[Sully has just sent Boo back "home"]
Sulley
[referring to Waternoose]
I think we stopped him, Boo. You're safe now. You be a good girl, OK?
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[Deleted Scene]
Sulley
[Telling Boo, tucked in his bed, about Randall]
You think that he's gonna come through the closet and scare ya. It's empty, see...
[Opens up his closet, only to find Roz]
Roz
Guess who?
[Both Roz and Sulley laugh]
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[Randall whilst invisible hits Sulley with a Scream Canister, knocking him down, which terrifies Boo who hides out of the way in the corner]
Randall
You don't know how long I've waited to do that Sullivan!
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Sulley
No way, there's a scream shortage. We're walking.
Mike
No, come on, It's just-I... just...
[is pulled away from his car after a struggle and locks his car again]
Mike
I-I'll call ya!
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[From the Teaser Trailer]
[Spins in Circles]
[Growling is heard]
Mike
Oh, nice doggy. Nice *Big* Doggie.
[Mike yells, then Sulley opens it and pulls him back in in the nick of time]
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Sulley
[Hugging Boo, who wandered off with a Group of Little Monsters] Boo, I was so worried. Don't you ever run off like that again Young Lady.
Babysitter
Aww, what an affectionate father.
Sulley
Actually she's my Cousin's Sisters Daughter.
Baby Smitty
Mike Wazowski!
Mike
Hi there, now step aside kid.
[Smitty bites Mike's hand]
Mike
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[Boo laughs at seeing that, which causes the lights in the hallway to go out, and the Little Monsters begin to scream in panic]
Sulley
Stop making Boo laugh!
Mike
I didn't!
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Henry J. Waternoose
[from deleted scene]
You can't touch a child! They're toxic! If a kid ever got through one of our doors, the results would be catastrophic.
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1
Mike
[Boo is holding onto Mike's Teddy Bear, after Sulley tossed it at her]
OK, that's it, noone touches Little Mikey.
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Additional Voices
There's a kid here, a human kid!
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Monster Wife
Have a good day, sweetie.
Sweetie
You too, hon.
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Mike
[after seeing himself and Sulley on TV on the news promoting Monsters Incorporated. Phone rings]
Hello? I know! Hey, wasn't that great? Did the whole family see it?
[to Sulley]
Mike
It's your mom.
[Back on the phone]
Mike
Well, what can I say? The camera loves me!
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Sneezing Monster
Aw, Nuts.
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Blobby
Aw, Great.
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