TulleyI'll rip your lips off, and kiss my ass with them shits. I'll rip your tongue out, and lick my balls with it.
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Miles LoganDamn. What happened? Did you eat the whole time I was in there? Wait a minute, that's alright. I can adjust, it's the love that counts. I can adjust to a plus size woman, just more cushion for the pushing.
ShawnaJaniece! Your sad-ass sack of bones is here!
Miles LoganI apologize, you're her cousin. Can I buy you some cereal?
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Miles Logan[talking to Deacon]I know you don't want to go to jail in Mexico because nobody wants to go to jail in Mexico. They put all kinds of burritos in your ass.
Miles LoganHey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.
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Miles LoganPut your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
FBI Agent GrayAll right Detective Malone. Now the objective here is to have these individuals look upon you as if you were one of them, a member of the criminal underworld. So it's important that your actions, your speech, and your general mode of behavior is all congruent with their expectation of a fellow criminal.
Miles LoganOh, okay, I get it. S-sorta walk the walk.
FBI Agent GrayYou have to look, act, and even think like a criminal. And you're gonna have to change your speech patterns too. Most criminals like to use slang terminology, and profanity, and so forth, especially with regard to police and authority figures.
Miles LoganOh, you mean like, "Shut the hell up you d*ckless FBI..."?
Miles LoganWhy are you hitting mom-and-pop stores anyway? Look, you're a driver, man. You got skills, Tulley. You could be out there on the road, man, doing your shit!
TulleyWell, I'm desperate! 'Cause I need some money, too! And why the freak are we whispering?
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Miles Logan"Can't believe so much bad shit can happen on such a beautiful day."
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TulleyThat guy Logan owes me $50,000... If I don't get it soon, I'M TALKIN'.
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Miles LoganWhat are you gonna do with one shoelace? Floss your ass with it.
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[Miles looks at street signs, then the sign on the building]
Prison Guard #37One belt, one shoelace, one wallet containing twenty-two dollars.
Miles LoganOne shoelace? Yo, man. Do you know how much them shoes cost? One shoelace? I came in here with two. You took my shoelace? Did you take my shoelace, man?
Prison Guard #37You got two seconds to walk out that door. Sign out and leave my pen.
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Miles LoganCarlson. I've got something to tell you. I'm not from West Covina. I'm from Internal Affairs.
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Miles LoganDon't you ever get all up on this thing?
CarlsonI don't think I've ever gotten all up on anything, sir.
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Miles LoganAll right check this out: This is a Brigga 3300, toughest safe in the world. What's the first thing you do?