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Kinoafisha Films Holes Holes Movie Quotes

Holes Movie Quotes

Young Warden I'm tired of this, Grandpa...

Trout Walker [shouts] Well, that's too damn bad! You keep digging!

Young Warden Well, excuse me.

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Zero I'm not stupid, I know everyone thinks I am, I just don't like answering stupid questions.

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Mr. Pendanski D-I-G. What does that spell?

Zero [takes shovel and whacks Mr. Pendanski across the face with it] DIG.

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Mr. Sir I got a story for your Girl Scouts. Once upon a time there was a magical place where it never rained. The end.

[snickers scornfully]

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[repeated line]

Sam I can fix that.

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Madame Zeroni If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs, / The bark on the tree was as soft as the skies. / The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely, / And cries to the moon, / If only if only.

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Mr. Sir What're we gonna do?

The Warden Walker You'll do as I say.

[puts her hat on and leaves]

Mr. Pendanski What did she say?

Mr. Sir Not much.

Mr. Pendanski What do we do?

Mr. Sir You'll do as I say.

[puts his hat on and leaves]

Mr. Pendanski But you didn't say anything either.

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The Warden Walker Stanley, won't you just open it? Just let me see what's inside it, please!

Stanley Excuse me?

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Mr. Pendanski You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?

Stanley Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that's who it is.

Mr. Pendanski No, you.

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Madame Zeroni If you forget to come back for Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity!

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Mr. Pendanski No one cares about Hector Zeroni.

Stanley I do.

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Trout Walker [Trout appears, pointing a rifle at Kate] You got five seconds to tell me where you buried the lout!

Kissin' Kate Barlow I've been waitin' for you, Trout...

[she draws her pistol and aims. Trout hesitates, but then she lowers it]

Kissin' Kate Barlow I ain't gonna kill you.

[she throws the gun down, and Trout's wife picks it up]

Trout Walker Where's the loot?

Kissin' Kate Barlow There ain't no loot.

Trout Walker Don't give me that! You robbed every bank from Hell to Houston!

Linda Walker We saw you heading back with a shovel, Miss Katherine!

Kissin' Kate Barlow Linda Miller? Is that you?

Linda Walker I've been Linda Walker for the past thirteen years!

Trout Walker One!

Kissin' Kate Barlow Aw, Linda, you were such a good student... you must have married him for his money.

Trout Walker Two!

Linda Walker Well, it's all gone now! It dried up with the lake. Hasn't rained here since the day they killed Sam! Now you better tell him what he wants, he's a desperate man!

Trout Walker Three!

Kissin' Kate Barlow Go on, kill me.

Trout Walker [smiles crookedly] I ain't gonna kill you. But by the time I'm finished with you, you gonna wish you was dead.

Kissin' Kate Barlow [chuckles] I've been wishing I was dead for a long time.

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The Warden Walker This is my special nail polish. I make it myself. You Want to know my secret ingredient? Rattlesnake venom. I just love what it does to the coloring. It's perfectly harmless... when it's dry.

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Mr. Sir Stanley Yelnats... the Fourth?

Stanley Everyone in my family names their son Stanley, 'cause it's Yelnats backwards. It's this little... tradition.

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Zig-Zag Say, I didn't know Marion was a man's name.

Mr. Sir [embarrassed] It ain't.

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Magnet [about the dog he stole] I would have made it out, too... if my pocket didn't start barkin'.

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Magnet Hey. Maybe it'll rain for 40 days and 40 nights, like it did in the Bible.

Armpit Yeah, maybe we'll have to build an arc.

Squid We'll get two of every animal...

X-Ray Yeah, two scorpions, two rattlesnakes, two yellow spotted lizards all that.

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Kissin' Kate Barlow The lake goes around for miles. You, and your children, and your children's children, will dig for a hundred years, and you will never find it.

[she picks up a yellow lizard]

Kissin' Kate Barlow Start digging, Trout.

[She puts the lizard to her arm. It bites her, and she dies, laughing softly]

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Mr. Pendanski Good morning, Theodore!

Armpit Man, it's Armpit! I don't know no fool named Theodore.

Mr. Pendanski Well, I don't know no fool named Armpit.

[Hands him water]

Mr. Pendanski Here's your water, who-ever-you-are.

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The Warden Walker I am surrounded by cow turds.

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Magnet Maybe he found Zero. Maybe they're still alive.

X-Ray Yeah, and maybe the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy are still alive.

Squid Maybe my mom'll stop drinkin' and my dad'll come back.

Twitch Man when Caveman stole that truck... oh...

Zig-Zag That was awesome.

Armpit Yeah, Caveman did have style.

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Zig-Zag [singing] You got to go and dig those holes. With broken hands and withered souls. Emancipated from all you know. You got to go and dig those holes.

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Mr. Sir There ain't nothing down there. We woulda found it by now.

Mr. Pendanski I wouldn't tell the queen bee that.

Mr. Sir I ain't on stupid pills!

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Mr. Pendanski It smells like puke from a mule been 'ruminating on asparagus for two weeks.

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Mr. Sir You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at Camp Green Lake.

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Madame Zeroni You should go to America. That's where my son is. That's where your future is, not Myra Menke. Her head's as empty as a flowerpot!

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Stanley Where's a person go to the bathroom around here?

Magnet Pick a hole, any hole

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Twitch I never mean to steal anything, but when I see a nice car, I just start twitching. You think I'm jumpy now, you should've seen me behind the wheel of that Mustang convertible. Whoo! Vroom!

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Twitch Jaguar, that's a nice car.

Magnet Don't even think about it, Twitch.

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Zig-Zag What color was it's blood?

Stanley I-I don't know. I couldn't tell.

Zig-Zag I wish I'd a seen it. Bam!

Magnet If Mr. Sir didn't shoot it, Stanley, you'd be in the hole.

Zig-Zag Don't you know each one's got exactly 11 spots?

Squid Yeah, man, but if you ever get close enough to count 'em, you're dead.

Armpit Look, it's the lizards we're workin' for, man. We build their houses for 'em. I mean, yesterday I saw 10 of 'em in one hole.

Squid We ain't diggin' for no lizards

Armpit What we diggin' for then man?

X-Ray Like Mr. Sir said, we diggin' to build some character.

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Magnet Nobody messes with the Caveman.

X-Ray Did you see the Caveman back there?

Stanley I don't wanna mess with anybody.

Zig-Zag Come on, Caveman.

Stanley ...I'm Caveman?

Zero Better than Barfbag.

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[last lines]

Stanley I guess you have to fill in the rest of the holes yourself.

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Sam Is something wrong?

Kissin' Kate Barlow Oh, Sam, my heart is breaking.

Sam I can fix that.

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Zero Did they have red X's on them?

Squid You got Zero to talk.

Armpit Hey yo, what else can you do Zero?

[Zero looks at his food]

Stanley Yeah. Yeah they did.

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The Warden Walker [while all the boys are digging out a deep trench, Armpit tries to dupe the Warden into thinking that he has found something which is obviously nothing more than a recently broken TV nob] Are you trying to be funny, or do you just think I'm stupid?

Armpit No, ma'am. I wasn't trying to be funny.

The Warden Walker Excuse me?

Mr. Sir You know something, Armpit? Your little joke has just cost you a week of shower privileges.

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Stanley Man how did she know my name?

Zig-Zag Oh, man, she's got the whole place wired. Oh yeah, she has these little cameras and microphones all over the place. In the tent, in the rec room, in the showers.

Stanley They're not in the showers.

Squid Oh don't listen to him. I read his file. It said he suffers from, um, oh. acute paranoia.

Magnet So I guess that means she watches me everyday, huh.

Armpit Man, he said cameras and microphones, not microscopes.

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Stanley [Hands Zero an onion] Here, eat this.

Zero What is it?

Stanley It's a hot-fudge sundae, just eat it.

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Stanley I feel really awkward with you reading over my shoulder like that, so...

Zero I can't read.

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Stanley It's destiny.

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[repeated line]

The Warden Walker Excuse me?

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Mr. Pendanski They all have their little nicknames, however I prefer to use the names their parents gave them,the names society will recognize them by.

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Judge I could send you to jail and not lose one bit of sleep over it. But I don't know what good that would do. There is currently a vacancy at Camp Green Lake. They help troubled youth build character. The choice is yours: Camp Green Lake or jail.

Stanley Uh... well, um... I've never been to camp before.

Judge Eighteen months - Camp Green Lake, son.

[bangs gavel]

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Stanley's Mother I feel so sorry for the old lady who lived in the shoe, 'cause it must've smelled real bad.

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Stanley Hector, I'm glad you stole those shoes and threw 'em on my head.

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Mr. Sir [his face has a huge scar] I think I look kinda purty, don't you?

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Stanley You know what I keep thinkin' of?

Zero What?

Stanley How fine this Mary Lou must've looked like in a bikini.

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Stanley I stole a pair of shoes.

Squid From a store or were they on someone's feet?

Zig-Zag No, he killed the guy first, just left out that little detail, huh?

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Stanley Look, it says KB.

Zig-Zag Yeah... yeah that's Keith Barrenger.

Squid Who?

Zig-Zag He was in my math class.

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Texas Ranger #2 Marion Sevillo!

Mr. Sir [freezes] Oh, crap.

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Mr. Sir Yeah, keep running! There ain't gonna be no Yelnats the fifth!

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[first lines]

Stanley [after being hit by a falling pair of shoes] All my life, I seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. My grandpa, Stanley Yelnats Il, says it's all because of this 150-year-old curse. Now, I don't really believe in the family curse, but when things go wrong, it kind of helps if you can blame it on something. And for me, things went wrong a lot. Grandpa says our destiny is sealed. Could a pair of shoes falling from the sky really be part of my destiny?

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Zero What do you thinks up there?

Stanley I don't know, a great big Frosty-Freeze?

Zero Good, 'cause I could use a hot fudge sundae.

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[X-ray takes Stanley's shovel]

Magnet You picked up X-Ray's shovel. It's shorter than the rest of 'em.

Squid Smaller shovel, smaller hole.

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Zig-Zag Did you tell him about the lizards?

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Mr. Pendanski I'll have the chicken tenders, Warden.

[falls down again]

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Zero You know, those stars look like a shovel to me.

Stanley Exactly... Hector, I feel lucky.

Zero [laughing] The onions have gone to your head.

Stanley What do you say we dig one more hole?

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Stanley [looking at "God's Thumb"] Say, what does that look like to you?

[he and Zero hold out their thumbs, and look at each other]

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Stanley Yelnats III I learn from failure.

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Mr. Sir There's lizards, hot sun, and Rattlesnakes.

Stanley Rattlesnakes?

Mr. Sir If you don't bother them they wont bother you and ya wont get bitten and die. Usually.

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[first lines]

[Barfbag walks towards a rattlesnake]

X-Ray Hey, Barfbag. What are you doing?

[Barfbag takes his shoe and sock off and steps on the snake, which bites him]

Barfbag [yells] Aaaaaah!

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The Warden Walker Is that all you jackasses can dig?

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The Warden Walker How about you dig, and Caveman can fill the canteens? So what do you want to do?

Mr. Pendanski I'll fill the canteens.

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Armpit Look at the little fishes... I mean cave pictures.

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Zig-Zag He's not going to take it. Come here - eat the cookie.

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Mr. Sir This ain't a girl scout camp!

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Mr. Pendanski Stanley, if you've got any questions, just ask Theodore. Theodore will be your mentor. Got that, Theodore?

Armpit Yeah, man. Whatever, dude.

Mr. Pendanski I'm depending on you. It should be no labor to be nice to your neighbor.

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Madame Zeroni Morris Menke is a shmuck!

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Mr. Sir Everything turns to callous eventually. That's life!

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Mr. Sir All life begins with water. So think of it this way, I'm givin' you life. Say thank you.

Stanley Thank you, Mr. Sir.

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[Stanley arriving in the desert]

Stanley So. Where's the lake?

Guard Hey. What did I just tell you? Don't be a wise guy!

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The Warden Walker Dr. Pendanski, drive X-ray back to camps. Give him double shower tokens and a snack. But first, fill everyone's canteen!

Mr. Pendanski I already filled them!

The Warden Walker Excuse me?

Mr. Pendanski I had already filled them when you drove up in the car.

The Warden Walker Excuse me, did I ask you when you lasted filled them?

Mr. Pendanski No, you didn't but...

The Warden Walker Excuse me, now these fine boys have been working hard. Don't you think it just might be possible they have taken a drink since you filled their canteens?

Mr. Pendanski It's possible.

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Mr. Sir I ain't on stupid pills.

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