Hollywood Ending Movie Quotes
Ellie
We didn't communicate.
Val
We had sex!
Ellie
Yes, we had sex. But we never talked.
Val
Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
You know, I would kill for this job, but the people I want to kill are the people offering me the job.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
You know, part of me wants it so badly.
Lori
And the other part?
Val
Also wants it. That's the problem.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ellie
Our marriage wasn't going anywhere.
Val
Where do you want it to go? Where do marriages go? After a while they just lay there. That's the thing about marriages.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
A tenth of a point after quadruple break-even! You are really a shark, Al.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
Thank God the French exist.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ed
[Reading audience response card]
Would you recommend this film to a friend? Not unless I was friendly with Hitler...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Lori
From making love with you?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
For me, the nicest thing about masturbation is afterward, the cuddling time.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hal
I said from the start to use Harold Pappas!
Val
Pappas is a hack! Pappas, Pappas is safe, but he's uninspired. I can't work with him!
Hal
Then you should bow out now!
Val
I said I can't work with him - I didn't say I wouldn't work with him.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ed
Look, I love Val. I love him. But with all due respect... he's a raving, incompetent psychotic.
Ellie
He's not incompetent.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ellie
You had all the symptoms but not the disease.
Val
You used to think I was creative and original.
Ellie
I still do, as a filmmaker. Its when you became creative as a hypochondriac - that was it.
Val
Hey, all those attacks were for real.
Ellie
Oh yeah?
Val
Yes!
Ellie
The Black Plague, Val? An allergy to oxygen? Elm blight? Only trees get elm blight - elm trees.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Male Party Guest #1
Hitchcock was an artist, but, he was commercial.
Val
You say that like it's a good thing?
Female Party Guest
No. Well, you have to be both. I mean he knew what he was doing, you know. So, you know, in order to make movies you have to think about the audience. You have to - otherwise you're just making movies for yourself. It's like, eh, like artistic masturbation.
Male Party Guest #2
That's right. That's right. You're a narcissist.
Val
Well, I'm a classic narcissist then.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Al Hack
I'm telling you, Val, you're going to muddle your way through until your sight returns.
Val
But, Al, I can't direct a picture. I'm blind!
Al Hack
Have you seen some of the pictures out there?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Ellie has called Lori a wind-up doll]
Val
That wind-up doll happens to have a Ph.D.
Ellie
In what? The history of gym?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
...driving around his 1938 Vintage Roadster. If someone saw me in a vintage '38, they'd think I was Himmler!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
We once had a discussion about music and he threatened to push me down a flight of stairs.
Psychiatrist
What happened?
Val
It worked. He pushed me down a flight of stairs.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Al Hack
You don't have a brain tumor.
Val
Al, with all due respect, I have to hear that from someone who went to a greater medical school than the William Morris Agency.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
She's living with a guy the best you can say about him is that sometimes he returns phone calls.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ellie
You were on the cutting edge of everything.
Val
So, how did I go from the cutting edge to the buttering edge?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
I came to hold out an olive branch.
Tony Waxman
"An olive branch"? What is this, the Israeli parliament?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ellie
I hear that she's all sugar and sweetness and gets into your good graces and then - Wham! You know, she kept telling Sean Madigan how she loved all of his films and she was a big fan and how he was a great, I don't know, unique American artist. And then in the profile she did, she disemboweled him.
Val
If you happen to fall for that kind of flattery, you know, I can handle it, though.
Ellie
Please! You couldn't handle Shirley Temple.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lori
What are you doing home?
Val
I quit.
Lori
No, Val, not again! You quit over nothing again?
Val
Not over nothing.
Lori
What?
Val
I quit over a big thing.
Lori
What?
Val
They fired me. I thought that was big enough to quit over.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lori
I'm natural, classes will ruin me!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
I got the last plane out of Toronto. Hey, have you ever seen Canada? Now I know why there's no crime up there.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Val has just seen the terrible work of his latest film he directed while blind]
Val
Call Dr. Kevorkian.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
Pass! I'm not going to work with Hal Yeager and Ellie. You gotta be kidding. He's a Philistine and she's a Quisling. Its a religious conflict.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Sharon Bates
If I act with a fine director, like yourself, I - there's nothing I wouldn't do sexual for him.
Val
Oh, well you should, you should take a full page ad in the DJ magazine stating that because you'll never stop working then. Can, is it possible to - to open the door for me because of all the heavy breathing, it has steamed my glasses.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ellie
What are you going to do? Are you, are you going to edit it blind, too? Put in the music blind? Go to the premiere blind? At least you won't be able to read the reviews.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
It's funny, because, my - unfulfilled life dream is that you and I would live in Paris together.
Ellie
You know, I was willing and you where the one that always lost your nerve.
Val
Well, it's funny, that seems like so long ago now. Its amazing how things change, isn't it?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hal
Its not easy sitting through three hours of pure adulation.
Ellie
Frankly, I'll tell you, I don't, I don't know how you can do it.
Hal
Why? You don't want to rob them the opportunity of, you know, demonstrating their gratitude.
Ellie
Yeah, no wonder we both have to drink so much at these affairs.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
I've responsibility, Al, to Ellie and even to Hal.
Al Hack
You have responsibility to yourself.
Val
You know, you have agent's ethics. I can't go by you.
Al Hack
Don't hit me with oxymorons at this time we're in a crisis.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Male Party Guest #1
We were just talking about Alfred Hitchcock. Truffaut says that "Notorious" is his best film.
Val
I agree! I agree. A masterpiece.
Lori
What are you talking about? You hate that - he hates that movie. The ending makes you crazy!
Val
Yes. Cause its a masterpiece. Every time I watch that movie, when Cary Grant is is carrying Ingrid Bergman down the staircase, I always think that the Germans are gonna catch them. No matter how many times I see it! I think the Germans are gonna get 'em.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
I love ya, scum bag.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Al Hack
A hint of this can't get out. You will direct a hit picture. Sometimes God works in strange ways.
Val
Like Job.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
What the hell am I doing in Canada? Lori, they got moose up here. Moose. Are moose carnivorous?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
Hal's not gonna know. You know, unless you tell him, you know during pillow talk or something. You know, you guys probably don't have pillow talk, he probably has sex with you while he's on the cellular phone.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Val
At the Plaza Hotel. For God's sake, I got the bill. You had the escargot that afternoon. It's so disgusting. Sex and snails with that roast beef from Beverly Hills.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
