Lion
Hey Max, you heard the story of the scarecrow?
Max Millan
No.
Lion
You think crows are scared of a scarecrow?
Max Millan
Yeah, I think they're scared. Yeah why?
Lion
No, crows are not scared, believe me.
Max Millan
The god damn crows are scared.
Lion
No, crows are laughin'.
Max Millan
Nah, that's bullshit...
Lion
That's right, the crows are laughin'. Look, the farmer puts out a scarecrow, right, with a funny hat on it, got a funny face. The crows fly by, they see that, it strikes 'em funny, makes 'em laugh.
Max Millan
The god damn crows are laughin'?
Lion
That's right, they're laughin' their asses off. And then they say, "Well, that ol' farmer Jo down there, he's a pretty good guy. He made us laugh, so he won't bother him any more."
Max Millan
The god damn crows are laughin'...
Lion
Ohh, they laughin', woooo!
Max Millan
I gotta tell ya somethin', that's the most hare-brained idea I've ever heard.
Lion
It's true, they're laughin' their asses off.
Max Millan
The crows are laughin'... I guess the fish are reciting poetry...
Lion
I guess so.
Max Millan
Uh huh... and the uh, pigs are playin' banjo? And the dogs would be, let's see, uh... playin' hockey. And the uh... the uh...
Lion
Crows are laughin'.
Max Millan
Crows are laughin', right. Ya know, in the joint I've heard some tales, oh boy, golly I've heard some tall tales. But at least those guys had the decency to admit that it was bullshit, you know what I mean? They actually took pride, pride in that it was bullshit. But the crows are laughin' huh? I mean you're not playin' with a full deck man, you got one foot in the grave beyond.