Gummo Movie Quotes
Solomon
[voiceover]
Life is beautiful. Really, it is. Full of beauty and illusions. Life is great. Without it, you'd be dead.
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Tummler
[voiceover]
I knew a guy who was dyslexic, but he was also cross-eyed, so everything came out right.
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Tummler
I'm pretty smart, if I say so myself.
Huntz
Why is that?
Tummler
This afternoon, we walked into a fruit store, and the clerk thinks I'm some out-of-town hick. "Those apples will be two bucks each," he tells me. That's where I outsmarted him. I pass over a five. And as he's about to give me a dollar change, I say, "Keep it, we're even. On the way in, I stepped on a grape."
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Solomon
[voiceover]
Tummler sees everything. Some say he's downright evil. He's got what it takes to be a legend. He's got a marvelous persona.
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Tummler's Father
That little girl from Salt Lake City / Two quart legs and two rubber titties / Loves electricity, but she burns off gas / Got a V8 pussy and a Cadillac ass.
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[first lines]
Solomon
[voiceover]
Xenia, Ohio. Xenia, Ohio. A few years ago, a tornado hit this place. It killed the people, left and right. Dogs died. Cats died. Houses were split open, and you could see necklaces hanging from branches of trees. People's legs and neck bones were sticking out. Oliver found a leg on his roof. A lot of people's fathers died, and were killed by the great tornado. I saw a girl fly through the sky, and I looked up her skirt. Her skull was smashed. And some kids died. My neighbor was killed in that house. He used to ride bikes and three-wheelers. They never found his head. I always thought that was funny. People died in Xenia. Before dad died, he had a bad case of the diabetes.
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Tummler
When I sit down to eat, I get sexy! When I go to bed, I get hungry! I saw a man lying in the street, and I said, "Can I help you?" He said, "No. I just found a parking space. Now I'm waiting for my wife to go buy a car!"
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[Tummler is aiming his BB gun at a cat]
Solomon
You got this one?
Tummler
Yep.
Solomon
[looks at the cat, and lowers Tummler's BB gun]
Don't kill the bitch. It's a house cat.
[the cat runs off]
Tummler
It's a lesbian cat. You can tell.
Solomon
Looks like my mom.
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Solomon
[voiceover]
These two kids I know, these two brothers. They murdered their parents. They both claim to be raised as Jehovah Witnesses. They came to school in really nice shorts and polished tennis sneakers. And their shirts were always collared with buttons, and their hair was always slicked back. And their teeth were always brushed, and their shirts and pants were always ironed, and their shoes were never scuffed up or anything like that. They seemed to have a wonderful life. I don't know what went wrong.
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Eddie
I take Ritalin, this kind of prescription drug. It's not like a drug that fucks you up. If anything, it makes you normal.
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Cowboy #1
This shitty-ass rabbit stinks!
Cowboy #2
I know.
Cowboy #1
He smells like pussy! He smells like an asshole!
Cowboy #2
[to Bunny Boy, the "rabbit"]
Hey, motherfucker!
Cowboy #1
Smells like wetback dick!
Cowboy #2
They smell like a pound of bullshit!
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Solomon
Do you love me?
Cassiday
Yes.
Solomon
Do you think I'm attractive?
Cassiday
No. You look fine just the way you are - skinny.
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Tummler
Know what I'm doing tomorrow?
Solomon
What?
Tummler
Going to an insane asylum.
Solomon
Insane asylum?
Tummler
Gonna get me a raving beauty.
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Tummler
[voiceover]
Without wood, there'd be no America. No ships to bring the pilgrims across the ocean. No log cabins, no schoolhouses, no churches, no covered wagons, no railroad ties, no cigar store Indians, no nothin'.
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Darby
Foot-Foot, where you been? You smell like a dookie, girl.
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Solomon
[voiceover]
My father worked the late shift as a bathroom attendant. My father was mugged on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. For the rest of his days on earth, my father never celebrated this holiday.
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Tummler
This baker, had gravy on his vest, gravy on his tie, gravy on his pants, gravy all over him. So he went to his grave, with gravy on his vest, gravy on his tie, gravy on his pants, gravy all over him. That dirty old man!
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Cowboy #1
Damn you, rabbit! You smell like fuckin' piss!
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Boy on Couch
I had a lesbian midwife who gave birth to my mother, while I was born through my mother's womb.
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Boy on Couch
She sprouted a fucking moustache.
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Solomon
Is she dead?
Tummler
She's alive on that machine.
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Midget
I can't shoot ball like Michael Jordan can... but that's alright, though, you know? I'm also gay.
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Tummler
[voiceover]
His dad never gave a crap. Not even at the end of his game. It was scary to see him despondent like that. His dad didn't care for mom much either, or the little doggy. He started going to church, and he started listening to the gospels. It was expected when he robbed the neighbors. He took their wine, and he took some rings, and fine jewelry. I think he got a fur coat as well. When he had a kid, he didn't think to watch his ways. He thought the same as his daddy.
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Cowboy #1
He looks like a queer rabbit!
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Skinhead #1
Why don't you gimme them shoes?
Skinhead #2
'Cause they're new, and I don't give you new shoes.
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