Genius
You know something? I love him too.
Danny McGuire
Yeah?
Genius
You know why?
Danny McGuire
Why?
Genius
Because he's dumber than me.
Danny McGuire
Dumber than I.
Genius
Okay. Then he's dumber than the both of us.
[Danny winces]
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John Coudair
All right, I'm trying not to be excited. What would you do if your youth should walk in through that door?
Cornelia Jackson
I'd put braces on its teeth.
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Pop
Say, maybe if you'd had a horse under ya' over there in North Africa instead of one of them there tanks, you wouldn't have got shot up the way you was and sent home... Where'd it get ya', Danny?
Danny McGuire
In Libya.
Pop
Well, it don't show a bit.
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Cornelia Jackson
That one isn't a girl, John. She's a leaping thyroid!
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Genius
[From the song "Who's Complaining?" which dealt with food rationing during World War Two]
"Because of Axis trickery, my coffee now is chicory, and I can rarely purloin a sirloin... No complaining, through the campaigning. Who cares if the carrots are few? I'll feed myself on artichokes, until that Nazi party chokes, so long as they don't ration, my passion, for you!"
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Rusty Parker
Well, he might not even like me.
Genius
Did you ever see a man that didn't?
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Danny McGuire
You've been meeting so many people lately, I guess you forgot what I look like. I'm the man with the whip, remember?
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Cornelia Jackson
[after being repeatedly interrupted and bumped into by cast members and kitchen staff backstage at Danny McGuire's nightclub]
Wouldn't it be simpler if we just laid down and let them walk all over us?
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Cornelia Jackson
This mania you have for peering at these creatures in their native haunts is the - well, I should know after all these years, I can't change you. Is this one worth going to Brooklyn to see?
John Coudair
Where on earth is that?
Cornelia Jackson
I think you take a bridge to get there.
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Rusty Parker
I suppose you've noticed that I'm *just* so full of animation and everything is just impossible for me to sit still a minute. My grandmother used to say it's because my *glands* weren't right.
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Danny McGuire
[indicates Noel Wheaton]
This gentleman has been in the theater a good many years.
[to Wheaton]
Danny McGuire
Now, you've been in my theater a good many years too. Why don't you be a good boy and scram?
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Genius
Genius, Rusty Parker, Danny McGuire: [being served raw oysters] Come on, pearl!
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Noel Wheaton
That's my one virtue. I have nice friends.
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Genius
You probably know what you're doin', Mr. Coudair. But that was a pretty swell thing those kids had. Certainly glad I'm not the one that broke it up, I couldn't sleep nights.
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Rusty Parker
Rusty Parker, Maurine Martin, Chorus Girls: [singing] All we're saying is what you know, That glamour is a woman's show, The show most people like to view, Is evident in burlesque. The show must go on! The show must go on!
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Chorus Boys
[singing] Soldiers and civilians, People by the millions, Want to see the perfect Cover Girl, So I've taken lots of, Candid camera shots of, Beauty, my duty, There's nothing like perfection, So, in that connection, I present my perfect Cover Girl...
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Chef at Danny McGuire's
Mr. McGuire, that newspaper woman is eating my precious food. She's doing a story on what kind of food makes the figure of Rusty Parker!
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Rusty Parker
I get so tired, Danny. This way it takes so long before you get anywhere. If you can get there quicker, why shouldn't you?
Danny McGuire
Look, Chicken, when you get there quick, you're out quick. Easy get, easy lose. I've never seen it fail. You gotta work for what you get. You're gonna be a great star, Rusty. But, you're gonna get there on your feet, not your face. Oh, Shortcut Susie!
Rusty Parker
Oh, Hardway McGuire!
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Danny McGuire
We're a wonderful pair.
Rusty Parker
Aren't we though.
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Rusty Parker
A kind of an amazing thing happened last night, Danny. It's no use my trying to explain it to you; because, I - I can't explain it to me! I don't suppose you understand what I mean at all, do you?
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Genius
If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times, you don't get there on the steps; you get there on your - but, I suppose it all depends on what you're after. Day and night! Night and day! All I do is work and slave and try to keep this place with it's head under water. What happens? My number comes up, the joint goes to pieces! People sittin' on the steps, chef quittin', noisy kitchen, girls always gabbin'. Yakety-yakety-yakety. It's not that I'm complaining or anything.
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Genius
[singing]
At breakfast time after I get up, If there's little on the breakfast set up, For the little I'm served, I'm well repaid, By the little that's on the serving maid...
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Genius
[singing]
And at the office during the duration, What a pleasure giving dictation, T'ain't so bad in the land of the free, Being a dictator like me!
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Reporter Asking About Flowers
Which one of you was she in love with before she met Mr. Wheaton?
Genius
It was I; but, I used to beat her. How are you?
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John Coudair
Have that girl come and see me tomorrow, Stonewall.
Cornelia Jackson
Well, I'm glad you liked her. I thought she was quite unusual looking, for a blonde.
John Coudair
No, no. I mean the one with red hair.
Cornelia Jackson
Oh, the red hair. The red hair!
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Maribelle Hicks
[singing]
No drive in the country for me after dark, My limit is just once around Central Park...
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John Coudair as a Young Man
This was meant to be. Can't you see that? You don't belong in a dingy little hole like this. You should be surrounded by luxury, beauty, elegance. I can give you these things, Maribelle. Just climb aboard my magic carpet - and away we'll go.
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Joe
I think it's a fake! I don't think pearls come from oysters. I don't think pearls come from oysters!
Genius
How long since you left Harvard?
Joe
Neva heard of it. I beg you to be reasonable. How could an oyster give birth to a pearl?
Danny McGuire
How could an oyster give birth to an oyster?
Rusty Parker
Hey, that's something to think about.
Genius
You know what I say? They can live their lives and I'll live mine.
Danny McGuire
When? I want to see that.
Joe
I don't.
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Danny McGuire
Danny McGuire, Rusty Parker, Genius: [singing] What if it rains and it pours? It only rains out of doors! Let every frown disappear, And you'll find that tomorrow's here!
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Genius
Now, you two say good night like you mean it.
Danny McGuire
Good night, Chicken.
Rusty Parker
Good night, Danny.
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Danny McGuire
You're a genius in everything but minding your own business, aren't you? A girl's got a right to make up her mind about her own life, hasn't she? Why didn't you let her tear up her own telegram?
Genius
Things like this that make me a genius! Ain't they?
Danny McGuire
Wait till the landlady sees the hall.
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John Coudair
Well, you have ambitions to be a Cover Girl?
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John Coudair
All right, Stonewall, let's get to work.
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Rusty Parker
I suppose you're finished with me.
John Coudair
Finished with you? My dear child, we're just beginning with you. Just climb aboard my magic carpet and away we'll go!
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Danny McGuire
[singing]
Put me to the test, lady, Just make your request, And anything that you desire, Is yours.
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Danny McGuire
What are you crying about, Chicken?
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Noel Wheaton
Miss Parker, can't we go to your dressing room and talk?
Rusty Parker
Well, you see, I dress with seven other girls.
Noel Wheaton
You dress with seven other girls?
Rusty Parker
Yes and they talk a lot and get dressed and undressed and things like that.
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Cornelia Jackson
Wouldn't it be simple if we just laid down and let them walk over us?
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Noel Wheaton
I guess my trumpet was kinda outta tune?
Cornelia Jackson
I thought I heard a sour note.
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Rusty Parker
[singing]
Chills run up and down my spine, Aladdin's Lamp is mine, A dream I dreamed was not denied me...
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Noel Wheaton
I've tried everything this side of kidnapping. I...
Cornelia Jackson
What is this side of kidnapping?
Noel Wheaton
Please don't be humorous.
Cornelia Jackson
You're humorous! Both of you. You're trying to do something you'll never do. Lure a girl away from a guy she loves - with things. Well, it won't work - and I'm just dame enough to be glad of it. What do you think of that?
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Rusty Parker
Me? Stay in Brooklyn? For heaven's sake, why did you think I'd stay in Brooklyn - after all I went through to get out of it. For heaven's sake, what do you think I am? A vicious circle?
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Rusty Parker
I looked like that? No wonder you threw me out! I'm not a very good actress, am I?
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Rusty Parker
What do you think I am, a vicious circle?
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Jim
Those little dames can sure grip, can't they, Danny.
Danny McGuire
The bigger the grip, the better the army, Jim. And there, my friend, is a great little army.
Jim
You're not kiddin'!
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Chorus Girl
[to Maurine]
Your grapes are so sour I can smell 'em from here.
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Rusty Parker
How could this get you into the big time? Getting your face on a magazine?
Maurine Martin
Listen, a Cover Girl's face can unlock any door in this town. So, I've got a face, I'm gonna use it!
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Maurine Martin
Does - Danny know you came?
Rusty Parker
Well, I - didn't tell him, if that's what you mean.
Maurine Martin
He's gonna be sore at me; but, you, eh gosh, he'll cut you up in little pieces!
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Cornelia Jackson
She looks relaxed. If only you gals could realize how important that is - to be quiet and relaxed.
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Cornelia Jackson
[after close examination]
Nice teeth. Well, keep your nightlife down and your hopes up. You may hear from us.
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Cornelia Jackson
What is a new face, anyway? I keep hearing about them all the time; but, I've never seen one.
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Cornelia Jackson
We don't think you know what you want.
John Coudair
I know exactly what I want. I want a girl with a story in her eyes.
Cornelia Jackson
Drawing room or smoking room?
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John Coudair
What does a young girl think about when she's going down the aisle to be married. That's the look I want. That young, wondering, misty look.
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Rusty Parker
Oh, how I hate oysters!
Genius
Ain't they repulsive?
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Maribelle Hicks
[singing]
He took me out for walks and now he was so nice, He always used to kiss me - on the same place twice, Often in the park we would sit and spoon, And I was oh so happy...
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Danny McGuire
This puts me in a grave spot, Chicken. If I'm sorry nothing came of it, I'm a liar. If I'm glad, I'm a heel. Where do we go from here?
Rusty Parker
Dancing around the world, Danny - on my feet.
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