Holiday in Handcuffs Movie Quotes

David Martin I hope you aren't expecting a lot from Santa. A federal offense probably puts you on the naughty list this year.

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[first lines]

Trudie [narrating] I'm not crazy. I'm a long way from crazy. Doing one crazy thing does not make a person crazy, though I have to admit this isn't how I expected to be spending my Christmas... and I'm sure it's not how David Martin planned on spending his.

[to David who is walking down a snow-covered road in the middle of nowhere]

Trudie So, you've been walking for what, about an hour? And you've gone exactly 1.8 miles and the nearest gas station is 20 miles away - you do the math. Look, why don't you come back to the house, we'll make some hot chocolate, okay?

[David climbs into Trudie's car]

David Martin You... are... the devil!

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Trudie There may not be such a thing as a perfect job, a perfect life or a perfect family, but there is such a thing as a perfect moment. So I take back what I said. Doing one crazy thing probably does make you crazy, but it also can make you happy.

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[Trudie attempts to abduct David using Taj's antique pistol]

David Martin What the hell is that?

Trudie It's a gun.

David Martin Are you sure?

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Trudie Oh, Lucy, I completely blew the interview. I can't believe I have to go home today; there's going to be no place to hide. My mother wanted this to be a special Christmas so she rented a cabin in the middle of nowhere. We're going to be trapped like "The Shining."

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Trudie I still have one more chance for survival - Nick's coming with me.

Taj Table 2 wants their check. Table 2.

Lucy What? That's a little fast, isn't it?

Trudie Well, it's been a couple of months. Besides I have nothing to offer these people - no husband, no grandchildren. My dad even thinks I'm a lesbian.

Lucy So you're using Nick to get your parents off your back.

Trudie Yes - No! He's just great at first impressions. I don't know what you have against him.

Lucy I guess elitist jackasses aren't my type; they aren't yours, either.

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[Lucy is wearing toy reindeer antlers]

Jessica Ah, you, Blitzen.

Lucy Excuse you?

Jessica I'm looking for my boyfriend - handsome, nice dimples...