The King's Man Movie Quotes
Duke of Oxford
Reputation is what people think of you. Character is what you are.
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Duke of Oxford
Real power is not found running off to war. Real power lies in understanding who it is you're truly fighting, and how they can be defeated.
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Duke of Oxford
Throughout time, our people robbed, lied, and killed. Until one day, we found ourselves... noble men. But that nobility never came from chivalry. It came from being tough and ruthless.
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Rasputin
I only make decisions when my stomach is full or my balls are empty.
Duke of Oxford
Well, thank God dinner is being served.
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The Shepherd
Let's end this as gentlemen! After all, manners maketh man.
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Rasputin
Are you waiters or Englishmen? Whatever you are, get me a fucking drink.
Duke of Oxford
Are you a monk or a ballet dancer? I see you've mastered the Beryozka glide. Why don't you glide over there and get me a fucking drink?
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[At Kingsman Tailors]
Duke of Oxford
All of us here today are united, sadly, in losing our sons and friends in this terrible war. What happened to this generation of young men must never happen again. I believe the terms of Versailles are too onerous, too extreme, and could precipitate another war. What the world needs is an organisation that can channel its resources towards preserving peace and protecting life. An independent intelligence agency operating at the highest level of discretion, above the politics and bureaucracy of government-run spy organisations. To that end, I have acquired this shop. And I propose that we become the founding members of... the Kingsman agency. My code name will be 'Arthur'. And if you agree to join me, you may turn over your place card, where you will find your own code name.
[Polly turns over her card]
Polly
I am 'Galahad'.
Archie Reid
I am 'Lancelot'.
United States Ambassador
I am... 'Bedivere'.
King George
I am 'Percival'.
Duke of Oxford
Excellent.
[Shola enters the room]
Duke of Oxford
And this is 'Merlin', who will be our quartermaster.
[the agents prepare a toast]
Duke of Oxford
May our sons and friends rest in peace. And long live... the Kingsman.
Polly
Polly, Shola, King George, Archie Reid, United States Ambassador: The Kingsman.
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Morton
FUCK THIS GENTLEMAN SHITE! I'm gonna enjoy killing you!
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Polly
Why is it that boys are always so messy?
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Duke of Oxford
We are the first independent intelligence agency. Refined but brutal, civilized but merciless.
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The Shepherd
My flock, this will not be the war of heroes. Nations will slaughter each other, while we get rich. This is going to be fun.
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Duke of Oxford
I know you want to fight, but there are other ways of doing your duty.
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Polly
Shola, stop fucking about! Get on the counterweight!
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Conrad
You can't keep me locked away as the world burns.
Duke of Oxford
Son, the truth is, the world is ruled by corruption and greed.
Conrad
We must do something.
Duke of Oxford
Certainly.
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Erik Jan Hanussen
Now it's time to address the balance of my new flock. Thanks to you, comrade, our left hand is strong. But as you once said, our right hand now needs strengthening.
[loud banging on door]
Erik Jan Hanussen
Come in.
[a moustached man enters the room]
Erik Jan Hanussen
Don't be shy. Come, come.
[the man approaches Hanussen and Lenin]
Moustached Man
My Shepherd.
Erik Jan Hanussen
This young man will come to rival your position in this world, my friend.
[the moustached man offers Lenin a handshake]
Moustached Man
It is an honor, Comrade Lenin.
[Lenin shakes his hand]
Vladimir Lenin
And your name?
Moustached Man
Adolf Hitler.
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[after the Allied Powers win World War I]
King George
This victory is all down to you, and your fine son Conrad.
Duke of Oxford
And the courage of so many others, sir.
King George
Of course. Britain thanks you. And I thank you for ensuring that I didn't meet the same fate as my cousins. Wilhelm's abdication was understandable, but what happened to Nicholas... was despicable.
Duke of Oxford
It was, sir.
King George
I owe you a great personal debt that I still have my crown.
Duke of Oxford
In that case, would you meet me tomorrow at Kingsman, 3:00?
King George
A tailor shop?
Duke of Oxford
Yes, sir. Number 11, Savile Row.
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[Rasputin poisons Alexei and brings him to Nicholas and Alexandra]
Rasputin
I have a vision. This boy is the symbol of the soul of Russia. You must save Russia. You must pull out of the war to save your son's life.
Tsar Nicholas
This is nonsense.
Rasputin
You dare to question the vessel of the Lord? You dare to risk your son's life?
Tsarina Alix
Nicholas, come to your senses now!
[Alexandra kneels and grabs Nicolas' hand]
Tsarina Alix
Please. Please.
[Nicholas kneels in front of Rasputin, who places Alexei on the floor and chants a spell to cure him]
Rasputin
Welcome back.
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The Shepherd
It's time to pour fuel on the fire of revolution!
Rasputin
Yes, my shepherd.
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Rasputin
[about to kill Orlando's son]
I fixed your leg... which is more than I can say for your son's neck!
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The Shepherd
I want you to pick up where Rasputin failed. I don't care about your ideology or your politics. Just start your fucking revolution and get Russia out of my war, Comrade Lenin!
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[Rasputin starts devouring the entire half of the tart. Then he points his fingers towards Oxfords and starts a deep hum, slowly hypnotizing him before licking and massaging the area around the scar]
Rasputin
Relax. Let the blood flow. Let me lick your wounds.
Duke of Oxford
Yes.
Rasputin
Trust me. Trust me.
Duke of Oxford
Oh, God. I can see it.
Rasputin
Don't worry, I will help you, and you will help me. Why do you want to see the tsar?
Rasputin
What makes you think he won't?
Duke of Oxford
I'm told he's being influenced.
Rasputin
Good! Now we are getting somewhere. So, if you really want your leg fixed, tell me the truth! Why are you here?
Duke of Oxford
I'm here...
Rasputin
Because?
Duke of Oxford
Because...
Rasputin
Because?
Duke of Oxford
Because...
Rasputin
Because?
Duke of Oxford
Because I'm going to kill...
[Rasputin suddenly vomits]
Rasputin
I apologize. Your cake...
[gets up]
Rasputin
did not agree with me.
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Polly
Looking better, your Grace.
Duke of Oxford
Feeling better Polly
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Lieutenant
You five, one step forward. March! Five more brave volunteers, Sir.
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The Shepherd
I like a man who will admit to his mistakes. But I like more a woman who can fix those mistakes.
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Conrad
What is it that you Russians do that an Englishman can enjoy?
Rasputin
Well, everything. Food, music, ballet, tobacco, art. But most of all... we like to fuck like tigers.
[growls at Conrad]
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[the Duke of Oxford and Rasputin enter the summer room]
Duke of Oxford
Here we are.
[Rasputin closes the doors. He notices a Bakewell tart on the table]
Rasputin
You are expecting someone?
Duke of Oxford
Yes, our nanny is a wonderful cook, so she's made this cake as a gift for our host, the prince.
Rasputin
Please... take your trousers off and sit down.
Duke of Oxford
Certainly.
Rasputin
I will make the room warm for you.
[Rasputin adds fire to the fireplace while Oxford removes his trousers. Outside, Conrad and Shola quietly approach the room outside]
Rasputin
In the summer, I come here with my young friends. We swim naked in the bathing pond, then come inside and fuck in front of the fire.
Duke of Oxford
Naturally. Ah, there we are. Trousers off.
[Oxford sits down, then Rasputin grabs his left leg and place it on his lap]
Duke of Oxford
Steady.
Rasputin
Blood is life. Its flow is healing. And I can teach it where to flow.
[Rasputin looks at the gunshot scar on Oxford's thigh]
Rasputin
Hmm... your wound was fixed superficially and with very poor needlework.
Duke of Oxford
Hmm.
[Rasputin looks at the tart]
Rasputin
This cake is good, no?
Duke of Oxford
Yes, it's Bakewell tart. It's my favorite. We can eat it together when I put my trousers back on.
Rasputin
No. Well, to do this properly, I will need energy.
[Rasputin grabs half of the tart and sniffs it before taking a bite]
Rasputin
It's very good.
Duke of Oxford
Hmm.
Rasputin
Very English.
Duke of Oxford
Yes, it's very English.
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Rasputin
If I didn't know better, I would think your son was trying to fuck me.
Duke of Oxford
Or maybe you were trying to fuck him. Your reputation precedes you.
Rasputin
Well, if you know so much about my reputation, why don't you put your leg in my lap?
[at the dinner hall]
Duke of Oxford
...Here?
Rasputin
Not here! Somewhere private, of course!
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Rasputin
Time to dance, on your graves!
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The Shepherd
Not even I... could have imagined a war like this. What I thought would take a decade for us to achieve has taken two short years. We have drained Europe's resources, and millions have died pointlessly. We have broken the trust between the people and inbred monarchs who only rule due to their fortunate birth. Do you know who hates King George more than the Kaiser?
[pause]
The Shepherd
Me. The English monarchy has oppressed my beloved Scotland for over 700 years and it is time for retribution. We will pull Russia out of our war and unleash the full might of Germany to destroy England. Rasputin, are you ready to begin the demise of King George?
Rasputin
Thy will be done, my Shepherd.
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Shola
So we have what we came for.
Duke of Oxford
Yes. But the cause of all this mayhem is still in there.
Duke of Oxford
Enough dealing with Tentacles, Shola. It's time to cut off the head
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