The Spy Who Dumped Me Movie Quotes
Morgan
Mother, did you get the two dick pics I sent you?
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Morgan
[upon seeing Agent Wendy]
We have a real-life Judi Dench in our midst. You are the boss and yet you have not sacrificed one ounce of femininity.
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Sebastian
You're called Morgan Freeman? I only just put that together.
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[Jumping into an open car]
Audrey
Oh my God, it's a stick shift! Do you know how to drive a stick shift?
Morgan
No!
Audrey
How do you change gear?
Morgan
What's a gear?
Audrey
Abort! Abort Mission! Go!
[Run away from the car]
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Morgan
WHY are you using the turn signal? You're literally telling them where we're going.
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Finnish Backpacker
Scary.
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Morgan
Don't I not look like just a Frenchwoman?
Audrey
I look like a Frenchwoman: you just look like a French curtain!
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Audrey
I don't trust anyone anymore.
Morgan
You trust me though, right?
Audrey
Yes, of course. I trust you. You don't count.
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Audrey
What?
[Everyone starts shooting at them]
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Morgan
Thumbs up.
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Audrey
[as she's put into the van]
Okay, what is happening? Did I do something wrong? Am I in trouble?
Duffer
Listen, we just wanna talk about Drew Thayer. He's your boyfriend, right?
Audrey
No! I mean, yes. Well, he was my boyfriend, but we broke up. Why, is he in trouble?
Duffer
Yes. Drew is in a lot of trouble. That's why you're in a van.
Sebastian
Do you know where your ex-boyfriend worked, Ms. Stockman?
Audrey
Uh, yeah. NPR. He had a podcast. It was about umm... I'm not 100% sure what it was about, like Jazz and economics.
Duffer
Okay. Nobody listened to that podcast. Not even me and I went to Harvard.
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Morgan
Call the CIA guys!
Audrey
No! Drew said that we can't trust anyone and he's right, 'cause he's dead. Probably because I talked to them.
Morgan
No, it's because I let the assassin into the apartment.
Audrey
Okay, fair enough. It's both our faults.
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Aussie Tourist #2
Give me back my bumbag!
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Audrey
Sebastian, I'm really sorry I didn't give you the drive at the cafe.
Sebastian
No, I understand. Drew told you to keep it safe.
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Sebastian
I hope you're not upset about what that girl said on the news.
Audrey
Oh well. I'm not surprised. It's not like I've done anything that impressive with my life.
Sebastian
I've seen you do some impressive things. You were a great shot in the cafe. You switched the trophies on me. You didn't break when you were being tortured.
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Drew
You never finish anything.
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Morgan
[slightly buzzed]
You know, I was going to drive home. But now I think I just might drive into a wall.
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Morgan
Stop yelling that!
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Sebastian
[to Audrey]
These vests, they save your life, but they don't prevent you from breaking ribs.
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Morgan
[to Audrey]
Okay. Someone that you loved just died and asked you to do one last thing. I think you gotta do it. I'll go with you.
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Sebastian
I'm trying to protect you.
Audrey
Yeah? The same way you protected Drew? If you were here to protect me, you wouldn't be pointing a gun at me. I'm may not be in the CIA, but I know that much.
Sebastian
MI6, actually. Drew was CIA. It's an international effort.
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Sebastian
Hand over the package and no one gets hurt.
Audrey
Except for Drew.
Sebastian
Okay. It's not productive to keep bringing that up.
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Morgan
I thought that the international intelligence office would be fancier.
Sebastian
It's a temporary space. We don't wanna call attention to ourselves.
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Sebastian
[alarmed]
These aren't Highlands plans. This drive is a backdoor to the entire internet. Finances, emails. Everyone's secrets.
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Audrey
[going the her boyfriend's stuff]
Really, Drew. Skid-marks on your underwear? What are you, 8? Did he want me to wash them? It that why he broke up with me, because I didn't mother him enough?
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Drew
[on the phone to Audrey]
I'm gonna come over tomorrow and I'm gonna explain everything. Okay? Please don't do anything with my stuff.
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Audrey
I got a quarter left. Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to find the absolute worst song on the jukebox.
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Duffer
[to Audrey]
You don't want to lie to us.
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Audrey
Get this. Two guys show up at my work from the CIA. They wanted to talk about Drew... They said he's a spy.
Morgan
What do you mean a spy?
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Drew
Some bad people are after me.
Audrey
The CIA?
Drew
And some other people too. And now they're after you. It's exactly why I left you.
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Drew
[going through Audrey's purse and finding the tube]
Thousand guesses and never would've landed on 'thumb'.
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Morgan
[to Nadedja]
What is the name of the nun who beat you in whatever fucking orphanage, you skank?
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