Absolutely Anything Movie Quotes
Neil Clarke
I can do ANYTHING! Okay... bu... but... what do I *really* want?
[Looks down and laughs]
Neil Clarke
GIVE ME A REALLY BIG DICK!
[Falls over]
Neil Clarke
Augh! ouch! NOT *THAT* BIG! Obviously! Dick, return to your old size!
[Gets up]
Neil Clarke
Agh! Ah... Ok. Um... Let me have a penis that women find exciting!
[Looks down]
Neil Clarke
Yeah, it's good, yeah. Could I have it white?
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Neil Clarke
I'm not going to give you a biscuit until you answer my question!
Dennis
Biscuits! Bread biscuits, black biscuits!
Neil Clarke
Is that all you think about?
Dennis
Nothing else matters! Biscuits, please!
Neil Clarke
Dennis, become a rational thinking creature!
Dennis
Look, I just can't concentrate on anything till I've had one of those biscuits! I know it's crazy, but that's how it is. I guess I'm kinda hooked on them. So please, give me just one biscuit, and I'll be able to think about something else!
Neil Clarke
That makes sense.
[goes to the cupboard]
Dennis
Oh, he's getting the biscuits! He's getting the biscuits!
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[Dennis barks]
Neil Clarke
What are you talking about, Dennis?... Dennis, shut up, I can handle this!... Dennis, what are you talking about? Actually, that is a really good point, what are you talking about? Dennis, be able to speak!
Dennis
Biscuits!
Neil Clarke
What?
Dennis
Biscuits! For crying out loud, they're in the cupboard!
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[on hearing the bell, Dennis gets excited]
Neil Clarke
Dennis, listen! Listen, listen, listen! Be quiet! That is an order!
Dennis
Right! Right! I like obeying orders, especially your orders!
Neil Clarke
Good. Then shut the fuck up!... Good boy.
Dennis
Okay... okay... shut the fuck up...
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Neil Clarke
Give me a body that people find attractive!
[He turns into a topless woman]
Neil Clarke
No! A male body! Give me the body of a great man!
[Turns into Albert Einstein]
Neil Clarke
No! Give me the body of a man who people find attractive!
[Turns into a hunky guy]
Neil Clarke
Better.
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Neil Clarke
I don't think I like your conversation!
Dennis
But I worship you, master! I love you so much! I can't bear displeasing you! My whole world collapses when you're cross with me!
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Neil Clarke
[feeds Dennis]
God, it must be terrible being a dog! I never knew you had so many cravings!
Dennis
It's no worse than you and that bitch!
Neil Clarke
What bitch?
Dennis
The bitch you were shagging last night!
Neil Clarke
Oh my god, she's not a bitch, she's a lovely human female! And we weren't shagging!
Dennis
Yes, you were!
Neil Clarke
No we weren't, we were talking!
Dennis
Talking about shagging!
Neil Clarke
No!
Dennis
What else is there to talk about?
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[the driver of the car sudden feels an invisible person having sex with him]
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Neil Clarke
Let everybody who died be alive again!
[the living dead rise up]
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Dennis
I wouldn't mind shagging your leg right now...
Neil Clarke
I thought I turned you into a rational thinking creature!
Dennis
Rational thinking creature still have desires!
Neil Clarke
We'll soon deal with that...
Dennis
NO! Don't take my desires away from me!
Neil Clarke
Why not?
Dennis
They wouldn't make my life worth living! Biscuits, shagging!
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Neil
Absolute power doesn't corrupt. It just drives you bloody mad.
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Neil Clarke
I could solve every problem in the world!
Dennis
Have you thought this thing through?
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Headmaster
You, Mr Clarke, are totally irresponsible, you are idle and you are feckless.
Neil
Feckless?
Headmaster
Yes, you are without feck. If I could replace you, I would.
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