The Inbetweeners Movie Movie Quotes
Neil Sutherland
I stopped believing in god when I realised it was just dog backwards.
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Mr. Gilbert
This isn't The Dead Poets Society and I am not that bloke on bbc2 keeps getting kids to sing in choirs. I especially don't want to hear how well you are settling down at uni or how much growing up you have done in the past 12 months. At best I am ambivalent towards most of you, but some of you I actively dislike, for no other reason than your poor personal hygiene or your irritating personalities. I hope I have made myself clear on this point and in case any of you think I am joking, I am not. I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after you best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty fucker. Good luck with the rest of your lives and try not to kill anyone, it reflects very badly on all of us here.
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Jay Cartwright
Don't you know about foreign police? They take you up a hill, beat you up and then they bum you!
Neil Sutherland
Yeah. and if they don't kill you, you kill yourself because of the shame of you getting a boner whilst you was being bummed!
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Will McKenzie
So smelling like an industrial accident in a Lynx factory and looking like the world's shittest boyband, we hit the town.
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Jay Cartwright
This girl's so wet for me I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny.
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Will McKenzie
I like football, but I don't like Burnley. Burnley can f*ck off.
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[from trailer]
Jay Cartwright
You better bring your wellies, because you'll be knee-deep in clunge.
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Simon Cooper
She's also really funny.
Lucy
In what way?
Simon Cooper
Well, you know when something's funny, and people get it?
Lucy
Yes...
Simon Cooper
So in that way. And also in a comedy way.
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Middle-Aged Woman
[a woman who is at least in her fifties leaves the group's hotel after sleeping with Neil]
Middle-Aged Woman
Don't worry lads, kitty won't bite. Not now she's been fed.
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[from trailer]
Will McKenzie
First stop the Minoan palace in Knossos.
Jay Cartwright
We haven't come half way round the world to look at some fucking Greek ruins.
Neil Sutherland
Yeah you can see that shit anywhere.
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James
You better watch you don't fall overboard.
Jane
Or what? I'll get harpooned because someone will mistake me for a whale? Someone will think they've discovered a new island? All the water will splash over onto the boat? I've heard them all. Take your pick.
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[from trailer]
Carli D'Amato
Simon we need to talk.
Simon Cooper
Oh no not talking.
Carli D'Amato
I think we should break up.
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Jay Cartwright
Why go for hamburgers, when you have steak at home?
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[from trailer]
Will McKenzie
I've lost my glasses!
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Will McKenzie
That's it! Neil, you're right. It may not be paradise, but it's time we started enjoying this place for what it is.
Simon Cooper
A shithole?
Will McKenzie
Yes, but it's our shithole! So I say, we get out there, and get royally fucked up on Jay's dead grandad's money!
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Will McKenzie
[Narrating]
Jay and Neil never told us how close they came to Fernando's cock. But they did say they could smell it. And they were still having more fun than us.
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Jay Cartwright
Heads down boys.
Neil Sutherland
Shit.
Will McKenzie
What, why we haven't done anything?
Jay Cartwright
Foreign police innit.
Neil Sutherland
Don't you know about foreign police?
Will McKenzie
Short sleeved uniforms chunkier truncheons.
Neil Sutherland
Fucking hell!
Jay Cartwright
Mate they're all corrupt basically if you misbehave and don't have the money to bribe them. They take you up to these shepherds huts in the hills beat you up and bum ya.
Neil Sutherland
And if they don't kill ya you kill yourself cause the shame of getting a boner whilst you were being bummed.
Will McKenzie
Right couple of things, firstly the hills here are full of time shares not deserted shepherds huts. Secondly, Crete's in the EU so I think the standard of policing probably goes beyond buming and forced suicide.
Jay Cartwright
Believe what you want I'm keeping a bribe up my arse just in case.
Will McKenzie
You're gonna spend the whole holiday with 20 Euros rolled up inside you're arsehole?
Jay Cartwright
It's been up there since the seatbelt signs went off mate.
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Check In Woman
I am sick of every dickhead thinking he has touching rights just cause I smiled at him, It's my fucking job you cretin!
Jay Cartwright
Are you on the blob?
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Jay Cartwright
Your life's just about to begin, mate. Now that you're single we can all go on a mental holiday together! Two weeks of sun, sea, sex, sand, booze, sex, minge, fanny, and tits, and booze, and sex!
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