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Kinoafisha Films Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice Movie Quotes

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice Movie Quotes

Ted Henderson First, we'll have an orgy. Then we'll go see Tony Bennett.

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Psychiatrist When we come right up to the sex, you become embarrassed.

Alice Henderson What am I... What would you like... What am I supposed to think?

Psychiatrist I have no wants. Say what you think you'd like to say.

Alice Henderson Do you think I need this? Do you really think you can help me?

Psychiatrist I think it'd be useful to talk some more. I don't know for sure if I can help you or not. Do you think you can help yourself?

Alice Henderson Ted is a very nervous man! Now sex is very important to a man! You know that!

Psychiatrist Well, it seems that our time is up for today.

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Carol Sanders If Bob says it's alright and Alice says it's alright and I say it's alright...

Ted Henderson It just seems wrong.

Carol Sanders Oh, it's not. Look, it's just nice feelings, it's something that we've never done before, it's physical fun! It's - it's just sex! Oh, come on, it'll be fun.

Ted Henderson Well, I do feel aroused. I can't deny that.

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Alice Henderson You know how children are, they're very curious. He wanted to know why I had a tee-tee...

Psychiatrist Pardon me? I don't know what a tee-tee is.

Alice Henderson A vagina.

Psychiatrist Oh, it's a pet expression of yours.

Alice Henderson Yes, you know words: tee-tee, tinkle, po-po, wee-wee, kee-kee, poo-poo.

Psychiatrist I had never heard tee-tee before.

Alice Henderson What expression do you use with your children?

Psychiatrist Vagina.

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Alice Henderson Now, do you wanna do it just like that with no feeling on my part?

Ted Henderson Yeah.

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Alice Henderson Listen! You tell me why do you think we come out here?

Carol Sanders To have fun!

Alice Henderson And what is more fun than an orgy! Orgy!

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Carol Sanders Oh, insight! Oh, Alice! Alice, what a beautiful woman! Oh! You see. You see right through us. You're beautiful! You know where it's at.

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Bob Sanders Well look at you, man. You've got the guilt anyway. Don't waste it.

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Carol Sanders I didn't do it because you did it!

Bob Sanders Why then? Oh, why, God Almighty!

Carol Sanders I did it because I wanted to do it!

Bob Sanders Why?

Carol Sanders Because! Because I wanted to do it! I-I-I just wanted to see if I could do it.

Bob Sanders Why in my house? Why in my bed?

Carol Sanders Well, Bob, it just seems like a convenient thing. You were not going to be here.

Bob Sanders He's not in my pajamas, is he?

Carol Sanders No!

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Ted Henderson What are you doing Alice?

Alice Henderson I'm getting undressed.

Carol Sanders Alice, relax.

Alice Henderson Oh! Relax!

Ted Henderson Stop it, Alice

Alice Henderson I am being honest! I am doing what I feel like doing!

Carol Sanders Well, what do you feel like doing?

Alice Henderson I feel like doing what we came up here to do.

Carol Sanders And what is that?

Alice Henderson Orgy! Have an orgy! Orgy! Orgy. Orgy! Orgy!

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Bob Sanders That's gorgeous, man. The truth is always beautiful.

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Carol Sanders My darling, you did not do a terrible thing. You told me about it. If you hadn't have told me, then that would have been cheating!

Bob Sanders I know what cheating is. Cheating is when you ball a chick that's not your wife That's cheating!

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Carol Sanders We have to be straight about this. Now, I'm beginning to feel something. I am beginning to feel excited. And do you want me to deny that?

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Alice Henderson Sex is very important to a man! You know that!

Psychiatrist Well, it seems that your time is up for today.

Alice Henderson Maybe I don't trust Ted?

Psychiatrist Let's talk about that on Thursday.

Alice Henderson Do you think that that's the possibility that maybe that's what it's about?

Psychiatrist Let's continue Thursday and we'll discuss that if that's helpful.

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Bob Sanders Very hostile, my dear. Very hostile.

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Alice Henderson That's all that's on their minds, is sex. Sex, sex, sex, and sex. If it's on your mind all the time it can't be a very good thing, can it? I mean, shouldn't it just happen? It used to just happen!

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Alice Henderson I have such hostility for Bob, I cannot tell you.

Ted Henderson I feel sorry for both of them.

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Ted Henderson I'm upset for both of them, Alice, but I'm getting more upset for myself.

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Bob Sanders What do you feel about - my hair?

Ted Henderson Your hair? Well, eh, your hair? I don't want to offend you; but, a majority of my day isn't spent in ruminating about your hair.

Carol Sanders Be honest, Ted.

Ted Henderson Your hair looks very good on you.

Carol Sanders You're full of crap.

Bob Sanders Cop out. That's what we call a cop out.

Carol Sanders Yeah. That's a cop out, Ted.

Bob Sanders Can't you feel? How do you feel about it?

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Bob Sanders You're playing games. You're playing a emancipated woman, a hip chick that doesn't care what her husband does.

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Carol Sanders What was she like?

Bob Sanders What?

Carol Sanders The girl.

Bob Sanders Very nice.

Carol Sanders Pretty?

Bob Sanders Yeah. She looked a little like Candy Bergen.

Carol Sanders Too bad she didn't look like Edgar Bergen.

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Alice Henderson I got angry at him once. I don't know, I think it was because Bob and I - did I say Bob?

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Alice Henderson That was a Freudian slip. Ted - *Ted* and I - you're looking at me - Ted and I were going to have sex and - wanted to have sex - and - well, Jimmy walked into the room. And it was daytime and I got nervous. So, I scolded at him for not knocking on the door before he walked in.

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Ted Henderson You know there's a double standard operating here and I'm not going to play that game. I am not going to do anything I don't want my wife to do.

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Bob Sanders A toast - to Alice.

Alice Henderson Hey, why me?

Bob Sanders Huh? Because, you're nice.

Alice Henderson Hey, hey, hey, here's a toast to Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.

Ted Henderson That's a good - I'll drink to us.

Bob Sanders Us and horns!

Alice Henderson Of the grooviest people I've ever known.