Alonzo Harris
[to the residents of The Jungle]
Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit... Jake. You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of... who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the police, I run shit around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away... 'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning... I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.
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[repeated line to Jake]
Alonzo Harris
My nigga.
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Alonzo Harris
[to Jake]
To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.
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Alonzo Harris
You disloyal, fool-ass, bitch-made punk.
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Jake Hoyt
Thank you sir, but I ate...
Alonzo Harris
Fine, don't.
Jake Hoyt
It's nice here.
Alonzo Harris
May I read my paper?
Jake Hoyt
I'm sorry, sir, I...
Alonzo Harris
Thank you.
Jake Hoyt
You know what, I'll get something to eat.
Alonzo Harris
No. Hell no you won't, you fucked that up. I'm trying to read my paper. Please, shut up.
Jake Hoyt
I sure won't mind roasting in a black-and-white all day.
Alonzo Harris
Tell me a story, Hoyt.
Jake Hoyt
My story?
Alonzo Harris
No, not your story. A story. Because you can't keep your mouth shut long enough for me to read my paper. Tell me a story.
Jake Hoyt
I don't think I know any stories.
Alonzo Harris
You don't know any stories? Okay, I'll tell you a story. This is a newspaper. It's 90 per cent bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story, right now.
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Jake Hoyt
[stepping into Alonzo's Monte Carlo for the first time]
This car is not from the motor pool.
Alonzo Harris
It's not, sexy though, ain't it?
Jake Hoyt
So, where's the office? Back at division?
Alonzo Harris
You're in the office, baby.
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[last lines]
Alonzo Harris
What a day. What a motherfuckin' day.
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Alonzo Harris
[while driving in his Monte Carlo]
You okay, kid? That was a man-sized hit you took, dog. When was the last time you smoked weed?
Jake Hoyt
Last time I smoked weed... 12th grade. We were... we were...
Alonzo Harris
Smoking weed.
Jake Hoyt
Yeah, yeah.
Alonzo Harris
Left that out your service jacket. Yeah, I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know you liked to get wet, dog.
Jake Hoyt
What's "wet"?
Alonzo Harris
Butt-naked. Ill. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what you had. That's what you were smoking, you couldn't taste it?
Jake Hoyt
No, I've never done it.
Alonzo Harris
You have now. I haven't, but you have.
Jake Hoyt
Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Man, I'm gonna get piss-tested, and then I'm gonna get fired!
Alonzo Harris
Lieutenant's got our back. We know a week before we piss.
Jake Hoyt
Oh, shit. Shit!
Alonzo Harris
Boom!
Jake Hoyt
Why did you do this to me?
Alonzo Harris
Nobody told you to smoke that thing. You made the decision. Live with your decision. Ain't like I put a gun to your head.
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Alonzo Harris
[in a coffee shop]
But, I don't believe you. You tapped that ass, didn't you. C'mon, tell the truth, you know you tapped that ass. You put her in the backseat, BAM. Code-X.
Jake Hoyt
Look man, I got a wife.
Alonzo Harris
You got a dick. You do have a dick, don't you? Okay, the dick lines up straight like that right? To the right of it and to the left of it are pockets, right? In those pockets are money. Look in either one of 'em, pay the bill.
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Jake Hoyt
[after repeatedly punching Detective Harris]
It's no fun when the rabbit has the gun, is it?
[to surrounding crowd]
Alonzo Harris
Hey. First dom who puts one in his head... I'll make you a rich man. C'mon now, who wanna get paid? Who wanna get paid?
Jake Hoyt
They're not like you. You wanna know what I learned today? I'm not like you.
Alonzo Harris
That's good, Jake. Glad to hear it. Good... so what you gonna do know, you gonna shoot me? You gonna bust yo' cherry killin' a cop?
[pulls out badge]
Alonzo Harris
There it is, Jake, hit me. You ain't never killed anybody before, have you? It ain't like steppin' on ants, Jake. It takes a man to kill... you man enough to kill, Jake?
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Alonzo Harris
Take that dick and stick it up that funky little ass of yours, bitch. Damn, I'm thirsty.
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Alonzo Harris
[after killing Roger]
Use your ears and hear me, Jake. Sometimes we gotta take this shit all the way. Now, nobody will ever ask you to pull the trigger if you don't want to.
Mark
S.I.S.
Alonzo Harris
S.I.S. Detective. Give me 18 months, I'll give you a career. We're an elite unit. We make the big seizures. We make the big arrests. But if you're in my unit, you gotta be in it all the way or not at all. I thought that you was man enough to face that. I guess I was wrong. Five proven, decorated officers say that you're the shooter. The investigators are gonna want to pull a tube of your blood to check for intoxicants, and what are they gonna find, Jake? Do the math. You've been smoking PCP all day, haven't you?
Jake
You've been planning this all day?
Alonzo Harris
I've been planning this all week, son. You talk that crazy shit, I'll make sure that blood gets to the lab. You wanna walk your baby nuts around the block, you won't make it to the corner, but if you're cool, if you're cool... then you're a hero. You're a virgin shooter above suspicion.
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Jake Hoyt
Crack. 20 bucks' worth.
Blue
Crack?
[looks at Alonzo]
Blue
Smells like bacon in this muthafucka. What I look like, a sucka to you, nigga? Fuck you, rookie.
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Alonzo
40 G's.
Jake
What was that for?
Alonzo
You really wanna know?
Jake
Yeah. I asked, didn't I?
Alonzo
Nothing's free in this world, Jake. Not even arrest warrants.
Jake
Shit, I didn't wanna know.
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Stan Gursky
[in a steakhouse restaurant]
Alonzo, heard you had an expensive weekend in Vegas. How did you ever screw up so bad?
Alonzo
Hey, I didn't know. It's not my town. I'm not omniscient.
Lou Jacobs
The Russians don't care if you have a badge. They'll whack you. You ought to hop a jet out of here.
Alonzo
Why? It's an easy fix. I'll just cash in on an account.
Stan Gursky
Which one?
Alonzo
One of my old ones, my first one. The guy's a high security risk anyway. If I'm not around, who's gonna help keep him off the radar?
Stan Gursky
All right, it's your call. I do not want you to dick this up. I don't want to see you on the front page like the rest of those assholes.
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Alonzo Harris
[after killing Roger and framing Jake]
Congratulations, son. You're gonna get a Medal of Valor for this.
Jake Hoyt
But I didn't shoot him.
Alonzo Harris
A roomful of cops said you did.
Jake Hoyt
But I didn't. You did.
Alonzo Harris
A Los Angeles Police Department Narcotics officer was killed today serving a high-risk warrant in Echo Park. Gimme the bitch. LAPD spokesperson says the officer is survived... by his wife and infant child. Shit gets deeper. You get the picture?
Jake Hoyt
Yeah, I get it.
[Jake grabs gun from Alonzo, the crew points guns at Jake]
Jake Hoyt
That's the second time you pointed a gun at me. There will not be a third!
Alonzo Harris
Goddamn, boy! My nigga, are y'all watching this? That's it!
Paul
It'd be my pleasure to put a hydrashock in that melon...
Alonzo Harris
Wait, wait.
Paul
But naw, I'ma be cool. Now drop the fucking gun now!
Jake Hoyt
You wanna shoot me, Paul, go ahead. But I'm taking him with me.
Mark
I'm going, Alonzo.
Paul
This motherfucker's a fed.
Alonzo Harris
Naw, he ain't no fed. He's just a choirboy that got the drop on all you fools.
Jake Hoyt
You can't put this shit on me. I did not sign up for this!
Alonzo Harris
I understand your anger. Everybody, put your guns down.
Paul
Choirboy first.
[shouts]
Alonzo Harris
Put 'em down!
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Alonzo Harris
I'm the zig-zag man, who the fuck are you?
Jake Hoyt
I'm a cop.
Alonzo Harris
Watch out... don't shoot nobody.
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Newscaster
A Los Angeles Police Department Narcotics officer was killed today serving a high-risk warrant near LAX. An LAPD spokesperson says that Detective Alonzo Harris is survived by his wife and four sons.
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Alonzo
[after killing Roger and shooting Jeff]
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove. Mark and Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff's the first one through. Roger hits Jeff twice.
[to Jeff]
Alonzo
What's the matter, one go through?
Tim
Yeah, you shot him.
Jeff
You fucking shot me, man!
Alonzo
Don't worry about it. You'll get a medal.
Jeff
Get me an ambulance!
Alonzo
Hey, hey, hey. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? Let me quarterback this thing. Mark, Paul, you kicked the door down. Jeff's the first one through. Roger shoots Jeff twice, bang bang. Our new guy, Hoyt, he's in second. Drops Roger with some fine shotgun work. Now who shot Roger?
Mark
New guy, came in spraying.
Alonzo
Who shot Roger?
Paul
Boot did it.
Alonzo
What did you guys see?
Tim
Hoyt blasted him.
Jeff
Hey, fuck Hoyt, all right? Ambulance time!
Alonzo
Done. Paul, call 'em up.
Paul
11-49-98 Shots fired. Officer down. Repeat. Officer down. 5951 Baxter Street.
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Moreno
[while playing poker in their kitchen]
So tell me something. How long have you been a pig, I mean, a police officer?
Jake Hoyt
I've been a pig for 19 months.
Moreno
19 months? You like it?
Jake Hoyt
I should have been a fireman.
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Alonzo Harris
[referring to his shotgun that's his holding to find to Jake, somewhere in Sara's apartment]
You know I'm surgical with this bitch, Jake. How do you want it, dog? Closed casket? Remember that fool in the wheelchair? How do you think he got there?
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Alonzo
[while driving in his Monte Carlo]
Today's a training day, Officer Hoyt. Show you around, give you a taste of the business. I got 38 cases pending trial, 63 in active investigations, another 250 on the log I can't clear. I supervise five officers. That's five different personalities. Five sets of problems. You can be number six if you act now. But I ain't holding no hands, okay? I ain't baby-sitting. You got today and today only to show me who and what you're made of. You don't like narcotics, get the fuck out of my car. Go get you a nice, pussy desk job, chasing bad checks or something, you hear me?
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Alonzo Harris
There ain't nothing to figure out, that's just some senseless bullshit. Don't listen to him.
Jake Hoyt
You know, I already figured 'em out.
Alonzo Harris
Really?
Roger
You already figured the streets out.
Jake Hoyt
It's all about smiles and cries.
Alonzo Harris
Put the drink down, man, the motherfuckers out of his mind.
Roger
Hold on, Alonzo, hold on. Smiles and cries, smiles and cries, I hear ya.
Jake Hoyt
Yeah. You gotta control your smiles and cries, because that's all you have and nobody can take that away from you.
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Jake Hoyt
Yeah, I got a little girl.
Alonzo Harris
I've got five. All boys. You ever need a son, you let me know. I'll hook your old lady up. I can't miss.
Jake Hoyt
Can we not talk about my family?
Alonzo Harris
That's cool, I respect that. I remember what it was to have a pretty young bride. You probably still fuck her face to face, don't you?
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Smiley
[to Jake, before Moreno, sniper, Smiley drag him into the bathroom and lift him into the tub]
You got the right to be bitch-slapped.
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Alonzo
Transactions. You see that Salvatrucha zero head sitting on that fence acting like he's not slanging dope? That's my boy. My boy, Neto. The punk's only 17, but he can kill with the best. He's one of mine. He works for me.
Jake
Jesus, he's an informer?
Alonzo
Teammate. I got eyes everywhere. He gets to peddle a little reefer, gets money to take care of the family. He lets me know when big things are going on. Big transactions.
[whispering]
Alonzo
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Look at that. Sexy ain't it?
Jake
And you trust him?
Alonzo
Damn right I trust him. I sprung his mom from INS detention. Watch this.
[drug deal being made]
Alonzo
You see that hand-to-hand?
Jake
Yeah, I saw it.
Alonzo
When was the last time you did a felony stop?
Jake
Two weeks ago.
Alonzo
Good. You need practice.
Jake
They look like a bunch of college kids.
Alonzo
They'll get their education today. I want the Brady Bunch grabbing glass. I take the front, you take the back.
[Jake picks up radio to call in]
Alonzo
Stay off of the Rover. Let's go.
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Alonzo
[after forcefully pressing a pen down Blue's throat causing him to vomit the narcotics he was hiding in his stomach]
What's that?
Blue
Motherfucking crack, man.
Alonzo
That's right, Jimmy Crack Corn. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Oh, you're federally fucked now. You got crack... and a gun. You know with your record you can get 10 years per bullet? Now you gon' gimme a name.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo
That's 10 right there.
Blue
Come on, man. You know I ain't no snitch, man.
Alonzo
I know you ain't no snitch. Gimme a name.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo
That's 20.
Blue
Fuck!
Alonzo
Gimme a name.
[removes bullet]
Alonzo
That's 30 years. You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?
[removes bullet]
Blue
He in the county!
Alonzo
Who?
Blue
Nigga named Sandman. That's all the fuck I know,man! Shit!
Alonzo
See how easy that was?
[removes bullet]
Blue
I'm sick of this shit, man.
Alonzo
You wanna collect the evidence?
Jake
Fuck that.
Alonzo
My nigga.
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Jake Hoyt
[lying in their bathtub]
Now, listen to me, that girl was being raped. I saw these two fuckin' drug addicts attacking her, and I stopped 'em...
Jake Hoyt
I would - not - lie to you...
Smiley
Don't lie to me! - Don't lie to me!
Jake Hoyt
I swear to God. She was being raped, and I stopped 'em, man. And please man, I got a little kid...
Sniper
Blast his ass, homes.
Jake Hoyt
I have - a little girl.
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Alonzo Harris
I had lunch with the Wise Men today. They say you gotta render unto Caesar.
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Alonzo Harris
[while inserting confiscated marijuana into a confiscated pipe]
To be truly effective, a good narcotics agent must know and love narcotics. In fact, a good narcotics agent should have narcotics in his blood.
Jake Hoyt
Are you gonna smoke that?
Alonzo Harris
No, you are.
Alonzo Harris
You not gon' smoke it?
Jake Hoyt
Naw, man. I became a narc to rid the streets of dopers, not to be one.
Alonzo Harris
Come on, man, take a hit.
Jake Hoyt
Naw, man.
Alonzo Harris
[Slams brakes]
Yeah, right. If I was a drug dealer, you'd be dead by now, motherfucker. You turn shit down on the streets, and the chief brings your wife a crisply folded flag. What the fuck's wrong with you? Talking about - You know what? I don't want you in my unit. I don't even want you in my division. Get the fuck out the car. Go back to the Valley, rookie.
Jake Hoyt
All right, I'll smoke it.
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Doug Rosselli
[telling Alonzo a story in a steakhouse restaurant with Lou, and Stan present]
There's a serial burglar we're chasing him for twelve months, a real slickster and he gave up nothing. His sentencing was today so before the hearing he gets a hold of some peanut butter and he packs his ass crack with it, he's standing tall before the judge and he's ready to give a statement, he shoves his hand down his pants and it comes out with a glob of extra chunky Jiff, bailiffs won't come near him. Now he's looking at the judge in the eyes and licks his fingers clean, so the judge says "this poor man is insane, he can't go to prison", orders him to get a psychiatric evaluation and by the time the judge found out it was sandwich spread, the order was already signed and the guy had already been transferred, after six months in the puzzle factory they call him "normal" and let him loose, he'll never do a day in prison. One day I'm going to find this guy on the street and I'm going to kill him.
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Paul
[in Roger's home]
Alonzo, there's two shots left in that other stinger. We need to just kill your boy right now and say Roger got him coming through the door.
Alonzo
We ain't killing nobody. This guy's got the magic eye. I can feel it. Just had a little freak-out, that's all. Now I say he's cool, and nobody's gonna hurt him. But you do have a decision to make, because in about 10 seconds, this whole place is gonna be overrun with blue suits.
[sirens approaching]
Alonzo
So just walk outside and clear your head, or just shoot me.
[punches Paul]
Paul
[Mark holds him back]
You're dead, motherfucker! You hear me?
[shouts]
Paul
You're fuckin' dead!
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Alonzo Harris
[in an alleyway next to a chained link fence]
You hear that, homey? You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home? Huh?
Crackhead #1
[lying on the ground hand]
What you think?
Alonzo Harris
They got room for guys like you at the booty house, you ever been to the booty house. Big boys have you grab you ankles...
Crackhead #1
Suck my dick, bitch. I know people.
Alonzo Harris
That's how it starts. What about you, my man? Where's yo' horn?
Crackhead #2
I ain't got nothin' on me, man.
Alonzo Harris
You sure?
Crackhead #2
Yeah, man.
Alonzo Harris
You got money, though.
[pulls out crack]
Alonzo Harris
Ooohh, you lied to me, you lied to me. Lucky I don't make you eat that, dawg.
[steps on crack]
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[Jake gets in car]
Alonzo
It behoves you not to dick around on this one. Justifiable homicide in the line of duty? What happened was...
Jake
What happened was murder... and armed robbery. Wait, we had badges, so it's different?
Alonzo
Open your eyes, son. Can't you see?
Jake
That man was your friend, and you killed him like a fly.
Alonzo
Why is he my friend, because he knows my first name? Roger sold dope to kids. The world is a better place without him. This man was the biggest major violator in Los Angeles. This is the game. I'm playing his ass. That's my job. That's your job. I watched that cocksucker operate with impunity for over 10 years, and now I got him. The shit's chess, it ain't checkers. What, we all of a sudden gonna roll up in a black-and-white? Come on, man, take the money.
Jake
I told you, I'm not gonna take that money.
Alonzo
All right, burn it, barbecue it, fish-fry it, I don't give a fuck. But the boys'll feel better about it.
Jake
Fuck their feelings.
Alonzo
You're not making them feel like you're part of the team.
Jake
The team? You guys are fuckin' insane. All right, I'll go back to the Valley. I'll cut parking tickets. Why does it have to be this way?
Alonzo
I'm sorry I exposed you to it, but it is. It's ugly, but it's necessary... Sometimes you gotta have a little dirt on you for anybody to trust you.
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[on phone]
Jake Hoyt
Hello?
Alonzo Harris
Hoyt?
Jake Hoyt
Yes, sir?
Alonzo Harris
You on your way to roll call?
Jake Hoyt
Yes, sir, I'm on my way out the door right now.
Alonzo Harris
Hoyt.
Jake Hoyt
Yes, sir?
Alonzo Harris
Patrol ferries go to roll call, we don't go to roll call...
Jake Hoyt
OK, that's good to know.
Alonzo Harris
Listen, there's a coffee shop at 7th and Whitman. Be there, ten 'o clock, in civies, comfortable shoes. You got a backup gun? Somethin' pocket size?
Jake Hoyt
Uh, no sir. I got the Department issue Buretta...
Alonzo Harris
Good, good, bring it. Cuffs too. We'll be in the office all day, but who knows? Maybe we'll do some business, we're an aggressive unit.
Jake Hoyt
Uh, yes sir. And that's exactly why I signed up, and I just wanted to thank you...
[Alonzo hangs up]
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Roger
[in his home]
Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the fuck's your problem?'
Jake Hoyt
That's messed up. That wasn't funny.
Alonzo Harris
Then why are you cackling like a jackal?
Jake Hoyt
I dunno.
Roger
Figure that joke out and you'll figure the streets out.
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Lou Jacobs
[in a steakhouse restaurant]
I don't know why I'm talking to you. I don't talk to dead men.
Alonzo Harris
I ain't dead yet. Fuckin' prick.
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Alonzo Harris
[Explaining his orders to raid Roger's house]
There's nothing I can do about it, you know, I'm just a lowly civil servant.
Roger
Ehhh, you're their bitch!
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[singing]
Alonzo Harris
Oh where, Oh where has my little Jake gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?
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Alonzo
[while meeting on the roof of a parking garage]
What's happening? You got the picks and shovels?
Mark
You gonna dig a ditch?
Alonzo
Nope. You are. That's a nice suit.
[to Paul]
Alonzo
What's going on, killer?
Paul
I can't call it. Been hearing some shit out here on these streets. You all right?
Alonzo
Yeah. I talked to the three wise men today. Everything's all good.
Paul
Shit, you say we can get away with it, I'm with you on that.
[points to Jake]
Paul
Who the fuck is this?
Jake
Jake Hoyt. I'm from Valley Patrol. It's my first day.
Paul
You a long way from Starbucks homey.
[to Alonzo]
Paul
Yo, why the fuck is he in on this?
Alonzo
Gotta get his cherry popped sometime.
Paul
[to Jake]
Yo, stay the fuck outta my way. Just for the big dogs, you feel me?
Alonzo
All right. Here's the warrant signed and sealed by the judge, thanks to the Sandman. Alright, now listen up; Safety is first. He gives us shit - Boom! We're giving him lead. Let's do this right so we can all go home and do the wife or the girlfriend thing, alright? Let's suit up, ladies. Time to punch in.
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Alonzo Harris
One time. What's up Bone?
Bone
What's up, Alonzo? - What's happenin' with you, Damu?
Alonzo Harris
It's all good.
Bone
I wanna tell you man: I appreciate what you did for my nephew, that's some real shit.
Alonzo Harris
For sure. For sure.
[Alonzo walks away]
Bone
I'm sick of this shit I can't stand that motherfucker.
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Smiley
[to Jake, after playing poker with him, Sniper, and Moreno in their kitchen]
Alonzo pulled off a miracle. Times are tight, he jacked up a lot of cash from Roger, he blasted the fool, that's why I never shake his hand he don't respect nothing you know what the money's for? Alonzo's a hot head, last week in Vegas some Russian starts talking shit, Alonzo just snaps beat that guy to death, turns out that Russian is a somebody, now his into the Russians for a million they gave him until tonight to pay up. his name is still on the list. Nobody thought he could get cash that quick, good thing he did because there's a crew on standby, if he doesn't turn up downtown with the money by midnight and not a minute after, he's a dead man.
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Alonzo
[bruised and bloodied, and turns his head back to see Jake pointing a gun at him while dragging away from him with a lit cigarette in his mouth]
, you gonna bust your cherry killing a cop? You know what you get for that, Jake? The gas chamber. You know what the gas chamber smells like? Pine oil. I'ma send you to a pine oil heaven. I'ma get that gun and I'ma get that gun and I'm going to get that money, and your not going to shit because you're not going to shoot a cop in the back.
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Alonzo Harris
[to Roger]
You wouldn't mind if I have some of your three thousand dollar-a-glass shit there, would you?
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Bone
[while pointing a gun at Alonzo]
Jake, go ahead and bounce, homey. Get up out of here. We got your back.
Alonzo Harris
What?
Bone
It's like that.
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[Bone is smoking a cigarette with his friends]
Bone
You got business here, Rookie?
Jake Hoyt
I'm here for Alonzo.
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Alonzo Harris
[repeated line to several people in different situations]
It's not what you know, it's what you can prove.
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Jake
I want to protect the streets by ridding it of dangerous drugs.
Alonzo
Yeah, but why do you wanna be a narc?
Jake
I wanna make detective.
Alonzo
There you go. You stick around with me, you'll make it. Unlearn that bullshit they teach you at the Academy. That shit'll get you killed out here.
Jake
I'll do anything you want me to do.
Alonzo
My nigga. Roll that window down first.
[Jake rolls down window]
Alonzo
You gotta see the streets. You gotta feel it. You gotta smell it, you gotta taste the streets. How's your Espanol?
Jake
Uh, más o menos.
Alonzo
Learn that shit, brother. That shit'll get you killed. These motherfuckers out there be plotting all types of shit on you.
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Doug Rosselli
Fuck yourself, Alonzo.
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Jake
[Jake kick opens the bedroom door and finds Alonzo packing money into a bag and Sara lies naked on the bed]
Take the money and put it inside that bag and take your weapons and put it inside that pillow case
Alonzo Harris
[Clapping with the packs of cash]
Congratulations son, you passed the test you're a narc put the gun down before you give my girl a heart attack
Jake
I said put the money inside that bag and take your weapons and put it inside that pillow case, fuck your appointment with the Russians you're not going to make it
Alonzo Harris
[while he puts his guns inside the pillow case Sara gave him]
so you're going to hook me and book me? You're the one that was smoking the dust, you're the one who ran out like a maniac and you're the one who shot Roger
Jake
How about the gun in your ankle?
Alonzo Harris
You want the one in my back pocket?
Jake
Yeah I would
Alonzo Harris
You got one problem though, you got no witnesses, who are your fucking witnesses? Roger? Smiley? You think my troops are going to help you? What can you prove? Where's your evidence?
Jake
[points to the bag filled with money as Alonzo flicks a cigarette into Jake's face]
It's right there
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Alonzo Harris
A DUI stop, let me load up my guns a DUI stop, OH SHIT!
Jake
Listen man, its a good one, we were on watch.
Alonzo Harris
We?
Jake
Me and Debbie, my training officer
Jake
She was white
Alonzo Harris
Liquor License?
Jake
A what?
Alonzo Harris
"A Liquor License", was she a dyke? A lesbian?
Jake
I don't know.
Alonzo Harris
Was she good looking?
Jake
Yeah, pretty good.
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Blue
Civil rights violatin' mothafuckas.
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Alonzo Harris
[to Jake]
Now, whenever you think of pullin' the trigger, you think of him first. 'Cuz if you don't, he'll snatch your fuckin' nuts out and use 'em for dice.
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Alonzo Harris
[repeated line to several people on different occasions]
You wanna go to jail or you wanna go home?
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Jake Hoyt
Police Department! Let's see your hands!
Alonzo Harris
Put your hands up! Put 'em up! Put 'em up! Driver, right side passenger, hands on the windshield!
Alonzo Harris
Put it in park!
College Driver
Stick shift.
Alonzo Harris
Take your keys out and throw 'em in the window. Take your keys out and throw 'em in the window.
Male College Passenger
I'm sorry.
[to driver]
Alonzo Harris
Fork it over!
College Driver
What are you talking about?
Alonzo Harris
You know what I'm talking about. The marijuana. Give it to me! Give it to me!
[to front passenger]
Alonzo Harris
Gimme that pipe underneath your seat.
Male College Passenger
My mom gave it to me.
Alonzo Harris
I don't care who gave it to you. She can pick it up in jail. What else you got? C'mon, c'mon, gimme, gimme, gimme.
[female removes hands from glass]
Jake Hoyt
Miss, palms on the glass!
Alonzo Harris
[to female]
You move those hands again, I'll slap the taste out of your mouth. Put your hands over there. Right there.
[to driver]
Alonzo Harris
Now what are you doing out here? You know this is a gang neighborhood?
College Driver
Yeah.
Alonzo Harris
Then don't come down here again. I catch you down here again, I'ma take your vehicle. I'ma make you walk home. I'ma let the homeboys up the hill run a train on your girlfriend. You know what a train is, don't you?
College Driver
Yeah.
Alonzo Harris
All right, thanks for your cooperation.
[to Jake]
Alonzo Harris
Let's go. Safe your iron, son.
Male College Passenger
Shit!
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Jake
[after being invited to play poker with them, while taking off his jacket and sitting down]
what'd you guys got going on here? Five-card draw?
Sniper
Yeah, jokers are wild
Moreno
So, why don't you tell us something? How long you been a pig?
Moreno
Is that right?
Jake
That's right
Moreno
you like it or what?
Jake
three of a kind: three jacks
Sniper
But Smiley I got two pair!
Smiley
three of a kind beats two pair, you fuckin dumb truck
Sniper
¿En serio?
Moreno
En serio. You're fuckin stupid ese, why don't you take your medication or something?
[Sniper flips him off]
Moreno
Yeah I know I'm number one.
Moreno
[to Jake after Sniper flips him off]
you see why we don't play for money? It's because of this vato.
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Alonzo Harris
We're here to serve this warrant.
Jake Hoyt
C'mon, man. We can't do that.
Alonzo Harris
Yes, hell we can. We're the police, we can do what the fuck we wanna do.
Jake Hoyt
Shouldn't we go get a real warrant?
Alonzo Harris
We're trying to get shit done. Just stand over there and don't get me killed, all right, new guy?
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Jake Hoyt
[referring to Alonzo letting go two would be rapists and letting the victim's cousins exact revenge on them]
That's street justice.
Jake Hoyt
Oh, what, so just let the animals wipe themselves out, right?
Alonzo Harris
God willing. Fuck 'em, and everybody that looks like 'em.
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Jake
[Driving away from Sandman's house after the shooting]
God damn it that was not cool opening fire in the middle of a neighborhood where was the Sandman? What the hell were you doing back there?
Alonzo Harris
I was checking for narcotic activity drugs, guns, and baggies
Jake
Cash
Alonzo Harris
Speak on it
Jake
She's screaming about money
Alonzo Harris
She's just talking shit, she's talking about us getting killed
Jake
I'm going to be on the six o'clock news in an orange suit in hand cuffs because of you with the scandals and what not it is open season on misconduct they will nail us to the wall
Alonzo Harris
Listen, you're in a privileged position to learn a thing or two keep your mouth shut and your eyes open you say you're serious about doing some real police this is the place to learn but if this kind of shit shakes you up maybe you should go back to your division you have to decide if you're a wolf or a sheep
[Alonzo shows Jake his tattoo, after pulling over on the side of the highway]
Alonzo Harris
Get your ink
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Roger
Hoyt. Hoyt. Hoyt... Strong Saftey. North High. I follow all the good players.
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Smiley
I am always getting love for the homies.
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[first lines, after he shuts off the alarm clock]
Jake
It's time.
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Alonzo Harris
[to Jake while walking up the stairs to Smiley's house]
Believe it or not, I do try to do some good in the community.
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Blue
I told ya'll I don't work for nobody. Why the fuck are ya'll sweatin' me any mothafuckin' way?
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[Hoyt just smoked some weed]
Alonzo Harris
When was the last time you smoked weed?
Jake Hoyt
High school... We were...
Alonzo Harris
Smoking weed.
Jake Hoyt
Right.
Alonzo Harris
Right.
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Jake Hoyt
Uh, couple weeks ago?
Alonzo Harris
Good, you need practice.
Jake Hoyt
They look like college kids.
Alonzo Harris
They're gonna get their education today. I don't want the Brady Bunch grabbin' glass. You take the back, I'll take the front.
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Alonzo Harris
[repeated line to Jake, referring to police, procedures, rules and regulations don't apply to all situations therefore police officers need to make their own judgment and discretion when in the field]
You did what you had to do.
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Alonzo Harris
Yeah, I know you got secrets. Everybody got secrets. Didn't know you liked to get wet, dog.
Jake
What's "wet"?
Alonzo Harris
Butt-naked. Ill. Sherms. Dust. PCP. Primos. P-Dog. That's what you had. That's what you were smoking, you couldn't taste it?
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Alonzo Harris
Boom!
[before and after Jake tells him the DUI story inside the coffee shop]
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Jake Hoyt
[referring to Blue]
That stuff doesn't fly anymore, man. Shovin' a pen down - what if that guy complains?
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Jake
[Telling Alonzo a story in a coffee shop]
It was a quiet night we were rolling on Van Nuys I'm driving this Acura comes out a side street all over the median in excess I light it up hit the whaler guy drives on like I'm invisible for ten blocks before he pulls over plates were unclean so I'm watching from our unit and she's tossing the Acura she calls me over to the vehicle a snub 38 two shotguns fully loaded so she calls our supervisor and I keep searching and I find five hundred grams of meth turns out this DUI is on bail for distribution and is on his way to smoke his ex-partner before trial so we prevented a murder.
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