How the Grinch Stole Christmas Movie Quotes
The Grinch
The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, jazzercize; 6:30, dinner with me - I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9:00, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness. But what would I wear?
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The Grinch
All right, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you. Then, one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. No, forget that part. We'll improvise... just keep it kind of loosey-goosey. You HATE Christmas! You're gonna steal it. Saving Christmas is a lousy ending, way too commercial. ACTION!
[Max knocks the red nose off]
The Grinch
BRILLIANT! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism. Why didn't I think of that? Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.
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The Grinch
MAX. HELP ME... I'm FEELING.
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The Grinch
I tell you Max, I don't know why I ever leave this place. I've got all the company I need right here.
[indicates himself]
The Grinch
[shouts] Hello?
Echo
Hello.
The Grinch
How are you?
Echo
How are you?
The Grinch
I asked you first.
Echo
I asked you first.
The Grinch
Oh right, that's REALLY mature, saying exactly what I say.
Echo
...Saying exactly what I say.
The Grinch
I'm an idiot!
Echo
You're an idiot!
The Grinch
[whispering] Alright fine! I'm not talking to you anymore! In fact, I'm going to whisper! So that by the time my voice reverbarates off the walls, and gets back to me, I won't be able to hear it.
[pause]
Echo
You're an idiot!
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[a taxicab passes him by]
The Grinch
It's because I'm green isn't it?
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The Grinch
Am I just eating because I'm bored?
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The Grinch
Any calls?
Grinch's Answering Machine
[computer voice]
You have no messages.
The Grinch
Odd. Better check the outgoing.
Grinch's Answering Machine
[Grinch's voice]
If you utter so much as one syllable, I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! If you'd like to fax me, press the star key.
The Grinch
Hmm. Oh well.
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The Grinch
We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop!
[continues to scream and yell, then chuckle as he gets the sleigh under control]
The Grinch
Whew... ha! Almost lost my *cool* there.
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Cindy Lou Who
Santa?
The Grinch
WHAT?
Cindy Lou Who
Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy, but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
The Grinch
SWEET? You think he's sweet?
[goes upstairs]
The Grinch
Nice kid... baaad judge of character.
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Who Father
Hey, Honey! Our baby's here.
[looks closely at the baby]
Who Father
He looks just like your boss.
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Cindy Lou Who
We're gonna crash!
The Grinch
Now you listen to me, young lady! Even if we're *horribly mangled*, there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.
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The Grinch
[messing with people's mail]
Jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, black mail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, jury duty.
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Narrator
The Whos young and old would sit down to a feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast.
The Grinch
And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast. They'll eat their Who-Pudding and rare Who-Roast Beast. But that's something I just cannot stand in the least. Oh, no. I'M SPEAKING IN RHYME!
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The Grinch
That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been *about*. Gifts, gifts... gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts, gifts! You wanna know what happens to your gifts? They all come to me. In your garbage. You see what I'm saying? In your *garbage*. I could hang myself with all the bad Christmas neckties I found at the dump. And the avarice...
[shouts]
The Grinch
The avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make GLUE!" Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this *whole* Christmas season is...
[shouts again]
The Grinch
...stupid, stupid, stupid!
[calmer]
The Grinch
There is, however, one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful...
[holds up mistletoe]
The Grinch
Mistletoe.
[puts mistletoe over his butt]
The Grinch
Now pucker up and kiss it, Whoville!
[wiggles mistletoe]
The Grinch
Boi-yoi-yoi-yoing!
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Narrator
So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave, hating the Whos.
[looks into book]
The Grinch
Aadvarkian Abakeneezer Who, I...
[Yelling]
The Grinch
HATE YOU!
[looks into book again]
The Grinch
Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate *you*.
[looking into book]
The Grinch
Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!
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The Grinch
One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.
[Max barks]
The Grinch
I don't know, it's some kind of soup.
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The Grinch
It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags.
Narrator
And he puzzled and puzzled til his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
The Grinch
Maybe Christmas...
Narrator
He thought...
The Grinch
...doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more.
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Cindy Lou Who
Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?
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The Grinch
I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking.
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Martha May Whovier
Did I have a crush on the Grinch? Well, of course not.
Cindy Lou Who
Uh, I didn't ask you that.
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The Grinch
Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.
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The Grinch
What's that stench? It's fantastic.
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The Grinch
Oh, the Who-manity.
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Lou Lou Who
I'm glad he took our presents. You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor, because it isn't about the... the gifts or the contest or the fancy lights. That's what Cindy's been trying to tell everyone... and me. I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here: my family.
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[Cindy meets the Grinch for the first time]
Cindy Lou Who
You're the... the... the...
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The Grinch
[after Max bites on his cloak]
That is not a chew toy! Stop it, Max! Get that out of your mouth! You have no idea where it's been!
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Lou Lou Who
[after sons have said they had seen the Grinch]
I'm sure they were just up on Mount Crumpit... playing with matches... defacing public property or something or other.
Mayor Augustus Maywho
Oh, well that's a relief.
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Mayor Augustus Maywho
The anger.
Whobris
The fury.
[cut to Martha May Whovier]
Martha May Whovier
The muscles!
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Mayor Augustus Maywho
They nursed you. They clothed you. Here they are! Your old biddies!
The Grinch
Are you two still living?
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The Grinch
I am the Grinch that stole Christmas... and I'm sorry.
[long silence]
The Grinch
Aren't you going to cuff me? Put me in a choke hold? Blind me with pepper spray?
Mayor Augustus Maywho
You heard him, Officer. He admitted it. I'd go with the pepper spray.
Officer Wholihan
Yes, I heard him all right. He said he was sorry.
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[starts to sit on the car]
The Grinch
You might want to scooch over.
[the whos run away]
The Grinch
You did the right thing.
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The Grinch
[Grabs his mask and yells at Cindy]
There! Give me that! Don't you know you're not suppose to take things that don't belong to you? What's the matter with you? You some kind of wild animal? Huh?
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The Grinch
I know. Hairy.
Cindy Lou Who
No.
The Grinch
Greasy? Stinky? Do I have a zit?
Cindy Lou Who
No. Warm.
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The Grinch
Those Whos are hard to frazzle, Max. But, we did our worst, and that's all that matters.
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[first lines]
Narrator
Inside a snowflake like the one on your sleeve, there happened a story you must see to believe.
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The Grinch
Oh, no, the sleigh, the presents, they'll be destroyed, and I care!
[shouts]
The Grinch
What is the deal?
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The Grinch
Well, pucker up and kiss it, Whoville.
[puts mistletoe up to his butt and makes a taunting noise as he shakes it around]
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Narrator
Then he slunk to the icebox.
[the Grinch hugs the fridge into place]
The Grinch
Slunk?
[opens up the fridge]
The Grinch
Eee.
Narrator
He eyed the Whos' feast. He took the Who-Pudding.
[the Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away]
Narrator
He took... the Roast Beast.
The Grinch
Hike!
[tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position]
Narrator
[as the Grinch messes everything up the fridge]
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why, that Grinch, he even took their last can of Who-Hash.
[the Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal a last can of Who-Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens her bedroom door]
Narrator
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
The Grinch
And now...
Narrator
...grinned the Grinch...
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Cindy Lou Who
Thanks for saving me.
The Grinch
[stops in his tracks]
Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o. I merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear.
[grabs wrapping paper and starts wrapping Cindy up]
The Grinch
Hold still.
[to Max]
The Grinch
Max, pick out a bow.
[to Cindy]
The Grinch
Can I use your finger for a second?
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Narrator
And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought...
The Grinch
I must stop this whole thing!
The Grinch
Why, for year after year I've put up with it now. I must stop this Christmas from coming... but how? I MEAN... in what way?
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[last lines]
Narrator
So he brought back the toys and the food for the feast. And he, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beast.
The Grinch
There's nothing like the holidays. Who wants the gizzard?
Drew Lou Who
I do.
The Grinch
Too late. That'll be mine.
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8-Year-Old Augustus Maywho
You don't have a chance with her. You're 8 years old and you have a beard!
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Lou Lou Who
Let's see, we've got a munkle for your uncle, a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your Cousin Leon.
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Clerk
For the next 5 minutes only, 99% off!
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Lou Lou Who
Hello? Is my Subzero Chillibrator running? I suppose.
The Grinch
Well then you better go catch it.
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The Grinch
Holiday who-be what-ee?
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Mayor Augustus Maywho
If you marry me, along with a lifetime supply of happiness, you'll also receive this... it's a NEW CAR. Generously provided by the taxpayers of Whoville.
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Cindy Lou Who
Everybody seems to kerbabbled. Isn't this just a little superfluous?
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The Grinch
Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas?
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Mayor Augustus Maywho
He had hair. Not pleasant. He shed. Not right.
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The Grinch
[watching Santa through binoculars]
Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.
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Stu Lou Who
Get on it, girls. All the good mistletoe's at the top. Hey, Drew, I'll race you!
Drew Lou Who
Not if I race you first.
Stu Lou Who
Last one to the top is a stinky old Grinch!
Junie
[they started running and laughing]
You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.
Stu Lou Who
WHAT? You're scared of The Grinch!
Junie
Junie, Christina Whoterberry: No!
Drew Lou Who
They say he lives up here in a big cave. And only comes down when he's hungry for the taste of... WHO-FLESH!
Christina Whoterberry
Oh, Drew!
Stu Lou Who
You're scared of the Grinch! You're scared of The Grinch!
Junie
Am not!
Stu Lou Who
Are too!
Junie
Am not!
Stu Lou Who
Are too!
Junie
[they laughed and giggled and they climed up to the top]
Wait for me!
[they come to the door, Stu and Drew are bit taken back]
Christina Whoterberry
Oh, go on touch it. Touch the door.
Christina Whoterberry
[as Junie hushes to Christina]
Do it for me, Stu.
[as Stu said yes when he was scared and looks at Drew. They tiptoed and Stu tries to touch the door and a green looking monster scares Drew and Stu and started screaming and so does both of them and they jumped out of the mountain]
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The Grinch
You called down the thunder. Now get ready FOR THE BOOM! Gaze into the face of fear.
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The Grinch
Dad, move it!
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Narrator
...the old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
[the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet]
Narrator
He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch but if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
The Grinch
[imitating sports announcer]
He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty.
[jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing]
The Grinch
Whoo!
[leans closer to the chimney]
The Grinch
Laa-Laaa-Laaaaaaa!
[lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]
Narrator
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
The Grinch
Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips.
[struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace]
The Grinch
Ow! Gee!
[looks at the view of the living room]
Narrator
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue...
The Grinch
These stockings...
The Grinch
...are the first things to go.
[picks out a jar of moths]
The Grinch
Okay, fellas. Chow time.
[frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings. Then, the Grinch lowers a hose, and sucks everything into his bag, as he laughs evilly]
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Shopper
[the Grinch starts sneaking around people]
Merry Christmas!
The Grinch
Oh, yeah, you bet. Uh... Ho, ho, ho, and stuff.
[he looks up at the bikers as they get bumped by a shopper]
The Grinch
Oh, my. Someone has vandalized that vehicle.
Narrator
The Grinch hated Christmas, the whole Christmas season.
The Grinch
Top of the day, Flatfoot.
Narrator
Now, please, don't ask why. No quite knows the reason.
The Grinch
[he looks at the children]
Hey, kids. Here's a present for you. Be sure to run real fast with it. Come on. Double time. Let's go. MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, MOVE!
Narrator
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right, Or it could be, perhaps, That his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Shopper
Merry Christmas.
The Grinch
Idiot.
Crazy Mose
Hey, stranger. Won't let you go till you buy a chapeau!
[the Grinch belches a green odor and blows his head as he faints as the Grinch laughs evilly]
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The Grinch
[Max continues barking at teenage Whos as they slide down back to Whoville]
Well done, Max! Serves them right, those Yuletide loving, sickly sweet, nog sucking cheer mongers.
[Camera pans to Grinch's mouth]
The Grinch
I really don't like 'em. Mmm-mm! No, I don't.
[He eats a rotten onion]
The Grinch
MAX!
[Max whimpers]
The Grinch
Get my cloak!
[Max goes to get his cloak]
The Grinch
I've been much too tolerant of these Whovenile delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.
[From the back, we see the Grinch using the half eaten onion as deodorant, and he throws it away as he goes outside]
The Grinch
So, they want to get to know me, do they? They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch.
[He turns now, facing the camera with a grouchy face]
The Grinch
I guess I could use a little... social interaction.
[He smiles deviously]
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Who
[while shoving food in the Grinch's mouth] This is NOT pudding.
The Grinch
What is it?
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Lou Lou Who
Let's see, we've got a munkle for your uncle, a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your Cousin Leon.
Cindy Lou Who
Daddy, doesn't this all seem a bit superfluous.
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Cindy Lou Who
Daddy, move!
The Grinch
Dad, move it!
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The Grinch
Out of the way! I've no insurance!
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