Gone in 60 Seconds Movie Quotes
[as Freb and Mirror Man watch Sway feeding Toby]
The Sphinx
If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life and inspired you to change your ways, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby? I say poor us.
[everyone stares in awe at Sphinx]
Tumbler
He spoke.
Atley Jackson
Yeah...
Memphis
Hey man, I thought you were from Long Beach.
[Sphinx, drinking a beer, just shrugs. Laughter]
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Memphis
I just stole fifty cars in one night! I'm a little tired, a little *wired*, and I think I deserve a little appreciation!
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[in a Ferrari dealership]
Roger the Car Salesman
My name's Roger, sir. May I be of some help?
Memphis
That's funny, my name's Roger... Two Rogers don't make a right.
[laughs]
Memphis
Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman
Yes?
Memphis
I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman
Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis
Perhaps, mmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-Indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...
Roger the Car Salesman
You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.
Memphis
Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.
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Freb
Hey, man, that was as easy as pie!
Donny
I'm a veteran, son.
[a carjacker jams a gun through the window]
Punk
[shouting]
Get outta the car, bitch, or I'm gonna blow your brains out!
Donny
You gotta be shittin' me...
Punk
Do I have shoot you, damn it?
[Donny takes his gun and knocks him out]
Freb
Damn!
Donny
[gets out of the car and kicks the punk]
You lazy, half-ass bully! Any asshole can pull a gun on somebody! You don't know the first thing about stealing a car! Boy! You need a role model!
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Drycoff
Are you alright?
Bashed Cop
I think so...
Drycoff
Are you sure? 'Cause you just went through a wall.
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Raymond Calitri
Am I an arsehole? Do I look like an arsehole?
Memphis
Yeah.
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Memphis
Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory.
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Did Eleanor tell you that?
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Donny
Ahhh, the list. Well, I guess we gotta start beatin' the bushes trying to find out where they... whoa. 1967 Shelby GT 500?
Memphis
I know. I know.
Donny
You got Eleanor here?
Memphis
It's weird, huh?
Donny
It's... voodoo.
Memphis
Oh, nonono, no, don't, don't say that.
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Police chopper pilot
[after Memphis got away from the helicopter driving Eleanor] He's gone.
Drycoff
Man this guy can drive!
Det. Roland Castlebeck
What? WHAT?
Drycoff
It's probably mostly the car...
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Sway
What do you think is more exciting... having sex or stealing cars?
Memphis
Having sex or boosting cars... Um, oo! Well, uh... How about having sex WHILE boosting cars?
Sway
Oh, that's a good line. Doesn't work on a lot of girls, though.
Memphis
I just blurted it out, I'm sorry... But, you haven't answered the question.
Sway
Well, you see, the problem is... how do you get over the shifter?
Memphis
Oh, oh right... because the uh...
Sway
'Cos it gets in the way.
Memphis
Because you wouldn't want to disrupt the syncro-mesh... the throttle linkage... the clutch master cylinder... the overhead camshaft.
Sway
I can't do this.
Memphis
Straight inline 6, triple Weber carburetors, bolted to each other's body structures...
Sway
Well, it's time to work...
Memphis
Good brakes... good brakes, too!
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Donny
Hello, and welcome to "TV Car Trivia!" First question, who was the driver of a '73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?
Otto Halliwell
Uh, Jim Rockford, "Rockford Files".
Sara "Sway" Wayland
Gimme "Columbo".
Kip
A Peugeot convertible.
Donny
What color?
Kip
Gray.
Mirror Man
How do you know that?
Kip
'Cause I love that show.
Mirror Man
Man, I got three words for all of y'all: Get a life!
Freb
What's on Magnum P.I.'s license plate?
Tumbler
"ROBIN-1"
Kip
Wait, wasn't Robin that faggoty guy that always hung with him?
Memphis
Naw, that was Higgins. That was Higgins.
Otto Halliwell
Hey, hey, ten points for our fearless leader. Sway, how about giving us the Bill Bixby trifecta?
Sara "Sway" Wayland
Drove a Corvette in "The Magician", a Ford pickup truck in "The Incredible Hulk", and in "The Courtship of Eddie's Father", he walked.
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Kip
Hey, what time is it?
Atley Jackson
Seven-thirty. I think I'm gonna have to - get you outta town or something. Your brother's the best boost in the world but I don't how if he's gonna make this one.
Kip
Uh, I'm not like my brother. You know, I don't just abandon my friends.
Atley Jackson
Oh man, I oughta smack you silly, boy. You think your brother ran away, you better get your story straight.
Kip
Well, go on then. Straighten it out.
Atley Jackson
Your mother told him to go. She knew that if Memphis stayed, you were gonna walk his line. You were gonna join his crew. But she told him to pick up and go. And he did, thinking it was best for you. He left all of us, for you. I guess it wasn't that big a deal for him though, really. Wasn't that big a sacrifice leaving everything he'd ever known behind. Than six years later, ain't life grand? You became a car boost anyway. How 'bout that?
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Sway
I've got two jobs. I've discovered that you have to work twice as hard when it's honest.
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Memphis
Control, vision, determination. These are the three fundamental components of the new generation race car driver. Speed is a byproduct. Going fast. But remember: The car is you, you are the car. Okay? Let's ride!
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Memphis
I am a baaaad man.
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[giving driving lessons]
Donny
Don't look at me, look at the people next to you! Nex... Look at the... - well, turn the wheel! Pull over, pull her the hell over!
Driver 1
Asshole!
Driver 2
Learn how to drive!
Donny
[shuts car off] Don't touch nothing! You can't negotiate turns. You can't signal properly. You can't maintain speed. You can't parallel park. Hell, you can't drive, honey. Shit, I can't swim, I know I can't. So you know what I do? I stay my black ass out the pool!
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[after Calitri falls to his death, Memphis and Castlebeck both look at Castlebeck's dropped gun. Slowly, Castlebeck bends over and picks it up]
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Here I am smack dab in the middle of a moral dilemma, Randall. You've ripped this city to shreds with that little escapade of yours, you and your Eleanor. But I understand what brought you back here. A brother's love is... a brother's love.
[pause]
Det. Roland Castlebeck
You just saved my life, didn't you? So what are we going to do now?
Memphis
It's your call, Detective.
Det. Roland Castlebeck
[chuckles]
Get out of here, Randall. I'll clean this up. Go, now, before I change my mind. Go.
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[Freb brings a Cadillac into Otto's place]
Freb
I can deliver more than pizzas, huh? Boosted her myself.
Donny
How did you get this car?
Freb
Actually, the keys were in it.
Donny
Well, that kinda defies the point.
Memphis
You stole a car that wasn't on the list. Why don't you just go to the police station in a red clown suit and let everybody know what we're doing here?
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Sara "Sway" Wayland
[after boosting Car #37: the 1971 Plymouth Hemi Barricuda - Shannon]
It had to be a girl car.
Memphis
Girl car? What kind of girl drives a Hemi 'Cuda?
Sara "Sway" Wayland
I'll show you.
[Sway puts on red lipstick]
Memphis
Lipstick?
Sara "Sway" Wayland
Matches the car.
[Sway chuckles]
Memphis
What's next? Blush? Mascara?
Sara "Sway" Wayland
Next time I'll pull out the, uh... leather, high heels and pink underwear for you.
Memphis
Leather, High Heels and...
[with Sway]
Sara "Sway" Wayland
Sara "Sway" Wayland, Memphis: Pink underwear.
[Sway laughing]
Memphis
Pink underwear works. Pink underwear works.
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[when Calitri turns on the car crusher, Memphis points a gun at him]
Memphis
Shut it off!
Raymond Calitri
You got 30 seconds to consider your options.
Raymond Calitri
One, you kill me, they kill you, your brother dies anyway. Two, you lie, you accept the job, you run, I hunt you down, I kill you, I kill your brother, and I kill your mother for the aggravation you cause me. Three, you accept the job, you steal some cars, you make some money, and you be a big brother.
[Memphis surrenders. One of Calitri's goons turns off the crusher]
Raymond Calitri
8 a.m. Friday morning. The cars are on the boat, or your brother's in the coffin.
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Drycoff
Who's Eleanor?
Det. Roland Castlebeck
It's a damn car. And don't ever talk about my wife.
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Sway
While *you*... still look like a bible salesman.
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Police chopper pilot
Air One. we're over the pursuit.
[Memphis hits the nitrous button]
Police chopper pilot
Suspect has increased speed to 120.
Drycoff
Maintain visual, Air One.
Police chopper pilot
140 miles an hour.
Drycoff
*Do not* lose him.
Police chopper pilot
This is an A-Star, sir, not an Apache.
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Raymond Calitri
They threw us out of England, they threw us out of France, so here we are. Flourishing, really, except for the minor inconvenience of despising everything about your country.
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Memphis
The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.
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Tumbler
Yo, so check out my new move. I call it "the Stranger." What I do is, I sit on my hand for, like, 15, 20 minutes, until it goes numb. No feeling at all. And then I rub one out.
Toby
"The Stranger," huh?
Atley Jackson
It's like a little boy's nursery school I've come upon here.
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Donny
See ya tomorrow night, Eleanor, with your fine ass.
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[last lines]
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Freb
The corner of Wiltern and Wetherley... Tumbler messed up, he said the Porsche should be at the corner of Wiltern and Wetherly.
Kip
There it is.
Mirror Man
You're bullshitting me, right? 9024 Wiltern?
Kip
I gotta get my tool.
Mirror Man
Kip! He ain't bullshitting, man!
[Kip opens the boot, retrieves half a brick]
Mirror Man
Kip that's not a tool... that's a damn brick! Kip, man we gonna use a brick, we may as well call prison and make reservations!
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Mirror Man
[to Sphinx]
Damn it's cold up here, they keep these Ferraris refrigerated? And you know black people don't like cold weather, we're tropical people. Man, when this is over I'm gonna smoke a joint, watch two hours of Roots and I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!
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Freb
You ever feel bad about any of this?
Donny
Hell, no. I'm Robin Hood, man. I rob from the rich and give to the needy.
Freb
You mean the poor.
Donny
No, like I said, the needy. 'Cause brother, we need this car.
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Drycoff
All gone, we didn't get a single one of them, and we are talking about professionals. No visible damage to locking mechanisms, steering columns, or ignitions, and as you can see, these are not Honda Civics. This is one of three brand-new Mercedes, a car they say is "unstealable."
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Memphis
For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed. You got it?
Mirror Man
It's cool, man.
Memphis
Obviously, they're on to us. He's sniffing real close. If anything tonight appears out of place, I want you to cut bait, get out of there, and walk away. And get rid of this goddamn car!
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[the crew enters the Ferrari garage]
Sway
Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.
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Johnnie B.
Raines! Memphis Raines!
Memphis
Do I know you?
Johnnie B.
Well, you should know me, considering all the business you screwed up for me in the past, baby.
Memphis
Johnnie B.
Johnnie B.
That's me.
Memphis
What can I do for you?
Johnnie B.
Well, I'll tell you what you can do for me. Get out of Long Beach, tonight.
Memphis
I'm just here for a few days, I'm here on some family business.
Johnnie B.
Word on the street is that Raymond Calitri hired you and your brother for a top order, a order that should have gone to me.
Memphis
That's not the way it went down, Johnnie...
[Johnnie and his thugs attack Memphis; he fights some of them off, but then they pin him. Johnnie draws back his fist, but then someone shatters the window of his car]
Johnnie B.
Hey! Get away from my car, asshole!
[Sphinx blows up the car, then advances, shedding his coat]
Johnnie B.
Got something to say before I kill you, fool?
[Sphinx easily thrashes Johnnie and all his thugs]
Memphis
Sphinx. Otto sent you?
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[Johnnie B.'s gang is chasing Memphis and Kip, but they stop when they go into a diner with a police car outside]
Memphis
Look!
[pointing]
Memphis
Cop car! Uh-huh! Long as I'm in there, you're just gonna sit out there, aren't you, ai'ight?
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Memphis
[Memphis breaks one of the side mirrors off of Eleanor]
It's okay, Eleanor. It can be fixed.
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Donny
Hey, did you see a box of rubber gloves around here?
Mirror Man
Gloves? Man, you don't need gloves! This is the new age! Check it out.
Donny
What is this?
Mirror Man
Just let me see that big claw you call a hand.
[He spreads adhesive onto Donny's fingertip]
Mirror Man
That ain't donut jelly, so don't eat it.
[He applies the false fingerprint]
Mirror Man
Your new fingerprints. Elvis is back.
Donny
Damn...
Mirror Man
Boy got skills, right?
Donny
Yeah, you do.
[They bump fists]
Donny
You're like a little ghetto Smurf.
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Otto Halliwell
How many days?
Memphis
Three.
Otto Halliwell
How many in your crew?
Memphis
One, but I'm here to negotiate for a second.
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Drycoff
What's up?
Det. Roland Castlebeck
What's the story with that HumVee?
Drycoff
Gone.
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Cadillac?
Drycoff
Same. Where we goin'?
Det. Roland Castlebeck
The only '67 Shelby in the area is registered at a place called the International Towers in Long Beach.
Drycoff
Let's go to Long Beach.
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[approaching an alarm panel]
Mirror Man
Now, to get this open we just...
[Sphinx flicks his knife, and pries the panel open]
Mirror Man
I'm telling you, I'm running this shit! You do that again, and I will kick...!
[Sphinx turns and glares at him, still holding his knife]
Mirror Man
...Cool, man. You don't have to take everything so damn personal.
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Drycoff
That sign said "DO NOT ENTER".
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Ya, you noticed, huh?
[nearly sideswipe a oncoming vehicle]
Drycoff
Gee!
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Keep your pants on.
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Ignacio
That's nasty. What kind of a sicko gets their jollies from playin' with dog shit, man?
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Raymond Calitri
[over the phone]
Time's up, Atley. I've got 49 cars. That's one less than required. Bring the kid and we'll settle this.
Atley Jackson
Which kid is that?
Raymond Calitri
Oh, the Cincinnati Kid, Billy the Kid. Which kid do you think I meant?
Atley Jackson
Oh gee, I think you mean Kip Raines.
Raymond Calitri
Well, gee, I think you're right.
Atley Jackson
You know what? The funniest thing happened: That little son of a bitch evaded me.
Raymond Calitri
Find him, Atley.
Atley Jackson
What if I can't find him?
Raymond Calitri
Then big brother takes the fall for the slip-up. It don't matter much to me. One Raines is as good as another. It never rains but it pours.
[hangs up]
Atley Jackson
Son of a - ! Ju - Well, I guess you can thank your big brother. I think he just took your place under the guillotine.
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[on their way to steal cars from the police impound]
Mirror Man
Hey, Sphinx, I don't look suspicious, do I, man?
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Raymond Calitri
I try to learn your ways, understand your obsessions. But this baseball, it's so bleedin' boring, isn't it?
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Memphis
I'd like to get a... chocolate malt.
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Otto Halliwell
We're gonna have to go old school on this. A day to shop, a day to prep.
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[looking at the Humvee]
Mirror Man
Hey Sphinx, check it out. Homeboy got "SNAKE" on the license plate. Well, Snake gon' have to slither his ass all the way to the bus stop in the morning... I got some low-riding music for you. It's better than that cracker shit you listen to.
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Otto Halliwell
Wait, he usually goes for the license plate... are you sure?
[Toby shows him the ripped up envelope]
Tumbler
Wait a minute... Wait a minute... the dog ate the keys.
Toby
YES.
[Sphinx flicks open his knife]
Toby
Toby, Otto Halliwell: [stops Sphinx] Whoa... don't even think about it, Sphinx.
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Det. Roland Castlebeck
The easy way or the hard way, Raines. Easy way or the hard way.
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Mirror Man
[Mirror Man just applied fake fingerprints to Donny's hand]
Ya' boy got skills, right?
Donny
Yeah you do. You look like a little ghetto smurf.
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Det. Roland Castlebeck
I'm a police officer. You don't want to do that now.
Raymond Calitri
Yeah, I do.
Det. Roland Castlebeck
Listen to me. You walk out of here with me, you've got some options. You kill me - now you think about this, I'm a police officer - your life will be over.
Raymond Calitri
No, you've got that the wrong way around. If I kill you, *your* life's over. Not all bad, though. Your funeral will be on the telly. Everybody out there, pressed and dressed. Guard of honor, twenty-one gun salute, and the stars and stripes draped all over your coffin.
[tightens his finger on the trigger]
Raymond Calitri
It'll be the greatest day of your life...
[Memphis appears and kicks Calitri over the rail]
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[distracting the guard at the impound with a Barbie]
Mirror Man
Hey, lookie here, she's a brick... , duh-duh-duh, house.
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Johnnie B.
[Memphis toasting to Johnnie B. and the gang]
I'm gonna smoke you!
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