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Kinoafisha Films A Real Pain A Real Pain Movie Quotes

A Real Pain Movie Quotes

[Benji is explaining to David how they can get through their train trip without paying]

Benji Kaplan We stay moving, we stay light, we stay agile.

David Kaplan Yeah.

Benji Kaplan The conductor's gonna come through taking tickets. We tell him we're going to the bathroom.

David Kaplan The bathroom. Okay.

Benji Kaplan He gets to the back of the train, he starts heading towards the front looking for stragglers.

David Kaplan Sorry, we're the stragglers?

Benji Kaplan Yeah. By the time he gets to the front, the train's gonna be in the station and we're home free.

David Kaplan This is so fucking stupid.

Benji Kaplan Man, what's stupid is the corporatization of travel. Ensuring that the rich move around the world, propagate their elitist loins, while the poor stay cut off from society.

David Kaplan That's great, we can argue Marxism while they're hauling us off to Siberia.

Benji Kaplan Siberia is in Russia, Dave.

David Kaplan This is ridiculous. Tickets are probably like twelve bucks.

Benji Kaplan It's the principle of paying. We shouldn't have to pay for train tickets in Poland. This is our country.

David Kaplan No, it's not. It was our country. They kicked us out 'cause they thought we were cheap.

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Marcia Last year my daughter married a very rich man.

Benji Kaplan Oh, fuck.

Marcia And she's incapable of having a conversation with any depth anymore.

Benji Kaplan Well, yeah, of course. Money's like fucking heroin for boring people.

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Marcia David, we numb ourselves to avoid thinking about our impact.

Eloge Ignoring the proverbial slaughterhouse to enjoy the steak, as it were.

Benji Kaplan Yes, Eloge! Damn, that's a good analogy.

David Kaplan No, and I get that, I get all that, it just seems like maybe there's, like, a time and a place to grieve, and maybe it's not...

Benji Kaplan Yo, Dave.

David Kaplan What?

Benji Kaplan We're on a fucking Holocaust tour. If now is not the time and place to grieve, to open up, I don't know what to tell you, man.

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[having gotten drunk and made a fool of himself, Benji has just excused himself from his tour group's dinner table to use the restroom, leaving the group in awkward silence]

David Kaplan Sorry about him.

Eloge No, no.

Diane What a troubled young man.

Eloge He wants to be good. You can see the spark. Do you know what I mean?

Marcia Yeah. Absolutely, Eloge.

Mark Forgive me if I don't see this magical spark.

Diane Oh, Mark, stop it. He's tormented, for whatever reason.

Mark Okay.

Marcia He's funny and he's charming under all the mishegoss.

Diane I feel bad for him.

Marcia Has he always been like this?

David Kaplan Yeah. I mean, he's always been, like, up and down, you know? Like, he's sensitive, and he, like, sees people so clearly, you know? But then you say the wrong thing and, like, something switches. Or maybe it's not appropriate to talk about him.

Marcia No.

Diane No, what's not appropriate? You obviously got something going on between you and, uh - well, he's clearly in pain.

David Kaplan Yeah, but isn't everyone in pain in some way? I mean, look at what happened to our families, look at where we came from. I mean, who isn't - you know, who isn't wrought?

Mark Well, you seem okay.

David Kaplan I'm not, though. I'm not. I just, like, take a pill for my fuckin' OCD, you know, and I jog and I meditate and I go to work in the morning and I, like, come home at the end of the day, and I, like, move forward, you know, because I know that my pain is unexceptional, so I don't feel the need to, like, I don't know, burden everybody with it, you know?

Mark Mark, Eloge: Yeah.

David Kaplan Yeah. God, I'm sorry.

James No, it's all - it's all right, David.

Diane It's okay.

David Kaplan I'm sorry, I'm ranting, I am just, like... I don't know. Um...

[he chokes up]

David Kaplan Ooh. Sorry, I'm just, like, so fucking exhausted by him sometimes, you know? Like, I... I, I love him and I hate him and I wanna kill him... and I wanna be him, you know? And I feel, like, so stupid around him, you know, because he is so fucking cool and he just does not give a shit. And then... just, like, being here with him is just so fucking baffling to me, you know? It's just baffling, 'cause it's like: How did this guy come from the survivors of this place, you know?

[he turns to Mark]

David Kaplan I mean, that your uncle had to sell, like, used furniture to rich assholes or, like, couldn't get into medical school.

[he turns to Eloge]

David Kaplan And that you survived, like, the worst thing to happen on this planet in the last thirty years. And that our grandma survived by a thousand miracles when the entire world was trying to kill her, you know? And I look at him and I just, like, wanna ask him... I just wanna ask him, and I just can't. Like... like, how did the product of a thousand fucking miracles overdose on a bottle of sleeping pills?

Marcia What?

Diane Sorry, what did you say?

David Kaplan Yeah, he tried to... yeah, sorry, I probably shouldn't have said anything.

James It's okay. Uh, I'm so - I'm sorry to hear that.

Eloge I'm so sorry. That's - that's very distressing.

Marcia When did this happen?

David Kaplan Like six - six months ago. My aunt Leah - uh, Benji's mom - found him on the couch. And I know he is so funny and so charming. And you are all gonna walk away with this picture of this amazing man, which he totally is in so many ways. But when I picture him, it is passed out on a ratty basement couch while I am in New York City with my beautiful wife and adorable child, and it just fucking kills me. Sorry. I'm... I'm oversharing.

[the sound of live piano emerges from the next room]

David Kaplan Well, they're back again.

Marcia It's him.

[the pianist is revealed to be Benji, playing Tea for Two]

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Benji Kaplan You used to be fucking different, man.

[David scoffs]

Benji Kaplan You used to be so emotional. You used to fucking cry about everything, man. Like...

David Kaplan Yeah, I know. It was awful. Who the fuck wants to cry about everything?

Benji Kaplan Dave, man, you're not fucking listening to me, man. I'm saying that *we* used to be different. Like, *we.*

David Kaplan Yeah. Benji, I have, like, a job and a family.

Benji Kaplan I know.

David Kaplan And I don't have time to hang out with you all night, every night, okay?

Benji Kaplan I don't fucking want that.

David Kaplan Yes, you do. You're, like, an all-encompassing person; I don't think you realize that.

Benji Kaplan Man, I'm just saying, like, you, like...

David Kaplan I don't think you realize that.

Benji Kaplan Man, you, like, literally never visit me.

David Kaplan What, in... sorry, you mean in Binghamton?

Benji Kaplan Yeah, man, that's where I live.

David Kaplan Well, yeah, I'm busy, okay? And I live in New York City. Isn't it easier for you to come down to me?

Benji Kaplan Easier? It's the same fucking distance, Dave.

David Kaplan Yeah, but it's New York City, man. It's, like, the more logical place to visit than fucking Binghamton, all due respect.

Benji Kaplan What's wrong with Binghamton?

David Kaplan Nothing is wrong with Binghamton. You are, like, purposefully making me look like an asshole for questioning it.

Benji Kaplan Yo, fuck off, dude.

David Kaplan Yo, you fuck off.

Benji Kaplan Why don't you give a shit about me anymore?

David Kaplan [choking up] I do give a shit about you. I just don't understand how you would ever do anything so fucking stupid to yourself.

Benji Kaplan Dave, man...

David Kaplan Benji. I, like... I walk around with, like, this terrible fucking image of you in my head...

Benji Kaplan Mm-hmm.

David Kaplan Okay? And, yeah, I don't... yeah, I don't wanna lose you, okay? You see how people love you? Do you see what happens when you walk into a room? I would give anything to know what that feels like, man. To know what it feels like to have charm. To light up a room when I walk in. But you light up a room and then you, like, shit on everything inside of it.

[Benji chuckles]

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Benji Kaplan You are, like, an awesome guy stuck inside the body of somebody who's always running late. And I gotta, like, fish that fuckin' guy outta ya every time I see ya.

David Kaplan Thank you, I think.

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[in Benji and David's hotel room]

Benji Kaplan How the fuck are we supposed to smoke a joint in here? They fuckin' locked the windows. It's like a goddamn police state.

David Kaplan Yo, man, I think I might just wanna crash. We've been up for like twenty-four hours.

Benji Kaplan Don't. Don't tell me you're gonna sleep on me. This is our first night together in fuckin' years.

David Kaplan I don't know. I'm exhausted, I haven't showered...

Benji Kaplan You're exhausted? Dude, the weed's gonna help you sleep.

David Kaplan Is it the kind that helps you sleep?

Benji Kaplan No, it's the other kind.

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Marcia If I hear from my kids once a month, it's a shock.

Benji Kaplan Oh, Marcia. Fuck those guys. Man, I wouldn't miss a week.

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[Benji is posing as a soldier for a photo among a group of statues of Polish World War II soldiers in combat]

David Kaplan That's really - you look great, Benji. We got some good shots.

Benji Kaplan Does it look real?

David Kaplan Well, uh, they're, they're twice the size of you and metal, so, you know, no.

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[Jewish cousins Benji and David are exploring Poland as part of a tour group]

Benji Kaplan Look at this shit. We'd probably live here if the war didn't happen. Isn't that fuckin' crazy to think about? Seriously! Like, we think of ourselves as these, like, very American creations, you know? And I guess that we are. I guess that's, like, the essence of America - people created from other cultures - but, like, in some parallel black hole universe, you and I are Polish and we probably got, like, long beards and we can't shake hands with women.

David Kaplan Yeah, that's funny. You know, every time I see, like, one of those Hasidic guys on the street, I always just think, like, "There but for the grace of no God go I," you know?

Benji Kaplan What?

David Kaplan Oh, nothing. It's just, like, a dumb joke that...

Benji Kaplan Mm. Well, that's cool, man. Shit, look at her.

David Kaplan Who?

Benji Kaplan That woman Marcia. She's walkin' alone - we should go talk to her.

David Kaplan We just met her.

Benji Kaplan Yeah, but she's got this, like, deep sadness behind her eyes, you know?

David Kaplan She does?

Benji Kaplan Yeah, you didn't notice that?

David Kaplan During the introductions? No. I...

Benji Kaplan I think we should check on her.

David Kaplan Benji, maybe she wants to be alone.

Benji Kaplan No one wants to be alone, Dave. Okay, I'm gonna check it out.

[Benji walks away from David and catches up to Marcia]

Benji Kaplan Hey. Why are you walking alone? Are you a big fuckin' loser?

[Marcia laughs]

Marcia Seriously?

Benji Kaplan Yeah. You look like an interesting person.

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[Benji and David enter their hotel room; David sighs]

Benji Kaplan Uh, hey, Dave?

David Kaplan Yep.

Benji Kaplan Come meet me in the bathroom for a second?

[Benji walks into the bathroom]

David Kaplan What? Why?

[David joins Benji in the bathroom]

David Kaplan Hi.

Benji Kaplan Hey.

[Benji closes the bathroom door]

David Kaplan So, uh, why are we in here?

Benji Kaplan So, I just wanted to say thank you so much for being here with me. I know that it's tough for you to take time off work and to leave your boy, but... I really needed this, man.

David Kaplan Really?

Benji Kaplan Yeah.

David Kaplan Well, that's... that's great, man. I'm, like, just happy to see you happy. I know it's been, like, such a tough few months for you, so...

Benji Kaplan I also want to say that I know you're not the most comfortable person with groups and people and social shit like that...

David Kaplan I'm not?

Benji Kaplan No. But it's amazing that you're here, putting yourself out there so boldly for me.

David Kaplan Thank you, man.

Benji Kaplan Let's go smoke a joint.

[Benji abruptly exits the bathroom]

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Benji Kaplan Dave?

David Kaplan Yo.

Benji Kaplan Sorry I called you a lightweight.

David Kaplan That's okay. I'm sorry I would always fall asleep.

Benji Kaplan Nah, man. You had, like, a job and a wife. You'd been awake all day doing important shit. I didn't really have anything going on. I didn't care that you fell asleep, man, I was just glad you were there.

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Eloge I... I find myself constantly baffled by the way the world seems to carry on like there aren't a million reasons to be shocked.

Marcia Oh, exactly.

Eloge To be, um... appalled.

Benji Kaplan Yeah. Fuckin' A. That's exactly what I'm saying, man.

David Kaplan I don't know. I mean, if, like, we wept for every sad thing in the world, like, what would that accomplish?

Benji Kaplan I don't know. Maybe sad shit wouldn't constantly happen.

Marcia Exactly.