The Coffee Table Movie Quotes
Vendedor
The glass is unbreakable, so your table will last forever.
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Carlos
I'm sorry, brother, but on the list of people María loves the most, you're only second. On the other hand, I think that on Cris's list, I'm first.
Cristina
No, no. Well, don't be so sure.
Carlos
Oh, no?
Cristina
No.
Carlos
Then I'm second?
Cristina
Let's see. The first one is my mother.
María
Of course.
Cristina
Then there are my four brothers, whom I adore and you know it. Then, my father. My grandmothers and grandfathers. Carmen and Montse, who have been my best friends since I was four years old. And I also love my uncle a lot, buuuut, but: You beat him. Barely.
María
Carlos, you're number thirteen. You don't even make it into the top ten.
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Carlos
Holy crap. A He-Man!
Cristina
What's a He-Man?
Carlos
A muscle-bound doll with Raffaella Carrá's hair, but one of the best dolls ever created.
Cristina
I was a fan of Monster High.
Carlos
I've seen that he wears a diaper. He wouldn't let me touch him, the bastard. Once, I broke Skeletor's legs by accident, and he stopped talking to me for 6 months.
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Vendedor
If you buy the table and treat it well, it will make you happy.
María
Treat a table well... Do you think it's a dog?
Vendedor
Objects should be treated like our loved ones. They need to be loved.
María
Jesús, this dude's crazy, and he's a liar, too.
Vendedor
I'm not lying to you. I almost never lie to my customers.
María
This unbreakable glass, is it bulletproof? Nothing is unbreakable.
Vendedor
A vase can be broken, a piece of furniture can be broken, a marriage can be broken. But, darling, I give you my word that this glass is UN. BREAK. A. BLE!
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Vendedor
It'll be your favourite table to have a coffee or an aperitif with your loved ones. And I guarantee that this table, due to its design and standard, will change your life for the better. It will fill your home with happiness.
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María
Are you sure you don't want a little bit of omelette?
Cristina
It just tastes awful to me, but vegans don't eat eggs.
Carlos
Don't eat...
Cristina
[Cristina interrupts Carlos]
Don't make the typical joke!
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Jesús
I couldn't even choose the name. She called him Cayetano.
María
It was my grandpa's name.
Jesús
It's a shoddy name for a fascist bullfighter.
Vendedor
My name's Cayetano, too.
Jesús
You're called Cayetano?
Vendedor
Like my dad, my grandpa, his dad, and many other generations.
Jesús
It suits you, not my son.
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María
It was the time of the Carlist Wars, after a hard battle. A general stopped at a house owned by a housewife in Navarra, and the general was very hungry, but the lady was poor and all she had were eggs, potatoes and onions. Bring me the little plate, darling. Thank you.
Cristina
Do you want water?
María
Oh, yes, please. Thank you. Well, he decided to, eh, make a mess with it all, and the general liked that mess so much, that he ended up popularizing that simple recipe, and fed thousands of soldiers. And that's where the Spanish omelette comes from.
Cristina
Whoa, you're so cultured, aren't you?
María
No way. But I read it on Wikipedia.
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