Kinoafisha

Russian

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Kinoafisha Films Holidate Holidate Movie Quotes

Holidate Movie Quotes

Jackson By the way, your tits look exceptional in that dress.

Sloane Thanks. That's why I bought it.

Jackson Oh, love the way it hugs your ass, too.

Sloane That's really sweet of you to notice.

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Jackson Bye, Felicia!

Felicity It's Felicity.

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Jackson Our hands touched.

Neil Holy shit. D'use protection?

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[first lines]

Sloane Fucking holidays.

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[Sloane sits at the kids dinner table to avoid annoying adult inquiries, yet...]

Daisy So, Aunt Sloane, why DIDN'T you call Rodney?

Sloane Why didn't YOU call Rodney?

Daisy Because I already have a boyfriend. His name is Levi, and he shares his juice box with me every day at recess.

Sloane Well, good for you, Daisy. You enjoy it while you can, 'cause one day you are gonna walk outside and you're gonna catch Levi sharing his juice box with a Starbucks barista named Rainbow. Yeah. Not a good day, Daisy. It hurts. It hardens you. And the next thing you know, you're just south of thirty sitting at the kids table numbing the pain with a vodka.

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Sloane When did Halloween go from dressing up like a princess to dressing up like a whore?

Abby Oh, I dunno, like, sixth grade?

Daisy What's a whore?

Abby Um, somebody who gets paid to play with boys.

Violet I wanna be a whore.

Daisy Me, too.

Abby Okay, but just remember that the house gets fifty per cent.

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Elaine Oh, well, I know the holidays can be stressful, but no man wants to marry a smoker... who lies.

Sloane Well, no man wants a bitchy mother-in-law, so I guess that's three strikes.

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Jackson [awaking from a night of drinking] So I guess we might have...

Sloane [also awaking from a night of drinking] No, we didn't.

[Sloane stands up]

Jackson You're wearing my underwear.

Sloane [looks down and gasps] Well, that doesn't... mean anything. I... probably got cold in the night... after my... panties fell... off.

[espies panties, grabs them, and ducks behind a tall-backed chair to change]

Jackson Ah, come on. You must be able to tell somehow.

Sloane Tell how?

Jackson I don't know. I don't have a vagina.

Sloane Well, there's no forensic evidence, nothing's dried on my leg. There's no... wrapper on the floor, if that's what you're wondering.

[throws his underwear at him]

Jackson Okay.

Sloane Can't YOU tell?

Jackson [takes a look at himself under the blanket] I mean, he looks a little tired, but... I don't think he's really satisfied.

Sloane I'm telling you we didn't do it. One of us would for sure be able to tell.

Jackson Sweet. Let's go with that.

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Jackson I-I don't do drugs.

Sloane And you call yourself a professional athlete?

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Elaine I want you to find someone who has real potential, not this holidate crap like your aunt.

Sloane She seems like she's having fun.

Elaine She's gonna die alone in a wheelchair and a diaper. Is that what you want?

Sloane Do I get a male nurse?

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Jackson Human beings aren't meant to be alone on the holidays. W-we actually need, you know, warmth, companionship, and someone to drunk-mock strangers with at parties.

Sloane I do enjoy drunk-mocking strangers at parties

Jackson Well, then, this is perfect. We can be each other's holidate for New Year's Eve.

Sloane [chuckles] I don't even know you.

Jackson Yeah, well, that's what makes it perfect. 'Cause there's no pressure. There's no expectations. I mean... I don't even think I find you that attractive.

Sloane Wow! Calm down with the flattery.

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Jackson You had me at Lester.

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Elaine She doesn't need another friend. She needs a husband, a partner, someone who is legally bound to be there during the chemo.

Sloane What chemo?

Elaine Oh, honey, don't kid yourself. You have bad genes - and bald women don't really get a lot of dates.

Jackson You have nothing to worry about, okay? Sloane is a great girl - even bald.

Elaine Then why aren't you sleeping with her?

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Sloane Nobody drops Baby on her head.

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Sloane So, Daisy, how are things with Levi the juice box king?

Daisy We broke up.

Sloane Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Daisy It's okay. He wasn't ready for a real relationship. I need someone who's gonna put ME first. Gotta go.

Sloane [to Jackson after Daisy's exit] Wow. She is in such great shape.

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Jackson Hey, if it's any consolation, I spent my holiday in an ugly Christmas sweater sipping mocktails with a room full of people who I think were in a cult.

Sloane I'll see your ugly Christmas sweater and raise you a seat at the kids table, my little brother getting engaged, and catching my aunt getting her cookie licked by a mall Santa.

Jackson That's a... festive visual.

Sloane Seared into my brain like a bad tattoo.

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Sloane Thank you.

Jackson Hmm.

Sloane I owe you.

Jackson That's better. Now, I'll take my hand job in the parking lot, thank you.

Sloane Oh, a hand job. What are you, like, twelve?

Jackson You gave hand jobs at twelve?

Sloane I developed early.

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Liz You can't watch porn on Valentine's Day!

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York Aunt Sloane, life if giving you a moment. Don't fuck it up.

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Sloane What is it about men and explosives?

Aunt Susan All about the cock.

Liz What do fireworks have to do with a man's... anatomy?

Aunt Susan It's like... jacking off. Men LIVE for the orgasm. If they're not fucking, they're dreamin' about fucking... or blowin' stuff up. Next best thing to fucking.

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Sloane [in an elevator with Jackson] Just rip it. Okay, just, just... You know? Just-just rip it. Just... just rip it. Just... just... RIP MY FUCKING PANTS OFF!

[doors open]

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Elaine This is what you wear to Christmas dinner? Don't you even own a dress?

Sloane I'm great, Mom. Thanks. House looks... beautiful.

Elaine Well, your Aunt Susan brought at-the-mall Santa home, and, uh, your nephew just pooped in the manger.

Abby Ugh, it was a tiny poo. I mean, he moved the baby Jesus first.

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