Jojo Rabbit Movie Quotes
Elsa Korr
You're not a Nazi, Jojo. You're a ten-year-old kid who likes dressing up in a funny uniform and wants to be part of a club.
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[Rosie and Jojo come upon six people hanging from a gallows in the town square]
Jojo Betzler
What did they do?
Rosie
What they could.
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Jojo Betzler
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Yorki
Yeah, I know, definitely not a good time to be a Nazi.
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Yorki
I am going home to my mother. I need a cuddle.
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Jojo Betzler
I said to draw where Jews live. This is just a stupid picture of my head.
Elsa Korr
Yeah, that's where we live.
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Adolf Hitler
Let them say whatever they want. People used to say a lot of nasty things about me. "Oh, this guy's a lunatic!" "Oh, look at that psycho! He's gonna get us all killed!"
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[kicks Adolph out the window]
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Jojo Betzler
What am I going to do?
Adolf Hitler
I have no idea.
Jojo Betzler
Jojo Betzler, Adolf Hitler: Got It!
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Jojo Betzler
How dare you, Jew? You are weak, like an eyelash. I am born of Aryan ancestry. My blood is the color of a pure red rose. And my eyes are blue.
Elsa Korr
[grabs Jojo]
Break free. Break free, great Aryan. There are no weak Jews. I am descended from those who wrestle angels and kill giants. We were chosen by God. You were chosen by a pathetic little man who can't even grow a full moustache. A stronger race, huh?
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Elsa Korr
I don't know anything about being a woman. Is that what it is? You do things like drink wine?
Rosie
Sure. You drink. Champagne if you're happy. Champagne, if you're sad. You drive a car. Gamble if you want. Own diamonds. Learn how to fire a gun. You travel to Morocco. Take up lovers. Make them suffer. You look a tiger in the eye. And trust without fear. That's what it is to be a woman.
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Jojo Betzler
I'm way too busy for a girlfriend.
Elsa Korr
One day you'll make time. You'll think of nothing else. You'll meet someone, and spend your days, dreaming of the moments you can hold them in your arms again. That's love.
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Rosie
You're growing up too fast. Ten-year-olds shouldn't be celebrating war and talking politics. You should be climbing trees and then falling out of those trees.
Jojo Betzler
But the Führer says when we win, it is us, young boys who will rule the world.
Rosie
Pfft! The Reich is dying. We're going to lose the war and then what are you going to do, hmm? Life is a gift. We must celebrate it. We have to dance to show God we are grateful to be alive.
Jojo Betzler
Well, I won't dance. Dancing is for people who don't have a job.
Rosie
Dancing is for people who are free. It's an escape from all this.
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Elsa Korr
Is it dangerous out there?
Jojo Betzler
Extremely.
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Jojo Betzler
I think you'll find that metal is the strongest thing on the earth followed by dynamite and then muscles.
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Jojo Betzler
What's going on out here?
Yorki
The Russians, Jojo. They're coming. And the Americans from the other way. And England and China and Africa and India. The whole world is coming. Help me with this ammo.
Jojo Betzler
And how are we doing?
Yorki
Terribly. Our only friends are the Japanese. And just between you and me, they don't look very Aryan.
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Jojo Betzler
But... you know... she's Jewish.
Yorki
There are bigger things to worry about than Jews, Jojo. There's Russians out there somewhere.
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Elsa Korr
Your mother took me in. She's kind. She treats me like a person.
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Deertz
[to Jojo]
You and your friends may have heard a rumor that Hitler only has one ball. This is nonsense. He has four.
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Yorki
There are bigger things to worry about than Jews, Jojo. There's Russians somewhere out there. They're worse than anyone. I heard they eat babies and have sex with dogs. I mean like that's bad, right?
Jojo
Sex with dogs?
Yorki
Yeah. The Englishmen do it too. We have to stop them before they eat us and screw all our dogs.
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Rosie
[Jojo has told her that he hears the ghost of his dead sister upstairs]
You've lost your mind. It's sadder for me though, because I have to live with a crazy person.
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Adolf Hitler
And it is up to you to decide if you want to be remembered, or disappear without a trace, like a pitiful grain of sand into a desert of insignificance. To put it plainly. Get your shit together and sort out your priorities.
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Fraulein Rahm
[Talking to Nazi boy soldier]
Okay. Come here. Okay. See that American there? Just go give him a hug.
[Activating grenade strapped to boy's belt]
Fraulein Rahm
Go! Run! Let's Go!
[Notices Yorki]
Fraulein Rahm
Oh, Yorki. Yorki, great news. You've just been promoted, and you get your own pistol. Just go and shoot anybody who looks different to us.
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Deertz
Now this is my kind of little boy's bedroom.
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Captain Klenzendorf
Today you boys will be involved in such activities as marching, bayonet drills, grenade throwing, trench digging, map reading, gas defense, camouflage, ambush techniques, war games, firing guns and blowing stuff up.
[boys cheer]
Captain Klenzendorf
The girls will practice important womanly duties such as dressing wounds, making beds and learning how to get pregnant.
Fraulein Rahm
I had eighteen babies for the Fuhrer. It's a great year to be a girl!
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Jojo Betzler
I look stupid. People will stare.
Rosie
Enjoy the attention, kid. Not everyone is lucky enough to look stupid. I, for one, am cursed to look incredibly attractive.
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[first lines]
Jojo Betzler
[Jojo puts on his uniform and looks at himself in the mirror]
Jojo Betzler, ten years old. Today, you join the ranks of the Jungvolk in a very special training weekend. It's going to be intense. Today, you become a man.
[pause]
Jojo Betzler
I swear to devote all my energies and my strength to the savior of our country, and of his now. I am willing and ready to give up my life for him. So help me, God.
[Hitler walks around Jojo]
Adolf Hitler
Yes, that's right. Now, Jojo Betzler, what is your mind?
Jojo Betzler
Snake mind.
Adolf Hitler
And Jojo Betzler, what is your body?
Jojo Betzler
Wolf body.
Adolf Hitler
Jojo Betzler, what is your courage?
Jojo Betzler
Panther courage.
Adolf Hitler
And Jojo Betzler, what is your soul?
Jojo Betzler
A German soul.
Adolf Hitler
Yeah, man. You're ready.
Jojo Betzler
Adolf?
Adolf Hitler
Hmm?
Jojo Betzler
I don't... I don't think I can do this.
Adolf Hitler
What? Of course you can. Sure, you're a little bit scrawny and a bit unpopular and you can't tie your shoelaces even though you're 10 years old, but you're still the bestest, most loyal little Nazi I've ever met. Not to mention the fact you're really good looking. So you're gonna get out there and you're gonna have a great time, okay?
Jojo Betzler
Okay.
Adolf Hitler
That's the spirit, okay.
[Adolf turns Jojo around]
Adolf Hitler
Heil me, man.
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler
Whaaat? You can heil me better than that.
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler
Just throw it away. Don't even think about it.
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler
No, you're overthinking it. Heil Hitler.
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitaler.
Adolf Hitler
Who's Hitaler? Do you even speak German?
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler.
Adolf Hitler
That's not a heil. This is a heil. Heil!
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler!
Adolf Hitler
Heil Hitler!
Jojo Betzler
Heil Hitler!
Adolf Hitler
Heil Hitler!
[Jojo continues to yell 'Heil Hitler!' several times]
Adolf Hitler
Ooh, that's it! You've got it! Heil Hitler! Have a great day! Heil Hitler! You can be the best! Heil Hitler! You can do it!
Jojo Betzler
Jojo Betzler, Adolf Hitler: Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler!
[they both scream until Jojo runs out the door]
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Jojo Betzler
If someone turned in a Jew, would they get a medal or something?
Captain Klenzendorf
Ah, Jews, Jews, Jews. Are you still going on about those people? You know I'm preparing the city for imminent invasion, right? I'm trying to plan a defense strategy.
[Indicates raisins on a map]
Captain Klenzendorf
I've got Americans to the west,
[indicates almonds on the map]
Captain Klenzendorf
got Russians to the east.
Fraulein Rahm
My friend once met some Russians, and they ate him.
Jojo Betzler
Who's the walnuts?
Captain Klenzendorf
Walnuts are just walnuts, kid.
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Adolf Hitler
You two seem to be getting on well!
Jojo Betzler
She doesn't seem like a bad person.
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Jojo Betzler
I'm the enemy?
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Captain Klenzendorf
Okay. If you see a Jew, you tell us, we tell the Gestapo, they tell the SS, and then they go out and they kill the Jew. And anyone who helped the Jew. And, because these are very paranoid times, probably some other people just in case. It's a pretty drawn-out process.
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Deertz
Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf
Heil Hitler!
Herr Junker
Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf
Heil Hitler!
Herr Mueller
Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf
Heil Hitler!
Herr Klum
Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf
Heil Hitler!
Herr Frosch
Heil Hitler!
Captain Klenzendorf
Heil Hitler.
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Adolf Hitler
[after Jojo gets book from shelf]
Yes. Great thinking, Rabbit. we'll use all of these books to make a fake floor that she'll fall through, straight into a pit full of piranhas, and, and lava and bacon. Why, she won't know what hit her.
Jojo Betzler
Shh!
Adolf Hitler
Shh?
Jojo Betzler
Shh!
Adolf Hitler
You, shush. Shush me? Let's get a book and let's go. Libraries are dumb.
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Yorki
I'm not sure we chose the right side.
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Captain Klenzendorf
As part of our preparations for the invasion, I'm redesigning my uniform. Note, the feathers for aerodynamics, the sparkly color to dazzle the enemy, the boots purely decorative.
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Adolf
Did you see how fast she moved?
Jojo
Yes.
Adolf
Like a little female Jewish Jesse Owens. And now she's got your fancy knife!
Jojo
Mmm, my knife!
Adolf
Yeah, like a little female Jewish Jesse Owens Jack the Ripper. You're definitely in a pickle, my friend.
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Jojo
Hey, Yorki. I caught a Jew. A real one.
Yorki
Oh a Jew? I saw some that they caught hiding in the forest last month. Personally, I didn't see what all the fuss was about. They weren't at all scary and seemed kind of normal.
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[Jojo has just run out of the fog, grabbed a grenade out of his hand, and had it blow up in his face]
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Captain Klenzendorf
Well, if it isn't Herr Handgrenade himself.
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Elsa Korr
In the beginning, we used to live in caves, deep, deep in the center of the Earth... Scary places full of strange and wonderful creatures all with one thing in common.
Jojo Betzler
Mm-hmm. Stealing the ends of penises?
Elsa Korr
No, you idiot. The love of art.
Jojo Betzler
No cutting penises off?
Elsa Korr
Do you want the story or not?
Jojo Betzler
You may continue, but I know it's true. The penis thing. Rabbis use them for earplugs.
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Deertz
We were just "Heil Hitlering" the boy, and then "Heil Hitlering" yourself, and then, of course, "Heil Hitlering" Freddy Finkel.
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Adolf Hitler
Sure, you're a little bit scrawny and a bit unpopular and you can't tie your shoelaces even though you're ten years old. But you're still the bestest, most loyal little Nazi I've ever met. Not to mention the fact you're really good-looking.
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Yorki
I thought I was your best friend.
Jojo Betzler
Yorki, you're my second-best friend. First place is reserved for the Führer. So, unless you're Hitler, hiding in a fat little boy's body, I'd be happy with second place.
Yorki
I guess I'm just a kid in a fat kid's body.
Jojo Betzler
Case closed.
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Rosie
You don't know him. He's a fanatic. It took him three weeks to get over the fact that his grandfather was not blond.
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Adolf Hitler
Let me give you some really good advice. Be the rabbit. The humble bunny can outwit all of his enemies. He's brave and sneaky and strong. Be the rabbit.
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Fraulein Rahm
It can happen. It happened to my uncle. A Jew hypnotized him, and he became a massive drunk, and a gambler, and he cheated on his wife, and he had an inappropriate relationship with my sister, and then he drowned in an unrelated accident. But it was the Jew's fault.
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Adolf Hitler
Now, listen, Jojo, can I give you some really good advice? When you see what's in her mind, and where she's trying to make you go in your mind. In your mind, you must go the other way. Get what I'm saying? Do not let her put you in a brain prison. That, dear Jojo, is one thing that cannot and must not ever, ever happen to a German! Do not let your German brain be bossed around!
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Jojo Betzler
Beethoven.
Elsa Korr
Einstein.
Jojo Betzler
Bach.
Elsa Korr
Gershwin.
Jojo Betzler
Brahms, Wagner, Mozart.
Elsa Korr
Musicians. Is that all you have?
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Jojo Betzler
Stop offering me, damn, cigarettes! I'm ten!
Adolf Hitler
All right, sorry, I'm stressed out!
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Adolf Hitler
And don't give her anymore knives!
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[Unseen by Jojo, Rosie moves to the fireplace and pulls some small pieces of printed paper from her pocket. She lights them and throws them into the hearth]
Adolf Hitler
Wait a minute. She's burning something. That's suspicious. What's she burning?
[to Rosie, shouting]
Adolf Hitler
What are you burning?
Jojo Betzler
She can't hear you.
Adolf Hitler
Oh.
[beat; screams]
Adolf Hitler
WHAT ARE YOU BURNING?
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Rosie
Jojo, you'll know when that happens. You'll feel it. It's a pain.
Jojo Betzler
In my arse, I bet.
Rosie
In your tummy. Like it's full of butterflies.
Jojo Betzler
Yuck.
Rosie
Yeah, yuck. Come on, Shitler, let's get a move on.
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Elsa Korr
Houdini.
Jojo Betzler
No, that's impossible!
Elsa Korr
Believe it brother. Just ask Pissaro, Modigliani, Man Ray, Gertrude Stein, Mr. Moses, and the King of them all: Jesus Christi, Amen.
Jojo Betzler
You're just saying any old name now. I've never heard of these people,
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[last lines]
Jojo Betzler
What do we do now?
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Fraulein Rahm
Now, get your things together, kids. It's time to burn some books.
[all cheer]
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Adolf Hitler
I am beginning to question your loyalty to myself and the party. You call yourself a patriot? Yet, where is the evidence? The German soldier was born out of necessity. Germany depends on the passion of these young men. Passion and readiness to fall for the Fatherland, despite the futile efforts of ally war profiteers, who send their ill-prepared armies, clumsily, into the lair of the wolf. And only zealous men, who stand steadfast in the face of the enemy will be etched in German memory forever. And it is up to you to decide if you want to be remembered, or disappear without a trace, like a pitiful grain of sand into a dessert of insignificance. To put it plainly. Get your shit together and sort out your priorities. You're 10, Jojo. Start acting like it.
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Fraulein Rahm
Anyway, did you see one? A Jew?
Jojo Betzler
I'm not sure I'd be able to tell if I did.
Captain Klenzendorf
Me neither. Without their funny hats it's damn near impossible.
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Jojo Betzler
So, I'd like you to draw a picture of where Jews live. Where you all eat, sleep, and where the Queen Jew lays the eggs.
Elsa Korr
You really are an idiot.
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Adolf Hitler
And now she's got two knives.
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Captain Klenzendorf
Can two-eyed people do this?
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Fraulein Rahm
I've had 18 kids for Germany. Such a great year to be a girl.
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Jojo Betzler
Mama? Field Marshall Jojo is home. Mama? Mama, I'm home. Mama? Mama?
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Elsa Korr
Perhaps we're all ghosts now, and we just don't know it.
Rosie
Perhaps. You've lived more lifetimes than most.
Elsa Korr
I haven't lived at all.
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Elsa Korr
He's coming to rescue me, and then we'll go live in Paris.
Jojo Betzler
You'd turn your back on Germany forever?
Elsa Korr
It turned on me first.
Jojo Betzler
Well, we don't need you. You and your stupid boyfriend can shut up and go live in dumb-cheese-snail-baguette land.
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Jojo Betzler
What's the first thing you'll do when you're free?
Elsa Korr
Dance.
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Adolf Hitler
Concentrate, Jojo. Remember, a Jew living in your wall is better than two Jews flying around with their bat wings, climbing down chimneys and eating innocent Nazis.
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Adolf Hitler
What are we gonna do about that Jew?
Jojo Betzler
You think of something.
Adolf Hitler
Oh, now I'm the expert?
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Fraulein Rahm
Once upon a time a Jewish man mated with a fish. The Aryans are 1000 times more civilized and advanced than any other race.
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Adolf Hitler
I'll let you in on a little secret. The rabbit is no coward. The humble little bunny faces the dangerous world every day, hunting carrots for his family, for his country. My empire would be full of all animals. Lions, giraffes, zebras, rhinoceroses, octopuses, Rhinoctopuses. Even the mighty rabbit.
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Captain Klenzendorf
When I was your age I had an imaginary friend, called Conny. He used to wet my bed when I was asleep. He got me in so much trouble.
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Jojo Betzler
Are you going to bed too?
Rosie
Yes, soon. I have to tidy some things first.
Jojo Betzler
What things?
Rosie
Mama things. Boy, you have to trust me, okay? I'm the boss here, yeah?
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Jojo Betzler
Jesus Christ!
Fraulein Rahm
You must stretch. Does that hurt you?
Jojo Betzler
Yes!
Fraulein Rahm
Good. Pain is your friend. Soon your leg will only be a little bit deformed and pointless.
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Captain Klenzendorf
Look after your family. Look after this knife.
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Captain Klenzendorf
So, a little about me. Who am I and why am I here, talking to a bunch of little titty-grabbers, instead of leading my men into battle to their glorious deaths. Great question. I've been asking myself every day since operation "Screw up".
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Adolf Hitler
She's pretty rude, you know. That's just my 2 pfennige.
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Adolf Hitler
Don't complicate things. Just use my backwards mind power trick, and everything will be fine.
[looks at his watch]
Adolf Hitler
Oh, I gotta go. We're having a unicorn for dinner at my place tonight.
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Elsa Korr
He proposed to me on the banks of the Floß. He knelt down like a proper gentleman, recited a poem by Rilke. And when I said yes we danced into the night.
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Yorki
I thought I was your best friend.
Jojo Betzler
Yorki, you're my second best friend. First place is reserved for the führer. So, unless you're Hitler hiding in a fat little boys body, I'd be happy with second place.
Yorki
I guess I'm just a kid in a fat kids body.
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Christoph
There is no room in Hitler's army for those that lack strength. We want hardened warriors. Those, that are prepared to kill at will. Can you do this?
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