Destination Wedding Movie Quotes
Lindsay
Don't you believe there is someone for everyone?
Frank
Close. I believe that there is nobody for anyone.
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Lindsay
You know, I'm not wearing anything under my pajamas.
Frank
Why would you? They're so alluring.
Lindsay
I didn't think I was going to be intimate this weekend... or any weekend.
Frank
Superman couldn't see through those pajamas. People have jousted in lighter clothing.
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Lindsay
Howard left your mother?
Frank
'Left' is not a strong enough word. Fled.
Lindsay
For an older woman?
Frank
He would have left for an otter. Anyway, leaving is leaving.
Lindsay
No, no. Leaving for a younger woman is awful, it's horrible. But leaving for an older woman is perverse.
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Frank
Why would anyone have my mother as their maid of honor?
Lindsay
I know, it's like having the Grim Reaper at your CAT scan.
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[while having sex in the wilderness]
Frank
On the off-chance that we are making a baby, do you want a boy or a girl?
Lindsay
You're asking me this now?
Frank
I'm killing time.
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Frank
I hope it's a big place.
Lindsay
It isn't.
Frank
If I see you at a restaurant I'll go to another restaurant.
Lindsay
I'm not gonna be in any restaurants.
Frank
Why? Are you checking into a mental institution?
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Frank
I do?
Lindsay
Oh, come on, Frank. Surely people have told you that your entire life.
Frank
No.
Lindsay
Well, it's very nice. It's straight, and you would not believe how epidemic a problem that is. Also it's balletically formed. It's not so big as to ever be cause for concern, but it's big enough never to be the object of ridicule or scorn. You're in a very sweet spot there.
Frank
Are you saying that Keith's penis is not straight?
Lindsay
Can you imagine that we would have gone this entire weekend without saying these things to each other?
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Frank
And how do you know the esteemed Keith?
Lindsay
I was engaged to him six years ago.
Frank
Oh, my God, you're Lindsay.
Lindsay
Why, how do you know him?
Frank
He and I have the same mother.
Lindsay
Holy shit, you're Frank? Ohh, you're even worse than he said.
Frank
You too.
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Frank
I consider it a triumph of the will that there aren't shallow graves dotting my back yard.
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Lindsay
Yeah, dense bones.
Frank
Really deceptive avoirdupois.
Lindsay
This is the slowest I've ever been carried.
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Frank
You're slender, but not to the point of a troubled relationship with food.
Lindsay
That's actual profiling right there.
Frank
File a grievance. And your curves are very sexy but not vulgar. Everything very much in proportion. Firm but not over-lean, which I've always found weird and prepossessing. Your arms bespeak physical fitness and athleticism but nothing sapphic. And your ankles quietly aver that you will keep your body well into later age.
Lindsay
It's despicable the way men look at women.
Frank
In short, you are beautiful, graceful and elegant. Also, you don't dress in an overtly sexy way. You seem to understand that dressing sexy is actually the opposite of being sexy. That certain information should have to be earned rather than given away free to anyone and everyone who passeth by your doorstep.
Lindsay
If this were 1732...
Frank
I'm giving you a compliment.
Lindsay
You're calling me a prude.
Frank
I'm suggesting that you've taken the high road. Even in this flagrant, flaunting day and age, you have chosen to preserve mystery. Yes, the pyjamas go too far, but I applaud the ethos.
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Frank
What brings you to San Luis Obispo?
Lindsay
You don't have to.
Frank
What?
Lindsay
Talk. Honestly, I'd be happier if you didn't.
Frank
Fine.
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Lindsay
So what do you do Frank, that is when you're not shining your light upon the world?
Frank
I run marketing for J. D. Power and Assoc.
Lindsay
The 'Car of the Year' people?
Frank
No, that's a magazine.
Lindsay
I bought one of your 'Cars of the Year'. It was a piece of crap.
Frank
Again, a magazine. Common error.
Lindsay
Is that the career you dreamed of? Handing out awards by the fistful?
Frank
Hugely successful company, extremely well respected.
Lindsay
It's corporate brownnosing on a national scale.
Frank
International. And don't sleep on awards. Our country lives on self-congratulation.
Lindsay
Let me ask you this. Has there ever been a car that wasn't a J.D. Power and Assoc. car of the year?
Frank
We don't do 'Car of the Year'. That's a magazine.
Lindsay
I've seen those Lucite trophies. They're on every car commercial for every car, ever.
Frank
What do you do anyway?
Lindsay
I prosecute companies and institutions for culturally insensitive actions or speech.
Frank
You're the politically correct police.
Lindsay
No.
Frank
You parse what people say and do, and then accuse them of being racist or misogynist or otherwise horrible. You destroy lives and reputations for money.
Frank
Is that what you dreamed of ? A career of reverse fascism?
Lindsay
I can't remember dreaming.
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Frank
There are seven billion people in the world. So when one of them behaves badly toward you, he's actually doing you a great favor because he's saving you time. He's telling you that he's not worth your while. He's freeing you to say, "Thank you for the information. I will now move on to the 6,999,999,999 other people, some of whom may have some value."
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Frank
Can we still hang together at the farewell brunch?
Lindsay
Who else am I going to hang with? Although I suppose I could hang myself.
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Lindsay
Don't you want to secretly have a romantic life that confirms your hopes instead of your cynicism?
Frank
No.
Lindsay
Don't you want to believe that things like this actually do happen?
Frank
Nope. I'm fond of my own cynicism. It's very comfortable.
Lindsay
Like a warm blanket of your own shit.
Frank
Yes. Yes. I'm very comfortable and warm in my fucking warm blanket of fucking shit.
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Lindsay
It's human nature to find pain in any situation however relatively fortunate.
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Frank
How about if I keep my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open to the possibility of keeping my mind open?
Lindsay
That is just one meta-level too removed.
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Frank
What happened between us was not a miracle. It was more like a debacle.
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Lindsay
You can't blame people for believing their own lives will be different.
Frank
Yes I can. It's incredibly egotistical. It might help you to consider the idea that heartbreak is pointless, because if you had wound up with the person, eventually you would have been miserable anyway.
Lindsay
Actually that does help. Thank you.
Frank
No problem.
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