Barely Lethal Movie Quotes
Megan Walsh
She better bring fire! She better bring thunder! She better bring hell! Just tell her to bring it before 10:30, I've got a curfew.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hardman
You're a Prescott. Prescotts don't cry! Why is she crying?
Leonard Steinman
Her struggle to find her own identity? The emotional turbulence of a first crush? Maybe she watched The Notebook one too many times! Adolescence is a very volatile time for a young woman!
Hardman
83! You are a rogue agent! This has got to end!
Megan Walsh
Oh, okay, okay, okay. Hold on now. You can't just take me. A missing girl in a... in a small town will throw up all kinds of red flags. Amber Alert, hello? I need to go back and tie up loose ends. At least just...
[shakes her head]
Megan Walsh
say my Grandma got sick or something.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
Stabbing people is fun. Are there going to be more people for me to stab?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Victoria Knox
Still playing dress-up with 007-year-olds?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
How did you find me?
Hardman
Same way I learned to tie a bow tie and slice a pineapple - YouTube.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hardman
Anyone talks, eventually.
Victoria Knox
I'm not just anyone.
[shakes her head]
Victoria Knox
Am I, Dumbledore?
Hardman
You could have played with the good guys.
Victoria Knox
Good guys? We destroy lives.
Hardman
Only the ones that need to be destroyed.
Victoria Knox
I'm not talking about the targets.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Lucy, the cheerleader
Hey, Megan! I'm Lucy. I'm so sorry about that behavior at assembly. Kids can be so cruel.
[shrugs]
Lucy, the cheerleader
Wanna join us?
[the three others in the group urge Megan to join them]
Megan Walsh
Wow! Sure, thanks, but... Pompons, huh? You're cheerleaders, aren't you?
Lucy, the cheerleader
[big smile] Oh, sure, absolutely!
Megan Walsh
[nods] I know what angle you're running.
Lucy, the cheerleader
Angle?
Megan Walsh
Oh, I've seen Mean Girls.
[nods]
Megan Walsh
Twice.
[nods]
Megan Walsh
You're gonna invite me to sit, and then weaken my defenses, and then embarrass me in some elaborate prank to assert your social dominance.
[nods]
Lucy, the cheerleader
[blankly] What?
Megan Walsh
Nice try.
[turns away]
Lucy, the cheerleader
[to the other three] I thought we were nice.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
Look, you may have all these people fooled, but you and I both know you are sketchier than a 2 AM waffle house.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[last lines]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hardman
One more time. Why did you run away?
Megan Walsh
You deprived me of my childhood. I couldn't just raise my hand and say "Excuse me, Sir, I don't think I really wanna be an assassin. Can I please be excused from this Secret Mountain Killing School?"
[offers handkerchief]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
[at night, drug's side effects]
But I'm fine, no, I'm okay. I mean, look at this, the sun is out, the clouds are shining.
[sighs]
Megan Walsh
You are Parker and you are Liz.
[exchanges glances with Liz]
Megan Walsh
You're scared of me.
Liz Larson
Hell, yes. I am!
[nods]
Megan Walsh
Not... not just me, though. I mean, you fear the world.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Mrs. Larson
[as the girls and their dates leave for Homecoming dance]
Remember, boys... Whatever you do to them, I'm gonna do to you.
[fake maniacal laughter]
Mrs. Larson
Not kidding!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
First Prescott, huh?
[smirks, shakes her head]
Megan Walsh
Never would have guessed.
Megan Walsh
Ha. Prescott probably just had lower standards then, yeah? Taking whatever losers they could get!
Victoria Knox
Wow.
[chuckles:]
Victoria Knox
Wow! This girl's got a mouth on her. If you wanted a fight, you could have just said so, little bitch!
[puts down pistol]
Victoria Knox
Get your ass up! On your feet!
[order doesn't get carried out]
Victoria Knox
Did I stutter?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
[voiceover, as helicopter takes off]
Adolescence is a dangerous time. It's a wonder any of us make it out alive.
[Roger's dad yells up at them]
Megan Walsh
In the end, Hardman was right. Attachments are dangerous. They make you care about something. But the people we care about are what make life worth living. And, hey, what's wrong with living dangerously?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
I am not riding the bus!
Megan Walsh
But it's a quintessential high school experience.
Liz Larson
So is mono.
Megan Walsh
What is mono?
Mrs. Larson
Kids get it from kissing. It's like mouth AIDS.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Heather
Come on, Cash, do you want to hang out or bang out?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Gooch
Sure, I'm no Vera Farmiga, but I think I have talent.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
Abandoning people is not... how you help them. Leaving is what hurts. Trust me.
Megan Walsh
There are vicious, self-absorbed sociopaths out to get me right now, Liz!
[shrugs]
Liz Larson
you survived high school, right? How bad can these guys be?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
You came back for me.
Hardman
Actually, we came back for Knox.
[relents:]
Hardman
Plus, the Sweet Sixteen needed some real combat experience.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hardman
[image of blonde woman on screen]
Meet Victoria Knox, American ex-pat turned arms dealer. If you're a terrorist, and you wanna kill some folk, this is the person you call. Don't let her good looks fool you. She has an IQ of one-forty. And she will use it to kill you. She was last seen in Corsica three years ago. Until she resurfaced eight hours ago, and will probably be gone in eight more. Unless we bring her in.
[sees Megan engrossed in file]
Hardman
Correction. Unless you catch her, Agent 83, and bring her in. Alive.
Heather
Wait! What?
Hardman
Simmer down! You're B team, 84!
Heather
B team? This should be my mission! I studied the case file! She's over there sniffing Ke$ha, the new fragrance by Ke$ha.
Hardman
I said "simmer..."
[grabs file from Megan, she's been surreptitiously reading teen glossy magazine]
Hardman
You need to get your head in the game, Agent 83! Because Victoria Knox... will take it off!
[to all gathered:]
Hardman
If we follow the profile, everyone will come home safely. And remember, we're not...
Megan Walsh
...in the rescue business.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
[while driving, still fretting over drawing made on her face]
It's like the pinnacle of high school humiliation.
Megan Walsh
It washed off. Sort of.
Liz Larson
[checks herself in rear-view mirror]
Oh, my God! And the photos! Instagram, like, owns them now!
Megan Walsh
Can you just focus on the positive for a minute?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Heather
[hunting Megan]
We always knew it would end up like this. Me with a knife. You with it in you...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
English Teacher
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both...
English Teacher
Megan. Care to join us?
Megan Walsh
Two paths in the woods. Probably an ambush.
Megan Walsh
I'd wait until nightfall when they're asleep and vulnerable, then advance inside a tree line, maybe rig a trip wire in case he's trying to double back.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Megan Walsh
[missing in action, so now free to do as she likes]
I couldn't believe it! Mission High School was a go!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Hardman
It's all about... putting holes in the subject.
Megan Walsh
See what I mean?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Mrs. Larson
[wiping off obscene scrawls from Liz's face]
This is ridiculous. I haven't even had coffee this morning. I wake up, and what do I find on you? Dicks on your face! What went on in your head? Did you decide it was okay to sleep in a stranger's house?
Liz Larson
You told me to go have fun!
Mrs. Larson
Fun? Fun! But you stumble in here at 6 AM with male genitalia drawn on your face!
Megan Walsh
I made sure she was safe.
Mrs. Larson
Excuse me?
Megan Walsh
She - she had a pillow...
Mrs. Larson
Yeah, what she should have had, was a ride home.
[shakes her head]
Mrs. Larson
You don't leave a friend on the couch because you wanna go have breakfast with some silly little boy band. We look out for each other in this family. Got it?
Mrs. Larson
Assholes! Ugh! They used a Sharpie! You can't go to church with that on your face!
[Liz smiles]
Mrs. Larson
Why don't you walk right up to the pastor and say "Hey, I've got a penis on my face!"
Liz Larson
I will.
Mrs. Larson
Oh, you will? Okay, great, let's go in search of Grandma!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
[criticizing Megan's first attempt at applying makeup]
You look like you've spent the night with Mr. Potato Head!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Liz Larson
Bullshit! Look, I'm sorry that this is not working out the way that you always imagined. But life... is messy. And it doesn't give a free pass to anyone. No matter how many different languages you speak or whether or not you can kill someone with a hula hoop.
[Megan sobs]
Liz Larson
Abandoning people is *not* how you help them. Leaving is what hurts. Trust me.
Megan Walsh
There are vicious, self-absorbed sociopaths out to get me right now, Liz!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[smiles]
Mrs. Larson
whatever you do to them, I will do to you. Ha-ha-ha! *Not kidding!*
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Heather
When I heard you died in the field, it was the worst day of my life.
[head-bangs Megan]
Heather
I so wanted to kill you myself!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[first lines]
Megan Walsh
[narrating] I never knew my parents. The only thing I ever knew was Prescott. It was a top-secret government-run school that turned little girls into killing machines.
Lab Tech
Not bad. Run it again.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
