Kinoafisha Films Safety Not Guaranteed Safety Not Guaranteed Movie Quotes

Safety Not Guaranteed Movie Quotes

[last lines]

Kenneth To go it alone, or to go with a partner. When you choose a partner, you have to have compromises and sacrifices, but it's the price you pay. Do I want to follow my every whim and desire as I make my way through time and space? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, do I need someone when I'm doubting myself and I'm insecure, and *my* heart's failing me? Do I need someone who, when the heat gets hot, has my back?

Darius So, do you?

Kenneth I do.

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[Darius approaches Kenneth, where he is stocking soup cans in the Grocery Outlet Bargain Market. She acts cool and nonchalant]

Darius Do you sell guns here?

Kenneth [surprised] What kind of guns?

Darius I don't know. Something sexy and affordable, with killing power?

Kenneth You should try C and R Guns in Wilkins. The state of Washington does not allow the sale of firearms in the business premises of a grocer.

Darius Hm. What about those... thingies? With the spiky ball on the end of a chain things, you know, and the...

[She pantomimes whirling a flail around above her head]

Darius You have those?

Kenneth What exactly is the intended use? Is there a pest problem, or hunting?

Darius [sternly] Well, if your ad had been written properly, I may have a better idea of what I need.

Kenneth My ad?

Darius Yeah. It's pretty sloppy.

Kenneth Excuse me?

Darius You heard me. I hope you worked harder on your calibrations.

Kenneth [looking around cautiously, but sounding stung] My calibrations are flippin' pinpoint, okay?

Darius Hm.

Kenneth [still looking around and behind him] There are people after me. How do I know you don't work for them?

Darius Because I've never worked for anybody in my life.

Kenneth You ever face certain death?

Darius If it was so certain, I wouldn't be here, would I?

[She takes a soup can from his hand and places it, without looking, unerringly in its spot on the shelf]

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Arnau Stormtroopers don't know anything about lasers or time-travel. They're blue-collar workers.

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[Arnau and Darius are scoping out the Post Office, waiting for the person who wrote the time-travel classified ad]

Arnau Wait. How about this one?

Darius Yeah, she wants to stop the person who gave her that haircut from being born.

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Darius What makes you think he won't slam the door in my face, too?

Jeff Because you gotta be sincere and charming. Okay? He's used to assholes like me coming and making fun.

Arnau Uh, also, probably none of the other people were beautiful girls.

Jeff [with a sideways look] Easy, Arnau.

Arnau What?

Jeff He's right. Use that too. There's something off about this guy, okay? So you gotta go slow, like you're trapping a skittish animal. Now, lure him. Play coy. Girls know how to do that shit.

Darius You're dangling my vagina out there like bait. What if this guy's a murderer? What if he cuts me up into little pieces and eats me?

Jeff Then the story's even better.

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Jeff It's all one long school year now. No start, no finish.

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Jeff [tailing the bad guys] This is fucking intense!

Darius We're going 15 miles per hour.

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Kenneth I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.

Darius Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.

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Darius [over-answering a job interview question] In high school I felt like that mouse that gets dropped in the snake cage and just sits there, frozen, trying to blend in. I guess I remember being happy when I was a kid. Back when you just naturally expect good things to happen. Before my mom died.

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Darius What time would you go back to? If you could.

Arnau I don't know. I'm fine here.

Darius I would definitely go back. Everything cool is gone. The Aztecs. People killing themselves for each other. You wouldn't want to see the dragons and the elves, fighting each other in the magical forests? Come on!

Arnau No.

[He puts his hand on her shoulder kindly]

Arnau That wasn't a time.

Darius [Rolls her eyes] Yeah. Right.

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Mr. Britt You're sad. I don't know how to describe it. It's like there's a cloud following you. You're antisocial, and you're a virgin.

Darius What?

Mr. Britt I don't ever see you with any guys. I don't remember the last time you brought a guy home.

Darius Yeah, well, how do you know I'm not on Craigslist, having casual encounters? Or when I was away at the dorms? You weren't there.

Mr. Britt I've talked to Amy.

Darius Why are you talking to my college roommate?

Mr. Britt We're Facebook friends.

Darius Oh, my God. How do I eject?

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Jeff You never done coke or anything, when you're studying for an exam?

Arnau Cocaine? Are you crazy?

Jeff What is it you study?

Arnau Biological and life sciences.

Jeff Makes sense. So what are you doing, interning at a magazine?

Arnau Diversity looks good on an application for grad school.

Jeff You know what, we gotta get you laid on this vacation. That's what's gotta happen.

Darius Vacation?

Jeff I mean, work trip. Whatever.

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Jeff Can I get a couple of interns? Help me with some research?

Darius I'll do it.

Arnau Me, too, please. Me.

Jeff All right, give me the lesbian and the Indian and I got a story!

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Kenneth While I would like to maneuver through this world with an open heart and mind, sometimes it doesn't gain you favor. So I just need to be equipped with the necessary skill sets, guns, training, weapons, fighting - in case I encounter any obstacles that need to be defeated.

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Kenneth Listen to me. You come to that launch site at 5:00... you take my hand, and I'll show you who can't time travel.

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[Still at the grocery store:]

Kenneth This is a bad place to talk. I get off in, like, fifteen. Rendezvous?

Darius [confident but still cool] See you in eight.

[She turns to walk away, but whirls suddenly to toss him a soup can he had not realized she had taken. Kenneth looks at it; she has written her phone number in strong black ink across a white space on the label. Kenneth's face is hard, but he is clearly impressed; he thinks he has found his partner]

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Jeff [after Kenneth steals some lasers] Fuckin' lasers?

Arnau What kind of lasers?

Darius I don't know, I'm not a freakin' storm trooper.

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Kenneth The mission has been updated. I'm going back for you now. All right. Do you trust me?

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[first lines]

Darius How far back do you want me to go?

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Darius [referring to Kenneth] What makes you think there's something wrong with him?

Jeff Because he thinks he can go back in time.

Darius Was there something wrong with Einstein or David Bowie?

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Belinda He wasn't the kind of guy you could easily fit into your life.

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[Darius joins Jeff and Arnau in the motel lounge bar, where Jeff has shown Arnau how to Facebook friend an old girlfriend of Jeff's]

Jeff Here she is. Look at you, you went all rogue. What did you get?

Darius Got his name, where he works.

Jeff Great.

Darius What did you guys get?

[Jeff points to the Facebook page]

Jeff She accepted, but, uh, no photos, so I'm not really sure.

Darius What?

Arnau He came here to hook up with an old high school girlfriend.

Darius [scornful] Seriously? That's what you've been doing?

Jeff Well, I've been doing other stuff, too, but.

[Jeff takes a sheet of photos out of his pocket, with bravado]

Jeff Maybe this will change your attitude a little bit. That's her. When she was 18, and I used to see her naked.

Darius So?

Jeff So I'm coming back to try to see her naked again.

Darius I'd be weirded out if some guy tried to track me down after 20 years.

Jeff I'd be weirded out, too, if some guy tried to track you down.

Darius Why?

Jeff Who would do that?

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Darius [Asks Jeff and Arnau to get out of the car with a bunch of POC around. Jeff doesn't agree] Are you guys racist?

Jeff It's complicated.

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Jeff [about old flame] I don't know, she's was big and, like...

Darius Hmm, like your age? Yeah, gross.

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Darius Why do you have flames on your laptop?

Arnau It's a gaming laptop. It's really fast.

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[Jeff approaches Kenneth's house. He clearly has not done enough research, and acts like a smiling, bobbing idiot]

Jeff Kenneth Calloway, right? Is that right? My name is Jeff.

[He extends a hand to shake, which Kenneth ignores. Jeff is grinning too much]

Jeff Look, I saw your ad in the, uh, Classifieds. I want to know if you need a partner.

Kenneth What's your mission?

Jeff What do you mean, what's my mission?

Kenneth What's your reason for going back?

[Jeff has changed from smiling maniacally to frowning]

Jeff Oh, well, who wouldn't want to go back? It's an amazing opportunity. To go back in time, you know? See gladiators, and watch dinosaurs with my own eyes. Have sex with a pilgrim? That's all I wanted. I want to go back. It's neat. Who wouldn't want to go back, Kenneth? YOU want to go back. Why do YOU want to go back? Well, do you need a partner?

Kenneth Can you look fear and danger in the eye?

Jeff That's an odd question.

Kenneth Have you ever stared fear and danger in the eye and said YES.

Jeff Sure.

Kenneth Get off my porch.

Jeff Let's start over. Come on, we can be pals. Let's go back in time.

Kenneth Man, that smile. What is that smile? You don't know pain, you don't know regret, you don't know...

Jeff [agreeing with everything and leaving with his arms raised] Okay. Well, look, it was really nice to meet you.

Kenneth [grimly] That's what I thought.

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[Jeff joins Darius and Arnau in the car after a badly-managed interview with Kenneth]

Jeff Huhh!

Darius So what'd he say?

Jeff Well, he's the real deal. That ad is no prank. He's not, like, retarded, but there's something wrong with this guy. Definitely didn't like my ass, I'll tell you that.

Arnau So, so what; that's it?

Jeff Oh, no. This just got good.

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Darius I have no funk. I'm totally funkless.

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