The Van Movie Quotes
Bobby
[after a take-out waitress praises his van] Hey, you wanna go share a joint on the waterbed?
Take-out waitress
Waterbed? Really? I just love waterbeds.
Bobby
It's right there in the back.
Take-out waitress
I really don't have time for a joint. But I got some time for a...
[signaling a humping motion]
Take-out waitress
quickie.
Bobby
Ah... yeah... sure.
[the take-out waitress steps out from behind the counter, making Bobby gasp upon noticing her very large buttocks on her otherwise thin body]
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Dugan Hicks
NOBODY calls Dugan a TURD!
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Bobby
[recalling how a nude take-out waitress with very large buttocks forced herself on him]
Yeah, what a piece of ass.
Jack
Yeah? How did she feel?
Bobby
Well, let's just say she was, ah... big. All over.
Jack
Yeah, sure.
Bobby
Really man, I never knew love making could be so, ahem... physical.
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Bobby
There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down...
[he barely finishes the line when the nude take-out waitress throws him on the waterbed and forces herself on him by mounting him with her very large buttocks]
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Dugan Hicks
Well, what are you, chickening out, or we gotta match?
Bobby
Yeah, I gotta match... your face and my ass.
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