Kinoafisha Films The Comedians The Comedians Movie Quotes

The Comedians Movie Quotes

Brown I don't believe in causes.

Dr. Magiot The role of cynic doesn't really suit you, Brown.

Brown I don't believe in play-acting either.

Dr. Magiot You imagine because you've lost one faith, you've lost all? You're wrong, Brown. There is always an alternative to the faith we lose.

Brown I have no faith in faith.

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Martha Pineda Does it hurt you mouth when we kiss?

Brown It's a good hurt.

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Major H. O. Jones If you can't be good, be careful !

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Major H. O. Jones Well, you can't let the stuff rust away. It's a crime to waste good weapons.

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Petit Pierre [to Brown] They are waiting for Major Jones. For some reason they believe that only white men are experts in killing.

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Dr. Magiot I'm worried about young Philipot. I had a message from him today.

Brown Does he share your faith?

Dr. Magiot He doesn't read Karl Marx, if that's what you mean. Rebels are not always communists, unless America insists.

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Dr. Magiot Papa Doc allows us to study the theory of communism. If there were no communists at all, what help would he get from the United States?

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Martha Pineda Manuel wanted me. I tried, but I couldn't. I cried because it wasn't you. It was an awful night, lying awake side by side, silent, like two bodies in a morgue.

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Martha Pineda Sometimes you fling yourself at me like a suicide onto the pavement. Why are you so desperate?

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Brown Zombies are cheap labor.

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Major H. O. Jones I've never had a woman in my life I haven't paid for or promised to pay.

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Major H. O. Jones I've always lied about women. I've lied about everything I wanted.

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Major H. O. Jones If I'm not up at the hotel too late, old man, don't lock me out. It means I'm taking tiffin with Colonel Biche.

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Major H. O. Jones Waste not, want not.

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Captain Concasseur First, undress.

Major H. O. Jones Undress?

Captain Concasseur Undress.

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Major H. O. Jones Well, mustn't keep the nobs waiting. See you at the hotel.

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Smith You know, this could be the beginning of our greatest achievement.

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Brown "I'm the Haitian flag. One and indivisible." Signed Papa Doc, father of his people. He lives for them and they die for him.

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Petit Pierre Tourists back in Haiti? That is news indeed.

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Brown Are we still blacked out every evening here in Port-au-Prince?

Petit Pierre You will find nothing has changed, Monsieur Brown, nothing. You have just time to reach your hotel before dark.

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Brown Did he - comfort you while I was away?

Martha Pineda I can be faithful for a few months, except in my - dreams.

Brown I was faithful, too. In my way.

Martha Pineda Don't tell me about your way. Just be quiet. Be here.

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Brown They've invented a new toothpaste in the States that tastes like a dry martini.

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Smith If we could eliminate acidity from the human body, we would eliminate passion.

Brown And stop the world?

Smith I was not speaking of love, Mr. Brown.

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Major H. O. Jones Can I have a fag? No filter tips?

Brown No, no.

Major H. O. Jones Never mind. I like to guard my health.

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Petit Pierre I will translate for you. Of course, it sounds more spiritual in French.

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Brown Now, that's your suite up there. When the lights are on, you can see the whole of Port-au-Prince.

Mrs. Smith Did John Barrymore really stay there?

Brown Well, it's before my time, but I can show you his liquor bills.

Smith A great talent ruined.

Brown Yes.

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Brown A friend of Mr. Smith's has been arrested. We'd like to know the reason. An Englishman called Jones.

César An Englishman? Now, now, that is something for the Minister of the Interior.

Brown Perhaps a word from Your Excellency...

César I cannot possibly interfere in another department. Mr. Smith, as a political leader, will understand that.

Smith You can find out the charge, I suppose?

César Charge?

Smith Charge.

César Ah, charge. There will not necessarily be a charge.

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Smith They call this thing a bed?

Major H. O. Jones Oh, I've dossed down in many worse places.

Brown Where, for instance?

Major H. O. Jones In Burma during the war. At least, there are no leeches here, no Japs creeping up on you.

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Mrs. Smith How did you hurt your hip, Joseph?

Joseph Captain Concasseur's driver ask me questions. When I not answer, he beat me with club.

Mrs. Smith But that's shocking. Did you report it?

Joseph Who to, ma'am?

Mrs. Smith But is there no law or order here?

Joseph Tontons make law. Tontons make order.

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Mrs. Smith I was worried about him once before in Mississippi. There was a white policeman there as wicked as any of your Tontons. I thought Mr. Smith would strike him and he doesn't believe in violence, only love. But love is awfully hard sometimes.

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Smith Then perhaps one day, we may even build a theater in the round for vegetarian drama.

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Brown You have a devil in you in the afternoons. When you're not with me, I wonder what the devil does.

Martha Pineda I wait. That's all.

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Mrs. Philipot People loved him, but one must not love in Haiti. Haiti means hate! Hate!

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Brown I thought you were a pacifist, Mr. Smith.

Smith I am. I was. I mean, we sometimes have ideals we can't always live up to.

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Ambassador Manuel Pineda When the President runs amuck, wise men stay at home.

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Captain Concasseur I had my orders.

Brown We hang men in Europe for obeying orders. A place called Nuremberg.

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Brown We are all of us exiles, Doctor, except you. Exiles from England, South America, Germany. What part of Germany did you come from, Mrs. Pineda?

Martha Pineda The only part I remember is Nuremberg.

Brown Remembered for its toys.

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Ambassador Manuel Pineda We were deeply shocked by what happened at your uncle's funeral. In fact, I tried to organize a protest from the Diplomatic Corps.

Henri Philipot Yes?

Ambassador Manuel Pineda Yes. They were very diplomatic.

Henri Philipot They were right. Words break no bones.

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Ambassador Manuel Pineda It's a horrifying world. I sometimes think that Haiti's no different from life - anywhere.

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Martha Pineda I think you should let your aunt and the boy come and stay here. At least, they'd be safe.

Henri Philipot My aunt doesn't enjoy safety as I do. She threatens to melt down the family silver to make bullets. She says, "Only silver bullets can kill a devil."

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Ambassador Manuel Pineda I'd like to know New York.

Brown Perhaps one of these days, you will be posted to Washington.

Ambassador Manuel Pineda No, I'll never be posted there. My wife's German, you know.

Brown Yes, I know, but the war's been over now for 20 years.

Ambassador Manuel Pineda Her father was executed as a war criminal in the American zone.

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Brown I thought you didn't like foreigners.

Captain Concasseur Oh, I'm offended by the color. Like a toad's belly. But we accept some of you, if you are useful to the state.

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Marie Therese I tell them I go faire pipi.

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Major H. O. Jones Oh, good-o. Now, what's your poison? Apparently, not much variety here. Rum and Coke, rum and 7UP, rum and water...

Brown No, thank you, Jones. I'm off.

Major H. O. Jones Not just one snifter for the road?

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Captain Concasseur The people are very ignorant. It is proper for them to fear the authorities.

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Brown Jones, what are you up to?

Major H. O. Jones Have you never had a dream that suddenly came true?

Brown No, never.

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Major H. O. Jones Why, bless my soul and buttons, if it isn't old Brown!

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Henri Philipot You missed something rather extraordinary. You see this cock?

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Brown You have a hope. You carry it everywhere, like a priest with a sacrament in his pocket.

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Brown Jones is as crooked as hell, Philipot.

Henri Philipot What do I care? I want his experience, not his honesty.

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Henri Philipot I have news from the north. Things are definitely moving there.

Dr. Magiot You're a novice, Henri. You don't know one end of a gun from the other. And what have we got in the north? Twelve untrained men with a few 1914 rifles.

Henri Philipot Castro had only twelve men.

Dr. Magiot You are not Castro - and he had twelve trained men.

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Ambassador Manuel Pineda Perhaps even Papa Doc is playing a part in those shabby black tails of his.

Henri Philipot Oh no, he's real enough. Horror is always real.

Ambassador Manuel Pineda We shouldn't be ashamed of being comedians. You know, it's an honorable profession. If only we were good ones, we could perhaps give the world a, I don't know, sense of style. After all, there are times when we all play a part, even in a good marriage.

[puts his arm around Martha]

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Brown He was a commando in Burma. Apparently won the war single-handed, like Errol Flynn.

Henri Philipot You don't believe him?

Brown Old soldiers are like fishermen. They tend to exaggerate a little.

Henri Philipot I'm a bit of a playactor myself. Who isn't in this place? We all play drawing-room comedies in the blackout.

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Martha Pineda You can't be jealous of the past.

Brown Oh, yes, I can. One day, I'll be the past. There'll be a difference. You'll hardly be able to say to the next man, "I was very happy in Haiti."

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Captain Concasseur You have a sense of humor. I'm in favor of jokes. They have a political value. A release for the cowardly and the impotent.

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Captain Concasseur What did Philipot tell you at the cockpit?

Brown That Baudelaire's his favorite poet.

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Brown I'm afraid of the Tontons. I'm afraid of torture and death like any sane man, but I'm not afraid of gods or of ghosts.

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Brown "In the watches of the night, as I lay abed, I searched for my heart's love, and I searched in vain." The Jesuits taught me that. ...

Martha Pineda The Jesuits?

Brown At school. It wasn't prescribed reading, but it is the Bible all the same. "That woman thou'st made my bride, my true love. What a woman thou hast made in this heart of mine, thighs well-shaped as the beads of a necklace, belly rounded like a heap of corn among leaves."

Martha Pineda I think you're a defrocked priest.

Brown My body knows no theology.

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Brown We did quarrel.

Martha Pineda It's over.

Brown Quarrels between us are always such damned ugly things.

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Brown I want to thank you very much, Concasseur. I always wanted to know the worst about myself, always wanted to feel the bottom of the gutter with my toes.

Captain Concasseur You agree?

Brown You're too simple to be a good tempter. You're nothing but a flatfoot, after all.

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Captain Concasseur She thinks I am jealous. Jealous of a putain. What absurdity.

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Brown In 10 years time, he won't need you at all. He'll be slinking off to Mere Catherine's, except you won't be here. You'll be in Luxembourg or Liechtenstein. But they probably have brothels there, too.

Martha Pineda Well, then I could come to you.

Brown No, a bit too late. You'll be middle-aged, and I'll be too old. Too old to care.

[aggressively kisses Martha]

Brown No real feelings, have you? I'm just the result of a seven-year itch. You've less feeling than one of the girls at Mere Catherine's.

Martha Pineda Why don't you go there, then? You used to often enough.

Brown All right, Frau Pineda. I will.

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Martha Pineda Haven't you ever made a promise you have to keep?

Brown No, never.

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Captain Concasseur For you, $2,000 American currency.

Brown Inflation everywhere. It used to be 30 pieces of silver.

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Martha Pineda Unfortunately, my husband's pajamas would be too big for you, and my son's, too small.

Major H. O. Jones To tell you the truth, Mrs. Pineda, I don't wear pajamas. Cuts down the laundry bills.

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Major H. O. Jones We've got to get cracking!

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Martha Pineda Darling, be careful. To you, nothing exists but in your thoughts. Not me, not Jones. You're trying to turn poor Jones into a seducer. But we do exist, independently. We can't always play the parts you've written for us.

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Major H. O. Jones What a thing it would be, wouldn't it? Yours truly riding into Port-au-Prince, seizing the palace, a provisional government, recognition by the powers, and then the job done, I'd slip quietly away. No fuss, like Lawrence of Arabia.

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Martha Pineda Don't tell me you're jealous of Angelito and Jones?

Brown I must confess that when I brought Jones to the house, I'd no idea he was gonna become such a friend of the family.

Martha Pineda Manuel likes him. Angelito likes him. He makes us laugh. He's interesting. He tells us of his days in Burma.

Brown Othello caught Desdemona with his tales of adventure. It's a very old technique.

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