Kinoafisha

Русский

Your tickets in your personal cabinet

Kinoafisha Films Space Jam Space Jam Movie Quotes

Space Jam Movie Quotes

Bill Murray It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?

Michael Jordan No. Larry's white, so what?

Bill Murray Larry's not white. Larry's clear.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.

Daffy Duck Your shorts? From college?

Michael Jordan I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.

Looney Tunes Eeewwww!

Michael Jordan Hey! I washed them after every game!

Sylvester Sure...

Michael Jordan I did!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck How's this for a new team name: The Ducks!

Bugs Bunny Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team The Ducks?

Daffy Duck So, sue me! It's just a suggestion.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck You think she's got enough toys?

Bugs Bunny Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?

Daffy Duck Yeah.

Bugs Bunny You ever see any money from all that stuff?

Daffy Duck Hah, not a cent!

Bugs Bunny Hmm... me neither.

Daffy Duck [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Just how did you get here, anyway?

Bill Murray Producer's a friend of mine. He sent a Teamster to drop me off.

Daffy Duck Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[Bill Murray enters the court as a substitution]

Mr. Swackhammer Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know Dan Aykroyd was in this picture!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan What's going on here?

Bugs Bunny Why Michael, l thought you'd never ask! You see, these aliens come from outer space, and they want to make us slaves in their theme park. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game. But then they show up and they ain't so little, they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause they're talking about slavery! They're gonna make us do stand-up comedy! The same jokes, every night, for all eternity! We're gonna be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, fat-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is... WE NEED YOUR HELP!

Michael Jordan Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now.

Bugs Bunny Right.

[Bugs gets out the rabbit skull]

Bugs Bunny And I'm a Shakespearean actor.

[Bugs throws the skull away]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Charles Barkley It was this girl, five-feet-nuthin'. Blocked my shot!

Psychiatrist When did you first start having this dream?

Charles Barkley It wasn't a dream, it really happened!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Charles Barkley [saying a prayer] I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash talk...

[later]

Charles Barkley I won't go out with Madonna again.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[Stan is digging up the golf hole that Michael got sucked down]

Golfer What are you doing?

Stan Podalak I'm uh, I'm fixing a divot.

Golfer Oh.

Golfer [shouting back to someone off camera] He's fixing a divot!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bill Murray Larry, I'm gonna give us both twos back there. We weren't in any emotional state to putt.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Stan Podalak C'mon, Michael! It's game time! Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we'll pick up a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Stan Podalak Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!

Michael Jordan What can you do?

Stan Podalak Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.

Sylvester And large.

Daffy Duck And a dork.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny You wanna play a little one on one, doll?

Lola Bunny [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?

Bugs Bunny [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.

Lola Bunny On the court, *Bugs*.

Bugs Bunny Sure.

Tweety Bird Ooo, she's hot.

[Tweety touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]

Lola Bunny [starts dribbling] Ready?

Bugs Bunny Yes.

[Lola gets past Bugs]

Bugs Bunny I got it, I got it!

[Lola spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]

Michael Jordan The girl's got skills.

Bugs Bunny [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?

Lola Bunny Don't ever call me "doll".

[Lola blows her ears out of her face]

Bugs Bunny Check.

Lola Bunny [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.

Michael Jordan Very smooth.

Bugs Bunny Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.

Michael Jordan Obviously.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[Larry Bird was sitting and watching the Bulls game, turns to Bill Murray]

Larry Bird What's the matter, Bill?

Bill Murray [after seeing Michael's fancy return to the NBA] Larry, that could have been me.

Larry Bird Would you get over it? It's over. It's done with. You can't play.

Bill Murray Okay.

Bill Murray [voice breaking with emotion] Let's go, Bulls!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan Look, I wanna help. But I haven't played basketball in a long time. My timing's off.

Bugs Bunny Eh, We'll fix your timing. Look at our facilities.

Daffy Duck [climbing on a basketball hoop] We've got hoops!

Elmer Fudd We've got weights!

Sylvester We've got balls!

[opens a locker full of balls]

Michael Jordan You sure do.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck But Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[after cleaning the gym]

Taz Lemony fresh.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Nerdluck Bang We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.

Nerdluck Nawt Yeah, Bugs Bunny.

Nerdluck Bang Have you seen him?

Nerdluck Blanko Is he around?

Bugs Bunny Hmmm... Bugs Bunny... Bugs Bunny... Say, don't he have, uh, great big long ears...

[Bugs pulls his ears]

Bugs Bunny like this?

Nerdlucks Yeah.

Bugs Bunny And does he hop around like this?

[Bugs hops around the forest]

Nerdlucks Uh-huh.

Bugs Bunny And does he say, "What's up, doc?" like this?

[Bugs chomps carrot]

Bugs Bunny Eh, what's up, doc?

Nerdlucks [chuckling and answering indistinctly] YEAH!

Bugs Bunny [leaves] Nope, never heard of him.

Nerdlucks Aw...

Bugs Bunny [to the audience] Y'know, maybe there is no intelligent life out there in the univoise after all.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Stan Podalak The mouse? He picked the mouse?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan [after winning the game] Thanks guys, you got a lot of... a lot of... well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Psychiatrist Are there any other areas, besides basketball, that you find yourself...

Barry White's voice Yeah?

Psychiatrist ...unable to perform?

Barry White's voice Yeah, yeah...

Patrick Ewing [irritated] No!

Psychiatrist I'm just asking.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Tweety Bird Ooh, I tawt I taw - I *did*, I did see Michael Jordan!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Foghorn Leghorn YEOW-OW! Did you order the Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?

[disintegrates]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Sylvester [after a few suggestions of what to challenge the Nerdlucks to] Suffering succotash! What's wrong with all of ya? I say... we get a ladder

[as you see a mental image of him on a ladder outside of a window where Tweety Bird is sitting in his cage]

Sylvester ... wait till the old lady gets out of the room... then grab that little bird!

[grabs Tweety Bird, then the scene transitions back to Sylvester holding on to one of his thumbs, hyperventilating]

Bugs Bunny Whoa, whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[One of the Monstars hurts Tweety]

Michael Jordan [to Tweety] Are you OK?

Monstar Blanko Yeah, are you OK?

[the other Monstars gets angry at Blanko]

Monstar Blanko Oops.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Female Seer [while the Nerdlucks are hiding in a trench coat at a basketball game] Sweetheart?

Male Fan What?

Female Seer Thought you were gonna get better seats this year.

Male Fan This is as good as I could get.

Female Seer This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.

Male Fan Honey, will you just let me watch the game? Barkley's killing us!

Nerdluck Bang Hey, someone's killing someone.

Nerdluck Blanko Nah... seriously?

Nerdluck Pound Wow, a killer? Let me see...

[Pound gets a closer look]

Nerdluck Nawt [Points to Charles Barkley as he's playing] There! That's him, the killer! He's big!

Nerdluck Blanko He's good.

Nerdluck Pound He's *mine*!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Mother!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[last lines]

Bugs Bunny Well, that's all, folks!

Porky Pig [stutters] That's my line.

[stammers]

Daffy Duck [pushes Porky Pig] Step aside, babe. Let us star do this. That's all--

[the Nerdlucks pushes Daffy out]

Nerdlucks THAT'S ALL FOLKS!

Michael Jordan [grabs the curtain] Can I go home now?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]

Stan Podalak Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?

Michael Jordan Yes.

Stan Podalak And you think this is good.

Michael Jordan Just take the picture!

Stan Podalak All right.

[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]

Bill Murray [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?

Stan Podalak It's just a...

Bill Murray [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?

Stan Podalak I didn't do anything! I just took...

Larry Bird Where'd he go?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bill Murray Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?

Daffy Duck Yes.

Bill Murray You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.

Lola Bunny Got it.

Bill Murray Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!

Michael Jordan Bill! We're on defense!

Bill Murray Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.

Michael Jordan Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.

Bill Murray Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan Someone has to go to my house and pick up my basketball gear.

Daffy Duck To your house? In 3-D land?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Shawn Bradley I've got other skills. I could go back and work on the farm. Or maybe... I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Tweety Bird [He flies through a hole that's just been shot in Sylvester] Holey puddy-tat!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Monstar Bupkus That's mine!

Bugs Bunny [stealing the ball] Not today.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Tweety Bird Feed me! Feed me!

Sylvester Feed you? Feed me!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan Let's do some drills.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Announcer Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, the Wonder from Down Under: the Tasmanian De-villlll!

[Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]

Announcer At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, the Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lo-la Bun-nyyyyy!

[Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]

Announcer At power forward, the Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!

Daffy Duck Thank you! Thank you!

[Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]

Daffy Duck [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!

Announcer And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the Toon Squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bun-ny!

Bugs Bunny Thank you! Thank you!

Announcer And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, His Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Woman Fan This guy next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan Bugs?

Bugs Bunny Yeah, Mike?

Michael Jordan Stay out of trouble.

[he leaves]

Bugs Bunny [to Lola] You know I will.

[Lola laughs and Bugs grabbing her arms]

Bugs Bunny Come here!

[gives her a long kiss, she howls and then quickly changes to the next scene by pulling it down over them like a window shade]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Mr. Swackhammer [after berating them for losing to the Looney Tunes] Alright, the party's over! Get in the spaceship!

Michael Jordan [to the Monstars] Why are you taking from this guy?

Monstar Bupkus Because he's bigger!

Monstar Pound He's bigger?

Monstar Bang Then, we *used* to be...

Mr. Swackhammer [the Monstars realize they are now bigger than Swackhammer and look at him menacingly] What are you doing?

[They seize him and stuff him on a rocket and blasts it off into space to crash onto the Moon]

Michael Jordan Had it in you all the time, didn't ya?

[the Monstars look embarrassed for a moment]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Player That was a strikeout, Mike. But that was a good-looking strikeout. Real good.

Player I mean, you look good when you strike out, man. When I strike out, it looks nasty, man. But at least you look good, man.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[first lines]

James Jordan Michael? What are you doin', son? It's after midnight.

Michael Jordan at 10 I couldn't sleep, Paps.

James Jordan Well, neither can we, with all that noise you're making. C'mon, let's go inside.

Michael Jordan at 10 Just one more shot?

James Jordan All right, just one.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Oh, fear clutches my breast!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Monstar Pound You ever heard of the Dream Team? Well, we're the Mean Team, wussy man!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Tweety Bird Those Monstars'd wished they'd been never born!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Larry Johnson I've been MRI'd, EKG'd, X-Rayed, Laser beamed...

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny These little pipsqueaks just turned into superstars!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck [On the court opposite of Monstar Bupkus as he's about to pass it to Monstar Pound with a football helmet on] It's gut-check time!

[His legs quickly jerk back and forth with the sound of a gun cocking, then once it's passed to Monstar Pound, he charges headfirst into his gut, making him drop the ball and it bounces towards Bill Murray]

Bill Murray This must be mine!

[Picks it up and heads up court as Monstar Nawt goes in front of him]

Bill Murray This belongs to me. I'm going left! I'm going left! I'm going left!

[Quickly passes the ball to the right where Michael Jordan catches it]

Bill Murray Don't ever trust an Earthling!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny Yeah, sure, let the little pipsqueaks knock themselves out.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny Okay, okay, which one of you maroons has ever played basketball?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Mr. Swackhammer [trying to think of a good attraction] Okay, we need something... We need something... Nutty!

Nerdluck Nawt Nutty!

Mr. Swackhammer We need something wacky!

[accidentally sits on a television remote and it turns on]

Nerdluck Nawt Wacky!

Mr. Swackhammer We need something, something, something, something... We need something...

Nerdluck Bupkus [distracted by the TV] Looney? Oops!

Nerdluck Nawt Looney, thank you.

Mr. Swackhammer Looney?

[turns to the television and sees Looney Tunes cartoons]

Daffy Duck on TV I'm an elk! Shoot me!

Mr. Swackhammer [got his idea] Yes! Looney, yes! Now, you're talking.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Stan Podalak [after all of his attempts to dig to find Michael have failed] This is it! THIS IS IT! I don't know where you are, Michael! But wherever you are, you obviously enjoy bein' there more than spendin' time with me!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Larry Johnson [after a while trying to find out why they suddenly can't play basketball after their talent was unknown to them, stolen by the Nerdlucks] Y'know, maybe there is nothin' wrong with us, maybe it's just in our heads.

Muggsy Bogues Yeah, we're all right. It's just some psychosomatic deal, or something to do with the alignment of the Moon or another planet.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Michael Jordan You guys are nuts!

Porky Pig Correction! We're Looney Tunes.

Daffy Duck And as such exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros. Inc!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

[the Monstars arrive at the gym]

Monstar Bupkus I'm here!

Monstar Blanko Me too.

[he hits his head on a backboard, then puts his hands over most of his face]

Monstar Blanko That hurt!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Jeffrey Jordan Did everyone get mad at you?

Michael Jordan No, worse. Everyone was real nice about it.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Lola Bunny [Bugs has just been squashed after pushing Lola out of the way] Are you okay?

Bugs Bunny Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?

Lola Bunny Oh Bugs, thank you.

Bugs Bunny Aww, it was nothin'.

Lola Bunny That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

[she gives him a long kiss, then leaves]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bill Murray It is alive!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Muggsy Bogues What are you saying? That I'm trying to disobey my mama?

Psychiatrist I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.

Muggsy Bogues But I love my mama.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck [after Stan enters the Toon Squad dressing room burned to a crisp by the Monstars] Looks like Stan just had a close encounter with a bug zapper.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck l have, coach. And there's an important question l must ask you.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny Not real? lf l weren't real, could l do this?

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Let the doctor take a look. A little high. Going down!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck So, what do you say we go for a little spin? Let's see what we got inside here.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

James Jordan Now that's a real fine school, a real fine school. You can get a first class education there.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Porky Pig [screams then looks down] I wet myself.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Mr. Swackhammer [after the Monstars have lost] Losers!

Monstars Sorry.

Mr. Swackhammer Choke artists!

Monstars Sorry again.

Mr. Swackhammer Wait'll I get you back on Moron Mountain!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny [after Michael is pulled into the Toon World through the golf hole] Oh, uh, look out for that foist step, doc; it's a real lulu.

Michael Jordan [surprised] Bugs Bunny?

Bugs Bunny Eh, you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny?

Michael Jordan [disbelievingly] You're a cartoon; you're not real.

Bugs Bunny Not real, eh? If I weren't real, could I do this?

[He gives Michael a big kiss on the mouth. A disgusted Michael wipes his lips]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Daffy Duck Mess? You're worried about a little mess? There's nothing here a little spit shine wouldn't fix. SPIT SHINE!

Sylvester SPIT SHIINE!

[All of the toons start spitting]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Bugs Bunny [DVD Commentary] This is rated G for gross!

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Nerdluck Bupkus That was so much fun.

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱

Female Seer I see aliens. Little aliens from outer space. They forced their way inside your bodies. They need your talent to win a basketball game against Bugs Bunny.

Patrick Ewing Bugs Bunny?

Female Seer I also see Michael Jordan being sucked down in a golf hole by furry creatures.

Patrick Ewing That's it, we're out of here.

Larry Johnson We're leaving now.

Shawn Bradley Let's try some acupuncture.

Muggsy Bogues Good idea. Bye.

[the NBA players are leaving the place]

🧡

👏

🥺

🤔

🥱