Malice in Wonderland Movie Quotes
Bag Lady
What has no conditions but one condition?
Alice
Love.
Bag Lady
[smiles]
Ain't it just? What's your name?
Alice
My name is Alice.
Bag Lady
*My* girl was called Alice.
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Whitey
What do I get a man who can rob anything?
Whitey
What do I get a man who can rob anything?
Alice
What about a cake?
Whitey
Nice one, Britney.
Whitey
Nice one, Britney.
Alice
That's not my name.
Whitey
You don't know who you are, so you don't know who you're not.
Whitey
You don't know who you are, so you don't know who you're not.
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Gonzo
Girls are trouble. Women are double.
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Alice
He sounds... fascinating.
Whitey
I've heard Harry called a lot of F-words. Fascinating's a new one.
Whitey
I've heard Harry called a lot of F-words. Fascinating's a new one.
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[last lines]
Felix Chester
Circles. Circles. We all move in circles.
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Caterpillar
What you lookin' for?
Alice
Uh, a pick-me-up...?
Caterpillar
Fine, 3, 5 and 2, 6 and 1. Lucky eyes here now. Before delivery is done.
Alice
What? Mister...?
Caterpillar
Drop the Mister. See this eye? I'm no pillar, I'm a cat. Postman chiller is where I'm at.
[snickers]
[Alice gets pulled into the car]
Alice
What are you doing?
Caterpillar
Saving your arse from the SPG. Them mothers will lock you down and throw away the key.
Alice
But I... I haven't done anything.
Caterpillar
Tell it to the judge. The sentence is life and they don't budge. My hooker, she's a looker. Hit me scratch and I even let you.
Hooker
Policemen here is not to be trusted. Step out of line and, pow!
Caterpillar
You is busted.
[Snickers]
Hooker
Where to, babe?
Alice
London, a cabby said he'd take me, but then he disappeared. He didn't seem honest... and he isn't... as I feared.
Caterpillar
Infected with the rhyme, check it out now down town.
[skids car sideways]
Hooker
Next stop, Lloyd Street number 31, two first-class for a John named John.
Alice
It seems a little late to deliver the post.
Caterpillar
Au contraire, now is when folks need it most.
Hooker
Baby, you got e-mail.
Alice
Oh.
[takes phone]
Alice
You sell drugs?
Hooker
Ain't a lie.
Caterpillar
Ain't a pill on the planet I don't know and you can't buy.
Alice
Uh, well... these don't seem to be working and I need to get my memory back from where it is lurking.
Caterpillar
'For your head'? Bitch! That's a heavy pop!
Hooker
You better see a doc before you open up the top.
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Alice
But I've already taken one. Or have I taken two? I can't remember old stuff, and now I can't remember new.
Caterpillar
[opens windows to stop cops with smoke]
[Snickers]
Hooker
Think yourself smart. I wish it was me. Take for your head and be who you wanna be.
Alice
But how can I be who I wanna be when I am who I am?
Caterpillar
When memories come back, some you keep and some you trash in the can.
Hooker
You've been dealt the cards, just rearrange the deal.
Caterpillar
We pick you up one, we drop you down two.
Alice
If I get to the party, my driver's inside...
Caterpillar
No access to the party without an invitation.
Alice
Where can I get one?
Caterpillar
I know *just* the location.
[Snickers]
Caterpillar
[Car pulls up to a house]
Alice
Wow! Cool!
[Alice gets out of the car]
Hooker
Bump the Duchess when you meet her inside.
Caterpillar
Ciao from the hydroponic Bonnie and Clyde.
[Winks]
Caterpillar
[Peels away]
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Whitey
[as she steps from his taxi]
Here's a twenty. Should get you to London.
Whitey
[as she steps from his taxi]
Here's a twenty. Should get you to London.
Whitey
Hmm.
Whitey
Hmm.
Alice
When's the next bus?
Whitey
I'll be honest with you, darling, I ain't got a clue.
Whitey
I'll be honest with you, darling, I ain't got a clue.
Whitey
Just having one last butcher's in case I have to bang one out later. Now, I'm being a gentleman, not taking advantage, okay?
Whitey
Just having one last butcher's in case I have to bang one out later. Now, I'm being a gentleman, not taking advantage, okay?
[she's offended, turns away]
Whitey
I'll bet I'm gonna regret this.
Whitey
I'll bet I'm gonna regret this.
[pulls away]
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Gonzo
[towards carousel]
Step into my office.
Alice
I'm not sure if I should.
Gonzo
Then you're not sure if you shouldn't.
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Whitey
[bought her a meal]
The Imperial. Stuffed with chicken, shish, doner, some other dead thing - only 9,000 points on Weight Watchers.
Whitey
[bought her a meal]
The Imperial. Stuffed with chicken, shish, doner, some other dead thing - only 9,000 points on Weight Watchers.
Alice
Mm. Never tasted anything like it.
Whitey
Half a goat in there, easy. Now. Order of the day. What do I get a man... who can rob everything?
Whitey
Half a goat in there, easy. Now. Order of the day. What do I get a man... who can rob everything?
Alice
Well... what's he into?
Whitey
Banks, security vehicles, blokes...
Whitey
Banks, security vehicles, blokes...
Alice
Does he like... art?
Whitey
Round here art is getting the spelling right on your tattoo.
Whitey
Round here art is getting the spelling right on your tattoo.
Alice
What about a cake?
Whitey
Who buys a mob boss a cake?
Whitey
Who buys a mob boss a cake?
Alice
Someone who cares.
Whitey
Yeah, that's what I thought. Nice one, Britney.
Whitey
Yeah, that's what I thought. Nice one, Britney.
Alice
That's not my name.
Whitey
You don't know who you are. So you don't know who you're not.
Whitey
You don't know who you are. So you don't know who you're not.
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Whitey
[to roadside workers as he tracks the missing heiress]
You've seen a girl, twenty, blonde, fit?
Whitey
[to roadside workers as he tracks the missing heiress]
You've seen a girl, twenty, blonde, fit?
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Doochey
Well, what are you doing at my desk?
Alice
I'm trying to get to the party.
Doochey
Ah, yes, I've been invited, but I shan't go.
Alice
Why not?
Doochey
I like my head where it is. On my shoulders. The invitation is yours, in exchange for one thing. Knowledge.
Alice
Of what?
[shakes her head]
Doochey
You.
Alice
But... Look, I don't know anything about me.
[shakes her head]
Doochey
Oh, you make my gossip nose twitch like... freshly-peppered soup!
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Whitey
[odd taxi driver]
Trust me. I'm a doctor. I give prescriptions. People tell me what they need... and I nick it.
Whitey
[odd taxi driver]
Trust me. I'm a doctor. I give prescriptions. People tell me what they need... and I nick it.
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Whitey
Just taking my last butcher's in case I have to bang one out later. Now, I'm being a gentleman. Not taking advantage, okay? But I'll regret this!
Whitey
Just taking my last butcher's in case I have to bang one out later. Now, I'm being a gentleman. Not taking advantage, okay? But I'll regret this!
[drives off]
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Alice
What if he can't come up with that kind of money?
Harry Hunt
Max comes out of retirement.
Alice
And what if I don't want to go home?
Harry Hunt
Then this will be your *leaving party.* Leaving
[grabs her wrist so hard, she yelps]
Harry Hunt
this mortal coil.
[onlookers laugh]
Alice
Well, if this is to be my last night, I would want it to be a better one than any other.
[whispers:]
Alice
I don't get out very often.
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Alice
You're a slave to time.
Whitey
I'm a slave to nothing!
Whitey
I'm a slave to nothing!
Alice
You wear two watches. They're your shackles.
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Harry Hunt
Insanity is not a plea, it's a way of life!
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