The Expendables Movie Quotes
Trench
Oh, like I said. I'm busy anyway, so give this job to my friend here. He loves playing in the jungle. Right?
Barney Ross
Sure. When?
Trench
In a thousand years?
Barney Ross
Too soon.
[Trench walks off]
Barney Ross
He wants to be president.
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Sandra
What are your names?
Sandra
Follow me, please.
[walks away]
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Tool
[to Ross]
You remember that time we was up in Bosnia? We took down them Serb bad boys? All our guys were gettin' chopped up all around us and there was blood everywhere. I never though I was gonna make it out of there and I know you didn't and you didn't either. Kinda feelin' like... dead too, ya know? My heads all very, very black place. Didn't believe in shit. Just goddamn Dracula black. I remember I got this bottle of this local shit they have over there. That slivovitz... I think that's what it was called. And I ain't feelin' no pain now... and I come up on this, uh... I come up on this overland bridge, and I see this... I see this... I see this woman standing there, ya know? And she's, uh... I stepped out and she saw me, and she's just lookin' right... right in my eyes. And I was lookin' right in her eyes, and I knew what she was gonna do. She looked at me, and I knew she was gonna jump. You know what I did, man? I just turned around I kept walkin'... until I heard that splash and she was gone. After... after taking all them lives, she was one that I could have saved, but I didn't, and... what I realized later on was if I'd have saved that woman, I might have saved what was left of my soul, ya know?
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[first lines]
Barney Ross
We are the shadows and the smoke, we rise. We are the ghosts that hide in the night.
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Paine
Who sent you?
Barney Ross
Your hairdresser.
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[last lines]
Lee Christmas
I'm gonna do you a favor, Tool. "I once knew a man called Tool/To me, was the epitome of cool/He was good with a knife/Bad with a wife/But to think he could beat me/Dreaming he'd defeat me/Cool Tool/You gotta be a fool."
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Lee Christmas
[after beating up Lacy's abusive boyfriend and his friends on a basketball court; and after deflating a basketball with a knife on his chest]
Next time, I'll deflate all your balls, friend.
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Barney Ross
I got a feeling everyone else passed on this job, so our fee is $5 mil.
Mr. Church
$5 mil?
Barney Ross
And I want half upfront, and the other half in an offshore account. You got a problem with that?
Mr. Church
No. What I have a problem with is people who try to fuck me over. So if you take this money and you don't deliver, or you try to fuck me in some kind of weird cockamamie scheme of yours, me and my people are gonna come get you and your people and chop you up into little fucking dog treats. You got a problem with that?
Barney Ross
Let's talk.
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Hale Caesar
Great, they got a small army. What have we got?
[looks at Yin Yang]
Hale Caesar
Four and a half men.
[Everyone but Yin Yang laughs]
Yin Yang
Not so funny.
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Hale Caesar
[after taking out a number of soldiers while his team is behind cover]
Remember this shit at Christmas!
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Barney Ross
[from trailer]
[in the middle of a mexican standoff, a faint buzzing sound can be heard]
Barney Ross
What's that?
Lee Christmas
I'm getting a text.
Barney Ross
Excuse me?
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Lee Christmas
Are you crazy? You could've killed me!
Barney Ross
You're welcome.
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Barney Ross
What the hell's he doing?
Lee Christmas
Hanging a pirate.
Barney Ross
Don't be ridiculous. Gunner! What are you doing?
Gunnar Jensen
Hanging a pirate!
Toll Road
That's seriously demented.
Yin Yang
This is no good.
Hale Caesar
Not that you'd feel it, but put one in Speed Racer's shoulder.
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Lee Christmas
You know it's not easy being your friend.
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Lee Christmas
What's he saying?
Hale Caesar
He said we're dead with an accent.
Barney Ross
We ain't dead.
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Gunnar Jensen
Warning shot!
Barney Ross
No!
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Yin Yang
It's difficult.
Barney Ross
What?
Yin Yang
My life is difficult. I need more money.
Barney Ross
Why that?
Yin Yang
I work harder than the rest.
Barney Ross
No, you don't.
Yin Yang
Yes, I do! Everything is harder for me. When I'm hurt, wound is bigger, 'cause I'm smaller. When I travel I need to go farther.
Barney Ross
I know, because you're smaller, right?
Yin Yang
Yes.
[pause]
Yin Yang
I need more money.
Barney Ross
I know, you told me.
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Hale Caesar
[holding his AA-12 shotgun]
You know, the enemy's always been terrified of noise, especially shotguns. With this big boy spitting out 250 rounds a minute, you tell me who's tolerating that. Absolutely zero.
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James Munroe
And being wealthy is very good. It allows people to be the real asswipes nature intended them to be.
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Barney Ross
Come on. Why don't you man up? Jesus! She wasn't your type.
Lee Christmas
Why don't you keep saying "She wasn't my type?" So I could put a bullet in your bleak brain! Look who I'm taking to. Dracula's life coach. No wonder you're alone.
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Tool
I promised myself, I'm gonna die for something that counts.
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Barney Ross
[Hale Caesar has just emptied a full drum magazine of his AA-12 shotgun; to Caesar]
Damn, that thing's loud!
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Hale Caesar
What happened to you?
Barney Ross
I got my ass kicked.
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Paine
Look at me, you piece of trash! How many men you got?
Barney Ross
Just your mother!
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Yin Yang
Why me?
Barney Ross
Because you're smaller!
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Yin Yang
I need a raise.
Barney Ross
Say what?
Yin Yang
I want it for my son.
Lee Christmas
Since when did Yin Yang get a family?
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James Munroe
First of all, I don't feel comfortable talking business with a giant carrying a shotgun.
The Brit
Pretty boy wouldn't give it up.
Gunnar Jensen
Not if you wanna know where they are.
James Munroe
What do you know?
Gunnar Jensen
I used to be one of them.
James Munroe
Why are you turning on them?
Gunnar Jensen
Lover's quarrel.
James Munroe
We settled on 50.
Gunnar Jensen
No, math whiz. We settle on 100 grand upfront, in my pocket!
Paine
The guy thinks he's a real badass.
Gunnar Jensen
Actually, I'm a horror show.
The Brit
This geezer's a bloody joke.
Gunnar Jensen
Life's a joke, SHITFACE!
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Yin Yang
It's too sad to talk about.
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Trench
Have you been sick? You've lost weight.
Barney Ross
Whatever I've lost you've found, pal.
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James Munroe
[Holding Sandra hostage]
The agency parasites hired you, didn't they? I'd have paid you twice as much to go fishing! You'd have to think I'm pretty freaking stupid to surrender to the agency! Why would I do that? I created this! I made it all happen and they wanted me out! Why? Because I saw the big picture!
[Ross approaches him]
James Munroe
Stop walking!
[Holds the gun to Sandra's head. Ross stops]
James Munroe
And what about me and you? We're both the same! We're both mercenaries! We're both dead inside! So why the hell did you come after me?
Barney Ross
I didn't come after you, dipshit! I came for HER!
[Sandra escapes from Munroe. Ross shoots Munroe as Christmas throws Gunnar Jensen's knife straight through Munroe's chest, killing him]
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Barney Ross
You were gonna kill him.
Gunnar Jensen
I was only trying to scare him.
Barney Ross
Don't put that on me, you never really liked him.
Barney Ross
Shot three inches above the heart.
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Lee Christmas
Ten seconds you won't believe what's gonna happen.
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Hale Caesar
[Discussing his weapon with Toll Road]
You know what? I trust you. I want you to meet my girlfriend.
[Pulls out an improvised shotgun shell]
Hale Caesar
Omya Kaboom.
[shows Toll Road a miniature warhead]
Hale Caesar
When Omya's prime is struck, she gets off a miniature warhead that arms itself. And when that happens, anything that gets in my lady's way becomes instant red sauce and Jell-O. And if that doesn't work...
[leans over and pulls out a straight razor]
Hale Caesar
...her sister will.
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Gunnar Jensen
Bury me right. And I want a Viking funeral.
Barney Ross
You mean where they put you in a boat and set you on fire, Viking?
Gunnar Jensen
That's right!
Barney Ross
You're night a Viking.
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Tool
Yeah, I can smell him from here.
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Pirate leader
I'll kill them all! I don't care.
Hale Caesar
There are more fools in this world than people. So back off, cuz.
Pirate leader
You back off! Huh?
Hale Caesar
You know, you're gonna be dead anyway. So I'm gonna shut up.
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Mr. Church
Only thing you need to know is the job's real, and the money's real.
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Barney Ross
What's wrong with this picture?
Lee Christmas
Everything.
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Yin Yang
[after getting cornered by Garza's men; referring to Barney's ring]
Your lucky ring stinks.
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Tool
[to Lee]
I got a great idea. Why don't you let me doodle, like, a Charlotte's web on your head? On the top of your head. You know, something different, something exciting. 'Cause you got one of them perfectly shaped domed, muscular heads. I could put a web on the top of the head. Maybe a pregnant Charlotte coming out of your ear, peeking around, making sure them bugs don't come inside. Her long legs dangling down your neck. Yeah. Sexy, right?
Barney Ross
Very sexy. He looks thrilled.
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[in Extended Director's Cut]
James Munroe
Unlike people like her father, you, the Agency, you see life through a freaking keyhole because you let emotions cloud your judgment! Emotions are the cancer of the intellect!
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Barney Ross
You look nervous.
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James Munroe
How did two obvious professionals pass right through security personnel, kill 41 soldiers and get away? With help, that's how. Everything's under control, except one detail, a daughter who wants her father and company dead and gone. Bad Shakespeare. Somehow the company parasites got to her. Look, she's your daughter, and that's tragic. But blood or not, she's goes. Call it the price of doing business.
General Garza
You don't kill your familia.
James Munroe
Come around my house during the holidays, pal.
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Barney Ross
Gunner, last chance. Let him go or we're letting you go.
Gunnar Jensen
It's good to hang pirates. Old Viking custom.
Barney Ross
It isn't an old Viking custom at all.
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[after crushing a man's head under his foot]
Gunnar Jensen
Insect!
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General Garza
We will kill this American disease!
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Gunnar Jensen
Hey, nice bird!
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Gunnar Jensen
[Threatening The Brit]
If you don't want that Fu Manchu knocked back into the 60's, you'd better keep your gum-chewing trap shut and show some respect!
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The Brit
You know, if you didn't have this Kevlar vest, your insides are gonna be like fucking mush.
Barney Ross
Well, ain't that sad?
The Brit
You know, you're a lucky man.
Barney Ross
You're the lucky man.
The Brit
No, no, you're a lucky man. He told me to keep you conscious.
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Lee Christmas
[to Lacy, after beating up her abusive boyfriend and his friends on the basketball court]
Now you know what I do for a living.
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