The Dark Knight Movie Quotes
Harvey Dent
[while having a fancy dinner with Bruce, Rachel and Natascha]
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
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The Joker
It's simple. We, uh, kill the Batman.
[mobsters laugh]
Salvatore Maroni
If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already?
The Joker
If you're good at something, never do it for free.
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The Joker
[giggling]
I don't, I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me.
Batman
You're garbage who kills for money.
The Joker
Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve.
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Bruce Wayne
[while in the underground bat cave]
Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred Pennyworth
You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them to the point of desperation. And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand.
Bruce Wayne
Criminals aren't complicated, Alfred. Just have to figure out what he's after.
Alfred Pennyworth
With respect Master Wayne, perhaps this is a man that *you* don't fully understand, either. A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So, we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anybody who traded with him. One day, I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away.
Bruce Wayne
So why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth
Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.
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[Batman slams The Joker's head on the table]
The Joker
Never start with the head. The victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next...
[Batman punches the Joker's hand. The Joker pauses for a moment waiting for it to hurt]
The Joker
See?
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Gambol's Bodyguard
Yo, Gambol, there's somebody here for you. They say they just killed the Joker.
Gambol's Bodyguard
They brought the body.
[a body bag is brought in and dropped on the table; Gambol unzips it, revealing Joker's face]
Gambol
So. For dead, that's 500...
[Joker's men hold the bodyguards]
The Joker
You wanna know how I got these scars? My father, was a drinker, and a fiend. And one night, he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. He turns to me and says, "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife. "WHY SO SERIOUS?" He sticks the blade in my mouth... "Let's put a smile on that face." And...
[glancing at thug]
The Joker
Why so serious?
[kills Gambol]
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The Joker
You know. I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and, uh...
Harvey Dent
Rachel!
The Joker
Rachel were being abducted. I was sitting in Gordon's cage. Now, *I* didn't rig those charges.
Harvey Dent
Your men. Your plan.
The Joker
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just... *do* things.
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The Joker
[to Det. Stephens in the interrogation room]
Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
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The Joker
I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!
[Joker hands Two-Face a gun and points it at himself]
The Joker
Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair!
[still holding the gun, Two-Face pauses and takes out his coin]
The Joker
Mm-hmm.
The Joker
Mmm, now we're talking.
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Batman
Sometimes the truth isn't good enough, sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith rewarded...
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The Joker
[while hanging upside down]
Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Batman
You'll be in a padded cell forever.
The Joker
Maybe we can share one. You know, they'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.
Batman
This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good.
The Joker
Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and all the heroic things he's done. You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fistfight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey.
Batman
What did you do?
The Joker
I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!
[the Joker laughs hysterically as Batman races off and the cops come to take the Joker into custody]
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The Joker
[in a warehouse next to a mountain of money]
All you care about is money. This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I'm gonna give it to them!
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Alfred Pennyworth
[as they leave the underground bat cave]
I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice...
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Gambol
[to The Joker during a private sit down meeting with the gangsters]
Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off.
The Joker
How about a magic trick?
[pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table]
The Joker
I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.
[Gambol's thug walks over to kill The Joker, who slams his face into the pencil and kills him]
The Joker
Ta-daa! It's... it's gone.
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Harvey Dent
[during a press conference]
The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.
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The Joker
[during the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent]
You know, I'll settle for his loved ones.
Gentleman at Party
We're not intimidated by thugs!
[the Joker pulls out his switchblade and brings it to the Gentleman's mouth]
The Joker
I hated my father!
[turns to face Rachel, tosses the Gentleman to his thugs and approaches Rachel, adjusting his hair with the knife]
The Joker
Well, hello, beautiful. You must be Harvey's squeeze. And you *are* beautiful.
[he walks around her]
The Joker
Oh, you look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em?
[He grabs Rachel's head and positions the knife by her mouth]
The Joker
Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife. She was beautiful, like you. Who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks. One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again. I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this...
[the Joker mimics slicing his mouth open with his tongue]
The Joker
...to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!
[Rachel knees the Joker in the groin; he merely laughs it off]
The Joker
A little fight in you. I like that.
[attacks him]
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Lucius Fox
[to Reese]
Let me get this straight, you think that your client, one of the wealthiest and most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante, who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands, and your plan is to blackmail this person?
[Reese's face falls and Fox smiles]
Lucius Fox
Good luck.
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The Joker
Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me. They need you right now. But when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper. See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people? They'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
The Joker
You have all these rules and you think they'll save you!
Batman
I have one rule.
The Joker
Oh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
The Joker
The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.
[mimicking Batman's voice]
The Joker
And tonight you're gonna break your one rule.
Batman
I'm considering it.
The Joker
Oh, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you wanna save one of them.
The Joker
You know for awhile there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her.
[Joker laughs, Batman throws Joker on table, barricades door]
The Joker
Look at you go! Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?
The Joker
Killing is making a choice.
The Joker
Choose between one life or the other. Your friend, the district attorney, or his blushing bride-to-be...
[punches Joker]
The Joker
[laughs]
You have nothing, nothing to threaten me with! Nothing to do with all your strength!
[grabs Joker]
The Joker
Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you where they are. Both of them. And that's the point. You'll have to choose. He's at 250 52ND Street and she's on Avenue X, at Cicero.
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Batman
[in the back of a factory at 250 52nd Street]
What happened to Rachel wasn't chance. We decided to act! We three!
Two-Face
Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?
Batman
It wasn't.
Two-Face
The Joker chose ME!
Batman
Because you were the best of us! He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall.
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The Joker
[in the interrogation room]
I want... my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call!
Detective Stephens
That's nice.
The Joker
How many of your friends have I killed?
Detective Stephens
I'm a twenty-year man. I can tell the difference between punks who need a little lesson in manners, and the freaks like you who just enjoy it.
[pause]
Detective Stephens
And you've killed six of my friends.
The Joker
[mouths "six?"]
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[last lines in the back of a factory]
James Gordon Jr.
Why's he running, Dad?
Lt. James Gordon
Because we have to chase him.
James Gordon Jr.
He didn't do anything wrong.
Lt. James Gordon
Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.
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Two-Face
[in the back of a factory at 250 52nd Street]
You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.
[holds up his coin]
Two-Face
Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair.
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The Joker
[stumbles out of wrecked truck, playing chicken with Batman]
Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. Hit me!
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The Chechen
[in a warehouse next to a mountain of money]
Joker-man, what you do with all your money?
The Joker
You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline!
[he pours gasoline on the mountain of cash]
The Joker
Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta. And you know the thing they have in common? They're cheap.
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Gambol
[During a private sit down meeting with the gangsters]
You think you can steal from us and just walk away?
The Joker
Yeah.
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[bumps along while driving a hijacked semi truck]
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Batman
[while being pinned down on the platform next to the ledge of a building that's still under construction]
There won't *be* any fireworks!
The Joker
And here... we... go!
[Silence. Nothing happens. Confused, Joker turns to look at the clock, which shows that it's past midnight and neither ferry has blown the other up]
Batman
[triumphantly]
What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone's as ugly as you? You're alone!
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Bruce Wayne
[while in the underground bat cave]
People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do?
Alfred Pennyworth
Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice.
Bruce Wayne
Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so."
Alfred Pennyworth
Today, I don't want to.
[pauses for several moments]
Alfred Pennyworth
But I did bloody tell you.
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[the Joker has rigged two ferries to explode, one filled with prison inmates, one with ordinary people, giving each ferry one detonator and telling them they have to blow up the other, or he'll blow up both. A prisoner approaches the warden, who's holding the detonator]
Tattooed Prisoner
You don't want to die, but you don't know how to take a life. Give it to me; these men would kill you, and take it anyway. Give it to me. You can tell 'em I took it by force. Give it to me, and I'll do what you shoulda did ten minutes ago.
[Scared, the warden hands over the detonator. The prisoner looks at it, then throws it out the window]
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The Joker
Of course not.
Lt. James Gordon
What have you done with him?
The Joker
Me? I was right here.
[holds up his arms in handcuffs]
The Joker
Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming, of course, they are still *your* people, and not Maroni's. Does it depress you, commissioner? To know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?
Lt. James Gordon
Where is he?
The Joker
What's the time?
Lt. James Gordon
What difference does that make?
The Joker
Well, depending on the time, he may be in one spot, or several.
Lt. James Gordon
If we're gonna play games...
[takes off Joker's handcuffs]
Lt. James Gordon
I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
The Joker
Ah, the good cop, bad cop routine?
Lt. James Gordon
Not exactly.
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Alfred Pennyworth
Will you be wanting the Batpod, sir?
Bruce Wayne
In the middle of the day, Alfred? Not very subtle.
Alfred Pennyworth
The Lamborghini, then.
[with deadpan sarcasm]
Alfred Pennyworth
Much more subtle.
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Harvey Dent
Alfred, right?
Harvey Dent
Yeah, Rachel talks about you all the time. You've known her, her whole life!
Alfred Pennyworth
Oh, not yet, sir.
Harvey Dent
Heh heh heh. Any psychotic ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?
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Grumpy
That's a lot of money. If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have had us bring a bigger car.
[promptly draws his gun and points it a Bozo]
Grumpy
I'm bettin' the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo
[looks at his watch, checking it. He sighs] No, no no no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy
[as Bozo moves a few paces to one side] Bus driver? What bus driver?
[a yellow school bus reverses through the bank's doors and knocks Grumpy down. The driver jumps out]
Bus Driver
School's out! Time to go!
[laughs]
Bus Driver
Cat's not gettin' up, is he?
[loading duffels]
Bus Driver
That's a lot of money. What happened to the rest of the guys?
[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]
Gotham National Bank Manager
Think you're smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he'll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
Bozo
[putting a gas grenade in the banker's mouth] I believe, whatever doesn't kill you, simply makes you...
[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]
The Joker
...stranger.
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The Joker
[over the PA]
Tonight you're all gonna be part of a social experiment. Through the magic of diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate, I'm ready right now to blow you all sky high. Anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die. Each of you has a remote... to blow up the other boat. At midnight, I blow you all up. If, however, one of you presses the button, I'll let that boat live. So, who's it going to be: Harvey Dent's most wanted scumbag collection, or the sweet and innocent civilians? You choose... oh, and you might want to decide quickly, because the people on the other boat might not be so noble.
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The Joker
[after a news segment]
I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital.
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The Joker
It's a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars?
Batman
[while being pinned down on the platform next to the ledge of a building that's still under construction]
No! But I know how you got these!
[fires gauntlet blades into Joker's face]
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Harvey Dent
[during the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent]
The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachel's told me everything about you.
Bruce Wayne
I certainly hope not.
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Brian
No.
The Joker
No? Then why do you dress like him?
Brian
He's a symbol... that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
The Joker
Yeah, you do, Brian. You *really* do!
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The Joker
[upon entering the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent while his henchmen follow behind him]
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
[nobody responds; The Joker walks around the room pointing with his shotgun at everyone]
The Joker
You know where Harvey is? You know who he is?
[grabs a man's face]
The Joker
You know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something. Just something, a little.
[turns the man's face away]
The Joker
No...
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James Gordon Jr.
Did Batman save you, Daddy?
Lt. James Gordon
Actually, this time I saved him.
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Two-Face
Can't hurt your chances.
Salvatore Maroni
It was Ramirez.
[Two-Face pulls the coin out and cocks his gun]
Two-Face
I said it couldn't hurt your chances.
[flips coin; good side]
Two-Face
You're a lucky man.
[flips again; bad side]
Two-Face
He's not.
Salvatore Maroni
Who?
[He shoots the driver in the back; the car goes flying off the road]
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Salvatore Maroni
I don't know where he is, he found us!
Batman
He must have friends!
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Salvatore Maroni
[Batman holds him out over a ledge]
From one professional to another: if you're trying to scare somebody, pick a better spot. From this height, the fall wouldn't kill me.
Batman
I'm counting on it.
[he drops Maroni off the ledge, who screams as he falls to the ground and breaks his legs]
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Bruce Wayne
Batman has no limits.
Alfred Pennyworth
Well, you do, sir.
Bruce Wayne
Well, can't afford to know 'em.
Alfred Pennyworth
And what happens on the day that you find out?
Bruce Wayne
Well, we all know how much you love to say "I told you so."
Alfred Pennyworth
On that day, Master Wayne, even I won't want to. Probably.
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Batman
Because sometimes the truth isn't good enough.
[insert cut: Alfred burns the envelope from Rachel]
Batman
Sometimes, people deserve more.
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Brian
Brian... Douglas.
The Joker
Are you the real Batman?
Brian
No.
The Joker
No?
Brian
No.
The Joker
No? Then why do you dress up like him?
[grabs Brian's mask and dangles it in front of the camera]
The Joker
whooo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Brian
Because he's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
The Joker
Oh you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah. Oh shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. So, you think Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hmm? Look at me. LOOK AT ME!
[turns camera to himself]
The Joker
You see? This is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die. Starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[laughs]
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Alfred Pennyworth
Huh?
Bruce Wayne
It was a big dog!
[pause]
Bruce Wayne
More copycats last night, Alfred, with guns.
Alfred Pennyworth
Why don't you hire them and take the weekend off?
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Two-Face
You thought we could be decent men, in an indecent time! But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased, unprejudiced... fair. His son's got the same chance she had. Fifty-fifty.
Batman
What happened to Rachel wasn't chance. We decided to act. We three.
Two-Face
Then why was it me who was the only one who lost everything?
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Bruce Wayne
[standing next to the storage drawers in the Applied Sciences division at Wayne Enterprises]
What about getting back into the plane?
Lucius Fox
I'd recommend a good travel agent.
Bruce Wayne
Without it landing.
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Lt. James Gordon
[after Bruce saves Reese by blocking a truck with his car]
It's mister Wayne, isn't it? That was a very brave thing you did!
Bruce Wayne
Trying to catch the light?
Lt. James Gordon
You weren't protecting the van?
Bruce Wayne
Why, who's in it?
[Reese steps out, sees Bruce, who nods slightly]
Bruce Wayne
Do you think I should go to the hospital?
Lt. James Gordon
You don't watch a whole lot of news, do you, Mr. Wayne?
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Bruce Wayne
[standing next to the storage drawers in the applied sciences division at Wayne Enterprises]
How will it hold up against dogs?
Lucius Fox
We talking Rottweilers or Chihuahuas? Should do fine against cats.
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Rachel Dawes
[narrating her letter to Bruce as Alfred reads it]
Dear Bruce. I need to be honest and clear. I'm going to marry Harvey Dent. I love him, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. When I told you that if Gotham no longer needed Batman we could be together, I meant it. But now I'm sure the day won't come when *you* no longer need Batman. I hope it does; and if it does I will be there, but as your friend. I'm sorry to let you down. If you lose your faith in me, please keep your faith in people. Love, now and always, Rachel.
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The Chechen
They won't work... for a FREAK!
The Joker
[pulls out a knife]
Freak? Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, hmm? And then we'll see just how loyal a hungry dog REALLY is!
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The Joker
[During a private sit down meeting with the gangsters]
If we don't deal with this now, soon little, uh, Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
[He rises to his feet; Joker does too, opening his coat to reveal a cluster of grenades, attached to a string around his thumb]
The Joker
Ah-ta-ta-ta! Let's not *blow*...
Man No. 1
Shit!
The Joker
...this out of proportion.
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Bruce Wayne
...Because sometimes truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more.
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Reese
You wanted me to do the diligence on the L.S.I. Holdings deal again? Well... I found some irregularities.
Lucius Fox
Their C.E.O. is in police custody.
Reese
No, not with their numbers. With yours.
[Fox now brings his gaze up to Reese in interest]
Reese
Applied Sciences, a whole division of Wayne Enterprises just... disappeared overnight. I went down to the archive and started pulling some old files.
[takes out a blueprint of the Tumbler and places it on his desk, Fox removes his glasses, starting to take the conversation more seriously now]
Reese
Don't tell me you didn't recognize your baby out there pancaking cop cars on the evening news. Now you got the entire R&D department burning through cash claiming it's related to, uh, cell phones for the army? What are you building for him now? A rocket ship?
[Fox says nothing and continues to stare at Reese with some amusement]
Reese
I want ten-million dollars... a year... for the rest of my life.
Lucius Fox
[Fox leans forward and coolly says]
Now, let me get this straight. You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp... and your plan is to *blackmail* this person?
[at this point Reese's self-assertiveness is gone and is left totally speechless. Fox smiles]
Lucius Fox
Good luck.
Reese
[beat, embarrassed, gesturing to the Tumbler blueprint he mutters]
Keep that...
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Bruce Wayne
[after running into Harvey and Rachel at a restaurant]
So, let's put a couple tables together.
Harvey Dent
I'm not sure they'll let us.
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The Joker
I'm not. No, I'm not.
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Alfred Pennyworth
I trust you don't have *me* followed on my day off.
Bruce Wayne
If you ever took one, I might.
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[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes]
Batman
Don't let me find you out here again.
Brian
We're trying to help you!
Batman
I don't need help.
Dr. Jonathan Crane
Not my diagnosis!
Brian
What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me?
[Batman lowers himself into the Batmobile]
Batman
I'm not wearing hockey pads!
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Harvey Dent
[in his hospital room]
Remember that name you all had for me when I was at Internal Affairs? What was it, Gordon?
Lt. James Gordon
Harvey, I...
Harvey Dent
Say it.
Two-Face
Say it!
Lt. James Gordon
Two-Face. Harvey Two-Face.
[Dent turns his head, showing Gordon the mutilated side of his face]
Harvey Dent
Why should I hide who I am?
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Batman
You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen.
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The Joker
[to the mob after performing his "magic trick," during a private sit down meeting with the gangsters]
Oh, and by the way, the suit, it wasn't cheap. You oughta know, you bought it.
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The Joker
[Batman slams The Joker's head on a table in the interrogation room]
Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next...
[Batman slams his fist down on Joker's hand; pause]
The Joker
See?
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The Joker
[Is about to unmask the unconscious Batman but Gordon suddenly points a gun to his head]
Arrrgh! Could you *please* just give me a minute?
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Lucius Fox
Yeah, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne.
Bruce Wayne
I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function.
[hands him a diagram]
Lucius Fox
You want to be able to turn your head.
Bruce Wayne
Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier.
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The Joker
[after a news segment, holds camera facing himself]
See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[laughs]
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The Chechen
I put word out. We hire the clown.
[looks at the others]
The Chechen
He was right. We have to fix real problems: Batman.
[They don't see Gordon enter]
Lt. James Gordon
Ah our boy looks good on the tube.
Salvatore Maroni
You sure you want to embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant?
Lt. James Gordon
Don't worry. They're coming too.
[Other cops enter and arrest the mobsters in the restaurant. Cuts to various locations in Gotham City, as the police do a massive round up of the mobsters in town. We see Stephens loading one thug into a police car, underneath an 'L' line, saying]
Detective Stephens
Have a nice trip. See you next fall.
[cuts to a courtroom, where Judge Surillo is reading the massive charges]
Judge Surrillo
747 counts of extortion, 849 counts of racketeering, 246 counts of fraud, 87 counts of conspiracy to murder...
[as she flips through the documents, she finds a Joker playing card]
Judge Surrillo
... 527 counts of obstruction of justice. How do the defendants plead?
[a massive army of defense lawyers start jostling and yelling all at once. The stenographer looks up, confused]
Judge Surrillo
Order! Order in the court!
[cut to the Mayor's office, where the Mayor is berating Harvey for his actions. Gordon and Commissioner Loeb are also present]
Mayor Anthony Garcia
549 criminals at once. How did you convince Surillo to hear this farce?
Harvey Dent
She shares my enthusiasm for justice. After all, she is a judge.
Mayor Anthony Garcia
Well even if you're able to blow enough smoke to get convictions out of Surillo, you're going to set a new record at appeals for quickest kick in the ass.
Harvey Dent
It won't matter. The head guys make bail, sure... but the mid-level guys, they can't, and they can't afford to be off the streets long enough for trial and appeal. They'll cut deals that include *some* jail time. Think of all you could do with 18 months of clean streets.
[the Mayor waves Gordon and Commissioner Loeb out]
Mayor Anthony Garcia
The public likes you, Dent. That's the *only* reason this might fly. But that means it's on you. They're all coming after you now. Not just the mob: politicians, journalists, cops. Anyone whose wallet's about to get lighter. Are you up to it?
[Dent smiles]
Mayor Anthony Garcia
You better be. They get anything back on you, those criminals will be back on the streets...
[he walks over to the window and looks out]
Mayor Anthony Garcia
Followed swiftly by you and me.
[a dead Batman wanna-be in Joker makeup, with the sides of his mouth sliced into a grin, bangs into the window, causing the mayor to jump. Police lower the dead body, which is hanging from a noose, and they find a Joker card that says "WILL THE REAL BATMAN PLEASE STAND UP?"]
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The Joker
You can't rely on anybody these days, you gotta do everything yourself, don't we? But that's okay, I came prepared. It's a funny world we live in; speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?
Bruce Wayne
No, but I know how you got these.
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[the Batpod emerges from an alleyway]
The Joker
Now there's a Batman!
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Lucius Fox
[on the midlevel shopping center in Hong Kong]
It emits a high-frequency pulse for mapping an environment and records a response time.
Bruce Wayne
Sonar. Just like a...
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The Joker
[to Gambol's thugs, being held helpless by his own]
Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open right now, so we're gonna have...
[breaks pool cue over knee]
The Joker
Tryouts.
[throws broken pool cue at the thugs]
The Joker
Make it fast.
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[During the bank heist, the bank manager produces a shotgun and starts blasting away. Bozo and Grumpy dive for cover]
Gotham National Bank Manager
Do you have any idea who you're stealing from? You and your friends are dead!
Grumpy
He's out, right?
[Bozo thinks a moment, then nods. Grumpy stands and takes aim, only to take the manager's last round in his shoulder, allowing Bozo to shoot the manager in the leg]
Grumpy
Where did you learn to count?
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[first lines]
Grumpy
[with Chuckles, picks up Bozo on the street]
Three of a kind, let's do this!
Chuckles
That's it? Three guys?
Grumpy
Two guys on the roof. Every guy gets a share. Five shares is plenty.
Chuckles
*Six* shares. Don't forget the guy who planned the job.
Grumpy
He thinks he can sit it out and still take a slice?
Dopey
[up on the roof]
I know why they call him "The Joker".
Happy
[breaking open the alarm box with Dopey]
So why do they call him "the Joker"?
Dopey
I hear he wears makeup.
Happy
Makeup?
Dopey
Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.
Grumpy
[On the street, Bozo, Grumpy and Chuckles get out of their car and run inside the bank. Grumpy fires off a round into the air to grab the attention of the customers and tellers]
All right, everybody! Hands up, heads down!
[In the background, Chuckles overpowers one of the guards]
Grumpy
Let's put hands up, heads down!
[grabs a teller by his collar and pulls him over his desk]
Grumpy
Let's go, pal! I'm making a withdrawal here!
[He then points his gun at a female teller]
Grumpy
I said hands up!
Dopey
[waiting eagerly with Happy on the roof]
Here comes the silent alarm...
[presses a button to disable it]
Dopey
... and there it goes!
[Downstairs, Grumpy has managed to pull the female teller over the counter]
Dopey
That's funny. It didn't dial out to 911 - it was trying to reach a private number.
Happy
Is there a problem?
Dopey
Nah, nah. I'm done here.
[Happy shoots him, steals his bag, and rushes downstairs into the vault. In the lobby, Bozo is sticking gas grenades in the hostages' hands and pulling the pins]
Grumpy
Obviously we don't want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on to dear life!
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Harvey Dent
I'll get him to sing.
Lt. James Gordon
We're going after the mob's life savings. Things will get ugly.
Harvey Dent
I knew the risks when I took this job, Lieutenant.
[turns back to Batman]
Harvey Dent
How will you get him back any...
[Batman has disappeared]
Lt. James Gordon
He does that.
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Detective Wuertz
Listen, Dent, I swear to God I didn't know what they were gonna do to you.
Two-Face
That's funny...
[pulls out coin]
Two-Face
'Cause I don't know what's gonna happen to you either.
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Two-Face
[threatening Jimmy with a gun]
Tell your boy it's going to be all right, Gordon. Lie, like I lied.
Lt. James Gordon
It's going to be all right, son.
[Two-Face flips the coin; Batman tackles him and they fall; the coin lands good-side up]
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Scarecrow
Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they were places you wanted to go!
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Lucius Fox
[On the plan to capture Lau]
Now, for high altitude jumps, you'll need oxygen and stabilizers; but I must say, compared to your usual requests, jumping out of an airplane is pretty straightforward.
Bruce Wayne
And what about getting back into the plane?
Lucius Fox
I'd recommend a good travel agent.
Bruce Wayne
Without it landing.
Lucius Fox
Now that's more like it. The CIA had a program back in the 60s for getting their people out of hotspots called Skyhook. We could look into that.
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Batman
in the interrogation roomWhere is Dent?
The Joker
You have all these rules and you think they'll save you.
Batman
I have one rule.
The Joker
Oh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman
Which is?
The Joker
The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules.
[mimicking Batman's voice]
The Joker
And tonight you're gonna break your one rule!
Batman
I'm considering it.
The Joker
Oh, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.
The Joker
You know for a while there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her!
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Two-Face
The joker chose me!
Batman
Because you were the best of us. He wanted to prove that even someone as good as you could fall.
Two-Face
And he was right.
Batman
You're the one pointing the gun, Harvey. So point it at the people responsible.
Two-Face
Fair enough.
[to Batman]
Two-Face
You first.
[Flips the coin]
Two-Face
[Shoots Batman and points the gun at himself]
Two-Face
My turn.
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The Joker
Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth: there's no going back. You've changed things... forever.
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[Lau announces that he's removed all the mob's cash from their banks before the police raid, and stashed them in a secure location]
Lau
[during a video conference with the gangsters, interrupting their private sit down meeting]
For obvious reasons, I couldn't wait for your permission. Rest assured, your money is safe.
[From outside comes the sound of loud, fake laughter. The mob bosses turn and see the Joker enter]
The Joker
And I thought my jokes were bad.
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The Joker
[in a warehouse next to a mountain of money]
Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen
They won't work for a freak...
[pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons, who grab the Chechen]
The Joker
Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm? And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is. It's not about money... it's about sending a message. Everything burns!
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Two-Face
It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair!
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Batman
[seeing the wall of monitors for the first time at the Applied Sciences division in Wayne Enterprises]
Beautiful, isn't it?
Lucius Fox
Beautiful... unethical... dangerous. You've turned every cellphone in Gotham into a microphone.
Batman
And a high-frequency generator-receiver.
Lucius Fox
You took my sonar concept and applied it to every phone in the city. With half the city feeding you sonar, you can image all of Gotham. This is *wrong*.
Batman
I've gotta find this man, Lucius.
Lucius Fox
At what cost?
Batman
The database is null-key encrypted. It can only be accessed by one person.
Lucius Fox
This is too much power for one person.
Batman
That's why I gave it to you. Only you can use it.
Lucius Fox
Spying on 30 million people isn't part of my job description.
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Lt. James Gordon
Nothing. No matches on prints, DNA, dental. Clothing is custom, no labels. Nothing in his pockets but knives and lint. No name, no other alias.
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[while cross-examining one of Maroni's thugs on the witness stand, the thug pulls a gun and fires it at Harvey Dent; it mis-fires, and Harvey decks the thug with a right cross, and takes the gun away]
Harvey Dent
Carbon fiber, .28 Caliber, made in China.
[puts it on the table in front of Maroni]
Harvey Dent
If you want to kill a public servant, Mr. Maroni, I recommend you buy American.
Judge Freel
[to policemen holding the thug]
Get him out of here!
Harvey Dent
But, Your Honor, I'm not done.
[cheers from the gallery]
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[the Batpod charges towards in the semi truck]
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Alfred Pennyworth
You spat in the faces of Gotham's worse criminals. Didn't you think there might be some casualties? Things were always going to get worse before they got better.
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Harvey Dent
Lightly irradiated bills. Fancy stuff for a city cop. Have help?
Lt. James Gordon
We liase with various agencies.
Harvey Dent
Save it, Gordon. I want to meet him.
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Bruce Wayne
[in his high rise apartment]
You know that day that you once told me about, when Gotham would no longer need Batman? It's coming.
Rachel Dawes
Bruce. You can't ask me to wait for that.
Bruce Wayne
It's happening now. Harvey is that hero. He locked up half of the city's criminals, and he did it without wearing a mask. Gotham needs a hero with a face.
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Natascha
How could you want to raise children in a city like this?
Bruce Wayne
[while having a fancy dinner with Harvey, Rachel]
Well, I grew up in Gotham, and I turned out all right.
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Detective Wuertz
[in a bar]
Dent. Jesus. I thought you was dead.
Two-Face
Half.
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[examining one of the gauntlets for his new and improved Batsuit, Bruce presses a button, and the spikes are launched across the room, narrowly missing Fox before they bury themselves in the wall]
Lucius Fox
Perhaps you should read the instructions first?
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Lucius Fox
No, I really came to tell you that our business deal has to be put on hold. You see, we can't afford to be seen to do business with whatever it is you're accused of being. I'm sure a businessman of your stature will understand.
Lau
I think, Mr. Fox, a simple phone call might have sufficed.
Lucius Fox
Mr. Wayne didn't want you to think that he was deliberately wasting your time.
Lau
Just accidentally wasting it.
Lucius Fox
That's very good, Mr. Lau. Accidentally. Very good.
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Shotgun SWAT
That's not good!
[Police helicopter crashes into the road]
Shotgun SWAT
Okay, that's not good!
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The Joker
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
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Salvatore Maroni
[sitting in the defendant's chair]
I thought the D.A. just played golf with the mayor, things like that?
Harvey Dent
[standing in front of the prosecution table]
Tee off's one-thirty, more than enough time to put you away for life, Sally.
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[Rachel discovers Dent's coin is two-faced]
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Mike Engel
[after a news segment, kidnapped by the Joker, Engel is reading a prepared statement]
"I'm Mike Engel for Gotham Tonight. What does it take to make you people join in? You failed to kill the lawyer. I've got to get you off the bench..."
The Joker
Bench...
Mike Engel
"And into the game."
The Joker
...game.
Mike Engel
"Come nightfall, this city is mine..."
The Joker
Mine...
Mike Engel
"... and anyone left here plays by my rules."
The Joker
...rules.
Mike Engel
"If you don't want to be in the game... get out now.
The Joker
...get out now
Mike Engel
But the bridge and tunnel crowd are sure in for a surprise. Ha ha ha ha."
[Joker laughs]
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The Joker
[talking about crashing the helicopter]
Okay, rack 'em up. Rack 'em up, rack 'em up, rack 'em up.
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Two-Face
[in the back seat of his car while pointing a gun at him]
Going to join your wife? Do you love her?
Salvatore Maroni
Yes.
Two-Face
Did you ever wonder what it would be like to listen to her die?
Salvatore Maroni
Look, take it up with the Joker. He killed your woman. He made you - like this.
[gestures at Harvey's face]
Two-Face
The Joker's just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash.
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The Chechen
[after bringing out a man under the influence of fear toxin]
Look at what your drugs did to my customers.
Scarecrow
Buyer beware. I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they'd be places you wanted to go.
The Chechen
My business... repeat customers...
Scarecrow
If you don't like what I have to offer, you can buy from someone else. Assuming Batman left anyone to buy from.
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[Gordon and the police arrive to arrest Maroni in a restaurant]
Salvatore Maroni
You sure you wanna embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant?
Lt. James Gordon
Oh, don't worry. They're coming too.
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Harvey Dent
Well, I guess no answer is a no.
Rachel Dawes
Harvey...
Harvey Dent
It's someone else, isn't it?
Rachel Dawes
Harvey...
Harvey Dent
Just tell me it's not Wayne, the guy's a complete...
[Bruce comes up behind him and grabs him in a chokehold]
Rachel Dawes
What are you doing?
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Happy
[after cracking open the bank's safe]
They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that?
Grumpy
A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?
Happy
Boss told me, when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right?
Grumpy
Funny, he told me something similar.
Happy
What...?
[turns]
Happy
No, no, no-!
[Grumpy shoots him]
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Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb
How'd they get my DNA?
Lt. James Gordon
Someone with access to your house or office must have lifted a tissue or a... glass.
[realizing as Loeb takes a sip of whiskey]
Lt. James Gordon
Wait, WAIT!
[Loeb chokes]
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[while fighting with Batman, Joker knocks him down and raises a knife]
The Joker
All the old familiar places...
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The Joker
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent.
[climbs up to the cab of a semi truck, the driver of which is dead or unconscious]
The Joker
Oh, excuse me, I want to drive!
[shoves him out and takes the wheel]
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Reese
They're trying to kill me!
Lt. James Gordon
Well, maybe Batman will save you.
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[During a bank heist, the Joker has tricked all his men into killing each other, one after the other. One of the last ones, getting wise, points his gun at another thug, who still has his mask on]
Grumpy
I'm betting The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
Bozo
No. No, no, no. I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy
[confused]
Bus driver? What bus dri-?
[a school bus drives through the wall and kills Grumpy]
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The Joker
[During a private sit down with the gangsters]
Let's wind the clocks back a year: These cops and lawyers wouldn't dare cross any of you, so what happened? Did your balls drop off? I know why you choose to have your "group therapy" sessions in broad daylight, I know why you're afraid to go out at night: The Batman. Batman has shown your true colors. Unfortunately, Dent, he's just the beginning.
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The Joker
[in the interrogation room]
[... ctd]
The Joker
See, their morals, their code... it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you, when the chips are down, these... these civilized people? They'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster, I'm just ahead of the curve.
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[as the Batman wanna-bes attack the drug deal]
Scarecrow
That's not him.
[Mayhem ensues, with lots of gunfire]
The Chechen
Loose the dogs!
[after more fighting, the Batmobile crashes into the garage]
Scarecrow
That's more like it!
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Lt. James Gordon
[speaking to Harvey Dent in his office]
If I didn't work with cops you investigated while you were making your name at I.A. I'd be working alone. I don't get political points for being an idealist, I have to do the best I can with what I have.
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[Batman slams The Joker's head on a table]
The Joker
Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next...
[Batman slams a fist down on Joker's hand]
The Joker
See?
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Two-Face
Did she believe you?
Det. Ramirez
Yes.
Two-Face
Of course she did. Because she trusts you. Just like Rachel did.
Det. Ramirez
I didn't know what they were...
Two-Face
You didn't know what they were gonna do? You're the second cop to say that to me. What, *exactly*, did you think they were going to do?
Det. Ramirez
They got me early on, my mother's hospital bills, and I...
Two-Face
Don't!
[Harvey flips the coin]
Two-Face
Live to fight another day, officer.
[He knocks her unconscious with the butt of his gun]
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[after visiting the scarred Dent in the hospital, Gordon emerges and sees Maroni there, leaning on a cane]
Salvatore Maroni
This craziness... it's too much.
Lt. James Gordon
You should have thought of that before you let the clown out of the box.
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Bruce Wayne
You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?
Alfred Pennyworth
[looking at all the sunbathing women]
You can tell me the Russian for, "Apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
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Maroni's Mistress
[sitting next to each other in a club]
Can't we go someplace quieter? We can't hear each other talk.
Salvatore Maroni
What makes you think I want to hear you talk?
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[after Batman saves Rachel from falling out of a window]
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Happy
So why do they call him "The Joker"?
Dopey
I heard he wears make-up.
Happy
Make-up?
Dopey
[on the roof of the bank trying to disconnect the silent alarm]
Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.
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The Joker
[Referring to Lau from the video conference to the gangsters]
And as for the television's so-called "plan", Batman has no jurisdiction. He'll find him and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them, and...
[he indicates Lau, who shuts off the video conference]
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The Chechen
[During a private sit down meeting with the gangsters]
Who's stupid enough to steal from us?
Salvatore Maroni
Some two-bit whack-job. Wears a cheap purple suit and make-up. He's not the problem. He's a nobody.
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Gambol
I'm putting the word out: Five hundred grand for this clown dead, a million alive so I can teach him some manners first.
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Harvey Dent
Very well. Take the Batman into custody.
[everyone at the press conference looks confused]
Harvey Dent
I am the Batman.
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Commissioner Gillian B. Loeb
[regarding The Joker's threat on his life]
You're unlikely to discover this for yourself, so take my word, the police commissioner gets a lot of threats. I found the appropriate response to these situations a long time ago.
[pulls out a bottle of whiskey and glass]
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Lt. James Gordon
[while walking out of the courtroom with each other]
It's a shame Sal's going to walk.
Harvey Dent
Yeah, well, the good thing about the mob is they keep giving you second chances.
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[Gordon meets his wife after he faked his death]
Lt. James Gordon
I'm sorry, I couldn't risk your safety...
[Gordon's wife slaps him and then embraces him]
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[the Bat-Signal appears in the sky]
The Chechen
This is why we bring dogs!
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Joker
Why so serious? Why so serious? Let's put a smile on that face! And... Why so serious?
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Thug at Party
[as he guards an empty hallway inside Bruce's penthouse apartment during a fund raiser party for Harvey Dent, to Bruce before getting beat up and disarmed by him]
Hands up pretty boy.
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Cop Heckler
No more dead cops!
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Harvey Dent
You can *not* leave me alone with these people.
Rachel Dawes
[during the fundraiser party held for Harvey Dent]
The whole mob's after you, and you're worried about *these* guys?
Harvey Dent
Yea, well, compared to *these* guys, the mob doesn't scare me.
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Lt. James Gordon
[pointing a shotgun at the Joker after the armored car chase]
We got you, you son of a bitch!
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Lau
[During a video conference with the gangsters]
As you're all aware, one of our deposits were stolen. It was a relatively small amount: sixty million dollars.
The Chechen
Who's stupid enough to steal from us?
Salvatore Maroni
Some two-bit whack job. Wears a cheap purple suit and makeup. He's not the problem. The problem is our money being tracked by the cops.
Lau
Thanks to Mr. Maroni's well-placed sources, we know the police have indeed identified our banks using marked bills and are planning to seize your funds today. And since the enthusiastic new DA has put all my competitors out of business, I'm your only option.
The Chechen
What do you propose?
Lau
Moving all secure deposits to one location, not a bank.
Gambol
Where then?
Lau
No one can know but me. If the police were to gain leverage over one of you, then everyone's money would be at stake.
The Chechen
What will stop them from getting to you?
Lau
I'll go to Hong Kong, far from Dent's jurisdiction, and the Chinese will not extradite one of their own.
Salvatore Maroni
How soon can you move the money?
Lau
I already have.
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Salvatore Maroni
[to Batman who is interrogating him about The Joker]
No one's gonna tell you nothin'. They're wise to your act. You got rules. The Joker, he's got no rules. No one's gonna cross him to you. You want this guy, you got one way. But you already know what that is. Just take off that mask and let him come find you. Or you gonna let a couple more people get killed while you make your mind?
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Lt. James Gordon
What's he hiding under that make-up?
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Lt. James Gordon
Dent is in there with them! We have to save Dent! *I* have to save Dent!
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Detective Stephens
[to the Joker, as he is about to beat him]
I know you're gonna enjoy this. I'm gonna try and have to enjoy it even more.
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[the night Gordon is shot, his wife opens her door and sees Stephens and Ramirez]
Detective Stephens
I'm so sorry, Barbara...
[Stephens hugs her as she sobs]
Detective Stephens
If there's anything I can do...
Barbara Gordon
[to Batman in the shadows]
Are you up there? Are you? You brought this craziness on us! You did! You brought this on us...
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Joker
[to Harvey Dent]
The mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon's got plans. Y'know they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know I'm telling the truth. It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and, uh, look where that got you.
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[Bruce enters his bedroom while the Joker and his men storm the party. He finds a couple about to undress hurriedly tidying themselves]
Male Guest
What's going on out there? Wayne!
[Bruce ignores them and presses a button, opening the door to a secret room]
Female Guest
Oh, thank God, you've got a panic room...
[Bruce enters the secret room and closes the door behind him]
Male Guest
Hey, wait!
Female Guest
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
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Passenger
[after no one volunteers to push the detonator on the ferry]
No one wants to get their hands dirty. Fine I'll do it. Those men on that boat, they made their choices, they chose to murder and steal. It doesn't make any sense for all of us to die too.
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The Joker
You'll see. I'll show you.
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Rachel Dawes
Bruce... if you turn yourself in, they're not gonna let us be together.
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[watching news of Lau's capture on the television]
The Chechen
Put word out, we hire the clown.
[the other mobsters look doubtful]
The Chechen
He was right. We have to fix real problem: Batman.
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[while Grumpy overpowers two of the tellers in the bank, Happy and Dopey wait for the silent alarm to come]
Dopey
Here comes the silent alarm...
[disables it by pressing a button]
Dopey
And there it goes.
[pause]
Dopey
That's funny, it didn't dial out to 9-1-1. It was trying to reach a private number.
Happy
Is it a problem?
Dopey
Nah, I'm done here.
[Happy shoots him with a silenced Beretta 92SB-C, then takes his bag and runs down into the vault]
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Uniform Cop
[to the driver of the semi truck after he impatiently honks the horn several times, before being shot by a shotgun by the Joker]
hey, you wait like everybody else pal
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Shotgun SWAT
[after hearing over the radio to change the direction of their route]
lower fifth? We'll be like turkeys on thanksgiving down there.
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The Joker
"Never start with the head, the victim gets all... fuzzy. They can't feel the next..."
The Joker
"See..."
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Two-Face
[after seeing Gordon is actually alive]
You do like to play things pretty close to the chest
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Lt. James Gordon
The Joker planned to be caught. He *wanted* me to lock him up in the MCU!
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Two-Face
[while being transferred in an armored car while joker shoots at him]
These things are built for that right?
Armored Car SWAT
He's going to need something a lot bigger to get through this
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Mayor
We must remember that vigilance is the price of safety.
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[during the bank heist, Bozo subdues the terrified customers and employees by putting grenades in their hands and pulling the pins]
Grumpy
Obviously, we don't want you doing anything with your hands except hanging on for dear life!
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Shotgun SWAT
[to the driver after the garbage truck rams their SWAT van from the back]
come on, get us out of here, let's go
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Detective Murphy
Look at these ugly bastards.
Fat Thug
[in a holding cell]
I don't feel good.
Detective Murphy
You're a cop-killer. You're lucky to be feeling anything below the neck.
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The Joker
If you're good at something never do it for free
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Gambol
[angered]
enough from the clown. I'm putting the word out: five hundred grand for this clown dead, a million alive so I can teach him some manners first.
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Bruce Wayne
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain.
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Convoy Leader
[after seeing the firetruck on fire while blocking their path, nervously over the radio to the police cars in their convoy]
what the hell is that? Obstruction ahead obstruction ahead, damn it, all units divert down to lower fifth. I repeat exit down.
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Armored Car SWAT
[to the SWAT team in the back, after the garbage truck rams their SWAT van from the back]
we're in trouble guys
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