27 Dresses Movie Quotes
Kevin
Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind
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Jane
I feel like I just found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.
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Jane
You tell him the truth or I will.
Tess
No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you definitely wouldn't hurt me, I'm your sister.
Jane
That was yesterday. Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.
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Jane
No!
Kevin
Jane, it's fifty bucks. I'll pay you back.
Jane
No.
Kevin
Eh... not bad. Can I have your drink?
Jane
Sure.
[beat]
Jane
No! Oh, no...
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Jane's Aunt
Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
Jane
Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel SO much better!
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Jane
I think you should just admit that you're a big softy, that this whole cynical thing is just an act so that you can seem wounded and mysterious and sexy...
Kevin
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was the last one?
Jane
What?
Kevin
Did you say "sexy"?
Kevin
You think I'm sexy?
Jane
No.
Kevin
It's okay if you do.
Jane
I don't!
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Kevin
Oh, I know.
Jane
No, really. I never, never do this.
Kevin
No, really, I know. Last night, you kept saying it over and over again: "I never do this", "I *never* do this", "I never *do* this"...
Jane
Okay. I just wanted you to know.
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Kevin
What color is that - vomit?
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Casey
[after Jane turns down a drink offer from George]
He asks if you want a drink. You smile and say, 'Vodka soda.' If you already have a drink, you down it. Then there's some flirting, some interoffice sex, an accidental pregnancy, a shot gun wedding, and a life of bliss. How many times do we have to go over this?
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Jane
You write the most beautiful things. Do you actually believe in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me?
Kevin
I didn't follow that at all, but I think the second one, the spinning crap one.
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Tess
[about their childhood dog]
Not a day goes by that I don't think about that bag of fleas. Good old Tory.
George
Hey, Jane, how come you never mentioned Tory?
Jane
I don't know. I guess I repressed the memory of *Toby*.
Tess
Yeah, his name was Toby, but I called him Tory because I had a lisp.
Jane
A lisp that turned your B's to R's?
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Kevin
Wait, what are those?
Kevin
Are those...?
Jane
No!
Kevin
Are they bridesmaid dresses?
Jane
This is none of your business!
Kevin
Oh... good God. What, you kept them all? You have a whole closetful? Why?
Jane
I have a lot of friends and I like to keep them.
Jane
Some of them are not that bad.
Kevin
Not that bad? I'd like to see one of them that's not that bad.
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Kevin
No, but Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Drunk were bugging me.
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Jane
God, Casey, can't you keep it in your pants for one wedding?
Casey
Are you kidding? The only reason to wear this monstrous dress is that so some drunken groomsman can rip it to shreds with his teeth.
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Kevin
I cried like a baby at the Keller wedding.
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Jane
How refreshing! A man who doesn't believe in marriage.
Kevin
I'm just trying to point out the hypocrisy of the spectacle.
Jane
Oh! That's so noble of you. Do you also go around telling small children that Santa Claus doesn't exist? 'Cause someone needs to blow that shit wide open.
Kevin
A-ha! So you admit that believe in marriage is kind of like believing in Santa Claus!
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Kevin
You'd rather focus on other people's Kodak moments than make memories of your own!
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[Jane has just humiliated Tess at her rehearsal dinner]
Casey
So what happened?
Jane
He needed to know the truth.
Casey
You could have told him face-to-face. I mean, I know my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but... if I say something's wrong, something's wrong.
Jane
You're the one who's always telling me to stand up for myself.
Casey
Yeah, but that's not what you did. What you did was unleash twenty years of repressed feelings in one night. It was entertaining, don't get me wrong, but if it was the right thing to do, you'd feel better right now. Do you feel better right now?
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Casey
[she and Jane are in mutual friend's wedding. Casey's hair is a mess]
What? Don't look at me like that! The bitch said "Up" so it's up!
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Kevin
You kinda look like a shiny mermaid.
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Jane
Oh, my God. I feel like I found out my favorite love song was written about a sandwich.
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Kevin
I think you want a wedding, not a marriage a wedding.
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Jane
You would rather hang out with Italian models than come with me to my *awesome* work party?
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Jane
Can you please find somebody else to be creepy with?
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Jane
You got them champagne glasses and a bottle of Cristal.
George
Any way she's actually gonna believe it actually came from me?
Jane
Maybe. Wrapped it like a car ran over it.
George
Nice touch.
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Tess
How could you let this happen to me?
[begins reading from newspaper article]
Tess
"If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."
Jane
I had no idea he was writing an article about me.
Tess
You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!
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Jane
George appreciates me for who I am!
Casey
What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?
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Casey
Hey, do you want to come over to my place before the party? Some of the guys from shipping are coming, and they're bringing tequila and bubble wrap.
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Jane
Kevin, I've been waiting my whole life for the right guy to come along... and then you showed up. And you are nothing like the man I imagined. You're cynical... and cranky and impossible. But the truth is, fighting with you... is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And I think there's a very good chance that I'm falling in love with you.
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Casey
What good is it being appreciated if no one is naked?
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Jane
[Tess has just admitted that she wanted to be more like Jane]
Why would you want to be me when you could be you?
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Jane
I... I thought you were wearing Mom's dress.
Tess
It is Mom's dress. Well, parts of it. It was just so old-fashioned, you know? So we could just use a few pieces here and there.
Jane
Parts?
Tess
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like this, and the lace.
Jane
You cut up Mom's wedding dress?
Tess
Well, technically Mary-Ella did. But don't worry. We saved you the rest. And, I mean, if you want, you can wear this... as long as a silhouette's still in fashion. Mary-Ella, I think just the bottom needs to be hemmed a little bit.
Jane
No. No, no, no, no. No!
Tess
Okay, fine. You don't have to wear it.
Jane
God, you don't care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you? I have made excuses for you because Mom died when you were little. But enough is enough!
Tess
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jane
I can't undo what you've just done. But I won't let you hurt George. He thinks he knows the truth about you, but all he knows are the lies you've told him. You even had Pedro keep a secret from George. You tell him the truth right now! He is not one of your Eurotrash boyfriends, Tess. He is a good person. And you cannot start a relationship based on lies.
Tess
Oh, really, Jane? And you know this because of all your successful relationships?
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George
Jane, did you put that breakfast burrito on my desk?
Jane
Oh, I just thought you were hungry.
George
That's why I love you.
Jane
I love you too.
[Casey slaps her in the face]
Jane
Oh! Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I needed that.
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