Adventures of a Teenage Dragonslayer Movie Quotes
Shane
Look, I'm sorry about before. I... I wasn't feeling myself. You... You're really not my type.
Laura
Oh, I'm really not your type, huh? Yeah, you... well, you... could have fooled me.
Shane
No, no, no. That's not what I meant. You're fine. You're just...
Laura
I'm just what?
Shane
Too... momish.
Laura
Amish?
Shane
Momish.
Laura
Mom... Oh, momish! Too "momish." Nice. Nice.
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Laura
Did you hear that, Arthur? She's raised a cat. Maybe she'll teach you how to pee in a box.
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Laura
Okay, Mrs. Metz, your most royal exalted highness, I apologize. I apologize that someone saw fit to put you into a position of authority when your own son obviously has an L.O.D. problem. And I sincerely apologize that my Arthur didn't cause more harm to your little tyrant than to hurt his overpriced designer clothes. AND IF HE EVER BULLIES MY SON AGAIN, I SWEAR I WILL SHOW HIM NO LACK OF DISCIPLINE!
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Laura
Oh, is he cute?
Arthur
Permission to barf!
Laura
Denied, soldier. I just got the old shoe smell out of this car. I am not in the market for a new odor.
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Larry Metz
Get the bikes! We got wedgies to give.
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Arthur
You don't wanna eat me. I mean, I'll give you diarrhea, or... or SOMETHING!
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Arthur
You saved my life. The least I can do is save your teeth.
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Natalie
What about me?
Arthur
You're back-up.
Natalie
What does THAT mean?
Arthur
You back us up!
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Natalie
I'm hot-wiring the car. I learned it in Scouts. It's not all cookies and knee-high socks, you know.
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Arthur
Stop signs don't count in car chases.
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Laura
Every time you get caught, you think you have to lie your way out. What do you want to end up, a politician?
Arthur
I will neither confirm or deny that.
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Laura
Arthur, the Wicked Vice Principal of the West seems to think that you've committed some sort of crime, so could you please set the record straight so she can return to her coffin before the sun rises?
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Vice-Principal Metz
Drinking?
Laura
Yeah, well, it's fine 'cause I gave it to him.
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Laura
[as Vice Principal Metz searches the garage]
No troll, huh? Guess you're gonna have to find your dates on the Internet like the rest of us.
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Arthur
[pulling potions from his backpack]
What the...? They're all purple!
Natalie
I mixed in Kool-aid.
Arthur
No!
Natalie
I didn't open the black one.
Tim
You don't just mix Kool-Aid with potions! That's how you tell, like, uh, which one's which!
Natalie
Ever heard of labels?
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Vice-Principal Metz
[holding her dog]
It won't be long, my stinky little fur-baby, and all of our hard work will have paid off, and the world will once again know the name Lord Darksmoke. Now let's go do poopy time and then we can watch your Animal Planet, huh?
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Arthur
We'll split up.
Tim
Can I go with you?
Arthur
Yeah, except that will kind of ruin the whole "splitting up" thing.
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Tim
I gotta get home. I'm behind in my science fair project, and I've got a book report due tomorrow, and this is...
Arthur
Wait-wait-wait. What's the book?
Tim
Um... Oh, Watership Down.
Arthur
And how far did you get?
Tim
There's a rabbit on the cover.
Arthur
I read that book last year.
Tim
Yeah?
Arthur
Yeah. It's about these rabbits. They live in a hotel.
Tim
You mean it?
Arthur
Yeah, and they're twins. Their names are Zack and Cody.
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Tim
Whadda you think it is? A werewolf? A vampire? Maybe... maybe a minotaur?
Natalie
There's no such thing as minotaurs. They're mythological.
Tim
My myth-take.
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[Convention Flier: "Meet Shane Barker. Inventor of Elixir! This guy! You REALLY gotta meet him! Smart, rich and did we mention the butt?"]
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[Shane mentions having vivid dreams of trolls and dragons back when he was in rehab]
Tim
Maybe you had ESP.
Shane
Kid, they didn't have cable.
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Laura
I gotta make a phone call, so just flirt amongst yourselves, okay?
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Laura
I AM a mom. I don't have time to walk around in leather pants reading comic books. I have bills to pay and meals to make and a little boy to civilize.
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