You'll Never Get Rich Movie Quotes
Robert Curtis
Confidentially, Sheila, I'm delighted every time you make a mistake. It gives me the chance to dance with you.
Sheila Winthrop
Confidentially, I make mistakes for the same reason.
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[Cortland's car stops in front of a jewellery store; he asks his chauffeur why they have stopped here]
Jenkins, Martin's Chauffeur
Well don't you remember sir? This is your wedding anniversary.
Martin Cortland
Oh, of course, of course. My fifteenth, delightful occasion. Thank you, Jenkins.
[Cortland goes in, picks out a diamond bracelet]
5th Avenue Jewelry Salesman
Fine. To tell you the truth, that's my preference. Now will there be anything else?
Martin Cortland
No thank you. Oh, yes, yes - I want to get something for my wife, too.
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Marge
To a hungry man, a lamb chop is a tasty dish, but to the butcher it's just another hunk of meat.
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Robert Curtis
Look, I thought you promised there'd be no more galloping over rooftops?
Martin Cortland
Well, but this is different. She's a foreigner!
Robert Curtis
What's different about it? A gallop is a gallop in any language.
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Martin Cortland
Do anything so long as you make my wife believe I was telling the truth when I was lying to her!
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Robert Curtis
Hold it! We can't go in there.
Sheila Winthrop
Why not?
Robert Curtis
Well, you see, that's my bedroom.
Sheila Winthrop
Robert, don't be coy.
Robert Curtis
Well, I mean, there's work going on in there. There's a - a - a plumber!
Sheila Winthrop
What difference does that make?
Robert Curtis
What difference?
[shower starts]
Robert Curtis
There you are.
Sheila Winthrop
Oh, he's just fixing the shower, isn't he? Come on!
[Enters bedroom and sees Sonya reach her hand out of the bathroom to get her slip that's hanging on the doorknob]
Sheila Winthrop
Charming, wasn't he.
Robert Curtis
You mean that little...
Sheila Winthrop
That dainty little garment, yes. What the well dressed plumber's wearing, I guess, hmmm?
Robert Curtis
Well, you know, it takes all kinds of plumbers to make a world!
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Marge
You know that dance routine as well as I do.
Sheila Winthrop
That's right.
Marge
Then, why do you mop it just when Mr. Curtis is around?
Sheila Winthrop
Because I like to dance with him.
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Robert Curtis
[singing]
No crying Marge and Mert, You need a girdle Gert, And promise me please, To write me Louise, And give me the latest dirt, I'm off, my queens, To learn some new routines, I'm shootin' the works for Uncle Sam...
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Swivel Tongue
Boy, that's the first time I ever heard of a rabbit givin' a carrot back.
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Sheila Winthrop
Say, soldier, you're a beat off.
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Robert Curtis
Sheila, how can I see you again?
Sheila Winthrop
Oh, keep sitting at that window. And one of these days I might be passing by.
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Sheila Winthrop
How did I know you'd be silly enough to try a thing like this?
Robert Curtis
Where's the back door?
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Robert Curtis
All right, Martin, now what's your real idea of doing this show in camp?
Martin Cortland
Why, Robert, I'm surprised at you. You know I've always wanted to do something for the government.
Robert Curtis
Oh, yeah, sure, sure.
Martin Cortland
You'd think I was getting something out of this.
Robert Curtis
Only my services for nothing, that's all.
Martin Cortland
What do you mean for nothing? The government pays you $21 a month, doesn't it? Where does that money come from? The taxpayers. I'm a taxpayer.
Robert Curtis
Let me thank you, Martin.
Martin Cortland
Don't mention it, my boy.
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Guard House Singer - One of The Four Tones
That Miss Winthrop, she's so beautiful! And I hate her so much! When is Mr. Curtis going to put me in her place?
Martin Cortland
Any day now, Sonya. I'm working out a new angle.
Guard House Singer - One of The Four Tones
A new angle? Old angle! This angle! That angle! I want to dance! And all you do is angle me!
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Martin Cortland
Listen, Sonya, you trust me, don't you?
Guard House Singer - One of The Four Tones
No!
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Robert Curtis
[singing]
My dear, I've a feeling you are, So near, And yet so far, You appear, Like a radiant star, First so near, Then again so far...
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Robert Curtis
[singing]
My condition is only so-so, Cause whenever I feel you're close, oh, You turn out to be, Oh, so far...
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Robert Curtis
Boy, that was a pip!
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Colonel Shiller
Well, what's so important about a honeymoon? When you've been married for 25 years, as I have, you look back and wonder - oh, but, never mind that.
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Colonel Shiller
One more word from you and I'll be forced to have you disciplined.
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Colonel Shiller
You hear that, Miss Winthrop? The whole blooming Army's calling for you. And I might say, that includes myself.
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Singer in 'Wedding Cake Walk' Number
[singing]
Oh, here comes the bride, no less, It's hot stuff, that fluffy dress, I must admit, though she's lit, She looks a bit sweet, No wonder her Romeo, Begins shoutin' "Hi-De-Ho!" As his bride starts to stride, To a boogie beat...
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Singer in 'Wedding Cake Walk' Number
[singing]
When newlyweds in fancy carriages, Leave that reception gay, The Wedding Cakewalk, Sends them on their way, Pasty choirs in tasty churches, Gives it all they've got, Prudish old preachers on their perches, Say, "A-men, it's hot!"
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Sheila Winthrop
That's your fault.
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Capt. Nolan
Tell us, captain, how do you find conditions here?
Robert Curtis
Uh, splendid, splendid. The officers are all fine men, and, uh, very lenient with the selectees - I hope.
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Capt. Williams
Have you inspected our, uh, guard house, captain?
Robert Curtis
[Wearing Willams's coat which he had stollen]
Not, not completely. I expect to spend much more time there.
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Tom Barton
Colonel, Miss Winthrop and I are all packed and we're ready to leave on our honeymoon, sir.
Colonel Shiller
Well, what's so important about a honeymoon? When you've been married for 25 years as I have, you'll look back and wonder, uh, uh, but never mind that.
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Robert Curtis
Martin, every time you get an idea, something happens to me.
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Tom Barton
What would you recommend?
Robert Curtis
I'd throw him in the guardhouse until he learned better. Which wouldn't take long.
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Robert Curtis
[Impersonating an officer]
You see, the enlisted man is the backbone of the Army. And sometimes officers are not as considerate as I think they should be.
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Mrs. Julia Cortland
You're getting common place, and I'm getting bored with you.
Martin Cortland
Bored? With me? Is it my fault you reached in the wrong pocket.
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Sheila Winthrop
Ohhh, Capt. Curtis. How democratic of you to have a private's uniform.
Robert Curtis
[From inside the guard house]
Oh, uh, this is just temporary. My tent burned down and I had to order a new batch of uniforms.
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Robert Curtis
All right. I'm your man. The show is on. But I'll tell you why. Right next door lives a little lady who's going to dance with me.
Martin Cortland
Little lady - who?
Robert Curtis
Miss Sheila Winthrop.
Martin Cortland
Sheila Winthrop? Up here? Robert, you don't want her. Why she's a dangerous character. She almost broke me up with my wife - you know that.
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Capt. Williams
Tell me - what action would you recommend in the case of a, a private stealing a captain's coat?
Robert Curtis
Well, I wouldn't have him shot.
Capt. Williams
You wouldn't?
Robert Curtis
No, no, that's much too drastic. Besides it would spoil him for active duty.
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Martin Cortland
Would you stop looking at me that way?
Mrs. Julia Cortland
Like what?
Martin Cortland
Well, you oughtta know, you're doing it.
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Martin Cortland
You don't believe me, then?
Mrs. Julia Cortland
Oh, of course I do, darling. But that's because I know you so well. I'm just wondering how your story will sound to 12 strange men.
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Martin Cortland
Where are we Jenkins?
Jenkins, Martin's Chauffeur
Fifth Avenue, sir
Martin Cortland
Martin Cortland, Jenkins, Martin's Chauffeur: Well, I can see that, but why are we here?
Jenkins, Martin's Chauffeur
Well, don't you remember, sir? This is your wedding anniversary.
Martin Cortland
Oh, of course, heh, heh, of course.
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Martin Cortland
Do we have to fight on or wedding anniversary?
Mrs. Julia Cortland
How did you happen to remember that?
Martin Cortland
Well, Jenkins told me.
Mrs. Julia Cortland
Very thoughtful of Jenkins.
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Colonel Shiller
Do you think you could forego the somewhat dubious distinction of being a pioneer resident of the guardhouse long enough to assist him?
Robert Curtis
Oh, I'm sure of it, sir
Colonel Shiller
Well, that's fine. And so that the shock of being away from the guardhouse won't be too great, you will continue to spend your nights there.
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Martin Cortland
Now, don't jump to conclusions.
Mrs. Julia Cortland
No, no, I won't. We'll take it nice and easy.
Martin Cortland
But, Julia, you don't understand.
Mrs. Julia Cortland
No, I know I don't, dear. But I will when you explain.
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Martin Cortland
A football team - 11 men. A baseball team - nine. A symphony orchestra - a hundred men. 12 men?... ... A jury!
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Mrs. Julia Cortland
Frankly, I'm disappointed in you. There was a time when your alibis were gems.
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Martin Cortland
[after Julia has left]
Twelve strange men. Twelve strange men? She's batty. What's 12 strange men got to do with this?
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Robert Curtis
[Stopped by a policeman who points out a fireplug in front of his car]
That wasn't there when I parked.
Cop ticketing Curtis
Oh, I'm sure it wasn't. Every time it rains, these fireplugs pop out of the sidewalk like mushrooms.
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Sonya
[to Martin Cortland]
A new angle, old angle, this angle, that angle. I want to dance, and all you do is angle me.
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Martin Cortland
Then I'll bring 'em together again, and your conscience will be clean.
Sonya
But I do not worry about my conscience. I only worry about my career.
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Martin Cortland
Now listen, Sonya, you trust me don't ya?
Sonya
No!
Martin Cortland
Oh, that's ridiculous. Everybody trusts me.
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Martin Cortland
I wouldn't be mixed up in a thing like this - it's pretty low, you know. But it's a national emergency, my dear.
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Martin Cortland
You let me do the worrying, huh?
Sonya
All right, I'll let you do the worrying. But if your plan doesn't work... .
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Sonya
That Miss Winthrop. She is so beautiful, and I hate her so much
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Mrs. Barton
Well, now, here's a problem for that charming Capt. Curtis to handle.
Aunt Louise
I have a funny hunch he's working on it.
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Robert Curtis
If I didn't hate that guardhouse so much, I wouldn't even be talking to you.
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Robert Curtis
Hello.
[he doesn't get a response]
Robert Curtis
I said hello.
Sheila Winthrop
Oh. Sorry
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Robert Curtis
[after lights out in his squad tent] I'm a heel. That's what I am - a heel.
Voice in the dark
Shut up, ya heel!
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Robert Curtis
All right, now, listen kids. I want the whole number. Come on, places please! It's "Boogie Barcarolle" from the top and I'll do it with you. You ready? Music! Now give me some nice, straight lines, please. Go!
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Marge
Don't get your hopes up dear.
Sheila Winthrop
Why not?
Marge
Because, for eight hours everyday, Mr. Curtis is up to his hips in beautiful girls and we all look alike to him.
Sheila Winthrop
Really?
Marge
Yes! To a hungry man a lamb chop is a tasty dish; but, to the butcher its just another hunk of meat.
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Martin Cortland
Julia is going to divorce me.
Robert Curtis
I'll be the first to congratulate her.
Martin Cortland
How can you say that! You know I don't want a divorce. I'm a happily married man. I love my wife!
Robert Curtis
And, besides, all this property is in her name.
Martin Cortland
She's going to strip me right down to my underwear, too.
Robert Curtis
You ought to think of that, before you go galloping after something you shouldn't have and can't catch!
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Martin Cortland
Well, now what do you think, Miss Susie Suspicious?
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Sheila Winthrop
And that's what happened. It was all part of the game.
Marge
I see. This Curtis fellow pitched and you caught.
Swivel Tongue
Before the party broke up, Sheila did some pitching of her own! I'd say the score was even.
Sheila Winthrop
I wouldn't.
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Guard House Singer - One of The Four Tones
You say Lillie Neck, Longa Neck, Greata Neck, Connecticut. All I wanna know is when my brudder, she's arrive.
Railroad Information Clerk
I'm sorry but I don't understand what you want to know.
Guard House Singer - One of The Four Tones
He's no so smart.
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