The Boss Baby Movie Quotes
Tim
[about "Blackbird"]
That's my special song! My parents wrote it just for me.
Boss Baby
Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?
Tim
No, Ted and Janice! You don't even know their names!
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Tim
The people of Long Island do not know how to make an iced tea.
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1
[from trailer]
[at a conference with other babies]
Boss Baby
Put... that... cookie... down! Cookies are for closers!
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Tim
[from trailer]
[about the baby]
Tim
Look at him! He wears a suit...
Mother
He's like a little man!
Tim
He carries a briefcase! Does no one else think that's, oh, I don't know, a little freaky?
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Boss Baby
I can't do this without you, Tim. I need you.
Tim
I guess we DO make a pretty good team.
Boss Baby
No literally... I can't reach the doorknobs.
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Tim
[regarding Baby Corp]
So this whole place is run by babies?
Boss Baby
Yep.
Tim
My dad says "Those who can, do. And those who can't, supervise."
Boss Baby
Your father is a hippie.
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Tim
Can't we just share?
Boss Baby
You obviously didn't go to business school.
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Tim
You can talk!
Boss Baby
Uh, goo goo ga ga.
Tim
No, you can really talk!
Boss Baby
Fine! I can talk. Now let's see if you can listen. Give me a double espresso and find a place around here with decent sushi, I'd KILL for a spicy tuna roll right about now.
[gives Tim some money]
Boss Baby
Get yourself a little somethin'.
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[repeated line]
Boss Baby
Fart! Poop! Doody!
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[after the end credits; the alarm clock goes off]
Wizzie
Wake up, little halflings. It's time to leave. Go and live your peasant lives.
[the background music goes higher]
Wizzie
[flailing his arms up and down]
Be gone with you!
[fade to black]
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Tim
Even though I never went to business school I did learn to share in kindergarten. And if there isn't enough love for the two of us then I wanna give you all of mine.
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Dad
Dad, Mother: [singing "Blackbird"] Blackbird singing in the dead of night / Take these broken wings and learn to fly / All your life / You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
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Tim
Who ARE you?
Boss Baby
I'm the *boss*.
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Tim
You can't be fired from your own family. Can you?
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Boss Baby
Tim, I may look like a baby, but I was born all grown up.
Tim
I can't even imagine not being a kid. You missed out on your whole childhood? You never had someone to love you?
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[Tim and Boss Baby are riding a bicycle with training wheels, going after their parents, who are on their way to the airport, while being chased by Eugene]
Boss Baby
Tim, you gotta go faster!
Tim
I can't! I can't do it!
Boss Baby
Yes. you can!
[Leaps up onto Tim's shoulder]
Boss Baby
You've got it in you, Templeton. Now, eyes ahead. I said, eyes ahead, son! Buttocks up! Now, pedal like you mean it! Either you run the day, or the day runs you.
Boss Baby
[Tim pedals faster. Eugene almost catches them, but Boss Baby dodges his grasp, and they get further away]
Good!
[the bicycle's training wheels break off]
Boss Baby
Uh-oh!
Tim
Woah! My training wheels! I can't ride without my training wheels!
Boss Baby
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!
Tim
Aah! What are you talking about?
Boss Baby
The path to success is not a straight line, Templeton! But rather a wild ride, like a ship at sea. And you're a sea captain... taming a turbulent ocean!
[the scene transforms from a suburb to an ocean, with Tim and Boss Baby riding a boat]
Tim
I'm a sea captain, taming the ocean!
Tim
Tree! I'm gonna hit it!
Boss Baby
Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.
Tim
What?
Boss Baby
AIM AWAY FROM FAILURE!
[Tim steers away from the tree, the scene transforms back into a suburb backdrop]
Tim
I'm doing it, I'm doing it!
[They travel through a forest, with Eugene close behind who is smashing past trees]
Boss Baby
Once success is a habit, then it's all down...
Tim
Tim, Boss Baby: HILL!
[They ride down a hill. At which time, they see the car which their parents are in with Francis Francis]
Tim
Look! There they are! Mom! Dad!
[as the car passes the train crossing, a train passes by]
Tim
Train!
Boss Baby
Choo-choo!
[Tim notices a mold of sand at a construction site next to the tracks, he steers towards it]
Boss Baby
What are you doing?
[Tim pedals faster, the scene transforms into a ramp, with them riding a motorcycle, at the end of the ramp there is a ring of fire]
Tim
We're going to make it.
Boss Baby
But I don't have a quote for this!
[They jump, Boss Baby yells out 'Aaahhh'! And they make it, as the scene transform back into the 'real' world. Eugene crashes into the mold of sand, ending the pursuit]
Tim
No! We did it!
Boss Baby
And all without your training wheels.
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[dog sniffs costume's bottom part]
Boss Baby
Ugh!
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Captain Ross
[Making an announcement]
Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach, please fasten your seat belts. We're about to take off.
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Tim
[to Boss Baby]
What if you go baby again?
Boss Baby
Don't worry. I'll be fine.
[Goes into normal baby mode]
Boss Baby
Fine, fine, fine...
[Slaps]
Boss Baby
... fine!
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Adult Tim
[Opening lines]
[Narrates]
Adult Tim
[Young Tim rustles through leaves in an imaginary jungle scene]
Survival of the fittest. It's the law of the jungle. There's always someone trying to take what's yours.
[a comical blue gorilla sniffs a lantern and throws it, followed by a growl]
Adult Tim
And how do I know?
[Jumps down onto the jungle floor and screen freezes when Tim gets up]
Adult Tim
It almost happened to me.
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[last lines]
Tim's Daughter
Daddy, is that a true story?
Adult Tim
Well, sweetie That's how I remember it. But you what I learned? There's plenty of love for everyone.
Tim's Daughter
Even me?
Adult Tim
Especially you. Just ask your uncle Ted.
Boss Baby
Hey there. I hear you're going to have a baby siter.
Tim's Daughter
I wanted a horse.
Boss Baby
Get yourself a horse.
[throws her money then turns to Tim]
Boss Baby
I'm proud of you, Lesley.
Adult Tim
Right back at you, Linsey.
Tim's Daughter
Hey there.
[stares at her new baby sister who wears a suit and looks like Boss Baby. She gasps and the baby winks]
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Boss Baby
Upsies! I need upsies!
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Tim
What was Big Bossy Baby Lady screaming about?
Boss Baby
She's demanding actual results!
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