Tin Men Movie Quotes
Sam
You know when I saw 'Bonanza' the other day, something occurred to me.
Ernest Tilley
Eh?
Sam
Ya got these four guys living on the Ponderosa and ya never hear them say anything about wanting to get laid.
Ernest Tilley
Huh.
Sam
I mean ya never hear Hoss say to Little Joe, "I had such a hard-on when I woke up this morning."
Ernest Tilley
No, no, no...
Sam
They don't talk about broads - nothing. Ya never hear Little Joe say, "Hey, Hoss, I went to Virginia City and I saw a girl with the greatest ass I've ever seen in my life." They just walk around the Ponderosa: "Yes, Pa, where's Little Joe?" Nothin' about broads. I don't think I'm being too picky. But, if at least once, they talked about getting horny. I don't care if you live on the Ponderosa or right here in Baltimore, guys talk about getting laid. I'm beginning to think that show doesn't have too much realism.
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Bill Babowsky
[into the phone]
Hey, asshole! This is the ultimate "fuck you"! I just poked your wife!
Ernest Tilley
[into the phone]
Well, that's just fine by me. She's a pain in the ass! An albatross around my neck! You're welcome to her. Keep her, and may you both rot in Hell!
[hangs up]
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Sam
You notice Little Joe never says "Hey Pa, I'm gonna go into town to get a piece of ass"?
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Nora Tilley
If we went on a picnic it would be fun.
Ernest Tilley
I don't understand a picnic. We go someplace, we put a thing on the ground and eat.
Nora Tilley
Yeah, it's nice to do that.
Ernest Tilley
Why? I don't get it. It's better sittin' in front of the TV.
Nora Tilley
I happen to think there's somethin' nice about a picnic. It's fun.
Ernest Tilley
What's fun about it? Ants get in the food - there's bees. I don't get it. You have to drive - it takes you maybe an hour to get there. And then whataya do? You sit on the grass and eat. Why is that fun?
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Sam
'Bonanza' is not an accurate depiction of the west.
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Sam
[Sam and Tilley go out to bar to celebrate a sale that Tilley has made to break a long dry spell]
You know, Tilley, I'm beginning to believe in God.
Ernest Tilley
Yeah me too!
Sam
No, you don't know what I mean. I'm beginning to think about God more.
Ernest Tilley
What, you were never one of those atheists, were you?
Sam
No, I'm not sayin' that. It's just that I'm beginning to give God more thought.
Ernest Tilley
What, did you have some kind of religious experience or something.
Sam
Well, yeah, the other day I took the wife to lunch, we went and has some smorgasboard, and it just kinda happened.
Sam
Well, yeah, I'm looking at all this food, I see all these vegetables, and I think, all these things came outta the ground. I see tomatoes, outta the ground, carrots, outta the ground, radishes outta the ground. And I think, all of these things come outta the ground. And I'm just talkin' about the vegetables, I haven't gotten to the fruits yet. And I think, how can that be? How can all these things come outta the ground? With all these things comin' outta the ground, there must be a God.
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Bill Babowsky
Are you a Lunatic? Are you tellin' me that you didn't see me comin' out of this lot? There's a red light there for cryin' out loud! You're supposed to stop!
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Ernest Tilley
If Mr. Merengue wants to play, we'll play!
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Ernest Tilley
There is no sympathy for the working man in this country.
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Bill Babowsky
I'm gonna get this guy. Just for the fun of it!
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