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Kinoafisha Films Merrily We Go to Hell Merrily We Go to Hell Movie Quotes

Merrily We Go to Hell Movie Quotes

Joan Prentice Gentlemen, I give you the holy state of matrimony, modern style: single lives, twin beds and triple bromides in the morning.

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Charlie Baxter [Toasting] To the ladies. They keep their hearts, and change their minds.

Joan Prentice Oh, no. We keep our minds, but change our hearts!

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Vi Here's something to clean up the floor.

[hands a hand towel to Jerry]

Buck Is there anything I can do, Joan?

Jerry Corbett Yeah, you can clean up the floor.

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[repeated line]

Jerry Corbett Is there a baritone in the house?

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Jerry Corbett [toast] Well, merrily we go to Hell.

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Jerry Corbett If you love me, you'll lock that door so that I can't get out.

[Joan opens the door]

Jerry Corbett You mean that?

Joan Prentice I'm no jailer.

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Joan Prentice I spent the morning realizing that we're living in a modern world - where there's no place for old-fashioned wives. You seem to want a modern wife and that's what I'm going to be. In other words, I'm going to unpack my trunks. You see, I'd rather go merrily to Hell with you than alone.

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Claire Hempstead Dear, why are you treating me with this devotion?

Jerry Corbett Devotion?

Claire Hempstead Well, about as much devotion as I'd show to a boa constrictor. Is it because I treated you badly once?

Jerry Corbett I didn't think you knew that you had.

Claire Hempstead I was young and egotistical, Jerry.

Jerry Corbett Well, what are you now?

Claire Hempstead Young and egotistical.

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[recurrent line]

Jerry Corbett I think you're swell.

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Jerry Corbett You don't often see such fine hands. Long, slender and artistic. And a diamond ring the size of a small potato on the right little finger.

Joan Prentice Awfully fine head. You're like an Indian. Fine chiseled features. Clean-cut as a tomahawk.

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Jerry Corbett I guess I didn't know you walked on these floors; because most of the floors I know have sawdust on them.

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Jerry Corbett You know Miss Claire Hempstead, I met a girl who's just the opposite of your lovely, fleshly self. The first girl that's attracted me since you opened my veins and carried away my blood in a golden bowl.

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Buck What this country needs is more blondes like that and more men like me.

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Buck I think we ought to celebrate.

Jerry Corbett So do I.

Buck So do I.

Jerry Corbett Let us have champagne, or at the very least, beer.

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Jerry Corbett Don't you think I've done enough today?

Joan Prentice How many pages?

Jerry Corbett Two, uh, and a half.

Joan Prentice You know you do three pages a day.

Jerry Corbett You're not Mrs. Jerry Corbett. You're Mrs. Simon Legree and I'm poor ol' Uncle Tom.

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Jerry Corbett We're rich! We're famous! We're *celebrities*!

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Claire Hempstead Well, how do you feel with the curtain going up on your first play?

Jerry Corbett Like Napoleon before Austerlitz - or before Waterloo.

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Jerry Corbett [on the phone] What would you say if I said I was coming over to see you now? Well, you might at least answer me.

Claire Hempstead Sir, if I said yes, I should mean no, and if I said no, I should mean yes. But my silence is all true and for you.

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Buck What this country needs is fewer blondes.

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Jerry Corbett I always said you were swell.

Joan Prentice Perhaps you won't think so much longer because if being a modern husband gives you privileges, then being a modern wife gives me privileges.

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Jerry Corbett Sir, you're a baritone and a gentleman...

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Claire Hempstead The only thing worse than a drunkard is a reformed drunkard.

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Jerry Corbett [singing] First she gave me ginger bread and then she gave me cake; and then she gave me creme de menthe for meeting her at the gate.

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Buck That's what this country needs, more men who know when they've been wrong.

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Joan Prentice [seeing Jerry being carried in] Oh, Buck - is he hurt?

Buck Oh, he's still alive, but a couple of bottles of scotch are dead.

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Jerry Corbett [Drunkenly] At the moment we're looking for a baritone.

Fred - Bartender [Taking offense] I don't allow them in the place!

Jerry Corbett [In unison with Buck and Claire] You don't?

[They leave]

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Richard Damery [after Jerry reads a particularly snide column about him and Joan written by Demery] Any statement to make to the press, Corbett?

Jerry Corbett Any statement I made to you wouldn't be fit to print.

Richard Damery [Officiously] Well, I don't know. Yours is just a common case. When we're young, we want to marry for love, and when we're a little older, we marry a Rolls-Royce.

[Jerry punches him]

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Jerry Corbett [Drunk and slurring] I don't believe we've met. My name's Corbett, what's yours?

Gregory 'Greg' Boleslavsky Gregory Boleslavsky.

Jerry Corbett [Taking affront] Hey, now, wait a minute. I asked you a civil question and I expect a civil answer.

[Bewildered, he puts his hands in his pockets]

Jerry Corbett Want a drink?

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Buck What this country needs is less ventilation and more smoke!

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Joan Prentice I see you believe in signs.

Jerry Corbett [Drunkenly] Mmmm, and all the signs point to three stars.

[THe camera pans in to a bottle of Henessey brandy]

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Jerry Corbett What troubles me is, have I a right to take a swell girl and make her my wife?

Vi No.

Jerry Corbett Your charm is only exceeded by your frankness.

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Jerry Corbett Wouldn't you like a little drink?

Joan Prentice No thank you. Drinking isn't one of my many vices.

Jerry Corbett Oh, personally, I'm going to stop drinking next Tuesday afternoon at three o'clock sharp.

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Vi I wish you'd keep your mind active instead of your feet.

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Jerry Corbett I've just had an invitation to the dance. James, me cuffs and me sword, please. I'm off to the wars in Flanders.

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Claire Hempstead Oh, Jerry, this is your big moment.

Jerry Corbett To Waterloo.

Claire Hempstead To Austerlitz!

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Joan Prentice If being a modern husband gives you privileges, then being a modern wife gives me privileges.

Jerry Corbett I'm not worried, honey. I've told you before, you've got the words but not the tune.

Joan Prentice Don't forget, I have a musical ear and can pick up tunes easily.

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Joan Prentice Where's our charming host?

Jerry Corbett He's sleeping - behind the bar there.

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[last lines]

Joan Prentice Oh, Jerry. My baby. My baby.

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Jerry Corbett I'm grateful this whole thing's happened because if I had never met you again, I might have gone through life clinging to an image in my mind, a phantom that I'd been drinking to for years, when all the time I had a wonderful reality in my arms.

Claire Hempstead You really should save those speeches for your plays.

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Jerry Corbett You shouldn't have got me started on the subject of myself; because, I can go on and on for hours!

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Joan Prentice Do you always make love to girls when you take them for a drive?

Jerry Corbett I don't often take them for a drive. I'm afraid as a rule I prefer the company of men - particularly if they're bartenders. You see, I figured out a long time ago a punch in the nose heals much quicker than a broken heart.

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Party Boy [laughing, drunkenly] By the way, has anyone here heard about the depression?

Joan Prentice What depression?

Male Party Guest The very charming depression between your shoulder blades, my dear.

Joan Prentice [giggling] You're tickling me.

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