Octopussy Movie Quotes
[after Bond has escaped]
Kamal Khan
Mr. Bond is indeed of a very rare breed... soon to be made extinct.
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Vijay
Is he still there?
Q
You must be joking! 007 on an island populated exclusively by women? We won't see him till dawn!
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Magda
That's my little octopussy.
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James Bond
[Q's mechanized version of the "Indian Rope Trick" malfunctions]
Having problems keeping it up, Q?
Q
Experimental model!
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Kamal Khan
[sore loser]
Spend the money quickly, Mister Bond.
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Q
[being kissed by Magda after knocking out a bandit]
Cut it out! We don't have time for that!
Magda
Aw.
Q
Later perhaps.
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[Bond and Q are floating in a hot air balloon]
James Bond
I trust you can handle this contraption, Q?
Q
It goes by hot air.
James Bond
Oh, then you can.
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[Confronting James Bond]
Kamal Khan
You have a nasty habit of surviving.
James Bond
You know what they say about the fittest.
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Kamal Khan
[preparing to leave the circus, where a bomb is placed]
General, excuse me. I have some traveling arrangements to make. Enjoy the show.
US general
Thank you.
US aide
I'm sure the general will get a big blast out of this.
Kamal Khan
I know he won't be disappointed.
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M
Remember, 007, you're on your own.
James Bond
Well, thank you, sir. That's a great comfort.
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[General Orlov tries to board the circus train, but is shot down by the German border guards. General Gogol, who by now learned about Orlov's scheme, approaches the fatally-injured man, looking at him disdainfully]
General Anatoly Gogol
[contemptuously]
A common thief. A disgrace to the uniform!
Orlov
Yes, but tomorrow, I shall be a hero of the Soviet Union.
[despite his pain, Orlov smiles faintly, and then dies]
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Orlov
[enters the trailer, sees Bond in Mischka's 'Twin One' clothes from behind and mistakes him for Mischka]
Leave that! Let's go.
James Bond
[turns around, facing Orlov with pointed gun]
Let's stay. Sit on that box. Hands on your knees. Come on, move! Now why is that bomb on the train?
Orlov
Who are you?
James Bond
I'm British Secret Service.
Orlov
You should be more concerned about getting out of here alive.
James Bond
I am more concerned about an atomic bomb exploding on a US Air Force base! You surely can't be inviting a full-scale nuclear war? What happens when the US retaliates?
James Bond
[frowning, realizing Orlov's scheme]
My God... of course. Our early-warning system will rule out the possibility of that bomb having been launched from Russia or anywhere else. Everyone will assume incorrectly... that it was a American bomb triggered accidentally.
Orlov
Well, that would be the most plausible explanation.
James Bond
Europe will insist on unilateral disarmament, leaving every border undefended for you to walk across at will! And it doesn't matter a damn to you I suppose that thousands of innocent people will be killed in that "accident" of yours?
Orlov
Better than letting a handful of old men in Moscow bargain away our advantage in disarmament talks!
James Bond
On your feet, General. You're going to stop that train.
James Bond
You can stop it at the border.
[suddenly the door opens. Bond turns around to see a Russian soldier. Bond kills the soldier before he manages to point his rifle, and meanwhile Orlov escapes]
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Magda
I guess this is good night.
James Bond
I could come in for a nightcap.
[Gobinda puts a hand in front of Magda's door]
James Bond
Some other time perhaps.
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Jim Fanning
[after Bond bids for the egg]
Have you gone mad?
James Bond
Let's see how badly he wants it.
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Vijay
No problem, this is a company car.
[the unlikely-looking Tuk-Tuk 'rickshaw cab' accelerates through the crowd on its back wheels]
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[Twin Two throws several knives at Bond, which pass through his clothes, pinning him to a cabin door]
Twin Two
[draws another knife]
And this... for my brother...
[Bond plucks one of the knives from the door, and throws it at Twin Two, hitting him fatally in his stomach]
James Bond
And that's for 009!
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Octopussy
Who is he?
Kamal Kahn
Englishman. Likes eggs, preferably Fabergé, and dice, preferably loaded.
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[Vijay has just stopped some bad guys with his tennis racket]
Vijay
Game, set and match!
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Q
[Q is demonstrating a pen filled with acid]
Dissolves all metals.
James Bond
Wonderful for poison pen letters...
Q
Pay attention, 007!
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General Anatoly Gogol
I believe I express the opinion of everyone present that adoption of NATO proposals does not compromise our defensive position.
Soviet Chairman
General Orlov.
Orlov
General Gogol is presumptuous. He speaks for himself and others who cling to *timid*, outdated and unrealistic policies! Must I remind you, the committee, of our *overwhelming* superiority over NATO forces before we give it away?
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M
You had no business bidding for that egg! What would you have done if you'd had been stuck with it?
James Bond
Then I would have claimed it was a fake, sir... and not paid.
M
Not paid?
James Bond
Here is the real one. I swiped it with the fake at the auction.
M
Good God. And what happens when the buyer discovers this?
James Bond
He complains.
M
Well?
James Bond
I don't think he will complain. According to Fanning, this Kamal usually sells. Now he buys. I think the fake will smoke him out. I had a tail follow him to Heathrow, where he caught a plane to Delhi.
M
You must go there, too. I'll have Sadruddin, our man at Station I, there to assist you.
James Bond
Yes, well, I have exactly 35 minutes to catch that plane.
M
Oh, Bond... sign a chit for that egg on your way out... it's government property now.
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Octopussy
A paid assassin.
James Bond
When I kill it is on the specific orders of my Government.
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[Bond is dragged from a river onto a tour boat]
Woman on Tour Boat
Are you with our group?
James Bond
No, ma'am, I'm with the economy tour!
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Front Desk Clerk
I hope you have a pleasant stay.
[Bond eyes a bikini clad beauty nearby who smiles at him]
James Bond
I'm, ah, sure I will.
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James Bond
Let's put it this way, up to now you are the least lethal and, by far, the prettiest of Kamal's friends that I've come across.
Magda
Thank you.
James Bond
So, does he have a proposition for me or - do you?
Magda
He suggests trade. The egg - for you life.
James Bond
Well, I heard the price of eggs was going up, but, isn't that a little high?
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James Bond
[handing a wad of Indian cash to his accomplice]
That should keep you in curry for a few weeks.
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James Bond
May I join you? Sotheby's. Half a million pounds.
Magda
The man at the auction.
James Bond
Precisely.
Magda
You have a very good memory for faces.
James Bond
And figures.
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Octopussy
[Bond sneaks on to the island and makes his way into Octopussy's room]
Good evening. I wondered when you might arrive.
James Bond
So you are the mysterious Octopussy.
Octopussy
And you are James Bond, 007, licensed to kill. Am l to be your target for tonight?
James Bond
Oh no, not necessarily. Depends how much you tell me about jewelry smuggling. And why one of our agents was killed in East Berlin.
Octopussy
I know nothing about that. You remember Major Dexter Smythe? You were sent out to arrest him, weren't you?
James Bond
You seem to have done your homework.
James Bond
Yes. Smythe, after a brilliant military career, was seconded to our secret service. His mission was to recover a cache of Chinese gold seized in North Korea. Both he and his native guide disappeared. The gold was never found.
Octopussy
And 20 years later you were sent after him.
James Bond
Well, the guide's body turned up with a bullet still in his skull from Smythe's service revolver. I traced Smythe to Sri Lanka, faced him with the facts, and gave him 24 hours to clear up his affairs before I took him back.
Octopussy
He committed suicide rather than face the disgrace of a court martial.
James Bond
What's the connection?
Octopussy
He was my father. I'd hoped fate would bring us together one day.
James Bond
To avenge him?
Octopussy
No, to thank you for giving him an honorable alternative.
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[first lines]
James Bond
You didn't tell me there was going to be this much security.
Bianca
They moved the flight up to this afternoon.
James Bond
Well, we're going to have to go ahead as planned anyway.
[Bianca hands an ID badge with the name 'Luis Toro' to Bond]
James Bond
Toro. Sounds like a load of bull.
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James Bond
[Bond's jet is on empty but he manages to land it next to a gas station and the pump attendant comes out to greet him]
Fill er' up, please!
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Magda
[In bed]
I need refilling.
James Bond
Hmm? Of course you do.
[reaches for a bottle of champagne]
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Fakir
[Bond fights one of the thugs, throwing him onto a bed of nails]
Get off my bed!
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[last lines]
[Bond is in traction]
Octopussy
I wish...
James Bond
What?
Octopussy
I wish you weren't in such a weakened condition.
[Bond releases himself from traction]
Octopussy
Oh, James.
[Bond kisses Octopussy passionately]
Octopussy
James!
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M
Do you know what this is?
James Bond
Why, it looks like a Fabergé egg, sir. One of the jeweled eggs made by Carl Fabergé as an Easter gift to the Russian royal family. They're priceless and very rare. This one contains a model of the imperial stage coach.
M
Top marks, 007.
James Bond
Thank you, sir.
M
Except - it's a fake.
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Magda
It's for my scrapbook. I collect - memories.
James Bond
Well, let's get on with - making a few.
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Sadruddin
It belongs to a fabulously wealthy woman who lives on the floating palace.
James Bond
Who is she?
Sadruddin
No one knows her real name; but, she's known as Octopussy.
James Bond
Well, that's the name I heard at Kamal's.
Vijay
I hear the island is fully of beautiful women. No men allowed.
James Bond
Really? Sexual discrimination. I'll definitely have to pay it a visit.
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Octopussy
Good evening. I wondered when you might arrive.
James Bond
So you are the mysterious Octopussy.
Octopussy
And you are James Bond, 007, Licensed to Kill. Am I to be your target tonight?
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Octopussy
Mr. Bond, smuggling is no concern of the Secret Service. I've violated no British law. You're free to leave; but, I'd much rather prefer if you'd stay as my guest for a few days.
James Bond
I'd like that.
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James Bond
I would have taken that double, myself.
Kamal Khan
Then, why don't you take over the Major's position? Mr?
James Bond
Bond, James Bond.
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James Bond
What can I say, Miss Moneypenny, except to say that she is - as attractive and, eh - as charming...
Miss Moneypenny
As I used to be?
James Bond
I didn't say that.
Miss Moneypenny
You're such a flatterer, James.
James Bond
Oh, Moneypenny, you know there never has been and - there never will be -anybody but you.
Miss Moneypenny
So, you've told me.
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Kamal Khan
Good evening, Mr. Bond.
James Bond
Good evening.
Kamal Khan
Well rested? I believe you and Miss Magda have - met?
James Bond
It was a pleasure.
Magda
You're too kind.
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Vijay
[a snake charmer who is Bond's contact when he arrives in India]
This was the wrong cover. I hate snakes.
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[Q has caught James Bond playing around with the latest liquid crystal TV camera by zooming in on a woman's cleavage]
Q
[genuinely outraged and annoyed]
*REALLY*, 007! I do not have time for these adolescent antics!
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James Bond
At the risk of appearing to be making light dinner conversation, may I ask exactly why I'm here?
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James Bond
Ah, Q - how are you?
Q
Most unhappy, 007, thanks to you. How can I be expected to maintain the quality of my work? Sent out here at a moment's notice! No proper facilities!
James Bond
Yes, well, you wouldn't have a small piece of thread, now. Somebody seems to have stuck a knife in my wallet.
Q
Ah, they missed you. What a pity!
James Bond
I've also mislaid my PPK.
Q
Anything else?
James Bond
No, that's all Q.
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Octopussy
When Father's gold ran out, the people in Hong Kong who'd disposed of it for him offered me a commission to smuggle some diamonds. I discovered I had a talent for it.
James Bond
You went into business for yourself?
Octopussy
Yes, but l needed an organization, so l revived the old Octopus cult.
James Bond
Well, then. Where did you recruit all these lovelies?
Octopussy
There are many of them all over Southeast Asia, looking for a guru, spiritual discipline, who knows what. l train them. Give them a purpose, a sisterhood and a way of life.
James Bond
In crime?
Octopussy
In business. I have diversified into shipping, hotels, carnivals and circuses.
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Vijay
[Tells Bond about Kamal's doings, and says that he, too, plays cricket]
As a matter of fact, I've got a part-time job as a pro at Kamal's club.
James Bond
What have you learned so far?
Vijay
Well, my backhand's improving.
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Gobinda
The Englishman has escaped!
Kamal Khan
He won't go very far. We'll track him.
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James Bond
Welcome to Universal Exports.
[Bond gives Miss Smallbone a bouquet of red carnations]
Miss Moneypenny
Take it dear, that's all you'll ever get from him.
Penelope Smallbone
Thank you, Commander Bond.
James Bond
You know me?
Penelope Smallbone
Miss Moneypenny described you.
Miss Moneypenny
In nauseating detail.
James Bond
Really?
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James Bond
Well, I must say you've become more beautiful everyday.
Miss Moneypenny
*I'm* over here.
James Bond
Oh, of course you are.
Miss Moneypenny
And this is Miss Penelope Smallbone - my new assistant.
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Gobinda
[Bond zooms past Kamal and Gobrinda as they're leaving the circus]
That was Bond.
Kamal Kahn
Good. Let him keep going. He'll be late and we'll be rid of him too.
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Kamal Khan
His name is James Bond.
Octopussy
Bring him here.
Kamal Khan
He's dangerous. After he's talked, we must get rid of him immediately.
Octopussy
No.
Kamal Khan
A ''no'' from you has little chance of becoming a ''yes''. l assume, therefore, that the meeting is over. But you're making a serious mistake.
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Octopussy
[James embraces and kisses Octopussy]
No!
James Bond
You're right, we are two of a kind.
[Kiss]
Octopussy
Oh - James!
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Kamal Khan
[Bond is on the wing of Kamal's plane, trying to force it down]
He'll kill us all. Go out and get him.
Gobinda
Out there?
Kamal Khan
Go!
Gobinda
Yes, Excellence.
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Kamal Khan
Octopussy, I would enjoy another opportunity to take care of Mr. Bond, personally.
Octopussy
I will take care of Mr. Bond, myself.
Kamal Khan
Good night. And, enjoy yourself, Mr. Bond.
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Octopussy
Is something wrong?
James Bond
Not really. Just a feeling.
Octopussy
Why don't you come back to bed.
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James Bond
[Attending a London art auction of a Faberge egg, with an MI6 art expert]
How much should it fetch?
Jim Fanning
[MI6 art expert]
Oh, 250,000... 300,000 pounds. Anything more would be crazy.
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Galley Mistress
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Come on, girls! In. Out.
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Q
Really, 007! Look, I haven't time for these adolescent antics!
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Orlov
A lightening thrust by ten armored divisions from the north and by five more through Czechoslovakia, leads to total victory in five days against any possible defense scenario.
General Anatoly Gogol
This is absolute madness! We know where it will end. NATO will counterattack with nuclear weapons!
Orlov
Never! The West is decadent - and divided! It has no stomach to risk our atomic reprisals! Throughout Europe daily demonstrations demand unilateral nuclear disarmament.
General Anatoly Gogol
I see no reason to risk war to satisfy your personal paranoia and thirst for conquest!
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Octopussy
Oh, a man of principle - with a price on his head. Naturally you do it for Queen and Country. I have no country. I have no price on my head!
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James Bond
[Bond lands his plane, folds up the wings and drives into a gas station]
Fill her up, please.
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General Anatoly Gogol
My government categorically denies the incident ever occurred.
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M
Eyes only, 007. Operation Trove. You'll be replacing 009. He turned up dead in East Germany with that egg in his hand.
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Soviet Chairman
World Socialism will be achieved peaceably. Our military role is strictly defensive. Is that understood, General Orlov?
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Magda
I don't know how to say goodbye.
James Bond
Actions speak louder than words.
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Twin Two
The thief was dealt with, but the egg was lost in the river
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