A Hard Day's Night Movie Quotes
Reporter
How did you find America?
John
Turned left at Greenland.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
That's not your grandfather!
Paul
It is, you know.
George
But I've seen your grandfather! He lives in your house!
Paul
Oh, that's my other grandfather, but he's my grandfather, as well.
John
How do you reckon that one out?
Paul
Well, everyone's entitled to two, aren't they?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
Are you a mod or a rocker?
Ringo
Um, no. I'm a mocker.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
George
Arthur.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Man on train
Don't take that tone with me, young man. I fought the war for your sort.
Ringo
I bet you're sorry you won.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
Do you often see your father?
Paul
No, actually, we're just good friends.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
The place is surging with girls.
John
Please, sir, sir, can I have one to surge me, sir, please, sir?
Norm
No, you can't!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
[as TV Director walks away with PA]
There he goes. Look at him. Bet his wife doesn't know about her.
John
If he's got one. Look at his sweater.
Paul
You never know, she might have knitted it.
John
She knitted him.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
Sorry we hurt your field, mister.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
I don't snore.
George
You do, repeatedly.
Ringo
Do I snore, John?
John
Yeah, you're a window-rattler, son.
Ringo
That's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul?
Paul
With a trombone hooter like yours, it would be unnatural if you didn't.
Grandfather
Now, Paulie... don't mock the afflicted.
Paul
Ah, come off it, it's only a joke!
Grandfather
Aye, it may be a joke to you, but it's his nose. He can't help having a hideous great hooter! And his poor little head, trembling under the weight of it!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Millie
Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me who you are.
John
No, I'm not.
Millie
Oh, you are.
John
I'm not.
Millie
Oh, you are, I know you are.
John
I'm not, no.
Millie
You look just like him.
John
Do I? You're the first one that's said that ever.
Millie
[motions to the mirror]
Yes, you do. Look.
John
No, my eyes are lighter. The nose.
Millie
Oh, your nose is very...
John
Is it?
Millie
I would have said so.
John
Oh, you know him better, though.
Millie
I do not! He's only a casual acquaintance.
John
That's what you say.
Millie
What have you heard?
Millie
Is it? Is it really?
John
Mmm, but I wouldn't have it. I stuck up for you.
Millie
I knew I could rely on you.
John
Thanks.
Millie
[puts on her glasses]
You don't look like him at all.
[John walks away, pouting]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
What do you call that collar?
Ringo
A collar.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Ringo gets a large pile of fan mail]
John
Must have cost you a fortune in stamps, Ringo.
George
He comes from a large family.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
Hey, look at the talent. Let's give them a pull.
Paul
Should I?
George
Aye, but don't rush. None of your five-bar gate jumps and over sort of stuff.
Paul
What's that supposed to mean?
George
I don't know, I just thought it sounded distinguished-like.
John
George Harrison, the Scouse of distinction!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
[arrested, at the police station]
I demand to see my solicitor!
Police Inspector
What's his name?
Ringo
Well, if you're gonna get technical about it...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
Would you look at him? Sittin' there with his hooter scrapin' away at that book!
Ringo
Well, what's the matter with that?
Grandfather
Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that?
Ringo
You can learn from books!
Grandfather
You can, can you? Pahh! Sheeps' heads! You could learn more by gettin' out there and living!
Ringo
Out where?
Grandfather
Any-old-where! But not our little Richard. Oh, no. When you're not thumpin' them pagan skins you're tormenting your eyes with that rubbish.
Ringo
Books are good.
Grandfather
*Parading's* better.
Ringo
Parading?
Grandfather
[nods eagerly]
Parading the streets! Trailing your coat! Bowling along! LIVING!
Ringo
Well, I am living.
Grandfather
You? Living? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a Sheila with your cool, appraising stare?
Ringo
You're a bit old for that sort of chat, aren't you?
Grandfather
Well at least I've got a backlog of memories! All you've got is--THAT BOOK!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Simon Marshall
Anyway, if you don't cooperate, you won't meet Susan.
George
And who's this Susan when she's at home?
Simon Marshall
Only Susan Canby, our resident teenager. You'll have to love her, she's your symbol.
George
Oh, you mean that posh bird who gets everything wrong?
Simon Marshall
I beg your pardon?
George
Oh, yeah. The lads frequently sit 'round the television and watch her for a giggle. In fact, once, we all sat down, wrote these letters, saying how gear she was and all that rubbish.
Simon Marshall
She's a trendsetter. It's her profession!
George
She's a DRAG--a well-known drag. We turn the sound down on her and say rude things.
Simon Marshall
[horrified]
Get him out of here...!
George
Have I said something amiss?
Simon Marshall
Get him out! He's knocking the program's image!
George
Sorry about the shirts!
Simon Marshall
[angrily]
GET HIM OUT!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
[referring to half-dressed room-service waiter hiding in the wardrobe]
Any of you lot put a man in the cupboard?
George
Nah!
Paul
Don't be soft!
Ringo
Well, someone did.
George
[George gets up, walks over, looks in the cupboard, then sits back down]
George
He's right, you know
John
There you go.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
Hullo.
John
He can talk then, can he?
Paul
'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?
Ringo
Well, if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[George has been mistaken for a teen model]
Simon Marshall
We'd like you to give us your opinion on some clothes for teenagers.
George
Oh, by all means. I'd be quite prepared for that eventuality.
Simon Marshall
Well, not your REAL opinion, naturally. It'll be written out for you, and you'll learn it. Can you read?
George
'Course I can.
Simon Marshall
I mean LINES, ducky. Can you handle lines?
George
Well, I'll have a bash.
Simon Marshall
Good. Give him whatever it is they drink, uh, coke-a-rama?
George
Ta.
Simon Marshall
Well, at least he's polite. Show him the shirts, Adrian.
[Adrian gives George some shirts]
Simon Marshall
Now, you'll like these. You'll really "dig" them. They're "fab," and all the other pimply hyperboles.
George
[unimpressed]
I wouldn't be seen dead in them. They're dead grotty.
Simon Marshall
Grotty?
George
Yeah, GROTESQUE!
Simon Marshall
Make a note of that word and give it to Susan. It's rather touching, really. Here's this kid, giving me his utterly valueless opinion, when I know for a fact that within a month, he'll be suffering from a violent inferiority complex and loss of status because he isn't wearing one of these nasty things! Of course they're grotty, you wretched nit! That's why they were designed! But that's what you'll want.
George
I won't!
Simon Marshall
You can be replaced, chickie baby.
George
I don't care.
Simon Marshall
And that pose is out too, Sonny Jim. The new thing is to care passionately and be right-wing.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
Has success changed your life?
George
Yes.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[the boys are listening to the radio]
Man on Train
And we'll have that thing off as well, thank you.
Ringo
But...
Man on Train
An elementary knowledge of the Railway Acts would tell you that I'm perfectly within my rights.
Paul
Yeah, but we want to hear it, and there's more of us than you. We're a community, like, a majority vote. Up the workers and all that stuff!
Man on Train
Then I suggest you take that damned thing to the corridor or some other part of the train where you obviously belong.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[repeated line about Grandfather]
Paul
He's very clean.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
We know how to behave! We've had lessons.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
He's very fussy about his drums, you know. They loom large in his legend.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
We've broken out! Ah, the blessed freedom of it all! Have you got a nail file? These handcuffs are killin' me! I was framed, I'm innocent, I don't want to go!
Paul
Sorry for disturbing you, girls!
John
I betcha can't guess what I was in for!
[laughs psychotically]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
God knows what you've unleashed on the unsuspecting South. It'll be wine, women, and song all the way with Ringo when he gets the taste for it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
Put yer tongue away, it looks disgustin' hangin out, all pink and naked.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Paul, John and George come out of the studio, looking for Ringo]
Paul
Let's split up and look for him!
[Paul walks away, George and John follow him. Paul turns around]
John
We've become a limited company.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
You should have gone West to America. You would have been a senior citizen of Boston. But you took a wrong turn, and what happened? You're a lonely old man from Liverpool.
Grandfather
But I'm clean.
John
Are you?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[the Beatles are late for a rehersal]
T.V. Floor Manager
They'll be here.
T.V. Director
Yes, well, if they aren't on this stage in precisely 30 seconds there'll be trouble? Do you hear me? Trouble.
[exactly three seconds after he stops speaking, the Beatles calmly amble onstage]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Now look, I've had a marvelous idea. Just for once, let's all try to behave like ordinary, respectable citizens. Let's not cause any trouble, pull any strokes, or do anything I'm gonna be sorry for. Especially tomorrow at that television theater, because...
[looks at John, who is holding up a bottle to his nose]
Norm
Are you listening to me, Lennon?
John
You're a swine. Isn't he, George?
George
Yeah, a swine.
Norm
[indifferently]
Thanks.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
[George runs into Ringo in the hallway]
Hey, Ringo, you know what just happened to me?
Ringo
No, I don't.
[George gives Ringo a dirty look]
Ringo
You ought to stop looking so scornful, it's twisting your face.
[George grabs his face and walks off looking confused]
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
Ringo, what are you up to?
Ringo
[Ringo is sitting under a hairdryer wearing a beefeater's bearskin hat and reading a magazine]
Page five!
John
You always fancied yourself as a guardsman, didn't you?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
What's the matter with you, then?
Ringo
It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me. It's 'cause I'm little.
George
Ah, you've got an inferiority complex, you have.
Ringo
Yeah, I know, that's why I play the drums--it's me active compensatory factor.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
[looking at Margaret Nolan's bosom]
I bet you're a great swimmer.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Man On Train
I shall call the guard!
Paul
Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults, you know. Let's go have some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
Look, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery. But so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gahs like yourselves, but I'm feeling decidedly strait-jacketed.
Lead makeup woman
What a clean old man!
Grandfather
Ah, don't press your luck.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Stop being taller than me!
Shake
I can't help it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Casino Manager
Before you go, gentlemen, there's a little matter of the bill.
Norm
I'll take care of that.
[Norm take a look at the bill]
Norm
[shocked]
180 pounds?
Casino Manager
I beg your pardon. Guineas.
Casino Croupier
Your winnings, my Lord. 190 pounds.
[Grandfather is excited, but the manager immediately takes the money from him as payment for the bill]
Grandfather
Where are me change?
Casino Manager
Cloakroom charge.
Ringo
Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.
[Grandfather and Norm angrly look at Ringo]
Ringo
Well?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Huge stacks of fan mail is delivered]
Ringo
None for me, then?
Norm
Sorry.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Having makeup applied]
George
Hey, you won't interfere with the basic rugged concept of me personality, will you, Madam?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
[sees Paul's grandfather for the first time]
Hey!
George
George, Paul, John, Ringo: [in unison] Who's that little old man?
Norm
Well, who is he?
Ringo
He belongs to Paul.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[Grandfather and Ringo are held in a police station]
Grandfather
Have they roughed you up yet?
Ringo
What?
Grandfather
Oh, they're a desperate crew of drippings, and they've fists like mature hams for pounding poor defenseless lads like you. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on, son, I'll be back here.
Ringo
For me?
Grandfather
And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket.
Ringo
They seem all right to me.
Grandfather
Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains.
Police Inspector
Would you two like a cup of tea?
Grandfather
See, *sly* villains.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
George
Honestly! Me mind boggles at the very idea, a grown man and you haven't shaved with a safety razor.
Shake
It's not my fault. I come from a long line of electricians.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Reporter
Do you think these haircuts have come to stay?
Ringo
Well, this one has. You know, it's stuck on good and proper now.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
He's sex-obsessed! The older generation's leading our nation in a state of galloping ruin!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
It's my considered opinion that you're a bunch of sissies.
John
You're just jealous.
Norm
Leave him alone, Lennon... or I'll tell them all the truth about you.
John
You wouldn't.
Norm
Oh, I would, though.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Now you've got about an hour, but don't leave the theater. Where are you going, John?
Norm
John, I'm talking to you! This final run-through is important, understand? IMPORTANT!
[John snorts like a pig, then leaves]
Grandfather
I want a cup of tea!
Norm
Uh, Shake?
Shake
[reaching for a guitar]
Um... I've got to adjust the decibels on the imbalance, Norm.
Norm
Clever. George?
[George puts his fingers in his ears]
Norm
Ringo, look after him, will you?
Ringo
Ah, Norm!
Norm
Do I have to raise my voice?
Ringo
All right. Come on, Granddad.
[mumbling]
Ringo
I'm a drummer, not a wet nurse, you know?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
I thought I told you lot to stay here. When I say stay put, I mean stay put.
Norm
Shut up, John!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
It's the Circle Club.
Paul
[reads aloud the invite]
"The management of the Circle Club takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey--that's you--to their gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer, Baccarat, and Champagne Buffet".
[He pronounces it like it's spelled]
Ringo
They want me.
John
It's gotten around you're a big spender.
Norm
[snatches the card from Paul]
Well, you're not going.
Ringo
Aww!
Grandfather
[snatches the card from Norm]
Quite right. Invites to gambling dens full of easy money and fast women. Chicken sandwiches and carts full of caviar. Disgusting!
Ringo
That's mine!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Shake
[Norm is smoking a cigar while Shake is reading a book]
He's been gone a long time.
Norm
Who?
Shake
Paul's grandfather.
Shake
Oh, I didn't notice. Where'd he go?
Norm
Down the uh...
[points down the train's hallway]
Shake
Oh, down the uh...
[points his head also down the hallway]
Norm
Yeah, down the uh...
[also pointing his head down the hallway]
Shake
Oh, well give him a couple minutes, then.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Paul
Oh, that this too, too solid flesh would melt... Zap!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Shake
It's not my fault.
Norm
What?
Shake
I'm not taller than you are. You're smaller than I am.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
It's your nose, you know. Fans are funny that way, they take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a nose.
Ringo
Aw, you pick on your own.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
T.V. Director
Get me a bottle of milk and some tranquilizers. I see it all now, it's a plot... a plot...
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
[playing baccarat]
Grandfather
My turn? Er... bingo!
Croupier
Pas "bingo," monsieur. "Banco."
Grandfather
Ah, I'll take the little darlins anyway.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
There you go, hiding behind a smokescreen of bourgeois cliches.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
Well, you got me here so do your worst, but by God, I'll take one of you with me! I know your game. Get me into that tiled room and then out come the rubber hoses!
Police Inspector
Oh, there's a fire, is there?
Grandfather
You ugly, great brute. You have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser!
Police Inspector
Eh?
Grandfather
I'll go on hunger strike! I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle tap.
Police Inspector
What's he on about?
Grandfather
I'm a soldier for the Republic! You'll need the mahogany truncheons on this boyo.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
T.V. Director
Now, look. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. I can't stand these backstage politics.
John
Aren't you tending to black-and-white the situation somewhat?
T.V. Director
Well, quite honestly, I wasn't expecting a musical arranger to question my ability picture-wise.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Come on, you lot! Get your pens out!
George
Why?
Norm
It's homework time for you load of college puddings. I want this lot answered TONIGHT!
Ringo
[sulking]
Aww... I want to go out.
Norm
Now, I'll brook no denial!
John
You couldn't get a pen in your foot, you swine.
Norm
Ooh! Chatter on, son. Chatter on! A touch of the writer's cramp will soon sort YOU out!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
Funny, really, 'cause I'd never thought of it, but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?
Grandfather
You're only right.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
And we're looking after him, are we?
Grandfather
I'll look after myself.
Paul
Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
John
He's got you worried, then?
Paul
Him? He's a villain, a real mixer. And he costs you a fortune in Breach of Promise cases.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
T.V. Director
We are on in 20 minutes.
George
Can I say something?
T.V. Director
What?
George
I don't think it's very likely that we will go on. The law of averages is against it.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Hey! Have you seen Paul's grandfather?
John
Of course. He's concealed about my person.
Norm
[rolls his eyes]
Now, he must have slipped off somewhere!
Paul
Have you lost him?
Norm
Don't exaggerate.
Paul
You've lost him!
Shake
Put it this way, Paulie: he's mislaid him.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
[to Grandfather as he sulks]
Don't worry son, we'll get you the best lawyer green stamps can buy.
Paul
Oh ho, it's a laugh a line with Lennon!
Paul
Anyway, it's your fault.
[points to Ringo]
Ringo
Why me?
George
Why not you?
[pause, he looks around baggage holding, pats the dog next to him]
John
God, it's depressing in here, isn't it? Funny. They usually reckon dogs more than people in England. You'd expect something more palatial.
[turns back to Paul]
John
Let's do something, then.
Paul
Like what?
[John takes out a pack of cards]
Paul
OK.
George
[as the schoolgirls arrive to watch]
Cor, there's the girls.
Ringo
I'll deal 'em.
John
[Ringo separates the cards into two even piles and simply flicks through them]
Aye aye, the Liverpool Shuffle.
Ringo
[after montage of them playing with "I Should Have Known Better" in background, Ringo has won]
Mine, all mine!
John
He's wearing his lucky rings.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
Shake, take that wig off! It suits you.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Norm
This is a battle of nerves between John and me.
Shake
John hasn't got any.
Norm
Any what?
Shake
Nerves.
Norm
That's the trouble. I've toyed with the idea of a ball and chain, but he'd probably just rattle them at me, and in public, too. Sometimes I think he enjoys seeing me suffer.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Paul
Yeah, where's the old mixer?
Grandfather
Here, Paulie.
Paul
I've got a few words to say to you, two-faced John McCartney.
John
Oh, leave him alone. He's back, isn't he? He can't help being old.
Paul
What's being old got to do with it? He's a trouble-maker and a mixer, that's good enough for me!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
Hey, he's reading the Queen... that's an in joke, you know.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
T.V. Director
You don't know what this means to me. If you hadn't come back it would have meant... the epilogue or the news... in Welsh... for life!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
I'm going out parading before it's too late!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Shake
Well, he just asked if he could have those photos, and Norm said no, and I said, "Well, why not be big about it?"
Paul
Yeah, and?
Norm
And your grandfather pointed out that Shake was always being taller than me just to spite me!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
Control yourself. You'll spurt.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Ringo
Come in, number seven, your time's up!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
Hey, Paulie, they're trying to fob you off with this musical charlatan. But I gave him the test.
T.V. Director
I'm quite happy to be replaced.
Grandfather
He's a typical buck-passer.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
[John in a voice-over heard during the press conference]
... and when I plugged her in, she just blew up.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Grandfather
And where would they be without the steady support of your drumbeat, that's what I'd like to know?
Ringo
Yeah, that's right.
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
John
I bet you can't guess what I'm in for!
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
Simon Marshall
You don't think he could be a phenomenon, do you?
Secretary
You mean, an early clue to the new direction?
🧡
👏
🥺
🤔
🥱
