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Kinoafisha Films The Brothers Bloom The Brothers Bloom Movie Quotes

The Brothers Bloom Movie Quotes

Penelope Stamp I think you're constipated, in your fucking soul... I think you might have a really big load of grumpy petrified poop up your soul's ass.

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Penelope Stamp This was a story about a girl who could find infinite beauty in anything, any little thing, and even love the person she was trapped with. And i told myself this story until it became true. Now, did doing this help me escape a wasted life? Or did it blind me so I didn't want to escape it? I don't know, but either way I was the one telling my own story...

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Penelope Stamp There is no such thing as an unwritten life, only a badly written one.

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Penelope Stamp I don't know about "truths." A photograph is a secret about a secret. The more it tells, the less you know.

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Stephen Have at thee, you ham-headed bastards!

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Penelope Stamp I collect hobbies. I see someone doing something I like, and I get books and learn how to do it.

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Stephen So what are your plans in Greece?

Penelope Stamp I don't plan.

Stephen Good for you.

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The Curator The Curator: Madam, your smile is the sun and fallen men like me, we need the sun.

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Bloom Do you feel cheated?

Penelope Stamp The trick to not feeling cheated is to learn how to cheat.

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Stephen The perfect con is one where everyone involved gets just what they wanted.

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Stephen You were the only audience I ever needed.

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Stephen [Opening a gate at the zoo] Is this the bathroom? Nnnnno. This is camels.

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Stephen I'm not thrilled they set this in Mexico. There could be legitimate reasons, but Mexico's- and I don't like to simplistically vilify an entire country- but Mexico's a horrible place.

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The Curator Your smile is the sun, ma chère. And fallen men, we need the sun.

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Stephen That's my new favorite camel.

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Bloom You don't understand what my brother does. He writes his cons the way dead Russians write novels, with thematic arcs and embedded symbolism and shit. And he wrote me as the vulnerable anti-hero. And that's why you think you want to kiss me. It's a con.

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Penelope Stamp I think a little real danger might suit me, so, uh, if you three want to join my smugglers gang, I'll uh, y'know, uh... consider it.

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Penelope Stamp Oh my god, I'm so horny!

Bloom [exiting] Goodnight.

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Penelope Stamp A thunderstorm! I LOVE thunderstorms!

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Stephen I have at different times in my life, sold sand to an Arab and ice to an Eskimo.

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Bloom How did you find me?

Penelope Stamp Bang Bang.

Bloom Bang Bang?

Penelope Stamp She gave me her cell number.

Bloom Bang Bang has a cell phone?

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Penelope Stamp I know I'm pretending to be a smuggler ba ba ba... BUT what you don't know is that I'm a real smuggler because I tell it like I own it. You know what your problem is? You just gotta stop thinking and just enjoy the ride man.

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Bang Bang [after blowing up the Prague castle] Fuck me...

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Stephen We're a genius, Bloom.

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Bloom Eat your waffles, fat man.

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Stephen The score to beat is 7.9. Keep your head in the game, that Japanese judge is very tough.

Bloom This is a banana seat, man.

[Stephen and Bang Bang stare at him]

Bloom Don't give me that blank look. You know what a goddamn banana seat is.

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Young Stephen Let 'em melt.

[he and Bloom walk away in slo mo. A Rod Stewart song starts playing]

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[repeated line]

Stephen Tastes like tinfoil.

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Stephen Can I get a 'wow'?

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[first lines]

Narrator As far as con man stories go, I think I've heard them all. Of grifters, ropers, faro-fixers; tails drawn long and tall. But if one bears a bookmark in the confidence man's tome, it would be that of Penelope, and of the brothers Bloom.

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[last lines]

Penelope Stamp He said to me, there's no such thing as an unwritten life. Just a badly written one.

Bloom Oh God.

Penelope Stamp I love you Bloom. You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna live. Like we're telling the best story in the whole world.

Penelope Stamp Are you ready?

Bloom [narrating] And Stephen said something else one. The perfect con is one where everyone involved gets just the thing they wanted.

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Young Stephen [to Bloom, after finishing their first con] So how's it feel?

Narrator In truth, young Bloom won't know for twenty years just how he felt.

[Beat]

Narrator And so, we'll skip ahead now in our story.

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Bloom I can't wake up next to another stranger, who thinks they know me, or even wants to know me, cause I don't know - who - I'm thirty five years old, and I, I'm useless, I'm crippled, I don't, I've only ever lived life through these roles that aren't me, that are written for me by you.

Stephen Tell me what you want.

Bloom Why? So you can write me a role in a story where I get it? You're not listening to me. I want a real... thing, I wanna do things how I don't know are gonna work out, a-I, want, a...

Stephen You want an unwritten life.

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Bloom What was your childhood like?

Penelope Stamp I make cameras out of watermelons.

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Narrator Another home, another main street. Stephen looked around, then summed the burgh up thusly:

Young Stephen Bloom, we've hit a one hat town.

Narrator One theater. One car wash. One café. One park. One cat. Which, through some mishap, had one leg.

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Bloom There's actually a nack to this. If you're trying to fast-track to a mark's sympathies, there's nothing quite as effective as having your first conversation be from a hospital bed... they put you in.

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Stephen See, you've reached an unethical conclusion. You think you want out, but you don't. One last con.

Bloom Where are we going?

Stephen New Jersey.

Bloom ...I'll get my coat...

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