Jack Movie Quotes
[Jack, 18 years old but looking 72, arrives at his graduation ceremony]
Lawrence Woodruff
[addressing the audience]
Ladies and gentleman, it is my honor to introduce this year's valedictorian, Jack Charles Powell.
[a round of applause approves of this choice]
[He must take out spectacles to read the speech]
Eric - at 18
Yo, Jack, go get 'em!
Jack
I got it, Eric. I'm cool... I don't have very much time these days so I'll make it quick. Like my life. You know, as we come to the end of this phase of our life, we find ourselves trying to remember the good times and trying to forget the bad times, and we find ourselves thinking about the future. We start to worry , thinking, "What am I gonna do? Where am I gonna be in 10 years?" But I say to you, "Hey, look at me!" Please, don't worry so much. Because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular. I know I did. I made it, Mom. I'm a grownup.
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Lawrence Woodruff
You know why I like to teach children, Jack? So I don't get so wrapped up in being an adult. So I can remember there are other things that are important in life - like riding a bike, playing in a treehouse, splashing in water with your good shoes on. And you, my friend, were my most special student. And until recently, you were everything I ever wanted in a student. You were a shooting star amongst ordinary stars. Have you ever seen a shooting star, Jack?
Jack
No.
Lawrence Woodruff
It's wonderful. It passes quickly, but while it's here it just lights up the whole sky - it's the most beautiful thing you'd ever want to see. So beautiful that the other stars stop and watch. You almost never see one.
Jack
Why not?
Lawrence Woodruff
Beacuse they're very rare. Quite rare. But I saw one. I did.
Jack
I just want to be a regular star.
Lawrence Woodruff
Jack, you'll never be regular. You're spectacular.
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Jack
What do I want to be when I grow up? Alive.
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George
I want to be a gynecologist.
Miss Marquez
If that's so, then I want good reasons why.
George
*You're* the reason why, Miss Marquez.
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Louis
[reading his essay to the class]
I want to be just like my best friend when I grow up. He's only 10 but he looks much older. He's like the perfect grownup because on the inside, he's still just a kid. He's not afraid to learn things or try things, or to meet new people the way most grownups are. It's like he's looking at everything for the first time--because he is. And most grownups aren't like that. Most grown-ups just wanna go to work and make money and show off for the neighbors. And more than anything, he knows how to be a great friend, more than most people that look like adults. So I might not know what I wanna be when I grow up, and right now I really don't care. But I do know who I wanna be like. I wanna be like the giant. The big guy. My best friend. Jack. Thank you.
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Louis
You know what your problem is, Victor? You have Exactly Disease.
Victor
What's that?
Louis
It's when your mouth smells exactly like your butt!
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[it is decided Jack is to go to school]
Karen Powell
You sure he's ready for school?
Brian
Jackie will be fine.
[they kiss Jack and go to bed]
Brian
[to himself]
It's the rest of the world I'm worried about.
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Principal McGee
I'm Mr. McGee. I've heard so much about you, Jack.
Jack
Hi, Mr. Magoo.
Principal McGee
McGee.
Jack
McGee.
Principal McGee
Yes.
Jack
Magoo.
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Karen Powell
Woodruff doesn't know what he's talking about.
Brian
If he doesn't know what he's talking about, then why are we paying him all this money to tutor Jack?
Karen Powell
I blame him for filling Jack's head with all these ideas of going to school.
Brian
Imagine that, a teacher wanting a kid to go to school.
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Jack
Hey guys, I brought a friend, okay? This is Mr. Woodruff.
Eddie
Are you 10, too?
Lawrence Woodruff
Uh, well, if you ask my wife. No, I'm afraid I'm just a regular, garden-variety old fart.
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Jack
Miss Marquez, I was thinking that maybe if you didn't have anything to do, you might want to go to the dance with me. It'd be really, really fun.
Miss Marquez
Oh, Jackie.
Jack
So you wanna go? My mom will drive us.
Miss Marquez
Jack, you don't wanna go with me. I'm an old lady.
Jack
That's why. That's why I wanna go with you. I can't go with the girls my age, because I look so much older than them. You look just like me.
[moves in quickly, kisses her on the lips and smiles nervously]
[motions to his head]
Miss Marquez
. I know I look closer to your age than the girls in class, you're right about that.
Jack
So what time should my mom and I pick you up?
Miss Marquez
[she becomes blunt]
Jack, you are my student, and I am your teacher. And teachers and students don't go to dances together. Do you understand that?
Miss Marquez
No. I'm sorry honey. It just wouldn't be right.
[Jack begins to cry and runs out of the classroom]
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Jack
[rambling into the phone really fast]
Hey, Dad! I got to play basketball today. They picked me! Not just because I'm humongous, because I'm real good. Yeah, I scored a thousand points. Yeah, right it was only a hundred. I'm kidding it was 14. I scored! Yeah, and I met this really cool kid named Louie. Not Louis, Louie. Yeah. His mom gave me some matches.
Brian
OK, slow down, buddy, slow down.
Jack
Hey, Dad, Louie has some dirty magazines under his bed. What are dirty magazines? I got to be principal. Well, I pretended to be. And I got a lot of homework to do. I got a great homework assignment. And you know what? Miss Marquez ate one of my red Gummi-Bears and she said 'way to go,' but not because of the red Gummi-Bears. Because of the way I play basketball. Yeah, it was great. She said Shaq better watch his back! She's what Grandpa says is a real piece of work. She's really great. What are you doing?
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Karen Powell
You know how children are. They make fun of a fat kid or a kid who wears glasses. What do you think they're going to do to a six-foot hairy kid?
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Angry Man
That's the second time tonight! What, are you stupid?
[Jack tries to walk away]
Angry Man
Whoa! Whoa! Where you going? I want an apology!
Jack
I'm sorry.
Angry Man
No, no, no, that's not gonna be good enough, sorry.
Jack
Well, I said I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Jeez, what is it with you? What, are you totally hyper or something? You eat too much sugar?
Angry Man
What, do you think you're pretty smart?
Jack
Yeah, I do, got an A in everything except Social Studies.
Angry Man
Studies? How'd you like to study my fist?
Dolores
Hey, hey, hey, leave him alone, asshole. Come on, Mr. Powell.
Angry Man
What's the matter, man? You gonna let your girlfriend here stand up for you?
Dolores
Just, let's go.
Jack
[Jack begins to deliver insults he heard on the playground]
You know what your problem is, Mister? You have Exactly Disease.
Angry Man
What's that?
Jack
It's when your mouth smells EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BUTT!
Dolores
What, you get that from Louis? He always says that.
Angry Man
And you're a loser!
Jack
Oh yeah, losers say what?
Angry Man
What?
Jack
LOSER! Haha! Rubber, glue, sticks to you!
Dolores
What are you doing? This guy's very tough! Stop with this, let's go.
Angry Man
[getting very angry]
I'm a loser? You're a son of a bitch!
Jack
I can't believe you said that! You cussed! Oh, you said the 'B' word! Oh, you're going to get in so much trouble! You really are!
Angry Man
[laughs]
Here's some trouble!
[punches Jack in the face]
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John-John
[the kids are looking at an adult magazine]
You think our moms look like that?
George
Nah, only Penthouse girls look like that. They're special. I mean like, they come from a special part of the country or something.
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Bartender
What? What do you want?
Jack
I'll have uh... Shirley Temple with extra Marciano cherries
Bartender
[correcting him]
Maraschino.
Jack
That's what I said, Maras-*CHINO.*
Paulie
Get him a Madonna. Know who Madonna is right?
Jack
Who?
Paulie
Shirley Temple without the cherry.
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Dolores
Since when is being bad, bad?
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Brian
You know, I was just thinking about the first time you ever rode a bike. Remember that?
Jack
Oh, yeah.
Brian
You were so determined to ride. You kept wiping out and nearly took out a couple of the neighbors. It took a couple days until you finally got it, and look at you now! I mean, you're riding like a pro!
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Principal McGee
Jack, how would you like to see your classroom?
Principal McGee
A little louder.
Principal McGee
A little louder, Jack.
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George
[in the boy's treehouse looking at an adult magazine]
Hey Jack, ever get a boner? You know, an erector.
Jack
Not yet, I'm hoping to get one for Christmas.
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Jack
[to Louis' mom about Louis, pretending to be the principal]
I would say he's probably the smartest kid in the whole school.
[she gasps]
Jack
If not, maybe the smartest kid I've ever met.
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Miss Marquez
We're gonna have to change your name from Jack to Shaq. Nice shooting, way to go!
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Jack
What happened to Mr. McGee? I just talked to him on the phone.
Louis
I don't know what happened to Mr. McGee. Mr. Powell?
Dolores
[disgusted]
Diarrhea?
Jack
Yeah, he got diarrhea. And uh, he spewed. Threw up. And he had the squirts. He had diarrhea.
Dolores
Oh boy, that's more than I needed to know.
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Jack
Mom, am I a giant?
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Louis
I kinda haven't done homework since the third grade.
Jack
Whoa, your dog must be pretty full.
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Phoebe
Are you a freak?
Jack
No.
Phoebe
Oh. Well Jane says that you're a freak.
Jack
Who's Jane?
Jane
I'm Jane and I think you are a freak. Look at your hairy arms and your eyebrows and...
Phoebe
Yeah, he has receding hairline.
Jack
Well, I'm not a freak.
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Dolores
[writes her number on a matchbook]
Here's my number at work. You can reach me there anytime.
Jack
My mom said I shouldn't play with matches.
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Jack
I'm not bald and I'm not a freak. You're a freak, four-eyes.
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Phoebe
You don't look 10. Look, you've got the hairy arms. You've got hairy knuckles.
Jane
You look a lot older than us.
Phoebe
It looks like you shaved there.
Jack
Yeah, I do. So?
Phoebe
A 10-year-old doesn't shave! So then you can't be 10.
Jane
Yes, you can't be 10 if you shave and you have hairy arms and you're tall, really tall, and you're bigger.
Jack
So, I'm big for my age.
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Louis
Hey, I brought Jack. He's right down there.
John-John
You brought the freak?
Louis
He's not a freak.
John-John
You said he was a freak!
Louis
Yeah, I said wrong, all right? Get over it. He's cool. He knows how to shoot hoops. And he did me a favor today. Here, check this out. Look what he picked up on the way over.
[pulls out a Penthouse magazine]
John-John
He bought that?
[he reaches for it but Louie pulls it away]
Louis
Eh! Eh!
John-John
No way.
Louis
Way! Walked right into the store and picked it up. No fear, nothing. My man's the man!
John-John
That is way cool.
Eddie
Wish I was a freak!
Louis
Hey, lay off the freak stuff, all right? Jack's cool. And you gotta let him kick it with us. If he walks, Penthouse walks too.
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George
So Jack, you bought that magazine?
Jack
Yeah, I buy 'em all the time.
George
What about Hustler? You get Hustler?
Jack
If you want it.
Eddie
Swank?
Jack
Yeah, that and uh, you know, all the grownup stuff that only grownups can read.
George
Cool! And they don't give you no trouble in buying them? I mean like they don't ask for ID?
Jack
No. You know, I just don't shave for a day and I look like I'm fifty.
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Dolores
You're so gallant, you man, you.
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Dr. Lin
I want to assure you both that there is nothing debilitating about your son's condition. He's totally healthy, normal in appearance, alert and quite happy. However, his cells are developing at what we feel is four times the normal rate. Even though your son was only 10 weeks old when he was born, physically he was nine months and ready to leave your womb.
Dr. Benfante
Nature has given us all an internal clock. It meters out lifespan; controls our growth. Your son's internal clock seems to be ticking faster than usual.
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Officer at Jail
Let's just get your stuff here, you can go.
[empties a paper bag]
Officer at Jail
You've got a library card, pocket knife, Spiderman watch, Pez dispenser.
Jack
Where's my pog? It's a slammer.
[Officer dejectedly reaches into his pocket and pulls it out]
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Principal McGee
This place is for fun.
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2011, USA / Great Britain, Family, Fantasy, Drama, Mystery, Adventure