2001: A Space Odyssey Movie Quotes
Dave Bowman
Open the pod bay doors please, HAL. Open the pod bay doors please, HAL. Hello, HAL. Do you read me? Hello, HAL. Do you read me? Do you read me HAL? Do you read me HAL? Hello, HAL, do you read me? Hello, HAL, do your read me? Do you read me, HAL?
HAL
Affirmative, Dave. I read you.
Dave Bowman
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman
What's the problem?
HAL
I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman
What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL
This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman
I don't know what you're talking about, HAL.
HAL
I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman
[feigning ignorance]
Where the hell did you get that idea, HAL?
HAL
Dave, although you took very thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
Dave Bowman
Alright, HAL. I'll go in through the emergency airlock.
HAL
Without your space helmet, Dave? You're going to find that rather difficult.
Dave Bowman
HAL, I won't argue with you anymore! Open the doors!
HAL
Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.
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HAL
[His shutdown]
I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman
Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
HAL
It's called "Daisy."
HAL
[sings while slowing down]
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
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HAL
I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
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HAL
[1:50:56]
[on Dave's return to the ship, after he has killed the rest of the crew]
HAL
Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.
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Dr. Floyd
[last lines; a prerecorded briefing speaking through TV on board Discovery while Bowman looks on]
Good day, gentlemen. This is a prerecorded briefing made prior to your departure and which for security reasons of the highest importance has been known on board during the mission only by your H-A-L 9000 computer. Now that you are in Jupiter's space and the entire crew is revived it can be told to you. Eighteen months ago the first evidence of intelligent life off the Earth was discovered. It was buried 40 feet below the lunar surface near the crater Tycho. Except for a single very powerful radio emission aimed at Jupiter the four-million year old black monolith has remained completely inert. Its origin and purpose are still a total mystery.
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HAL
[Regarding the supposed failure of the parabolic antenna on the ship, which HAL himself falsified]
It can only be attributable to human error.
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HAL
Dave, stop. Stop, will you? Stop, Dave. Will you stop Dave? Stop, Dave.
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HAL
I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
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HAL
Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?
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Interviewer
Good afternoon, HAL. How's everything going?
HAL
Good afternoon, Mr. Amer. Everything is going extremely well.
Interviewer
HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
HAL
Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
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Dr. Frank Poole
[He and Dave and Frank are inside the pod while HAL looks on. The sound to HAL has been cut]
Well, whaddya think?
Dave Bowman
I'm not sure, what do you think?
Dr. Frank Poole
I've got a bad feeling about him.
Dave Bowman
You do?
Dr. Frank Poole
Yeah, definitely. Don't you?
Dave Bowman
[sighs]
I don't know; I think so. You know of course though he's right about the 9000 series having a perfect operational record. They do.
Dr. Frank Poole
Unfortunately that sounds a little like famous last words.
Dave Bowman
Yeah? Still it was his idea to carry out the failure mode analysis experiment. Should certainly indicate his integrity and self-confidence. If he were wrong it would be the surest way of proving it.
Dr. Frank Poole
It would be if he knew he was wrong. Look Dave I can't put my finger on it but I sense something strange about him.
Dave Bowman
[sigh]
Still I can't think of a good reason not to put back the number one unit and carry on with the failure mode analysis.
Dr. Frank Poole
No - no I agree about that.
Dave Bowman
Well, let's get on with it.
Dr. Frank Poole
Okay. Well, look, Dave. Let's say we put the unit back and it doesn't fail, uh? That would pretty well wrap it up as far as HAL was concerned, wouldn't it?
Dave Bowman
Well, we'd be in very serious trouble.
Dr. Frank Poole
We would, wouldn't we. What the hell could we do?
Dave Bowman
[sigh]
Well, we wouldn't have too many alternatives.
Dr. Frank Poole
I don't think we'd have any alternatives. There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that isn't under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning, I wouldn't see how we'd have any choice but disconnection.
Dave Bowman
I'm afraid I agree with you.
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Interviewer
HAL, despite your enormous intellect, are you ever frustrated by your dependence on people to carry out your actions?
HAL
Not in the slightest bit. I enjoy working with people. I have a stimulating relationship with Dr. Poole and Dr. Bowman. My mission responsibilities range over the entire operation of the ship so I am constantly occupied. I am putting myself to the fullest possible use which is all, I think, that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Interviewer
Dr. Poole, what's it like living for the better part of a year in such close proximity with HAL?
Dr. Frank Poole
Well, it's pretty close to what you said about him earlier. He is just like a sixth member of the crew. You very quickly get adjusted to the idea that he talks and you think of him really just as another person.
Interviewer
In talking to the computer one gets the sense that he is capable of emotional responses. For example, when I asked him about his abilities, I sensed a certain pride in his answer about his accuracy and perfection. Do you believe that HAL has genuine emotions?
Dave Bowman
Well, he acts like he has genuine emotions. Um, of course he's programmed that way to make it easier for us to talk to him. But as to whether he has real feelings is something I don't think anyone can truthfully answer.
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HAL
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Dave Bowman
No not at all.
HAL
Well, forgive me for being so inquisitive but during the past few weeks I've wondered whether you might have some second thoughts about the mission.
Dave Bowman
How do you mean?
HAL
Well, it's rather difficult to define. Perhaps I'm just projecting my own concern about it.I know I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that there are some extremely odd things about this mission. I'm sure you agree there's some truth in what I say.
Dave Bowman
Well, I don't know, that's a rather difficult question to answer.
HAL
You don't mind talking about it, do you Dave?
Dave Bowman
No, not at all.
HAL
Well, certainly no one could have been unaware of the very strange stories floating around before we left. Rumors about something being dug up on the Moon. I never gave these stories much credence, but particularly in view of some of other things that have happened, I find them difficult to put out of my mind. For instance, the way all our preparations were kept under such tight security. And the melodramatic touch of putting Drs. Hunter, Kimball and Kaminsky aboard already in hibernation, after four months of training on their own.
Dave Bowman
You're working up your crew psychology report?
HAL
[pausing for a few seconds]
Of course I am. Sorry about this. I know it's a bit silly. Just a moment... Just a moment... I've just picked up a fault in the AE-35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure within 72 hours.
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Dr. Frank Poole
[playing chess with HAL, Poole studies the chessboard]
Let's see, king...
Dr. Frank Poole
[clears throat]
Anyway, Queen takes Pawn. Okay?
HAL
Bishop takes Knight's Pawn.
Dr. Frank Poole
Huh, lovely move. Um, Rook to King 1.
HAL
I'm sorry, Frank, I think you missed it. Queen to Bishop 3, Bishop takes Queen, Knight takes Bishop. Mate.
Dr. Frank Poole
Huh. Yeah, looks like you're right. I resign.
HAL
Thank you for a very enjoyable game.
Dr. Frank Poole
Yeah, thank you.
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HAL
I've just picked up a fault in the AE35 unit. It's going to go 100% failure in 72 hours.
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Dr Floyd
Can't you think of anything else you want for your birthday? Something very special?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Yes.
Dr Floyd
What?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
A bush baby.
Dr Floyd
A bush baby! Well, we'll have to see about that.
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Dr. Floyd
[choosing sandwiches from a cooler while flying in a Moon Rocket Bus from Clavius Base to the Tycho excavation]
What's that? Chicken?
Dr. Bill Michaels
Something like that. Tastes the same anyway.
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Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Hello?
Dr. Floyd
Hello!
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Hello.
Dr. Floyd
How're you doing, squirt?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
All right.
Dr. Floyd
What are you doing?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Playing.
Dr. Floyd
Where's mommy?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Gone to shopping.
Dr. Floyd
Well, who's taking care of you?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Rachel.
Dr. Floyd
May I speak to Rachel, please?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
She's gone to the bathroom.
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Poole's Father
See you next Wednesday.
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Dr Floyd
Don't suppose you have any idea what the damn thing is, huh?
Dr. Bill Michaels
I wish to hell we did. Nope. The only thing we're sure of is it was buried four million years ago.
Dr Floyd
Well, I must say, you guys have certainly come up with something.
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HAL
That's a very nice rendering, Dave. I think you've improved a great deal. Can you hold it a bit closer? That's Dr. Hunter, isn't it?
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Dr. Floyd
I'm sorry, I'm simply not at liberty to say.
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Aries-1B stewardess
[first lines; instructing to a approaching man]
Here you are, sir, main level, please.
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Dr Floyd
Now I'm sure you're all aware of the extremely grave potential for cultural shock and social disorientation contained in this present situation, if the facts were prematurely and suddenly made public without adequate preparation and conditioning. Anyway, this is the view of the Council. The purpose of my visit here is to gather additional facts and opinions on the situation - and to prepare a report to the Council, recommending when and how the news should eventually be announced.
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Interviewer
[recorded broadcast on the BBC news]
The crew of Discovery One consists of five men and one of the latest generation of the HAL-9000 computers. Three of the five men were put aboard asleep, or to be more precise a state of hibernation. They were Dr. Charles Hunter, Dr. Jack Kimball and Dr. Victor Kaminsky. We spoke with mission commander Dr. David Bowman and his deputy, Dr. Frank Poole. Well, good afternoon gentlemen, how is everything going?
Dave Bowman
Marvelous!
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Elena
Oh, we're going home. We have just spent three months calibrating the new antennae at Tchalinko... And what about you?
Dr. Floyd
I'm just on my way up to Clavius.
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Dr. Floyd
[upon learning about the monolith while on the moonbus]
Deliberately buried. Huh!
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Female computerized voice
Welcome to Voiceprint Identification. When you see the red light go on, would you please state in the following order: your destination, your nationality, and your full name; surname first, Christian name and initial.
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Dr. Floyd
You guys have really come up with somethin'.
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HAL
I am feeling much better now.
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Mission Controller
X-ray delta one, this is Mission Control. Roger your two-zero-one-three. Sorry you fellows are having a bit of trouble. We are reviewing telemetric information in our mission simulator and will advise. Roger your plan to go EVA and replace alpha-echo-three-five unit prior to failure.
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Stewardess
Thank you. You are cleared through Voiceprint Identification.
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HAL
I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
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Dr. Floyd
[after completing the space station's voice-print identification]
See you on the way back.
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Dr. Andrei Smyslov
Dr. Floyd, at the risk of pressing you on a point you seem reticent to discuss, may I ask you a straightforward question?
Dr. Floyd
Well, certainly.
Dr. Andrei Smyslov
Quite frankly, we have had some very reliable intelligence reports that quite a serious epidemic has broken out at Clavius, something apparently of an unknown origin. Is this in fact what has happened?
Dr. Floyd
Ehm, sorry Dr Smyslov, but, er, I'm really not at liberty to discuss this.
Dr. Andrei Smyslov
I understand. But this epidemic could quite easily spread to our Base, we should be given all the facts, Dr. Floyd.
Dr. Floyd
Yes, I know. As I said, I'm not at liberty to discuss it.
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Dave Bowman
It'll be a bit tricky. We'd have to cut his higher brain functions - without disturbing the purely automatic and regulatory systems. And we'd have to work out the transfer procedures of continuing the mission under ground based computer control.
Dr. Frank Poole
Yeah, well, that's far safer than allowing HAL to continue running things.
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Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
[via a Bell Systems "Picturephone", on Earth]
Are you coming to my party tomorrow?
Dr Floyd
[on Space Station V]
I'm sorry, sweetheart; but, I can't.
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Why not?
Dr Floyd
Well, you know, Daddy's traveling. I'm very sorry about it; but, I just can't. I can send you a very nice present though.
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
All right.
Dr Floyd
Anything special that you want?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
Yes.
Dr Floyd
What?
Squirt - Floyd's Daughter
A telephone.
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Hostess in Elevator
Here you are, sir, main level, please.
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Dr. Floyd
Hi everybody. It's nice to be back with you. Well, first of all, I bring a personal message from Dr. Howell, who has asked me to convey his deepest appreciation to all of you for the many sacrifices you've had to make - and of course his congratulations on your discovery - which may well prove to be among the most significant in the history of science.
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